The Random Recipe Generator ( Mmm Mmm Pizza style Raisins...wait...)

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shaowebb

shaowebb

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This thing is absolutely fucked. Post your results.

The Random Recipe Generator

Here are some of my results so far.

Random Recipe Generator said:
RANDOM RECIPE GENERATOR RESULTS
http://jamesoff.net/site/fun/random-recipe-generator/
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Tomato Ketchup With Cream Crust
Serves 3
You will need:
• 130ml cream
• 140ml tomato ketchup
Instructions:
1. toast the tomato ketchup
2. fry the cream
3. throw it all away
Click to expand...

Random Recipe Generator said:
Spicy Sugar Cakes
Serves 4
You will need:
• 3 chillis
• 30g sugar
• 90g toffee
• 40ml brandy
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 210 C
2. toast the chillis
3. spoon the chillis onto a warmed plate
4. spoon the chillis onto a warmed plate
5. grind the chillis
6. stir-fry the sugar
7. slice the toffee
8. heat the toffee
9. stir-fry the brandy
10. bake for 80 minutes and serve hot
Yum.
Click to expand...

Random Recipe Generator said:
Pork Chops With Pork Chops Crust
Serves 1
You will need:
• 2 pork chops
• 1 lettuces
• 1 packets of dry onion soup mix
• 100ml lemon juice
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 220 C
2. whisk the pork chops
3. saute the pork chops
4. add the pork chops
5. flip the pork chops
6. fold in the pork chops
7. simmer the pork chops gently for 20 minutes
8. grill the lettuces
9. throw the lettuces away
10. melt the pork chops
11. throw the packets of dry onion soup mix away
12. grill the lemon juice
13. bake for 30 minutes and serve hot
Yum.
---------------------
Click to expand...

Random Recipe Generator said:
Pizza Style Raisins
Serves 1
You will need:
• 120g raisins
• 30g chocolate
• 2 mangoes
• 140g plain flour
• 80g cheese
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 180 C
2. stir-fry the cheese
3. whisk the cheese
4. discard the raisins
5. sprinkle the cheese over the top
6. heat the cheese in the saucepan
7. discard the cheese
8. fry the mangoes
9. add one tablespoon of the mangoes
10. sprinkle the mangoes over the top
11. discard the mangoes
12. sauté the chocolate
13. sprinkle the chocolate over the top
14. melt the chocolate
15. microwave the plain flour
16. bake for 90 minutes and serve hot
Yum.
Click to expand...
 
Random Recipe Generator said:
Pizza Style Tabasco Sauce
Serves 3
You will need:

50ml tabasco sauce
50ml greek yogurt
5 sheets of ricepaper
5 eggs

Instructions:

fry the greek yogurt
simmer the greek yogurt gently for 20 minutes
barbeque the sheets of ricepaper
throw the tabasco sauce away
saut� the sheets of ricepaper
mix the greek yogurt in
saute the sheets of ricepaper
put the eggs in the saucepan
throw it all away

Yum.
Click to expand...

What the...?
 
This is ridiculous. Ima go fry up some wine!

Grilled White Wine
Serves 2
You will need:

* 40ml white wine
* 4 leeks
* 110g cornflour
* 130g beef
* 2 oysters

Instructions:

1. grill the white wine
2. fry the white wine
3. discard the beef
4. whisk the white wine
5. stir the white wine
6. simmer the white wine gently for 20 minutes
7. fry the leeks
8. grill the cornflour
9. heat the leeks in the saucepan
10. toast the oysters
11. put everything in the blender

Yum.
Click to expand...
 
This site is amazing, has me in tears as well.

Butter With Mince Crust
Serves 1
You will need:

- 40g mince
- 60g butter

Instructions:

1. pre-heat the oven to 210 C
2. fry the mince until browned
3. discard the mince
4. throw the butter away
5. bake for 80 minutes and serve hot

Yum.
Click to expand...
 
Tears.
Apple Sauce Soup
Serves 3
You will need:
40ml apple sauce
3 bananas
90g mince
150ml whipped cream
3 onions
Instructions:
pre-heat the oven to 180 C
rinse the bananas
discard the bananas
microwave the mince
microwave the onions
flip the mince
saut� the onions
eat the mince
put the onions in the fridge to set
stir the onions
grill the whipped cream
fry the whipped cream
microwave the whipped cream
put the apple sauce in the saucepan
bake for 40 minutes and serve hot
Yum.
Click to expand...
 
Soy Sauce Tart
Serves 3

You will need:
60g anchovies
10g chocolate
140ml water
80ml soy sauce
130ml white wine

Instructions:
1. eat the anchovies
2. barbeque the chocolate
3. barbeque the water
4. grill the white wine
5. barbeque the soy sauce
6. order out
Yum.
Click to expand...

Probably a good idea.
Also not sure how to barbeque all those liquids.
 
Rice Surprise
Serves 3
You will need:

80ml milk
20g sprouts
60g rice
5 slices of bread

Instructions:

pre-heat the oven to 230 C
barbeque the milk
rinse the slices of bread
put the slices of bread in the fridge for 2 minutes
grind the slices of bread
throw the sprouts away
discard the rice
bake for 50 minutes and serve hot
Click to expand...

Pizza Style Slices Of Bread
Serves 1
You will need:

3 oxo cubes
1 lamb chops
1 slices of bread

Instructions:

pre-heat the oven to 210 C
fry the slices of bread until browned
whisk the slices of bread
toast the lamb chops
barbeque the oxo cubes
bake for 70 minutes and serve hot
Click to expand...


Haha
 
Slices Of Bread Sandwich
Serves 4
You will need:

  • 4 pork chops
  • 2 slices of bread
  • 4 courgettes

Instructions:

  • pre-heat the oven to 230 C
  • fry the slices of bread
  • stir-fry the courgettes
  • put the slices of bread in the fridge to set
  • add one tablespoon of the courgettes
  • heat the slices of bread in the saucepan
  • lightly fry the courgettes
  • slice the pork chops
  • bake for 60 minutes and serve hot

Yum.
Click to expand...

Slices of bread as a sandwich? Genius.
 
Spiced Poached Lemon Juice
Serves 1
You will need:

60ml lemon juice
120g pickle

Instructions:

defrost the pickle
saute the pickle
eat the lemon juice
throw it all away

Yum.
Click to expand...

hmm, fair enough.
 
Chocolate Stew
Serves 1
You will need:

30ml soy sauce
5 prawns
150g chocolate
130ml coffee

Instructions:

slice the prawns
sauté the coffee
flambe the prawns
saute the coffee
add the coffee to the saucepan
heat the prawns
flip the coffee
fry the soy sauce until browned
slice the chocolate
serve piping hot
Click to expand...
I'm not sure how you're supposed to do that...
 
Below is a randomly-generated recipe!

Soft Cheese And Soft Cheese Pudding
Serves 4
You will need:
120ml tomato ketchup
10ml white wine
130ml greek yogurt
120g soft cheese
110ml exotic sauce
Instructions:
pre-heat the oven to 220 C
toast the tomato ketchup
put the soft cheese in the saucepan
sauté the exotic sauce
microwave the greek yogurt
add the exotic sauce to the saucepan
put the tomato ketchup in the fridge for 2 minutes
fry the white wine
bake for 60 minutes and serve hot
Yum.
Click to expand...

Yum indeed.
 
Random Recipe Generator said:
Rice Sandwich
Serves 3
You will need:

* 4 sweetcorn
* 90g rice
* 3 lamb chops
* 2 cabbages
* 150g chocolate

Instructions:

1. pre-heat the oven to 200 C
2. whisk the chocolate
3. heat the chocolate
4. lightly fry the chocolate
5. whisk the chocolate
6. add one tablespoon of the chocolate
7. discard the chocolate
8. fry the cabbages until browned
9. fry the lamb chops until browned
10. melt the lamb chops
11. sprinkle the lamb chops over the top
12. melt the cabbages
13. grind the cabbages
14. sauté the rice
15. saute the cabbages
16. sauté the sweetcorn
17. bake for 30 minutes and serve hot

Yum.
Click to expand...

That's good eating.

Random Recipe Generator said:
Sugar Sandwich
Serves 4
You will need:

* 130ml white wine vinegar
* 130g sugar

Instructions:

1. sauté the white wine vinegar
2. barbeque the sugar
3. serve chilled

Yum.
Click to expand...

Two quality meals, don't know how everyone else is getting such random recipes.
 
Baked Basmati Rice
Serves 5

You will need:
70g basmati rice
3 sprigs of asparagus

Instructions:
sift the basmati rice
add one tablespoon of the basmati rice
barbeque the sprigs of asparagus
enjoy
Click to expand...

glad i only need one tablespoon of the rice, i can't imagine there would be much of it left after going through the sifter
 
Red Wine Creme Brulee
Serves 1
You will need:
5 sweetcorn
40ml red wine
3 slices of bread
60g ham
Instructions:
grill the ham
barbeque the slices of bread
sauté the sweetcorn
stir the slices of bread
fry the red wine
go down the pub
Yum.
Click to expand...

It almost sounds possible from the title, but then goes downhill.
 
Now I know where Sandra Lee gets her recipes.

Random Recipe Generator said:
Water And Water Pudding
Serves 2
You will need:
30ml water
90g toffee
Instructions:
pre-heat the oven to 190 C
microwave the toffee
fry the water
bake for 40 minutes and serve hot
Click to expand...
 
Muesli Supreme
Serves 4
You will need:

100ml horseradish sauce
50g muesli
4 spoons of mayonnaise

Instructions:

pre-heat the oven to 220 C
sift the horseradish sauce
stir-fry the muesli
heat the horseradish sauce
add the horseradish sauce
fry the spoons of mayonnaise
bake for 60 minutes and serve hot
Click to expand...
I threw up in my mouth a little.
 
Random Recipe Generator said:
Chocolate Pie
Serves 4
You will need:

50g chocolate
40ml brandy
4 chillis
2 sausages
140g plain flour

Instructions:

pre-heat the oven to 200 C
fry the sausages
rinse the chocolate
discard the chocolate
barbeque the brandy
sift the plain flour
fry the chillis until browned
bake for 20 minutes and serve hot

Yum.
Click to expand...


Spock_wtf.gif
 
Port Compote
Serves 1
You will need:

* 120g port
* 5 chillis

Instructions:

1. grill the port
2. stir the port
3. flambe the port
4. saute the port
5. mix the port in
6. toast the chillis
7. go down the pub

Yum.
Click to expand...

nice.
 
My favorite is when it has you discard things you never even used, or when it tells you to just eat some ingredient.

Man, these are hilarious :P

Cornflour Surprise
Serves 5

You will need:
  • 80g pasta
  • 140ml lemon juice
  • 5 packets of dry onion soup mix
  • 60g raisins
  • 150g cornflour


Instructions:
  1. pre-heat the oven to 210 C
  2. discard the pasta
  3. rinse the cornflour
  4. stir-fry the packets of dry onion soup mix
  5. sauté the raisins
  6. spoon the raisins onto a warmed plate
  7. discard the lemon juice
  8. bake for 80 minutes and serve hot
Click to expand...
 
Lime Supreme
Serves 5
You will need:

30g sugar
60g chocolate
120g toffee
4 lime

Instructions:

microwave the chocolate
throw the lime away
saute the chocolate
put the chocolate in the fridge to set
throw the chocolate away
put the sugar in the saucepan
lightly fry the sugar
heat the sugar
heat the sugar
whisk the toffee
put everything in the blender

Yum.
 
Strawberries With Strawberries Crust
Serves 2

You will need:
40ml water
100g strawberries

Instructions:
rinse the strawberries
eat the strawberries
throw the water away
throw it all away

Yum.
Click to expand...
Or: How to eat strawberries.
 
Lemons With Spoons Of Mayonnaise Mash
Serves 3
You will need:

5 spoons of mayonnaise
3 lemons
70g mushrooms (???)

Instructions:

sift the spoons of mayonnaise
fry the lemons until browned
saute the spoons of mayonnaise
add the lemons to the saucepan
heat the spoons of mayonnaise
grill the mushrooms
put everything in the blender

Yum.
Click to expand...
Fucking gross :lol
 
Vinegar Mille Feuille
Serves 5

You will need:
60g iceberg lettuce
10ml vinegar
80ml soy sauce

Instructions:
pre-heat the oven to 220 C
defrost the vinegar
add one tablespoon of the vinegar
rinse the soy sauce
microwave the soy sauce
sift the iceberg lettuce
bake for 60 minutes and serve hot

Yum.
Click to expand...

Vinegar, lettuce, soy sauce? Sounds edible at least. Especially since the soy sauce is 'rinsed' before it's used. Only 1 tablespoon of vinegar. This is basically just lettuce.

:lol at the strawberries one above.
 
Baked Butter
Serves 4

You will need:
  • 70g butter
  • 110g ginger
  • 2 oysters
  • 30g cornflour

Instructions:
  1. pre-heat the oven to 200 C
  2. grill the oysters
  3. microwave the oysters
  4. slice the cornflour
  5. heat the cornflour in the saucepan
  6. stir the oysters
  7. sauté the ginger
  8. eat the butter
  9. bake for 80 minutes and serve hot
Click to expand...

Yum.

Horseradish Sauce Surprise
Serves 5

You will need:
  • 70ml soy sauce
  • 140ml horseradish sauce

Instructions:
  1. pre-heat the oven to 210 C
  2. discard the horseradish sauce
  3. throw the soy sauce away
  4. bake for 70 minutes and serve hot
Click to expand...

Hmm...
 
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