Even with BM's Lords of Chaos reputation, like every shocking subgenre, very few of the people involved really mean what they write about. It's just a mood, a setting, and for some, it's a place to let out some truly negative feelings, but there's a huge difference -- MASSIVE -- between being fixated on gore, suicide, and so on in musical or artistic terms, and actually doing it.
That said, that bridge does get crossed from time to time. I don't need to retell the exploits of the handful second wave kids who killed themselves, others, and committed other assorted crimes against people and property (notably stave churches, which were ironically heathen symbols before being taken by Christians -- why burn them down for heathen ideology?). The man behind the one-man act Endless Dismal Moan, probably my favorite Japanese BM artist, killed himself in June.
But look at other genres, filled with references to drugs, alcohol, and so forth. How many famous rock 'n roll types have died of overdoses, or alcohol-related situations? Do you have to support that if you listen to their music? Nah. Do you have to be a douchebag to listen to songs by Motley Crue, which have lyrics about the escapades of douchebags? You're more likely to be, but it isn't necessary.
The morality of black metal, or any music, is what you make of it. Some people watch Saw movies, which I can't stand. I enjoy some morbid music (although I rarely pay attention to most depressive black metal lyrics -- some of the eco slants are interesting to me, though, and I really latch on to bands that promote that sort of lyrical setting). I'm not going to kill anybody, nor do I have any desire to kill or harm myself.
I'm really sad that there aren't going to be any more Endless Dismal Moan records, though.
