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The Black Culture Thread |OT4| Learn to love the BBC
- Thread starter HomShaBom
- Start date
Oldschoolgamer
The physical form of blasphemy
Took multiple L's going to ratchet mess. Noooooo
The Faceless Master
Member
but i've been before & it was never this ratchet
Alligatorjandro
Banned
i feel like fightin somebody after seein that
Idk why but I'm laughing at how "matter of fact" it is lol
Professor Beef
Banned
"ratchetmess used to be one of the good tumblrs"
Massive Duck. C.M.
Banned
There's ratchet, and there's...that.
That thing should have its own term...soul-blighting or something. Thank God I only saw a phone-sized slice...
Boombloxer
Member
Not visiting ratchetmess. I can feel the L's brewing already.
I got my fill today of people commenting on sexuality with their Moe avatars.
Well now you convinced me
no
No no no no no no
NO NO NO
Well now you convinced me
You'd think that in this situation a woman who literally credits me with saving her life would be about to put it down on me in this strip club private room. Yeah... no.
For the next two months, I'd be treated like a Don in this strip club and my boys were constantly looked after too. At first glance, it looked like the set up that people dream of. In actuality it was... just that, but there was a large caveat. I'd hit up Midnights every other weekend and I'd always hit up Beth prior to showing up. Everything would be great, then I would go off with her at some point during the night to the lapdance section or a private room and we would do what made no sense at all.
We'd talk. Well, she would talk. I'd be confused as fuck trying to sort out what was going through her head while getting lapdances from her as some sort of weird pseudo-torture. And this went on for a while. Weeks. Everything from how she met Aaron to how she ended up in Texas to why she started stripping. None of those things are important. Even then they weren't. Eventually, as expected, I had a lot of people in my ear that were outright saying that I should smash or that I already did (and this was at work, in front of Aaron too - but he was a bitch so he just cried under the sink after dapping me up in the morning). And it sort of got to me. I STILL thought I had a thing for crazy women after all this but ....I just didn't really feel like it. Yes, she was bad as shit. Yes, she was actually a good person. Yes, it would've been dope to have stripper income in my account. Yes, I would've loved to be officially married in the military and get all the extra bonuses that come with it. But every time I thought about pushing up on her, it felt forced. Not only that though, but she ONLY wanted to see me at the strip club. Nowhere else. I wasn't about to go to the strip club and pay US dollars though. That's simpwork. And Calvin had the market cornered. So it was just something I'd never seen before and nothing I felt comfortable with. The old me would've made terrible, fantastic mistakes with her but I just didn't have the energy for that anymore.
So... it became something strange. I still went to the club but after the 3rd or 4th time, to me, it was nothing more than having a good time with my squad and me checking up on a woman that I knew was essentially 'nowhere'. There were times when I did see if she was trying to come back with me, she said any other time every time (meanwhile, Gabby was getting slayed by my friend nightly and she had dude in a new pair of jordans every week) and there were times when I told her that I was getting too close - just to see what she was about. She acknowledged that more than anything, but even then it was weird. It was like she was just hollow. And once I noticed myself getting dangerously close to potential drake-like symptoms, I stopped. Then things went downhill.
Last time I went to see her, everything went like it always did. Come in, her friends love my boys because they don't look like pathetic, socially inept, momma's boys who are fresh out of basic and don't show up to clubs in their PT shoes. Sit down, drank. Beth hops out of some dudes lap to come see me, I lick up the tears and point him to a suicide booth. Gabby gets the Heisman. Everyone pours up. Then Beth and I slink away.
This time though... She goes off on some weird shit. I'd actually got pretty good at interpreting English with titties and ass in my face over the past few months, so I remember this one clearly. "I'm not mad at Ellen. I mean... Its not her fault that she didn't know." Ummm... okay? "She really is a nice girl. I met her right before she got situated at the unit. I know we'll never be cool enough to sit down and drink and laugh over all this but... I do wish I could at least tell her that I'm not mad". And then I went titty-deaf again. Whatever. Not like I'm dating or fucking. No point in committing too much of this shit to memory... I come back just before Last Call.
This time though, I run into a this girl who absolutely does not belong in this club at all. Its her first night, you can see it on her face. She looks way too good. Shouldbeinmovies good. I told Devo and AM about this girl when I got back that night. Showed pics to a friend of mine too. When I say that she looked like the cloned hybrid of Marilyn Monroe and Hepburn, nobody would deny the claim. Now... I've been to strip clubs since my freshmen year in college so I know the game, even if she is new. I'm not going to just insult her and pull her aside to our spot though. Fuck it, pay like I'm supposed to. She earned it - because I haven't been genuinely attracted to anyone in a while. And goddamn did she earn it. But she was waaay too into it. Something seemed off but I was loving it so... #whynot ask for a second lapdance? This time though, she asks if come to this club a lot. I thought about lying but I'd been lying for the past 8 months now. I needed a day off, right?
"I come through just about every week - but its really just to check up on a friend more or less. Only place we can talk."
"Who?"
"Beth. That's my friend. She's been through a lot but this is kinda the only place I can catch up with her."
"I love her. She's the best... you're good for that. This is my first night and she's been the nicest to me."
"I figured you were new, you kinda stand out ha"
"How?"
"You think I pay money just to talk to people here?"
"Uh huh. Talk to me then."
Then she gets up, and turns around to look me in the eye. At first I was just curious about the girl who didn't belong in a military town strip club, but now? Yeah, she was making an impression. She was really into me and kinda got obvious that she was using the lapdance as a way to just act out that she was feeling me. My first instict? I'm not that lucky. And I'll be damned if I try and 'save' another full-time stripper.
"Let me guess, you're DY? The bouncer said you're military"
"Yep... but that's pretty vague."
"So what do you do?"
I NEVER tell anyone my job in the military when I'm out off-post. NEVER. But she got it.
"<insert job here> (is actually damned good job), but I got things I want to do outside of that"
"Well, we all have dreams? Don't we?"
SOLD.
And before I can even think about what to do next and how not to do it in a way that would put her on blast, she asks for my number. I couldn't even believe it. And before I could even open my mouth, she says "Don't worry, I'll get it from Beth". She kisses me, then walks out.
Yeah. My mind is like that dude's face in The Happening after he laid down in front of a lawnmower. First thing I do is hit up Beth - "yo, new girl just hit me up for my number"
"What? she's not allowed to do that"
"I KNOW. SHE KNOWS. But give it to her and say that I saved your life!"
"lol okay"
I leave the room and my dudes are looking at me, giving the round of applause... I fucking earned it though. That girl, to this day, is the most beautiful woman any of us have seen in person and I get shit for it all the time for leaving it up to Beth to pass on the goodness instead of chasing her down and putting a ring on her finger right then and there in the club. Why do I talk about her like this though? Because Beth is not only jealous, but spiteful, and possessive. I found out a few days later that she got the girl fired after that night, lied to me about passing the number on, then said that I was trying to pimp her out. Needless to say, I never saw that girl again. All because I stopped being Beth's.. whatever the fuck I was. So... yeah. Like I thought before, I'm not that lucky.
I texted Beth a few months ago actually, after I got back from the border stuff I was doing. Just wondering how she was, ya know? She told me to delete her number. I told her to take care of herself, then erased that number my from phone. Hope the best for her.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Sooooooooo I'm back to regular, non-strip club baller life.... Walking back from Division HQ one day and guess who pulls up beside me to offer me a ride? Motherfucking Ellen. And that bitchass motherfucker Calvin. He was salty as shit when she offered me a ride. She made him move to the backseat too lol. We shoot some small talk for a while, he gets dropped off at work and she asks me if I want to get dinner before heading back to the barracks?
Any single soldier living in the barracks will always say 'yes' to this question, so don't judge me for turning down cafeteria food. Ellen was always a nice girl. Best way to describe her is Maggie from Walking Dead. She's no dime, but I mean... she says the right things. Just cool to hang out with. All this time I'd never seen her out of uniform either so seeing her in sweats and a wife beater definitely changed how I saw her. The full stomach that she paid for was dope too. I was taken care of for the evening. And it was really out of nowhere too. Asks if I want to come back to her spot to chill out after dinner and again? How could I say no? If she was running game, I was losing - happily. But for some reason... I felt I had to at least see how far Aaron and Ellen went, just for my own curiosity. Because I'm stupid.
"You know... Beth isn't mad at you."
"Does it fucking matter? lol. Aaron is an idiot. And she is too. That night when you were at the hospital with them-"
"You knew about that?"
"Yeah - he fucking rented a car with money he stole from her to take me away to Mexico or some dumb shit. All we did was fool around once at his place and next thing you know he's calling me 3 times a day talking about how great we are together"
"He what?"
"Aaron was trying to convince me to go AWOL with him. I didn't even know he was married when his wife walked in on us"
"Sooo... you guys were actually in the act when she came in?"
"Yeah - so the bitch was in denial for like 6 months about whether or not we had sex when there was a condom wrapper right there on the table. I even tried to tell her once I found out that she was his wife. She just kept nodding and smiling like I didn't say that I fucked him. I just gave up and left."
"
"
"When you guys were at the hospital, this dude called me five times. Then he came straight to my house. Told him to leave. With a gun. He hasn't said a word to me since."
"well shit"
So she takes me back to her spot, tells me to take shoes off, throws me a beer (that she explicitly states is from her ex-boyfriend so I read that as "fuck that dude, you're at the plate right now"), and turns on sportscenter. We watch some highlights then get to talking. In 6 hours, she's established herself as the third realest woman I've ever met. I couldn't disprove anything she said and ...it made a lot of sense. I was relieved to know that I wasn't going crazy from the Beth thing - that it was actually Beth being crazy as shit and still hiding extra, undetectable crazy chakra underneath it all. Plus, she handled Aaron way better than I thought she did. Girl had a nice ass couch and TV setup too.
Just as I lay back and start getting comfortable she tells me she's 1 month pregnant though.
For the next two months, I'd be treated like a Don in this strip club and my boys were constantly looked after too. At first glance, it looked like the set up that people dream of. In actuality it was... just that, but there was a large caveat. I'd hit up Midnights every other weekend and I'd always hit up Beth prior to showing up. Everything would be great, then I would go off with her at some point during the night to the lapdance section or a private room and we would do what made no sense at all.
We'd talk. Well, she would talk. I'd be confused as fuck trying to sort out what was going through her head while getting lapdances from her as some sort of weird pseudo-torture. And this went on for a while. Weeks. Everything from how she met Aaron to how she ended up in Texas to why she started stripping. None of those things are important. Even then they weren't. Eventually, as expected, I had a lot of people in my ear that were outright saying that I should smash or that I already did (and this was at work, in front of Aaron too - but he was a bitch so he just cried under the sink after dapping me up in the morning). And it sort of got to me. I STILL thought I had a thing for crazy women after all this but ....I just didn't really feel like it. Yes, she was bad as shit. Yes, she was actually a good person. Yes, it would've been dope to have stripper income in my account. Yes, I would've loved to be officially married in the military and get all the extra bonuses that come with it. But every time I thought about pushing up on her, it felt forced. Not only that though, but she ONLY wanted to see me at the strip club. Nowhere else. I wasn't about to go to the strip club and pay US dollars though. That's simpwork. And Calvin had the market cornered. So it was just something I'd never seen before and nothing I felt comfortable with. The old me would've made terrible, fantastic mistakes with her but I just didn't have the energy for that anymore.
So... it became something strange. I still went to the club but after the 3rd or 4th time, to me, it was nothing more than having a good time with my squad and me checking up on a woman that I knew was essentially 'nowhere'. There were times when I did see if she was trying to come back with me, she said any other time every time (meanwhile, Gabby was getting slayed by my friend nightly and she had dude in a new pair of jordans every week) and there were times when I told her that I was getting too close - just to see what she was about. She acknowledged that more than anything, but even then it was weird. It was like she was just hollow. And once I noticed myself getting dangerously close to potential drake-like symptoms, I stopped. Then things went downhill.
Last time I went to see her, everything went like it always did. Come in, her friends love my boys because they don't look like pathetic, socially inept, momma's boys who are fresh out of basic and don't show up to clubs in their PT shoes. Sit down, drank. Beth hops out of some dudes lap to come see me, I lick up the tears and point him to a suicide booth. Gabby gets the Heisman. Everyone pours up. Then Beth and I slink away.
This time though... She goes off on some weird shit. I'd actually got pretty good at interpreting English with titties and ass in my face over the past few months, so I remember this one clearly. "I'm not mad at Ellen. I mean... Its not her fault that she didn't know." Ummm... okay? "She really is a nice girl. I met her right before she got situated at the unit. I know we'll never be cool enough to sit down and drink and laugh over all this but... I do wish I could at least tell her that I'm not mad". And then I went titty-deaf again. Whatever. Not like I'm dating or fucking. No point in committing too much of this shit to memory... I come back just before Last Call.
This time though, I run into a this girl who absolutely does not belong in this club at all. Its her first night, you can see it on her face. She looks way too good. Shouldbeinmovies good. I told Devo and AM about this girl when I got back that night. Showed pics to a friend of mine too. When I say that she looked like the cloned hybrid of Marilyn Monroe and Hepburn, nobody would deny the claim. Now... I've been to strip clubs since my freshmen year in college so I know the game, even if she is new. I'm not going to just insult her and pull her aside to our spot though. Fuck it, pay like I'm supposed to. She earned it - because I haven't been genuinely attracted to anyone in a while. And goddamn did she earn it. But she was waaay too into it. Something seemed off but I was loving it so... #whynot ask for a second lapdance? This time though, she asks if come to this club a lot. I thought about lying but I'd been lying for the past 8 months now. I needed a day off, right?
"I come through just about every week - but its really just to check up on a friend more or less. Only place we can talk."
"Who?"
"Beth. That's my friend. She's been through a lot but this is kinda the only place I can catch up with her."
"I love her. She's the best... you're good for that. This is my first night and she's been the nicest to me."
"I figured you were new, you kinda stand out ha"
"How?"
"You think I pay money just to talk to people here?"
"Uh huh. Talk to me then."
Then she gets up, and turns around to look me in the eye. At first I was just curious about the girl who didn't belong in a military town strip club, but now? Yeah, she was making an impression. She was really into me and kinda got obvious that she was using the lapdance as a way to just act out that she was feeling me. My first instict? I'm not that lucky. And I'll be damned if I try and 'save' another full-time stripper.
"Let me guess, you're DY? The bouncer said you're military"
"Yep... but that's pretty vague."
"So what do you do?"
I NEVER tell anyone my job in the military when I'm out off-post. NEVER. But she got it.
"<insert job here> (is actually damned good job), but I got things I want to do outside of that"
"Well, we all have dreams? Don't we?"
SOLD.
And before I can even think about what to do next and how not to do it in a way that would put her on blast, she asks for my number. I couldn't even believe it. And before I could even open my mouth, she says "Don't worry, I'll get it from Beth". She kisses me, then walks out.
Yeah. My mind is like that dude's face in The Happening after he laid down in front of a lawnmower. First thing I do is hit up Beth - "yo, new girl just hit me up for my number"
"What? she's not allowed to do that"
"I KNOW. SHE KNOWS. But give it to her and say that I saved your life!"
"lol okay"
I leave the room and my dudes are looking at me, giving the round of applause... I fucking earned it though. That girl, to this day, is the most beautiful woman any of us have seen in person and I get shit for it all the time for leaving it up to Beth to pass on the goodness instead of chasing her down and putting a ring on her finger right then and there in the club. Why do I talk about her like this though? Because Beth is not only jealous, but spiteful, and possessive. I found out a few days later that she got the girl fired after that night, lied to me about passing the number on, then said that I was trying to pimp her out. Needless to say, I never saw that girl again. All because I stopped being Beth's.. whatever the fuck I was. So... yeah. Like I thought before, I'm not that lucky.
I texted Beth a few months ago actually, after I got back from the border stuff I was doing. Just wondering how she was, ya know? She told me to delete her number. I told her to take care of herself, then erased that number my from phone. Hope the best for her.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Sooooooooo I'm back to regular, non-strip club baller life.... Walking back from Division HQ one day and guess who pulls up beside me to offer me a ride? Motherfucking Ellen. And that bitchass motherfucker Calvin. He was salty as shit when she offered me a ride. She made him move to the backseat too lol. We shoot some small talk for a while, he gets dropped off at work and she asks me if I want to get dinner before heading back to the barracks?
Any single soldier living in the barracks will always say 'yes' to this question, so don't judge me for turning down cafeteria food. Ellen was always a nice girl. Best way to describe her is Maggie from Walking Dead. She's no dime, but I mean... she says the right things. Just cool to hang out with. All this time I'd never seen her out of uniform either so seeing her in sweats and a wife beater definitely changed how I saw her. The full stomach that she paid for was dope too. I was taken care of for the evening. And it was really out of nowhere too. Asks if I want to come back to her spot to chill out after dinner and again? How could I say no? If she was running game, I was losing - happily. But for some reason... I felt I had to at least see how far Aaron and Ellen went, just for my own curiosity. Because I'm stupid.
"You know... Beth isn't mad at you."
"Does it fucking matter? lol. Aaron is an idiot. And she is too. That night when you were at the hospital with them-"
"You knew about that?"
"Yeah - he fucking rented a car with money he stole from her to take me away to Mexico or some dumb shit. All we did was fool around once at his place and next thing you know he's calling me 3 times a day talking about how great we are together"
"He what?"
"Aaron was trying to convince me to go AWOL with him. I didn't even know he was married when his wife walked in on us"
"Sooo... you guys were actually in the act when she came in?"
"Yeah - so the bitch was in denial for like 6 months about whether or not we had sex when there was a condom wrapper right there on the table. I even tried to tell her once I found out that she was his wife. She just kept nodding and smiling like I didn't say that I fucked him. I just gave up and left."
"
"When you guys were at the hospital, this dude called me five times. Then he came straight to my house. Told him to leave. With a gun. He hasn't said a word to me since."
"well shit"
So she takes me back to her spot, tells me to take shoes off, throws me a beer (that she explicitly states is from her ex-boyfriend so I read that as "fuck that dude, you're at the plate right now"), and turns on sportscenter. We watch some highlights then get to talking. In 6 hours, she's established herself as the third realest woman I've ever met. I couldn't disprove anything she said and ...it made a lot of sense. I was relieved to know that I wasn't going crazy from the Beth thing - that it was actually Beth being crazy as shit and still hiding extra, undetectable crazy chakra underneath it all. Plus, she handled Aaron way better than I thought she did. Girl had a nice ass couch and TV setup too.
Just as I lay back and start getting comfortable she tells me she's 1 month pregnant though.
Angelus Errare
Banned
Need to hit up Tyler Perry and make a TV show outta this shit DY.
EscoBlades
Ubisoft Marketing
DY the master of cliffhangers.
Massive Duck. C.M.
Banned
I feel like I should be paypalling someone for this level of entertainment.
Alligatorjandro
Banned
I knew Beth was no good
Never trust a skrippa
Never trust a skrippa
R10Neymarfan
Member
Damn some of GAF did the hard drugs one or twice. I haven't even smoked pot once in my life. White people are the druggies it seems. Stereotypes be damned
I've smoked one or twice and popped a few mollies, but I usually stick to good ole booze. Though I'm only half white. That hard shit does not interest me at all.
And hanging with people moving weight? Fuck that.
Massive Duck. C.M.
Banned
Less risk of jail time=TURNITUP
MorisUkunRasik
Member
Sounds like a challenge. Devo has harden my heart, I little time for empathy.
So is this the same girl you told us about that started the kid jokes?
No way in hell am I ever letting go of that suitcase of jokes.
Yeah
No...it fits. In fact, it needs to be a part of the story. The set up of DY's tale.
MorisUkunRasik
Member
Is the story that bad that dadDY jokes will be in bad taste?
Is this....is dis d end?
Alligatorjandro
Banned
DY almost raised Aarons kid?
damn
damn
He'll post Part 10 1/2 and then promise to come back for Part 10 2/2 and then forget about it.
GotEmRunnin
Member
So. Went to the docs today for a follow up after some tightness in my chest on Wednsday night. They put a brother on Plavix and after I pop my first pill you nikkaz throw ratchetmess at me???? I wasn't ready.
None of us were ready.
Massive Duck. C.M.
Banned
That site was like a Stinkmeaner dropkick to the soul
GotEmRunnin
Member
AND I just read the latest in DY's of our lives....I'm done for the night.
Oldschoolgamer
The physical form of blasphemy
Damn. Should have known Beth was going to flip the switch on you.
Weed is good shit.
Weed is good shit.
Professor Beef
Banned
I smoked weed with my cousins, and only them. Didn't trust a damn soul to be trying it from the dudes at school at the time.
that Buck Nasty status
Angelus Errare
Banned
I really never understood how blacks got the stereotype of both drug user and dealers when we're nowhere near the majority party of either statistic.
We would never have created meth.
Alligatorjandro
Banned
smh
Massive Duck. C.M.
Banned
I don't know what I'm seeing, but there's an Isley Brothers song playing somewhere
He better hope so, with all that tax money he owe.
Massive Duck. C.M.
Banned
Mr. Big not paid up? I thought we were done with star tax evasion.
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