I don't watch enough Tarantino to notice what you're describing while watching his movies but I definitely believe you based on what I know about Tarantino. That said, when I see that video you posted and see Samuel L Jackson or Ving Rhames saying the N word, it just doesn't register as a problem unless I "think" about Tarantino writing it. It's when Tarantino and other white actors in the video say the word that my mind goes "Database Error. The database has encountered a problem".
I'm DEEPLY conflicted when it comes to Tarantino. As a filmmaker and writer, I love this guy. I love his movies. As a black man, there's always ONE scene in every movie that shows his deep-seeded...something...fear? I don't know what it is. It's like Howard Stern. Same issue. There's something underlying that they simply cannot hide when it comes to black men. It's a mix of thinking that we're cool, but also fearful. It's troubling and muddies my enjoyment of his work because he's an amazing filmmaker, but fuck this dude in the same breath.
I remember being in college watching True Romance. Again, LOVE the movie but the scene when the father is killed and this 'heroic' character's last breath of defiance is to call his killer a descendant of black men (which is apparently the DEEPEST INSULT), only for the killer to be so offended but so respectful that he HAS to kill this guy in the worst possible way...
It was very painful as a black man to watch because the insult just rings no matter what happens on screen. And again, and again with EVERY Tarantino movie there's always one scene, one unnecessary out of place jab that pokes out and rears it's ugly head full of QT's deep issues.
When you guys watch Hateful Eight (a fantastic movie), you'll know what I'm talking about. Once again, here's an out of place scene playing on the fear of black masculinity, power, and homosexuality. Every time there's SOMETHING. And this wasn't even the movie that bothered me with the use of the word N.
Don't get me started on Django. It's the one QT movie that I can't watch without getting angry.