Well half my birthday night sucked.
My friend's girlfriend asked me if her friend that just moved into town could join us on my birthday since a bunch of us were hitting up the club. I got the impression that she was trying to hook us up, since she kept dropping descriptors. A year younger than me, cute, redhead with a Scottish accent. I was like fosho, bring her along. I hit up my friend later to get confirmation, and dude told me to my face that his gf's friend was legit cute. Nigga did me
dirty.
I was at a lounge a friend DJ's at that's a few blocks away from the club we were going to, pregaming, but we were waiting on a few people, including my friend, his girlfriend and her friend. They arrived, and I was at a loss for words... in a bad way. The "cute friend," well, she was chub as fuck, and of course she was wearing the loudest gear in San Jo that night... you know, shit that wasn't doing her any favors. She was wearing some bright ass red summer dress, an even redder jacket over the dress, black leggings and some gold as fuck belt. She got closer and she had those dark rings around her eyes. Cute redhead my ass, this heffer walkin' in the club looking like Dr. Robutnick. We left the lounge, and walked to club which kind of sucked since it was starting to rain. Anyways, we ended up stopping half way there cause homegirl got hungry and needed to get in a McDonald's break. And girl didn't just get a chicken select wrap, she got a whole damned feast, but whatever.
Girl was on me all fucking night. Kept trying to talk, tryna grind, rubbin' all up on me off the dance floor, and mentioned on a few occasions that she "only lives a few blocks away"... home girl was trying to get it in. I don't know if it's indicative of the accent in general, but her deep ass Scottish accent would melt boners. That shit's good for war chants and demands for freedom, but it sure as hell ain't sexy. I have
recent history with not given a fuck when I'm drunk, and I sure as hell wasn't trying to be drug back to her habitat and wake up in bed the next morning wondering where I fucked up in life, so from that moment on
I didn't drink shit. I needed to be on top of my game.
Shit ruined my whole birthday night. Didn't get to dance with nobody, couldn't hit up any girls, was sober as fuck for half the night and generally couldn't do shit without this girl shadowing my ass. My friends tried to devert her away numerous times with no success, and homegirl couldn't catch a hint with a fucking strategy guide. Needless to say, I'm a bit pissed with my friend and his girlfriend.
