Frye, teach me the OKC have breh.
Step 1) Don't use the GAF thread for OKC
Step 1a) Don't pay for A List, it's a waste of money
Step 2) Get good, honest pics. Face shot or two, if you do outings include at least one picture from one of those.
Step 3) Answer the questions. Answer them honestly, and give them honest importance ratings. This will help drive highly compatible people to you. If you can't think of a good answer for a question, skip it where possible. Don't get mired in super specific ones. Once you've gotten up to it saying the best possible match is around 95%+, stop. Why? The algos will work fine at this point, but you also need to give people a chance to actually ask you some questions of their own.
I mention this about step 3 because some people will try to "optimize" their OKC questions to avoid someone not being interested in them, and answer them as generically as possible. This is about finding someone you want, not just finding anyone.
Step 4) Fill out your goddamn profile. Don't make it a novel, but just give people a summary of you. If you're humorous, crack some jokes. If you're serioustime, talk about your professional pursuits. Don't include your name in the profile. Avoid being super specific or preachy in your profile. It's dating, not lecturing, your super specifics should be done via the questions so the servers are sending people already compatible with you towards you anyway. Don't need to beat them over the head with your worldview.
Step 5) This is the big one. You need to put in work. View your matches at the top and side, use quickmatch, look at profiles. If you like someone, rate them a 4 or a 5. If you don't like them, either leave them unrated if it's borderline or 1 star them if you feel completely incompatible. BE CHOOSY ABOUT THE RATINGS, once again, let the computers help you. Don't rate everybody a 5 star.
Looking at profiles notifies them that you looked at their profile. So just looking will get people to look at you back.
Send messages to people you are interested in. Don't say "Hi" or "sup". Look at their profile. Find a subject you want to know more about, and ask them about it. Do this for at least 20 profiles per day. Don't overthink it, don't linger on anyone for too long. Just talk to them like a regular person. You're gonna be sending out about 20 messages a day, you're expecting probably 1 reply for every 20. If you don't get a reply, don't send another message. If you're conversating and they stop talking, don't send another reply either. Let people go at their own speed and don't be pushy.
As a personal aside, as a male looking for women on there, let them give you their number and let them ask you to meet up. 99 other dudes on OKC are sending just their phone number in messages, so stand out and just talk to them like a person. Everyone I've been with so far, have met up, and about to go play Connect 4 with? I let them ask me first. It also goes back to not putting your name in your account or profile; when someone is comfortable enough with you, they'll give you their name and ask for yours. It's not a "trick" or anything, it's allowing a little bit of mystery so you can feel the relationship progress. The asking for number thing is ultimately personal preference, but I'm living proof that letting the other person do it works.
