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[Dead Man]

Well, between Australia being shit, and England being great, the correct (if unwanted!) result has arisen. Congrats to England, and just you wait, in 15 years we'll be back! :lol

Well the results are in. Well played England you got to say outside the 3rd test match and the first day of the opening game they pretty much outclassed Australia.

Bitterly disappointing but as alluded to in this thread there are some chronic issues within the team. I'll be interested to see what fate awaits Pointing but from his last comments, I feel like the selectors will give him the heave hoe. Despite a terrible run of form, taking a step back there was a large stretch of time he was the dominant number 3 in the game and his performances in big game situations (World cup finals) really show he had amazing ability. It will be a loss, but one sadly that needs to be made as the entire team has to rebuild.

Yeah, he was a great batsman, but should never have been made captain. Of course, I don't know who else should have, maybe Warney?

 

[Grug]

Simon Whitlock in the darts is our only remaining possibility to salvage some face in front of the mother country. :lol

Even that is a massive longshot.

 

[Salazar]

:lol

My Dad is watching tv, and just mentioned "that bogan in the darts".

 

[ItAintEasyBeinCheesy]

He's not morbidly obese enough to be a real darts player.

 

[legend166]

South Africa will have to pull out a great win if they want to beat India here.

 

[Salazar]

He's not morbidly obese enough to be a real darts player.

I don't remember why I had a pic of Andy in my account.

 

[ItAintEasyBeinCheesy]

Wank Banks always contain such strange things.

 

[Salazar]

:lol

Fuck, Cheesy. I am decapitated, somewhat.

 

[Rezbit]

Just as an aside, Pommie Mbangwa is an awesome commentator. Really easy to listen to.

 

[legend166]

South Africa get rorted by India somehow blocking the UDRS.

Get some balls, ICC.

 

[ItAintEasyBeinCheesy]

"Indian" Cricket Council wont do shit :lol

 

[legend166]

Two incorrect LBW decisions in a row.

This is why the UDRS is good.

 

[CharliePants]

What does India have against UDRS? Seems like they're the only country not using it.

 

[legend166]

What does India have against UDRS? Seems like they're the only country not using it.

Takes away their ability to use false indignation if they get some bad decisions.

 

[Yagharek]

Takes away their ability to use false indignation if they get some bad decisions.

:lol that sentence perfectly encapsulates everything wrong with the ICC/Indian cricket these days.

 

[ItAintEasyBeinCheesy]

Cameron should replace Harris i reckons. Give Beer a shot as well to see how he goes, we lost anyways so lets try some shit out.

 

[Salazar]

we lost anyways so lets try some shit out.

Admirable and sensible though this attitude is...

Well, you see where I'm going with this. The selectors ain't gonna do it.

 

[ItAintEasyBeinCheesy]

True, they will probably play Brett Lee, Alan Border and Bradmans bones. Bradmans bones will make the most runs.

 

[Dead Man]

I think I sort of want Clarke to be made captain. At least then maybe the selectors will realise how terrible he is.

 

[artist]

Takes away their ability to use false indignation if they get some bad decisions.

Keep whining :lol not using UDRS can go both ways.

Looking forward to the third test at Cape Town, unlike the dead rubber in Sydney. :lol

 

[artist]

I didnt get to catch the end of the test last night .. what kind of a celebration was this? Any context?

 

[phisheep]

I didnt get to catch the end of the test last night .. what kind of a celebration was this? Any context?

It is apparently the Sprinkler Dance

 

[artist]

It is apparently the Sprinkler Dance

Haha, thanks!

 

[Grug]

Pinky schminky.

Commence conspiracy theories.

 

[Yagharek]

Pinky schminky.

Commence conspiracy theories.

Clarke drugged him and smashed his hand with a hammer while he was passed out.

 

[Salazar]

Briefly delaying the inevitable. He should hurry into commentary with all the other mediocrities.

 

[Rezbit]

Briefly delaying the inevitable. He should hurry into commentary with all the other mediocrities.

Did you just call Ponting mediocre? Meet me somewhere!

 

[legend166]

Briefly delaying the inevitable. He should hurry into commentary with all the other mediocrities.

Funnily enough, the only mediocre player in the Channel 9 commentary box is an English captain.

Well, Mark Nicholas is below mediocre as a crickets (and commentator), but he's English too.

 

[Salazar]

Funnily enough, the only mediocre player in the Channel 9 commentary box is an English captain.

Well, Mark Nicholas is below mediocre as a crickets (and commentator), but he's English too.

Did you just call Ponting mediocre? Meet me somewhere!

They are or were all acceptably talented sportsmen. Ponting would not differ in that respect, if he joined them.

They are, however, a huddle of self-important, searingly tedious, helplessly partisan losers, with nothing interesting, amusing, elegant, cogent, or surprising to offer. Ponting has shown signs of sharing some of these characteristics during his career - which is, in large part, why I think of him as a mediocrity-in-training or in-embryo. I hope he is content to hock multi-vitamins, but I have a horrible sense that Channel 9 have it carved somewhere that any dunce of an ex-pro who is still capable of speech and feigned jocularity should be given a microphone.

Geoff Lawson belongs with them. Man is an unsteady bucket of shite. Damien Fleming's a good bloke, on the other hand.

 

[legend166]

Now you've got and insulted Richie Benaud.

Richie, Bill and Tubby are the good commentators. The rest are crap.

 

[Salazar]

Now you've got and insulted Richie Benaud.

Richie, Bill and Tubby are the good commentators. The rest are crap.

I'll give you Richie, but Bill and Tubby can fuck off. The reason for Mark Nicholas' presence has always escaped me.

 

[speedpop]

The only reason Mark Nicholas is there is to add an air of English to the arena for some strange reason.

Michael Slater and Ian Healy can fuck off. Anyone supporting their cause is as ignorant as a fucking twat asking for sausage rolls at 2am on a Saturday night.

 

[Salazar]

Michael Slater and Ian Healy can fuck off. Anyone supporting their cause is as ignorant as a fucking twat asking for sausage rolls at 2am on a Saturday night.

Off topic, I did once see a Japanese bloke order an all-day big breakfast at 5:25 pm. I had an admiring smile on my face for hours afterward.

 

[speedpop]

I once saw a white man ordering 30 springs rolls at a chinese restaurant.

 

[Salazar]

I once saw a white man ordering 30 springs rolls at a chinese restaurant.

Spring rolls vary in size, though.

As do white men, I guess.

 

[Dead Man]

I'll give you Richie, but Bill and Tubby can fuck off. The reason for Mark Nicholas' presence has always escaped me.

Lawry is comedy gold, if only for his one eyed views, but Tubby is getting better all the time. He was atrocious when he started, but now is very listenable (it's a word) to me. I think this series has been drawing out the worst of the commentary team, with them getting distracted by stupid stories of 'when I was a player'.

The only reason Mark Nicholas is there is to add an air of English to the arena for some strange reason.

Michael Slater and Ian Healy can fuck off. Anyone supporting their cause is as ignorant as a fucking twat asking for sausage rolls at 2am on a Saturday night.

Yeah, Slater is a complete waste of air.

 

[Salazar]

Lawry is comedy gold, if only for his one eyed views, but Tubby is getting better all the time. He was atrocious when he started, but now is very listenable (it's a word) to me. I think this series has been drawing out the worst of the commentary team, with them getting distracted by stupid stories of 'when I was a player'.

This is one of the principal irritations of football commentary, because the pattern or policy seems to be to have one relatively lucid bloke who never played the game—never, that is, sacrificed his education on the altar of sweaty towels—and one mug of an ex-pro who played for a middle-of-the-table outfit for maybe five or so years before exploding his cruciate. The lucid bloke defers to the mug in every respect, on every substantive question or moment in the game. This is unwise. The mug is cognitively null. The mug thinks the modern game is effeminate, that kicking knees is tactically legitimate, that—bafflingly—going a goal up puts you at risk and going a man down puts you at a psychological advantage.

Cricket commentary doesn't do my head in to quite the same degree - probably because the rhythms of test cricket put me in an incomparably serene mental haze.

 

[Grug]

Richie Benaud is incomparable. A giant amongst men. He can say more in 10 words (or sometimes well measured complete silence) than most can say in 10 minutes.

Lawry and Greig form one of the great commentary partnerships. They irritate the shit out of one another and we are all better off for it. It's not an Australian summer of cricket without them.

Annoying vocal delivery aside, Mark Taylor knows what he is talking about. One of the great tacticians.

Mark Nicholas has a penchant for overromantising things and trying to be too poetic, but he is a great steady compare who will replace Benaud when he hangs up the Cream/Ivory/Bone cardigan.

Ian Chappell is a miserable old shit who should have been pensioned off years ago.

Slats is divisive. A love him or hate him type. He has energy and enthusiasm. I find him too much of a navel gazer personally.

Healy (one of my true cricketing heros when I was younger) irritates me as a commentator. I can't exactly put in words why. He just makes me cringe sometimes. Like that annoying uncle who thinks he is much more amusing than he really is.

Warney is in the box to be a brat. He does it well. I love him.

If you want truly abysmal cricket commentary, listen to the domestic commentators on Foxtel. Abysmal.

 

[Grug]

In other news... Khawaja is in!

Welcome aboard!

Clarke skipper... ugh. It's no surprise, but... ugh.

Also would have preferred to see Copeland in instead of Bollinger.

 

[Dead Man]

Richie Benaud is incomparable. A giant amongst men. He can say more in 10 words (or sometimes well measured complete silence) than most can say in 10 minutes.

Lawry and Greig form one of the great commentary partnerships. They irritate the shit out of one another and we are all better off for it. It's not an Australian summer of cricket without them.

Annoying vocal delivery aside, Mark Taylor knows what he is talking about. One of the great tacticians.

Mark Nicholas has a penchant for overromantising things and trying to be too poetic, but he is a great steady compare who will replace Benaud when he hangs up the Cream/Ivory/Bone cardigan.

Ian Chappell is a miserable old shit who should have been pensioned off years ago.

Slats is divisive. A love him or hate him type. He has energy and enthusiasm. I find him too much of a navel gazer personally.

Healy (one of my true cricketing heros when I was younger) irritates me as a commentator. I can't exactly put in words why. He just makes me cringe sometimes. Like that annoying uncle who thinks he is much more amusing than he really is.

Warney is in the box to be a brat. He does it well. I love him.

If you want truly abysmal cricket commentary, listen to the domestic commentators on Foxtel. Abysmal.

I'll agree with all of that except Warnie. He is dismal, unfunny, and how many times does he need to remind of his nicknames for the English players? We know Shane, you called him Sherminator.

 

[Salazar]

Grug, you disappoint me.

Good news about Khawaja.

Hilarious news about Clarke. I hope some of his team-mates have the sack to tell him to get fucked.

 

[Grug]

I'll agree with all of that except Warnie. He is dismal, unfunny, and how many times does he need to remind of his nicknames for the English players? We know Shane, you called him Sherminator.

He's there to appeal to the Gen-Ys. He is there for colour as much as insight.

He's a knob. But he's our knob.

His schtick will play better in the limited overs formats.

 

[Grug]

Grug, you disappoint me.

My commentary thoughts are, like your's, just opinions.

I'm 30, so have a good 25 years of memories of watching Australian cricket summers.

You have to respect the insitutions after a while, it gets in your blood.

 

[Dead Man]

He's there to appeal to the Gen-Ys. He is there for colour as much as insight.

He's a knob. But he's our knob.

His schtick will play better in the limited overs formats.

Yeah, maybe. If I want some cricket yob to blurt out stupid shit, I've got my mates for that though! :lol

 

[Salazar]

My commentary thoughts are, like your's, just opinions.

If you tap mine, though, do they not ring with the thrummmmmmmmmmmm of wisdom ?

I'm 30, so have a good 25 years of memories of watching Australian cricket summers.

I am not quite 30, and wasted much of my youth watching Italian football.

You have to respect the insitutions after a while, it gets in your blood.

This is so plainly Stockholm Syndrome that it requires no comment—merely a composite snort/chuckle/sniff—from me.

 

[AdventureRacing]

He's there to appeal to the Gen-Ys. He is there for colour as much as insight.

He's a knob. But he's our knob.

His schtick will play better in the limited overs formats.

I think i may be in the extreme minority here but i think Warne is a great commentator. Even though he is often just joking when he is serious you can tell he has an incredible knowledge of the game.

Although his behaviour ensured this could never happen i think he could have been a great captain.

I would say my favourite commentators would have to be chappell, warne and benaud (Australians only of course). I love listenting to the commentators who actually give great insight into the game.

Most of the rest of the commentators just say stuff that is totally obvious to anyone who has watched more than 1 game of cricket in their life. That or it is completely biased (Slater for example might as well be chanting, aussie aussie aussie, it would be just as insightful).

I realise his behaviour could never have allowed it but i think he could have been one of the all time great captains if given the chance.

What a derp performance. Shows that we really have become crap and England are getting really good.

I think England is starting to get somewhat overated. I have even heard talk about this new era of Englad cricket where they can go on and dominate the world (almost word for word).

Lets face it, Australia are ranked 5th in the world for a reason and if anything the standard of cricket being dished out by the aussies has been getting worse.

Beating Australia right now isn't that big of a deal. I'm not saying England don't have some potential but i won't be getting ahead of myself.

EDIT: When this page first loaded i could only see the top of his head but i thought Simon Whitlock was Brett Lee. Am i crazy or is there some sort of resemblence there?

 

[Salazar]

I think England is starting to get somewhat overated. I have even heard talk about this new era of Englad cricket where they can go on and dominate the world (almost word for word).

Three or four genuinely great batsmen, one fine spinner and one good one, a batch of young and more than capable pace bowlers. Cause for mild optimism. Anything more than mild optimism where sport, and especially cricket, is concerned is just straight-up irremediably stupid anyway. Prediction is idle.

I will miss Freddie until I die, though. As great as this series victory was, I don't think the Freddie Ashes can be topped.

 

[Dead Man]

I think i may be in the extreme minority here but i think Warne is a great commentator. Even though he is often just joking when he is serious you can tell he has an incredible knowledge of the game.

Although his behaviour ensured this could never happen i think he could have been a great captain.

I would say my favourite commentators would have to be chappell, warne and benaud (Australians only of course). I love listenting to the commentators who actually give great insight into the game.

I think he could be a great commentator, if he would stop playing the character of Warnie. As you say, his knowledge of cricket is immense, he just enjoys playing the fool too much. I think Chappeli is a good commentator, but such a dick about things he is sometimes difficult to listen to without wanting to punch him in the face.

 

[Salazar]

If it is permissible to recommend cricket books in this thread -

If anybody reading this hasn't read Ramachandra Guha's A Corner of a Foreign Field: A Social History of Indian Cricket, then your life is—even from a distance, even through the internet—discernibly the poorer. Extraordinary book. I'm about to start my reread.

 

[Grug]

This is so plainly Stockholm Syndrome that it requires no comment—merely a composite snort/chuckle/sniff—from me.

Dude, nothing wrong with differing on our opinions of particular commentators. It's purely subjective.

Trying to introduce base-level pop psychology into it is just a ridiculous leap. Quite an unendearing one as well, and more than a little condescending to boot.