Need some help BCT.
Let me preface by saying my girlfriends mother is a very loving woman that has raised a daughter I admire more than anyone I've encountered thus far in my life. If it weren't for this woman and by proxy her mother I wouldn't uphold some of the values in life I was shying away from before I met her.
Anyways not to sound completely biased, but my girlfriends mom is a traditional helicopter parent. If she passed away she'd be trying to direct my girlfriends every move from the grave. When we first started seeing each other mom literally forbade my girlfriend from driving to see me (we live 40 minutes away from each other) and since she pays for and owns the car my girlfriend drives my girlfriend doesn't fight back because she's got school and work. My girlfriend kind of disobeyed moms wishes and came to see me, got her car taken away for a while and had to ride the bus to work and school for a month. They didn't talk and they made up on he condition that girlfriend never drives herself to see me and that a tracker be placed on her car (oh also the tracker monitors speed and she can't go above 65mph). There's a lot more to this story and how my girlfriend is treated by her mother but I just wanted you guys to understand what we're dealing with here.
Now it's not secret that I've been unemployed and if anyone cares enough to notice I've mentioned moving in with my girl. I told my dad like the week I asked my girl to move in (very supportive, in fact we wouldn't have gotten the apartment If not for him). So everything is going perfect: apartment lined up, job lined up smooth sailing. *charlie Murphy voice* Wrong, wrong. Mom gets girlfriends credit card statement in he mail, opens it and sees that my girl has been helping me out here and there as well as noticing payments for a rental application. Shits currently blowing up in our face. Girlfriend wanted to tell mom about the move in this weekend even though we move in August first. Unfortunately this nuke went off ahead of schedule. Call it divine intervention or whatever but this is why I didn't want to tell mom about the move in at all.
Edit: btw we're both 24
Yeah I'll go ahead and quote the nicest thing that can possibly be said here..
WTF the fuck. Somebody has to get their feelings hurt, might be a bit, might be a lot, but it is going to happen. All you can do is try to soften the blow. Try talking to the mom, and let her know you being straight up.
Here it is. 24 years old? Nah..this is madness.
One thing slay, I've never met the mom. She wasn't ready to meet me. At one point she didn't want to meet me because I was unemployed. I couldn't talk to her if I wanted to. And people wonder why I'm so aloof about family. They're just as fucked up as anyone else. All the attributes of my own mother sans the physical abuse.
This is the most familiar story. Back in Miami with a white friend, and his Peruvian girl. Lived with her mother. Mom owned car. Paid insurance. All that happy shit. Difference was she wasn't allowed to see him at MY house lol..guess why?
Look, you can respect her plenty. Appreciate that she had a large hand in molding the woman you love. That's all swell. End of the day, though, this isn't about anyone else. If things work out with her mother? Phenomenal! No? No. Maybe she'll come around.
Again, you're moving in with your girl..not her mother. It's hard to make people change their views on things..it's up to her mother to accept change. It's never comfortable. As a parent, I can tell you this sounds a bit nightmarish to me lol. The facts remain the facts.
Good luck to y'all. As someone who lives in perpetual drama, all I can say is learn to ignore it. When we stick to the positives, our days go by quickly and happily. Let the nuts in? They become the longest, slowest, most painful days in life.
Own your shit..don't let anyone else dictate it.