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The Black Culture Thread |OT13| Kimba is the New Blacked

Htown

STOP SHITTING ON MY MOTHER'S HEADSTONE
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one of the better Chun-Li cosplays I've seen
 

Trojita

Rapid Response Threadmaker
Wife white. I know genetically it is a possibility I have that convo with my wife. But at 5 months you would see some kind of skin darking.

Its just bad man. It seems like the second marriage he had will end up in divorce just like the 1st and the same shit happened.

Oh and she's a trump supporter. At that point I'd show a bitch the door.

Shit my white is white I told her if that baby came out as light as there kid is ID get a DNA.

Hell looking at my new born photo I was white as hell

Na dude, you can have a child be completely white looking even when growing up with a white parent and black parent. It's just the way genes work.
 
So a few months ago,(before I had my gaf account) I was getting my haircut at a local barbershop in Massachusetts. I went to a black and Cape Verdean Barbershop, that served mostly black clients. At any given time the conversation in the shop can range from politics, religion or sports. On that particular day, a black guy who had just gotten his hair cut initiated a conversation on religion. What ensued was the most surreal experience of my life, as he went into detail with confident fervor on what he claimed was the greatest conspiracy of all time. This tale has multiple sections and I have broken them up accordingly.

Part 1: Jesus was Black and so was Buddha


The conversation was originally about Christianity and its origin. Now personally, I do not believe Jesus was black. I know he wasn't white, but I do not think he was African. This man did. According to him, Jesus' true race was changed by the Italian artists during the Renaissance era. This was the one credible point in his entire rant. He then went to claim that Africans had created all sorts of spiritual techniques, including the discovery of chi. This rolled into him claiming that Buddha, and all of ancient Asia were in fact black people. At this point, I made the terrible mistake of questioning his logic. According to him, the secret to Black peoples past conquests lied in the pyramids.

Part 2: Beam me up Ramses

With wide open eyes and an animated demeanor he began to reveal the true purpose of all the pyramids in Egypt, and the rest of the world. Apparently, the structures were built upon waypoints around the globe where electricity naturally flowed through. These points also matched up with the stars in the night sky, and when used properly they acted as teleportation devices. Using the pyramids, Africans could travel instantly around the planet spreading their influence across the world. You may be wondering how they constructed such an elaborate system in ancient times. With magic, of course.

Part 3: How I became A Wizard with 1 Weird Trick

Picking up in tone and pitch he went on to describe how Black Egyptians cut and transported blocks of limestone using telekinesis. Because according to him, there literally was no way people could have brought the blocks from where they were cut, to their final location. How did they gain magic powers you ask? By ingesting gold. He claimed that to this day, it is possible to gain telekinetic powers and levitate if you consume powdered gold. This point was followed up with " Look it up on the internet, you'll see its legit" This led to the what i deem was the second best part of his talk.


Part 4: Am I in A Black Dynamite Skit?

He went on to reveal that getting powers from gold was mere chemistry, something that Black people of course, discovered and mastered single-handedly. But this time, he gad proof. He said aloud "Chemistry. What does that sound like?" He then sounded it out. "CHEM-IS-TRY. It can also be pronounced as CHEM-MYSTERY. You then replace the C with a K and you get Khem-Mystery or the Mystery of the Khems. The Khems were an African tribe. Don't you see? The white people were hiding it in front of our faces the entire time! Chemistry belongs to the African people!" At this point I barely stopped myself from bursting into laughter, but even then, I had no idea what was about to happen next.

Part 5: Africas Billion Year Reich

Another Barber in the shop questioned his reasoning, which pushed him to reveal his final truth. I was unprepared for the absurdity of his next statement, even after everything that had been said before. Glancing around the room he made the statement "Black people have been on Planet Earth for a billion years" Everyone was promptly stunned into silence at sheer craziness of a statement that defied all reason and understanding. Looking around the room one last time before locking eyes with me, he confidently stated his rhetorical question. "Who do you think took out the dinosaurs?" He left a minute after that, and I promptly burst into laughter with the rest of the shop. It was a truly unforgettable story, that I'm glad to share today.
 

hypernima

Banned
I'm sorry about the sickle cell, Smiles. Not sure what your main goal is though. Raising sickle cell awareness or more donation for your own struggle with it? Both are righteous causes, just curious what you are focusing on more. I'd say listen to troljita.

This doesn't work.

raising money for sickle cell is hard. we nearly lost govt funding for it a few years ago.
my cousin did trials on it at nih, i was gonna join in but school.
 

RedSwirl

Junior Member
So a few months ago,(before I had my gaf account) I was getting my haircut at a local barbershop in Massachusetts. I went to a black and Cape Verdean Barbershop, that served mostly black clients. At any given time the conversation in the shop can range from politics, religion or sports. On that particular day, a black guy who had just gotten his hair cut initiated a conversation on religion. What ensued was the most surreal experience of my life, as he went into detail with confident fervor on what he claimed was the greatest conspiracy of all time. This tale has multiple sections and I have broken them up accordingly.

Part 1: Jesus was Black and so was Buddha


The conversation was originally about Christianity and its origin. Now personally, I do not believe Jesus was black. I know he wasn't white, but I do not think he was African. This man did. According to him, Jesus' true race was changed by the Italian artists during the Renaissance era. This was the one credible point in his entire rant. He then went to claim that Africans had created all sorts of spiritual techniques, including the discovery of chi. This rolled into him claiming that Buddha, and all of ancient Asia were in fact black people. At this point, I made the terrible mistake of questioning his logic. According to him, the secret to Black peoples past conquests lied in the pyramids.

Part 2: Beam me up Ramses

With wide open eyes and an animated demeanor he began to reveal the true purpose of all the pyramids in Egypt, and the rest of the world. Apparently, the structures were built upon waypoints around the globe where electricity naturally flowed through. These points also matched up with the stars in the night sky, and when used properly they acted as teleportation devices. Using the pyramids, Africans could travel instantly around the planet spreading their influence across the world. You may be wondering how they constructed such an elaborate system in ancient times. With magic, of course.

Part 3: How I became A Wizard with 1 Weird Trick

Picking up in tone and pitch he went on to describe how Black Egyptians cut and transported blocks of limestone using telekinesis. Because according to him, there literally was no way people could have brought the blocks from where they were cut, to their final location. How did they gain magic powers you ask? By ingesting gold. He claimed that to this day, it is possible to gain telekinetic powers and levitate if you consume powdered gold. This point was followed up with " Look it up on the internet, you'll see its legit" This led to the what i deem was the second best part of his talk.


Part 4: Am I in A Black Dynamite Skit?

He went on to reveal that getting powers from gold was mere chemistry, something that Black people of course, discovered and mastered single-handedly. But this time, he gad proof. He said aloud "Chemistry. What does that sound like?" He then sounded it out. "CHEM-IS-TRY. It can also be pronounced as CHEM-MYSTERY. You then replace the C with a K and you get Khem-Mystery or the Mystery of the Khems. The Khems were an African tribe. Don't you see? The white people were hiding it in front of our faces the entire time! Chemistry belongs to the African people!" At this point I barely stopped myself from bursting into laughter, but even then, I had no idea what was about to happen next.

Part 5: Africas Billion Year Reich

Another Barber in the shop questioned his reasoning, which pushed him to reveal his final truth. I was unprepared for the absurdity of his next statement, even after everything that had been said before. Glancing around the room he made the statement "Black people have been on Planet Earth for a billion years" Everyone was promptly stunned into silence at sheer craziness of a statement that defied all reason and understanding. Looking around the room one last time before locking eyes with me, he confidently stated his rhetorical question. "Who do you think took out the dinosaurs?" He left a minute after that, and I promptly burst into laughter with the rest of the shop. It was a truly unforgettable story, that I'm glad to share today.

Don't you know? Conspiracy theories are always part of the black barbershop cycle.
 

Jackben

bitch I'm taking calls.
Senpaiatlarge that story is hilarious. The conspiracy nut is definitely a neighborhood staple. The "khem mystery" and dinosaur thing had me in stitches. I love how the crazy ones always come across as reasonable in the beginning but begin to unravel the longer they talk.
raising money for sickle cell is hard. we nearly lost govt funding for it a few years ago.
my cousin did trials on it at nih, i was gonna join in but school.
I can empathize. A lot of diseases and issues get swept under the rug for more "fashionable" and ambiguous causes like cancer. Which is ridiculous since cancer as a term is super generic and encompasses so much. It'd be great if something like the ice bucket challenge for ALS could happen for sickle cell.
 
So a few months ago,(before I had my gaf account) I was getting my haircut at a local barbershop in Massachusetts. I went to a black and Cape Verdean Barbershop, that served mostly black clients. At any given time the conversation in the shop can range from politics, religion or sports. On that particular day, a black guy who had just gotten his hair cut initiated a conversation on religion. What ensued was the most surreal experience of my life, as he went into detail with confident fervor on what he claimed was the greatest conspiracy of all time. This tale has multiple sections and I have broken them up accordingly.

Part 1: Jesus was Black and so was Buddha


The conversation was originally about Christianity and its origin. Now personally, I do not believe Jesus was black. I know he wasn't white, but I do not think he was African. This man did. According to him, Jesus' true race was changed by the Italian artists during the Renaissance era. This was the one credible point in his entire rant. He then went to claim that Africans had created all sorts of spiritual techniques, including the discovery of chi. This rolled into him claiming that Buddha, and all of ancient Asia were in fact black people. At this point, I made the terrible mistake of questioning his logic. According to him, the secret to Black peoples past conquests lied in the pyramids.

Part 2: Beam me up Ramses

With wide open eyes and an animated demeanor he began to reveal the true purpose of all the pyramids in Egypt, and the rest of the world. Apparently, the structures were built upon waypoints around the globe where electricity naturally flowed through. These points also matched up with the stars in the night sky, and when used properly they acted as teleportation devices. Using the pyramids, Africans could travel instantly around the planet spreading their influence across the world. You may be wondering how they constructed such an elaborate system in ancient times. With magic, of course.

Part 3: How I became A Wizard with 1 Weird Trick

Picking up in tone and pitch he went on to describe how Black Egyptians cut and transported blocks of limestone using telekinesis. Because according to him, there literally was no way people could have brought the blocks from where they were cut, to their final location. How did they gain magic powers you ask? By ingesting gold. He claimed that to this day, it is possible to gain telekinetic powers and levitate if you consume powdered gold. This point was followed up with " Look it up on the internet, you'll see its legit" This led to the what i deem was the second best part of his talk.


Part 4: Am I in A Black Dynamite Skit?

He went on to reveal that getting powers from gold was mere chemistry, something that Black people of course, discovered and mastered single-handedly. But this time, he gad proof. He said aloud "Chemistry. What does that sound like?" He then sounded it out. "CHEM-IS-TRY. It can also be pronounced as CHEM-MYSTERY. You then replace the C with a K and you get Khem-Mystery or the Mystery of the Khems. The Khems were an African tribe. Don't you see? The white people were hiding it in front of our faces the entire time! Chemistry belongs to the African people!" At this point I barely stopped myself from bursting into laughter, but even then, I had no idea what was about to happen next.

Part 5: Africas Billion Year Reich

Another Barber in the shop questioned his reasoning, which pushed him to reveal his final truth. I was unprepared for the absurdity of his next statement, even after everything that had been said before. Glancing around the room he made the statement "Black people have been on Planet Earth for a billion years" Everyone was promptly stunned into silence at sheer craziness of a statement that defied all reason and understanding. Looking around the room one last time before locking eyes with me, he confidently stated his rhetorical question. "Who do you think took out the dinosaurs?" He left a minute after that, and I promptly burst into laughter with the rest of the shop. It was a truly unforgettable story, that I'm glad to share today.

Well that was just incredible.

------

I see we're back to the thirst part of the cycle lol.
 
Thanks for the response guys, it's been my dream to relate an interesting story. Some side bits not in my first post:

Native Americans were also black

White people showed up out of nowhere in the past few thousand years and stole black peoples future technology

White people managed to have sex with every race from Europe to Asia, and that's why they don't have black features.

Earth was a combination of Asgard and Atlantis under African rule, until the White man showed up.

If you have any other questions I will try to answer as best as I can.
 

jmood88

Member
There has been a lot of Bernie supporters talking down to black people but I hadn't seen as much outright hostility until yesterday. There were even people who I thought were cool who showed how racist they really are, talking about how black people are dumb and shit. What's funny is that their reaction is exactly the same as the diehard Hillary supporters' when Obama beat her in the primary. This is exactly why I don't fuck with white liberals all too often.
 

Jackben

bitch I'm taking calls.
The fuckery that will occur when Bernie loses the nomination will destroy any momentum the Democratic Party might have in the run up to the national race. Calling it now: this will be a republican election.

And it will be the same people talking down to minorities that blame the same minorities for it. People are terrible.
 
The fuckery that will occur when Bernie loses the nomination will destroy any momentum the Democratic Party might have in the run up to the national race. Calling it now: this will be a republican election.

And it will be the same people talking down to minorities that blame the same minorities for it. People are terrible.

I hope you're wrong about the Republican part. I know we will be blamed no matter what happens. We are continuing the status quo and empowering the oligarchy. I'll deal with that for now
 

Jackben

bitch I'm taking calls.
I hope you're wrong about the Republican part. I know we will be blamed no matter what happens. We are continuing the status quo and empowering the oligarchy. I'll deal with that for now
but why can't you just put petty issues like your human rights aside so that Bernie can get the rest of us free college? He walked with dr King, why isn't that good enough for you people
 
but why can't you just put petty issues like your human rights aside so that Bernie can get the rest of us free college? He walked with dr King, why isn't that good enough for you people

Dr King is dead Jack. He can't cosign for Bernie now. Killer Mike's beard isn't enough to consolidate the will of the people. Free college is just a free pass to have campus security stop, frisk, and unload. 3 degrees and the cops still racially profile me. These people have no idea how the world works.
 
The fuckery that will occur when Bernie loses the nomination will destroy any momentum the Democratic Party might have in the run up to the national race. Calling it now: this will be a republican election.

And it will be the same people talking down to minorities that blame the same minorities for it. People are terrible.

Nah, his under 29 base are the least reliable voting block. Trump will not win, he won't ever go above 45% IMO. He's having fun at the kids table, but when it's Showtime he can't dance around the questions/challenges of a seasoned politician.
 

Jackben

bitch I'm taking calls.
Dr King is dead Jack. He can't cosign for Bernie now. Killer Mike's beard isn't enough to consolidate the will of the people. Free college is just a free pass to have campus security stop, frisk, and unload. 3 degrees and the cops still racially profile me. These people have no idea how the world works.
Haha Killer Mike's beard. And yeah, 3 degrees and still a walking target is the grim truth.
Nah, his under 29 base are the least reliable voting block. Trump will not win, he won't ever go above 45% IMO. He's having fun at the kids table, but when it's Showtime he can't dance around the questions/challenges of a seasoned politician.
I really hope you're right. Maybe I am just seeing the animosity between the democratic voters because I follow that more than the republican camps. But damn if things haven't become increasingly divided the further into we get into the election cycle.
 
Haha Killer Mike's beard. And yeah, 3 degrees and still a walking target is the grim truth.I really hope you're right. Maybe I am just seeing the animosity between the democratic voters because I follow that more than the republican camps. But damn if things haven't become increasingly divided the further into we get into the election cycle.

The animosity exist on the internet, the domain if the Bernie Bro. The outlier states of Iowa and New Hampshire don't represent the country as a whole. You will see after super Tuesday the BS "revolution" was no more then the guy selling Jack Some magic beans. At least his beans worked.
 
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