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[XANDER CAGE]

I was recently listening to Jedi Mind Tricks' Retaliation. It's a great aggressive rap for the most part, with one of my favorite beats of all time. However (questionable use of homophobic taunts aside), it has one glaring issue: the hook is incredibly fucking lame.

Why'd you want to battle with kids with steel tongues?
Who rip up mics
and drink Puerto rock rum?

So the first two lines there are fine. These guys have steel tongues and they will destroy you in a rap battle. Sure. But what's so hard about drinking Puerto Rican rum? Is it the fact that they're drinking rum supposed to be intimidating, or the fact that they prefer rum from Puerto Rico? Is their talent on the mic matched only by their particular taste in liquor?

It's such a weird line in a song full of otherwise vicious insults and boasts. What are some other self-aggrandizing lines that fall completely flat for you?

 

[enzo_gt]

http://www.complex.com/music/2009/06/the-69-most-pause-worthy-lyrics-in-hip-hop-history

 

[SaviorX]

"I'll put my dick in yo eye, so you could SEE me coming!" - DMX

 

[Esch]

"Worth 200 million, bicentennial n199a"-Nas

Strong words from a man who's getting sonned by the IRS and an ex wife

 

[ElectricBlanketFire]

"Kobe how my ass taste?"

 

[DietRob]

Tuck my napkin in my shirt cuz I'm just mobbin like that
You know good and well that you don't want a problem like that
- Drake


What spaghetti sauce on your blouse... please.

 

[Guevara]

Gotta laugh at old Notorious B.I.G. Dude was one of the best ever, but:

Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis
When I was dead broke, man I couldn't picture this
50 inch screen, money green leather sofa
Got two rides, a limousine with a chauffeur​

Inflation lol, everybody got a 50 inch screen, sofa and game systems. I guess having a chauffeur is still legit.

 

[see5harp]

"Rolling in MPV's PHAT!!!" Wu-Tang

Simpler days obviously but even back then rolling in a Mazda mini van wasn't exactly ballin.

 

[XANDER CAGE]

Gotta laugh at old Notorious B.I.G. Dude was one of the best ever, but:

Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis
When I was dead broke, man I couldn't picture this
50 inch screen, money green leather sofa
Got two rides, a limousine with a chauffeur​

Inflation lol, everybody got a 50 inch screen, sofa and game systems. I guess having a chauffeur is still legit.

A 50-inch screen then probably weighed as much as his limo, but it is funny in retrospect now. A bit like that line from The Low End Theory:

Back in the days when I was a teenager
Before I had status and before I had a pager

The way he leans into pager is just so clearly meant to make it sound like a big deal, but it just sounds hilarious now.

 

[Az987]

Gotta laugh at old Notorious B.I.G. Dude was one of the best ever, but:

Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis
When I was dead broke, man I couldn't picture this
50 inch screen, money green leather sofa
Got two rides, a limousine with a chauffeur​

Inflation lol, everybody got a 50 inch screen, sofa and game systems. I guess having a chauffeur is still legit.

When I was a kid I always heard 50 inch screen, leather jeans and a sofa
Got two rides a limousine with a sofa

 

[Nvzman]

"You are a virus that needs anti-biotics"
- Dred Foxx

 

[vas_a_morir]

"Kobe how my ass taste?"

OP is asking for lame lines, not legendary rhymes.

 

[PalaceBrother]

I'm a man eater. Do I look like Hall & Oates?

No.


...

Shaq does not look like Hall & Oates. Time to drop the mic.

 

[docbon]

Biggie - What's Beef?

Don't they know my nigga Gutter fuckin' kidnap kids
Fuck 'em in the ass, throw 'em over the bridge

 

[astroturfing]

walk into a club like yo what up i got a big cock

 

[spindashing]

"Worth 200 million, bicentennial n199a"-Nas

Strong words from a man who's getting sonned by the IRS and an ex wife

I knew you would come at the God's Son(tm) with some bull shit

I knew it

 

[fluffydelusions]

A 50-inch screen then probably weighed as much as his limo, but it is funny in retrospect now. A bit like that line from The Low End Theory:



The way he leans into pager is just so clearly meant to make it sound like a big deal, but it just sounds hilarious now.

Yeah I remember the 50 inch tvs in the early 90s. They were ENORMOUS!

 

[Blair]

I love Cole, but everyone of his fart/shit lines. So many.

 

[SuperHans]

Tinie Tempah - Pass out

"I’m pissed, I never got to fly on a Concorde
I've been to Southampton but I've never been to Scunthorpe
I’m fucking crazy with the kicks, call me Jean-Claude
I’m about to be a bigger star than my mum thought"

and

"I got so many clothes I keep some in my aunt's house"

 

[Robot Pants]

Ray J

 

[Vice]

"You may got more Cash than me/but you aint got the skills to eat a niggas ass like me" -Canibus, second round KO.

 

[Sickboy007]

I read the title as lamest "rap boats".

 

[-Pyromaniac-]

Canibus dissing LL Cool J. Awesome diss track but:

Well let me tell you something: you might got more cash then me
But you ain't got the skills to eat a nigga's ass like me

edit: beaten by Vice at the same time.

 

[kehs]

I was recently listening to Jedi Mind Tricks' Retaliation. It's a great aggressive rap for the most part, with one of my favorite beats of all time. However (questionable use of homophobic taunts aside), it has one glaring issue: the hook is incredibly fucking lame.



So the first two lines there are fine. These guys have steel tongues and they will destroy you in a rap battle. Sure. But what's so hard about drinking Puerto Rican rum? Is it the fact that they're drinking rum supposed to be intimidating, or the fact that they prefer rum from Puerto Rico? Is their talent on the mic matched only by their particular taste in liquor?

It's such a weird line in a song full of otherwise vicious insults and boasts. What are some other self-aggrandizing lines that fall completely flat for you?

I'm guessing it's the age thing. Kids drinking rum.


----

Not really lame, but always hilarious:

Canibus:
But you ain't got the skills to eat a nigga's ass like me

 

[Dude Abides]

In a French-ass restaurant
Hurry up with my damn croissants

 

[XANDER CAGE]

I love Cole, but everyone of his fart/shit lines. So many.

How about Travis "I Just Can't Wait to Shit On You" Scott?

 

[Dabanton]

Biggie - What's Beef?

Tbh that's a gully line.

 

[Brakke]

Secretly the best rap boast: "In the drafting of the poets I'm the number 7 pick.". Tribe Called Quest - "Oh My God". Love ya, Q-Tip.

 

[Az]

Biggie - What's Beef?

That's a crazy line though. Also, Gutta is a known street fella round NYC as far as I remember.

To contribute:
JCole's Verbal AK lines

 

[spindashing]

Canibus dissing LL Cool J. Awesome diss track but:



edit: beaten by Vice at the same time.

LMAO. YES. Awkward as fuck even back then to be honest.

"This is a hot di--what the fuck he just say?"

"..."

"This is a hot diss..."

 

[Grakl]

so many rappers like eating ass, the more you know

 

[TMONSTER]

I always crack up at P diddys line on Been around the world.

"Nigga please, I'm the macaroni with the cheese"

 

[zer0blivion]

I'm not sure if this is the lamest, or the best.

We're your need, and while I'm playing the thespian
I got a ride and you're just a pedestrian
I grab a horse and I jump like equestrian
I talk smooth like Lando Calrissian
Deal with the leader of the convoy

This is one of my favorites:

I lay more chicks than Mother Goose

Organized Rhyme - Check The O.R.

 

[The Last Emperor]

There's this one song with vado, Koell Ortiz and French Montana

Vado says something like "thank god my son sexy"

IM LIKE, what???

 

[DeaconKnowledge]

Gotta laugh at old Notorious B.I.G. Dude was one of the best ever, but:

Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis
When I was dead broke, man I couldn't picture this
50 inch screen, money green leather sofa
Got two rides, a limousine with a chauffeur​

Inflation lol, everybody got a 50 inch screen, sofa and game systems. I guess having a chauffeur is still legit.

50 inch screen in 1994 though. That was 20 years ago.

...

Damn i'm old.

 

[spindashing]

Those Juicy bars are too iconic though. Gets an instant pass from me.

 

[BlackJace]

"I eat the pussy like _________"

zzzzzzzzzz

 

[Holy Order Sol]

"I'll put my dick in yo eye, so you could SEE me coming!" - DMX

XD

 

[rokkerkory]

Most rap boasts are whack / lame

 

[A.D. Skinner]

"I get down kinda dirty like sewage."

What?

 

[BlackJace]

"She either gotta fuck me, or call me a fat crybaby" - Rick Ross

what

 

[FloatingDivider]

This song made me cringe so hard upon first listen I will remember it forever. The beat is awful too also it has Mick Jagger in the worst music featuring ever. Will.i.am's verse is a highlight in terrible incomplete punchline rap. Some choice quotes.

I'mma work hard, that's my thesis
This beat is the shit, feces

I woke up in the morning
Hard like morning wood in the morning

I go hard, statues

I wish that was the end of it, but it gets beyond hilarious when Mick Jagger drops this in the most terrible strained fashion. It's honestly on the level of magnets how do they work for me.

Hard like Geometry, and Trigonometry
This is crazy
Psychology

I'm sure Will.I.am wrote this but jagger moaning it out to an awful synth patch is honestly the highlight of this song for all the wrong reasons.
http://youtu.be/vjIwmJMqrco?t=3m40s

 

[Data West]

Gotta laugh at old Notorious B.I.G. Dude was one of the best ever, but:

Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis
When I was dead broke, man I couldn't picture this
50 inch screen, money green leather sofa
Got two rides, a limousine with a chauffeur​

Inflation lol, everybody got a 50 inch screen, sofa and game systems. I guess having a chauffeur is still legit.

Nah, still awesome. I love that line.

 

[Log4Girlz]

LL Cool J... you're right. You win this time LL, im going to enjoy eating this ass now.

 

[bobbychalkers]

Big fan of Gambino but dude has so many lines like this, especially pre-Royalty.

 

[Mesoian]

I was recently listening to Jedi Mind Tricks' Retaliation. It's a great aggressive rap for the most part, with one of my favorite beats of all time. However (questionable use of homophobic taunts aside), it has one glaring issue: the hook is incredibly fucking lame.



So the first two lines there are fine. These guys have steel tongues and they will destroy you in a rap battle. Sure. But what's so hard about drinking Puerto Rican rum? Is it the fact that they're drinking rum supposed to be intimidating, or the fact that they prefer rum from Puerto Rico? Is their talent on the mic matched only by their particular taste in liquor?

It's such a weird line in a song full of otherwise vicious insults and boasts. What are some other self-aggrandizing lines that fall completely flat for you?

"I do One Dimension numbers".

 

[FloatingDivider]

"I do One Dimension numbers".

I broke my brain trying to understand this.

 

[BlvckFox]

Lmao this thread is awesome.
Lil Wayne - Ghoulish

"Fuck Pusha T and anybody that love him
His head up his ass, ima have to head-butt him"

 

[andthebeatgoeson]

Big Sean saying he needs a spa day.

 

[jesu]

"I'm as serious as cancer when I say rhythm is a dancer"

Turbo B from Snap!