This is the situation. There's a beautiful princess trapped in a castle guarded by a dragon. Here's the end of the story with different kinds of metallers...
POWER METAL:
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess, and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
THRASH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess, and fucks her.
HEAVY METAL:
The protagonist arrives on a Harley Davidson bike, kills the dragon, drinks some beers, and fucks the princess.
FOLK METAL:
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordeons, violins, flutes and many other weird instruments, the dragon falls sleep (by all the dancing), then everyone leaves....without the princess.
VIKING METAL:
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his migthy axe, cooks and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals everything in the castle, and burns the whole place before leaving.
DEATH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess, kills her, and then leaves.
BLACK METAL:
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her, and then impales her as well.
GOREGRIND:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, spreads its guts in the front of the castle, fucks the princess, and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body, slashes her belly and eats her guts.....then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
DOOM METAL:
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him. Then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as well.
PROGRESSIVE METAL:
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo for 26 minutes, the dragon kills himself out of boredom, the protagonist arrives at the princess' bedroom, plays another solo, the princess escapes looking for the Heavy Metal protagonist.
GLAM METAL:
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at his appearence and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.