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[Vermillion]

http://gawker.com/the-reality-of-dating-white-women-when-youre-black-1585401039

That's why you hear references to white girls next to signifiers of wealth on recent hits like Chris Brown's "Loyal" or Wiz Khalifa's "We Dem Boyz." To invoke Kanye again, he said "champagne wishes, 30 white bitches" on the best-reviewed album of this decade. White women are sadly some type of trophy and marker of success, and that's a huge fucking problem. As a black man, it invalidates the authenticity of any relationships I have with white women. It's depressingly superficial and it's dangerous. This ideal is why Elliot Rodger felt he had a right to start shooting—because he couldn't get a white woman to go with his BMW.

This quote is particularly poignant.

 

[R10Neymarfan]

Is it February yet?

 

[Valhelm]

I don't know if the Elliot Rodgers reference is really relevant at all. He wasn't Black. He identified as Eurasian, as his father was white and his mother was Chinese. He was pretty well-entrenched in white culture, and while he had a bias against blonde women, I don't think he felt more entitled to white women than any other race.

 

[Vermillion]

I don't know if the Elliot Rodgers reference is really relevant at all. He wasn't Black. He identified as Eurasian, as his father was white and his mother was Chinese. He was pretty well-entrenched in white culture, and while he had a bias against blonde women, I don't think he felt more entitled to white women than any other race.

I'd have to disagree:

"How could an inferior, ugly black boy be able to get a white girl and not me?"

 

[entremet]

I don't know if the Elliot Rodgers reference is really relevant at all. He wasn't Black. He identified as Eurasian, as his father was white and his mother was Chinese. He was pretty well-entrenched in white culture, and while he had a bias against blonde women, I don't think he felt more entitled to white women than any other race.

The point is that culturally there's a bias that Caucasian women are the top of the beauty heap and even a mentally ill misogynist like Rodger held that view.

 

[……forgetit]

Only a bit in, but I agree so far, as a black man in a long standing relationship with a white woman, I get sick of the idea that "I only date white women," no, I date this particular white woman because we had a great friendship that turned into a relationship. Is it that strange to see someone who just dates whoever the fuck they want without factoring race?

 

[Crimsonclaw111]

Only a bit in, but I agree so far, as a black man in a long standing relationship with a white woman, I get sick of the idea that "I only date white women," no, I date this particular white woman because we had a great friendship that turned into a relationship. Is it that strange to see someone who just dates whoever the fuck they want without factoring race?

Same problem here, my gf is black, I'm white. I have jungle fever apparently.

edit: well not same problem, but some parallels. It's irritating.

 

[collige]

I don't know if the Elliot Rodgers reference is really relevant at all. He wasn't Black. He identified as Eurasian, as his father was white and his mother was Chinese. He was pretty well-entrenched in white culture, and while he had a bias against blonde women, I don't think he felt more entitled to white women than any other race.

He most certainly did.

 

[Kieli]

Reading this and a few of the first posts is really weird precisely because I don't want to date my own race.

It's unfair to sweep an entire segment of anything, I know, but I can't help it.

 

[Vermillion]

Reading this and a few of the first posts is really weird precisely because I don't want to date my own race.

It's unfair to sweep an entire segment of anything, I know, but I can't help it.

Why not?

 

[SolKane]

I don't generally read Gawker, but it was a pretty well formed article.

I don't know if the Elliot Rodgers reference is really relevant at all. He wasn't Black. He identified as Eurasian, as his father was white and his mother was Chinese. He was pretty well-entrenched in white culture, and while he had a bias against blonde women, I don't think he felt more entitled to white women than any other race.

It makes more sense in the context of the whole article, because he mentions Elliot Rodgers earlier.

 

[Valhelm]

The point is that culturally there's a bias that Caucasian women are the top of the beauty heap and even a mentally ill misogynist like Rodger held that view.

You're right, that's totally true.

 

[caesar]

The point is that culturally there's a bias that Caucasian women are the top of the beauty heap and even a mentally ill misogynist like Rodger held that view.

Yup, he posted on the misc as well. Which is a pretty sad place if you take it seriously.

Just go on the misc and the girls they think are hot all look pretty much the same, white and fit.

 

[……forgetit]

Same problem here, my gf is black, I'm white. I have jungle fever apparently.

edit: well not same problem, but some parallels. It's irritating.

Similar enough, feel for you man

 

[striferser]

The point is that culturally there's a bias that Caucasian women are the top of the beauty heap and even a mentally ill misogynist like Rodger held that view.

This is sad.

 

[block tower]

The point is that culturally there's a bias that Caucasian women are the top of the beauty heap and even a mentally ill misogynist like Rodger held that view.

thats because of western media. white women are held in high esteem when it comes to beauty because of a false narrative being perpetrated through western media. theres this narrative, especially on television, that all white women are inherently beautiful because a lot of the white women who flood television shows and film are beautiful. there's very few times you turn on a television and see unattractive white women, and if you do it's usually footage of everyday people or comic relief characters on sitcoms. but then on the flip side, most women of other ethnicities aren't always cast with that same specificity of beauty. often times you'll see less attractive non-white women cast alongside attractive white women giving this subtext that non-white women must not be as pretty as white women. meanwhile there are just as many attractive non-white women in the world, but they aren't given this constant exposure in the media like white women; or if they are its usually the same big name actresses or musicians appearing in media as examples of beautiful non-white women . it's this constant misrepresentation that makes it seem like white women are the pinnacle of beauty and all women of other ethnicities come up short. its quite irritating but something you definitely notice.

 

[entremet]

You're right, that's totally true.

Look at Maxim Hot 100. But also look at women's magazines covers. They may throw a bone to non-Caucasian women from time to time--like a Beyonce or Rihanna, but it's a rare thing.

thats because of western media. white women are held in high esteem when it comes to beauty because of a false narrative being perpetrated through western media. theres this narrative, especially on television, that all white women are inherently beautiful because a lot of the white women who flood television shows and film are beautiful. there's very few times you turn on a television and see unattractive white women, and if you do it's usually footage of everyday people or comic relief characters on sitcoms. but then on the flip side, most women of other ethnicities aren't always cast with that same specificity of beauty. often times you'll see less attractive non-white women cast alongside attractive white women giving this subtext that non-white women must not be as pretty as white women. meanwhile there are just as many attractive non-white women in the world, but they aren't given this constant exposure in the media like white women; or if they are its usually the same big name actresses or musicians appearing in media as examples of beautiful non-white women . it's this constant misrepresentation that makes it seem like white women are the pinnacle of beauty and all women of other ethnicities come up short. its quite irritating but something you definitely notice.

I agree.

Magazines and media are sampling the genetic lottery winners, which is not accurate for the whole population, but pervades this supremacists narrative.

 

[akira28]

Some men get upset. They want that trophy and we're stealing them. We're stealing their trophies. Never felt that way about women before until someone of another race was interested in them. It's almost like some caveman competition shit.

 

[anarckitty]

I think if I were a white man, I would probably prefer a Latina or Spanish beauty.

 

[soul creator]

random sidenote, but for the longest time, I had no idea whether it was "30" or "dirty". I blame RZA

 

[block tower]

Look at Maxim Hot 100. But also look at women's magazines covers. They may through a bone to non-Caucasian women from time to time--like a Beyonce or Rihanna, but it's a rare thing.


I agree.

Magazines and media are sampling the genetic lottery winners, which is not accurate for the whole population, but pervades this supremacists narrative.

exactly my point, its selective bias. was looking over Maxims Hot 100 with my gf and she was in disgust that it was mainly just white women. not saying there's anything wrong with being a white women, but the amount of bias in that list makea it seem as if hot women from other ethnicities are in short supply or something, it's bizarre. why not just call the list Maxims Hot 100 white women lol. i think the list had maybe less than ten latin and african women and non of which i think cracked the top ten.

 

[Elija2]

The point is that culturally there's a bias that Caucasian women are the top of the beauty heap and even a mentally ill misogynist like Rodger held that view.

Yeah, but what does that have anything to do with how people perceive interracial relationships between a black man and a white woman?

EDIT: Never mind, I think I understand the connection.

 

[Boom Boom Pow]

I think if I were a white man, I would probably prefer a Latina or Spanish beauty.

spanish is still white.

 

[MercuryLS]

I deal with the same bullshit being a brown male dating mostly white women. I get flack from brown women that I've "abandoned my race and I'm looking for a trophy white woman". Fuck off. Preferences are preferences, I mostly date white women because I find them to be the most attractive women overall (I'm not sure if this is Eurocentric brainwashing or just an inbuilt preference, probably a bit of both). One thing I do know is that this isn't about betraying my race (I'm quite proud of my south asian heritage) or looking for a trophy white woman wife/gf. People need to fuck right off and let people date/marry whoever they want.

 

[RockTurtle]

spanish is still white.

Not necesseraly. I've met many a Hispanic fresh off the plane who have trouble filing out documents and wondering what the race checkbox was about (white black? I'm Honduran!)

 

[Kieli]

Why not?

For irrational reasons, really. I despise certain aspects of my culture and I unfairly project it to other people.

 

[Vermillion]

For irrational reasons, really. I despise certain aspects of my culture and I unfairly project it to other people.

Well, if you know what the issue is...

Think of it this way - many people of another race may apply the same things to you. And you know you're not like that.

 

[Prologue]

I'm dating a black girl and i'm spanish (you wouldn't think so unless i mentioned my last name). I like our mixture.


We were walking downtown one day though and a guy selling tickets looked at me and said "My man! dating a black girl! way to go!!" I laughed.

 

[anarckitty]

spanish is still white.

ok

 

[GuitarAtomik]

Can definitely relate to the article. I feel like it covered the bases pretty well.

 

[R3TRO]

That was actually a good read, I can relate.

 

[Future PhaZe]

I'm intimately aware of the subject matter

but brevity bruh, brevity

you doin too much

 

[Kieli]

Well, if you know what the issue is...

Think of it this way - many people of another race may apply the same things to you. And you know you're not like that.

Agreed. But I'm not going to look extra hard to find her, though.

 

[Vermillion]

Agreed. But I'm not going to look extra hard to find her, though.

I mean, just keep it in mind while you date.

 

[rudieboy77]

Mmmm when will get to the point where we look at a man and ask why he will only date women?

 

[Dereck]

spanish is still white.

ok

lol

 

[Boom Boom Pow]

Not necesseraly. I've met many a Hispanic fresh off the plane who have trouble filing out documents and wondering what the race checkbox was about (white black? I'm Honduran!)

I think you're confusing hispanic and spanish. hispanic -> descendent of spanish settlers in Latin America. I.e., latinos.

Spanish = People who are from Spain

 

[Hypemaster]

Only a bit in, but I agree so far, as a black man in a long standing relationship with a white woman, I get sick of the idea that "I only date white women," no, I date this particular white woman because we had a great friendship that turned into a relationship. Is it that strange to see someone who just dates whoever the fuck they want without factoring race?

Have to explain this to my family every time I date a non-black woman. It's ridiculous.

 

[CornBurrito]

Mmmm when will get to the point where we look at a man and ask why he will only date women?

Are you suggesting we will somehow develop into a culture that expects bisexuality is the norm? Why?

 

[valeo]

I don't know if the Elliot Rodgers reference is really relevant at all. He wasn't Black. He identified as Eurasian, as his father was white and his mother was Chinese. He was pretty well-entrenched in white culture, and while he had a bias against blonde women, I don't think he felt more entitled to white women than any other race.

Protip: read the entire article before forming an opinion of it.

 

[highrider]

I understand the caucasian/western beauty ideal of popular culture, but i don't see this in my world really. Black women have the same level of beauty and status to me.


Edit/ whie guy married to black woman for 10 years with a mixed race son. I get that It's a thing to a lot of people, but when you connect with someone none of that shit matters. People are attracted to people of other races. It's crazy!

 

[Bloodrage]

spanish is still white.

Spanish from Europe or Hispanic? I'm both. Does that mean I'm actually half white/half Hispanic? What are Hispanics? Half black/half white? Does that mean I'm allowed to say I'm part black?

 

[Vermillion]

Have to explain this to my family every time I date a non-black woman. It's ridiculous.

I'm sorry, but every time I see your avatar, I wonder if you're here to kill FreeMufasa.

 

[God Dayumm]

I think if I were a white man, I would probably prefer a Latina or Spanish beauty.

What currently impedes you from preferring a hispanic person?

 

[Mesousa]

Thing is its only viewed as a "problem" at large when black men do it. Latinos and Asians can chase white women all day and everyone is quiet, a black man does it and they have armchair psychologists called in trying to diagnose him with self hate or whatever.

It's simply racism against black men on the part of society.

 

[Boom Boom Pow]

Spanish from Europe or Hispanic? I'm both. Does that mean I'm actually half white/half Hispanic? What are Hispanics? Half black/half white? Does that mean I'm allowed to say I'm part black?

see above. why would you ever say spanish if you're hispanic?

 

[Valhelm]

Look at Maxim Hot 100. But also look at women's magazines covers. They may throw a bone to non-Caucasian women from time to time--like a Beyonce or Rihanna, but it's a rare thing.

I think it's telling that when a Hot 100 list has four or five Black women, they're entertainers. Their success is independent of their attractiveness. Most white women are just models or even instagrammers.

 

[Kinyou]

What's with the jump to Elliot Roger? Did the race of the women matter to him?

Edit: oh, already answered

 

[Valkerionseven]

But seriously it is a problem and I'm kinda glad "our" generation is aware of the history, and "ramifications" it causes in the community so to speak when we date outside our race. My brother is married to a white girl, they just had a kid less than a year ago and my parents and general family seem more than ok with it. Her side of the family gives no shits either (hippy as fuck...) Not sure the kinds of talks my mom and brother had but the first time I said I had a girl coming over for a bit before we went out for the night, in high school btw, the first question I got was "sooo.... what race is she?"

I was pretty surprised to say the least since my family is pretty mixed in general. Maybe she was curious, maybe she knows the local Filipino chicks have me on speed dial or something and she wants a little asian baby to take care of, I dunno. But it was weird.

Either way I hate to say it but yeah... alot of those things in the article and thread do roll around in your mind a bit as a black male, or any one dating outside their race. Maybe more so depending where you live cough cough I live in freaking Georgia. Actually crazy story time. I was in my Junior Bio Lab, had this super cute white girl who I sat next to and was my lab partner. We really friendly and super flirty, apparently her stalker did not like it and was super passive aggressive racist about it. So much to the point that the Professor told his ass to leave haha. But the connotation that if you date outside your race, that is your preference is way to ingrained in people.

If I had a choice I'd date rich big booty and tits Colombian chicks, but fate has not delivered on that front yet so I settle for being super cute and not having a shitty personality no matter what color her skin is.

 

[rudieboy77]

Are you suggesting we will somehow develop into a culture that expects bisexuality is the norm? Why?

No my statement was supposed to be as ridiculous as asking a black man why he only dates white women. Be with who you want.