Support NeoGAF

[Loakum]

This is my nephew, Indian + Danish mix.


Mixed kids are the cutest.

adorable! ^_^

 

[Loomba]

I'm brown and only dated white women, do I count?

Although Nicki Minaj is my perfect woman, funny that huh.

 

[SillyEskimo]

My wife is Japanese and no one has ever said shit to me.

 

[Massive Duck. C.M.]

My wife is Japanese and no one has ever said shit to me.

Why would they

That's been common for around 70 years, and never been taboo

 

[BocoDragon]

My wife is Japanese and no one has ever said shit to me.

White guy? White guy and asian woman is probably the least frictional interracial pairing on the planet. I don't think you can gauge the pressures other inter-ethnic couples face from that experience.

 

[animus82]

thats because of western media. white women are held in high esteem when it comes to beauty because of a false narrative being perpetrated through western media. theres this narrative, especially on television, that all white women are inherently beautiful because a lot of the white women who flood television shows and film are beautiful. there's very few times you turn on a television and see unattractive white women, and if you do it's usually footage of everyday people or comic relief characters on sitcoms. but then on the flip side, most women of other ethnicities aren't always cast with that same specificity of beauty. often times you'll see less attractive non-white women cast alongside attractive white women giving this subtext that non-white women must not be as pretty as white women. meanwhile there are just as many attractive non-white women in the world, but they aren't given this constant exposure in the media like white women; or if they are its usually the same big name actresses or musicians appearing in media as examples of beautiful non-white women . it's this constant misrepresentation that makes it seem like white women are the pinnacle of beauty and all women of other ethnicities come up short. its quite irritating but something you definitely notice.

Well said. This guy knows what he is talking about. How can a person (male) of any ethnicity grow up in this nation and not find white women the pinnacle of beauty and desire one for himself? We are constantly bombarded in every way of their superiority.

I'm middle eastern and don't find middle eastern girls that pretty or desirable. My dad tries to hook me up but I don't put effort into getting to know these girls.

 

[BocoDragon]

I certainly never internalized any programming that implied white women are supposed to be prized above women of other ethnicities... They're just another choice amongst many. Oh, but I'm white.

Maybe for minorities, scoring a white woman has connotations of "making it" in a white-dominant nation?

In any case, as a white guy, I have nothing but good will when I see a white woman with someone of another ethnicity. Nor would the situation need my approval anyway... they are not "my" women.

 

[MWS Natural]

My wife is Japanese and no one has ever said shit to me.

Did I miss the era where Japanese people were lynched and murdered for even fraternizing with white people?

There is historical context to the Black Male - White Female relationship that people seem to keep forgetting about.

 

[The Lamonster]

There are a lot of concerning issues with rap culture, as there has always been. It's nice to see this particular one brought to light though.

 

[GuitarAtomik]

yet another articular talking about what black males "should and shouldn't be doing "

here is some perspective on the "issue of interracial dating / marriage" I'm black, my mother married a white guy what I was in grade school. from the point at which the students found out I was picked on ,bullied , teased relentlessly by the black student body , mostly black females. I literally sat by my self at lunch for years ,"don't talk to him , he has a white father" , "your mother is sick!", this happened up until high school were I learned to hide that information away from people.

now that I'm an adult , again black females just want to know if I "date white girls ?". This shit comes up in small talk all the time because I'm "well spoken". So the fuck what if I date them or not.

Do what fucking makes you happy. fuck what everyone else thinks. "self hating black man " my ass.

The article OP links doesn't even talk about people who do such, it's strictly just an assumption that a black dude dating a white chick is dating her because it's a status symbol and quotes Ye lyrics as some kind of "proof".

Pseudo intellectual BS at it's finest. Cats who don't date their own, honestly I can't begin to worry about their numerous issues when I have my own. Though to be honest I don't really give a damn about self loathing people much at all anyway.

I can't tell if you guys just completely misunderstood the article, or if I'm completely misunderstanding your posts.

• The article uses "self hating black man" as an example of the people who make the situation worse. He's not saying every guy that dates exclusively outside their race is self hating.
• His WHOLE article is about how his dating a white girl has nothing to do with the trophy status. Just that he understands where the sentiment comes from (Ye lyrics as an example).
• Not sure where the "should and should not be doing" part is in reference to.

Or do you guys agree with the article and I'm completely misinterpreting your posts?

 

[MercuryLS]

My wife is Japanese and no one has ever said shit to me.

It usually has to do with coloured men dating white women, When it's a white guy with a coloured woman, people don't have much of an issue with it. I honestly believe a lot of the criticism comes from other white men (they're stealing our women) or salty women of colour.

 

[DoktorEvil]

I can't tell if you guys just completely misunderstood the article, or if I'm completely misunderstanding your posts.

• The article uses "self hating black man" as an example of the people who make the situation worse. He's not saying every guy that dates exclusively outside their race is self hating.
• His WHOLE article is about how his dating a white girl has nothing to do with the trophy status. Just that he understands where the sentiment comes from (Ye lyrics as an example).
• Not sure where the "should and should not be doing" part is in reference to.

Or do you guys agree with the article and I'm completely misinterpreting your posts?

It wasn't an article. It was an op-ed piece.

There's no speck of research done here to validate his argument.

The writer gave his own opinion and insecurities of how he felt about personal anecdotal interracial relationships. Not everyone feels the same way as he does.

 

[Syriel]

I deal with the same bullshit being a brown male dating mostly white women. I get flack from brown women that I've "abandoned my race and I'm looking for a trophy white woman". Fuck off. Preferences are preferences, I mostly date white women because I find them to be the most attractive women overall (I'm not sure if this is Eurocentric brainwashing or just an inbuilt preference, probably a bit of both). One thing I do know is that this isn't about betraying my race (I'm quite proud of my south asian heritage) or looking for a trophy white woman wife/gf. People need to fuck right off and let people date/marry whoever they want.

Flip it around (white guy dating a black girl) and you'll get the same reaction.

This was mid 90's Maryland for grade school. The amount of hate that's spewed from my own race is sick.

Even the whole notion of this article shows this is an issue only when black males do it. When a black female dose it she's seen a well rounded progressive woman. With black males its seen as a "Status symbol". It's not even pointed out that the man finds the woman interesting or even loves the woman.

Personal experience on my end would disagree with that. I've dated women of different races and skin tones over the years. The only times I've ever gotten random flack from strangers was from other black women when we were out. It was a small number, but enough to be noticeable.

I'd be curious to see a thread on GAF about any white males dating/married to black women and see what kind of reactions they've gotten over the years.

It's not a thread, but see my responses above. I've never limited my attraction by race (smart, funny, beautiful women are hot no matter what the color of their skin), but have gotten snarky comments before, though that's only happened when it was a white/black pairing. Other friends of mine have said they experienced the same. It doesn't really seem to matter which side is male/female. If you have a black/white pairing, someone is going to not like it which is sad.

Well said. This guy knows what he is talking about. How can a person (male) of any ethnicity grow up in this nation and not find white women the pinnacle of beauty and desire one for himself? We are constantly bombarded in every way of their superiority.

I'm middle eastern and don't find middle eastern girls that pretty or desirable. My dad tries to hook me up but I don't put effort into getting to know these girls.

Um, very easily? There are plenty of pretty women out there. White doesn't have a monopoly on hot. At all. Anyone who thinks that needs to get out more.

 

[Omegasquash]

....the fuck is wrong with people dating/marrying/fucking one another? The second people drop the notion that there's a problem with races interacting in whatever way they want with one another we'll actually be taking a step forward.

 

[GuitarAtomik]

It wasn't an article. It was an op-ed piece.

There's no speck of research done here to validate his argument.

The writer gave his own opinion and insecurities of how he felt about personal anecdotal interracial relationships. Not everyone feels the same way as he does.

My bad. Op-Ed then. Not sure why that makes a difference. Where does he present his views as empirical fact? It's pretty clearly just an attempt to explain his view on the matter and perhaps make other people aware of that. I fail to see why that's a problem or how he's trying to speak for everyone.

 

[Tymerend]

It's different being a white guy dating a black woman, as well. Apparently, there just HAS to be a reason she's with me other than liking me for who I am, because why would any black woman date a shortish, average looking white dude if he wasn't loaded with cash or have a monster wang. I have neither. Not even close.

That said, even I wonder why the hell she's with me most of the time. So I get it.

 

[Omegasquash]

It's different being a white guy dating a black woman, as well. Apparently, there just HAS to be a reason she's with me other than liking me for who I am, because why would any black woman date a shortish, average looking white dude if he wasn't loaded with cash or have a monster wang. I have neither. Not even close.

That said, even I wonder why the hell she's with me most of the time. So I get it.

We're not at a point where just wanting to be with someone for whatever reason you like is acceptable, when it's across racial lines. SMH.

 

[Infinite]

My bad. Op-Ed then. Not sure why that makes a difference. Where does he present his views as empirical fact? It's pretty clearly just an attempt to explain his view on the matter and perhaps make other people aware of that. I fail to see why that's a problem or how he's trying to speak for everyone.

And it's not a particularly interesting article for that reason. He's not saying anything profound on our hyper masculine, Eurocentric beauty standards, self hating black folk etc. and how that all ties into white women being a trophy for black men.

 

[Vermillion]

And it's not a particularly interesting article for that reason. He's not saying anything profound on our hyper masculine, Eurocentric beauty standards, self hating black folk etc. and how that all ties into white women being a trophy for black men.

He's talking about his experiences and how people assume the things that you just said. Which is interesting in its own right.

 

[Amentallica]

In order to get to the bottom of this, I think we need to go deeper into our pants.

 

[Infinite]

He's talking about his experiences and how people assume the things that you just said. Which is interesting in its own right.

I guess but it doesn't really say anything for anyone else. It reads like a blog post and that's cool but I think he had an opportunity to talk about how his experiences were influenced by very real dynamics in our culture. Instead he just cites rap lyrics as his proof so forgive me for not being interested.

 

[lightzGamin]

Interesring,the few dirties ruin it for everyone else. I have question, indian men (India), u Americans like ?

 

[GuitarAtomik]

And it's not a particularly interesting article for that reason. He's not saying anything profound on our hyper masculine, Eurocentric beauty standards, self hating black folk etc. and how that all ties into white women being a trophy for black men.

If you don't find it interesting than whatever. What I don't understand is outright hostility towards it.

 

[andycapps]

It's not a thread, but see my responses above. I've never limited my attraction by race (smart, funny, beautiful women are hot no matter what the color of their skin), but have gotten snarky comments before, though that's only happened when it was a white/black pairing. Other friends of mine have said they experienced the same. It doesn't really seem to matter which side is male/female. If you have a black/white pairing, someone is going to not like it which is sad.

Interesting and sad. Props to you for liking who you like and not letting what other people say determine your happiness.

 

[Infinite]

If you don't find it interesting than whatever. What I don't understand is outright hostility towards it.

Not seeing any hostility but "pseudo-intellectual BS" seems like an apt criticism.

 

[Busty]

Same problem here, my gf is black, I'm white. I have jungle fever apparently.

edit: well not same problem, but some parallels. It's irritating.

I know exactly what you mean. I dated a black girl a few years ago and was shocked by how many of my friends would come out with casual racism around me. They would imply that I had the 'jungle fever'.

The girl in question was an architecture student and yet whenever I saw my friend he would always quote 50 Cent lyrics at me.

It's so bafflingly ludicrous that it could be mistaken for parody.

 

[Hypemaster]

I'm sorry, but every time I see your avatar, I wonder if you're here to kill FreeMufasa.

lmao, not Scar though.

 

[segasonic]

This ideal is why Elliot Rodger felt he had a right to start shooting—because he couldn't get a white woman to go with his BMW.

Rodger felt he had the right to start shooting because he was batshit insane. He couldn't get any women not just blonde white ones and the reason for that was that he was a reclusive, sociopathic, narcissist asshole.

 

[GoldenEye 007]

Agreed.

Minority here, and I dated a lot of different races in my bachelor days. Did I ever get weird looks? Probably. But I didn't give a shit.

Yup.

 

[Vermillion]

I guess but it doesn't really say anything for anyone else. It reads like a blog post and that's cool but I think he had an opportunity to talk about how his experiences were influenced by very real dynamics in our culture. Instead he just cites rap lyrics as his proof so forgive me for not being interested.

But his experiences weren't. That's the point.

 

[KingK]

I'm white and attracted to every race on the planet. Sexy is sexy. I probably have a bit of a preference for black and Latina women (Nicki Minaj is probably the hottest celebrity today, imo) but the only girl I've dated was a pale white girl. I'm terrible at trying to pick up women in general though and my high school only had like 3 non-white girls in it.

 

[Infinite]

But his experiences weren't. That's the point.

Oh no they most certainly were.

 

[Rei no Otaku]

My entire all about interracial relationships. I'm biracial, my dad is black and my mom is Italian. I've dated white, Asian, and black women. My wife is Portuguese and black, but she looks white. I've never had any problems or had anyone commenting on my relationships. The closest thing I can think of is my parents telling me when they first got married my grandmother, on my mom's side, protested for a bit but my great-grandfather said "I didn't tell you who you could marry, so keep your mouth shut." And ended that quickly.

 

[GraveHorizon]

I agree that the media has bias in representation of attractive women by race. I know there are attractive black women, they just don't show them.

 

[DoktorEvil]

My bad. Op-Ed then. Not sure why that makes a difference. Where does he present his views as empirical fact? It's pretty clearly just an attempt to explain his view on the matter and perhaps make other people aware of that. I fail to see why that's a problem or how he's trying to speak for everyone.

It makes a difference when this is what the thread begins with:

That's why you hear references to white girls next to signifiers of wealth on recent hits like Chris Brown's "Loyal" or Wiz Khalifa's "We Dem Boyz." To invoke Kanye again, he said "champagne wishes, 30 white bitches" on the best-reviewed album of this decade. White women are sadly some type of trophy and marker of success, and that's a huge fucking problem. As a black man, it invalidates the authenticity of any relationships I have with white women. It's depressingly superficial and it's dangerous. This ideal is why Elliot Rodger felt he had a right to start shooting—because he couldn't get a white woman to go with his BMW.

The writer alluded a mentally deranged person's misogynistic views with the societal pressures of interracial relationships, along with using music lyrics to explain why HE feels pressured on the matter.

This is no better than the op-ed's I read in the NY Times or in the WSJ.
Opinion does not make for a convincing argument.

Maybe he does have a point in his argument, but without explaining the context behind his argument or citing any studies or academic work, he's just writing an opinion to a large crowd. It might as well be a NeoGAF post.

Angelus Errare was correct. This is pseudo intellectual BS.

 

[Vermillion]

Oh no they most certainly were.

You're basing that on...?

 

[Infinite]

You're basing that on...?

His experiences are not separate from the culture he experiences them in. In other words I'm basing this on common sense

 

[GuitarAtomik]

Maybe he does have a point in his argument, but without explaining the context behind his argument or citing any studies or academic work, he's just writing an opinion to a large crowd. It might as well be a NeoGAF post.

Isn't that what an op-ed is? The point of the post you originally replied to was that he was pretty clear that this was just his views of the matter and him communicating that. Not some rallying cry on "Here's what you should and shouldn't do black men!". Could it have been a blog post? Sure. It's an op-ed. I'm not trying to get in to a semantics argument about my mis-use of the word "article".

 

[Infinite]

Isn't that what an op-ed is? The point of the post you originally replied to was that he was pretty clear that this was just his views of the matter and him communicating that. Not some rallying cry on "Here's what you should and shouldn't do black men!". Could it have been a blog post? Sure. It's an op-ed. I'm not trying to get in to a semantics argument about my mis-use of the word "article".

I mean that isn't the point though. It can be whatever it wants and people are going to criticize it's content all the same.

 

[GuitarAtomik]

I mean that isn't he point though. It can be whatever it wants and people are going to criticize it's content all the same.

I'm sorry, I honestly don't understand what you're saying here. Are you saying that wasn't my point?

 

[Vermillion]

His experiences are not separate from the culture he experiences them in. In other words I'm basing this on common sense

...Before we continue this, I want to clarify: Are you saying that his actions (dating white women) were influenced by American* culture? Or that his experiences (how people treat him for dating white women) were influenced by American* culture?

*Or black culture?

 

[Infinite]

I'm sorry, I honestly don't understand what you're saying here. Are you saying that wasn't my point?

No I'm saying the issue of whether this is a think piece, article, blog post, forum post or OP-Ed is irrelevant. The posts you quoted and responded had some strongly worded criticisms for what they read as is. That's what I'm saying.

...Before we continue this, I want to clarify: Are you saying that his actions (dating white women) were influenced by American* culture? Or that his experiences (how people treat him for dating white women) were influenced by American* culture?

*Or black culture?

I'm saying the later

 

[kewlmyc]

I date whoever I want regardless of race. As long as we're compatible and we're into the same stuff, I don't care.

 

[GuitarAtomik]

No I'm saying the issue of whether this is a think piece, article, blog post, forum post or OP-Ed is irrelevant.

Well that I agree on mostly.

The posts you quoted and responded had some strongly worded criticisms for what they read as is. That's what I'm saying.

This I don't. Criticism of it is fine. I don't think their criticism (again assuming that's what they're doing) makes sense for it as is because they seem to be completely misunderstanding what's being said (ie "This is what you should or shouldn't be doing black males!" and saying he assumes all black dudes date white women as status symbols when he's literally saying the opposite).

 

[Vermillion]

I'm saying the latter

Ah. In which case, I don't see how you don't think that he commented on it. He mentions white women as a status object and property. He could have certainly gone further in depth, but as it stands he did make reference to culture affecting the perceptions of his relationship.

 

[commedieu]

sisters never give me time of day :\

Its default.

 

[DoktorEvil]

Isn't that what an op-ed is? The point of the post you originally replied to was that he was pretty clear that this was just his views of the matter and him communicating that. Not some rallying cry on "Here's what you should and shouldn't do black men!". Could it have been a blog post? Sure. It's an op-ed. I'm not trying to get in to a semantics argument about my mis-use of the word "article".

I apologize if my semantics argument isn't clear.

 

[led4lyfe]

I have a few friends who are black with white girlfriends and claim the only people who give them dirty looks are black females. They admit that they've had some passive aggressive altercations with white males(jealousy), but the only group who actually flat out harasses them are the black women(elderly being the worst offenders).

 

[Phobophile]

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00CVDYQN6/?tag=neogaf0e-20

A lot of the socioeconomic factors surrounding this phenomenon are presented in the book "Is Marriage for White People"

 

[GungHo]

White guy? White guy and asian woman is probably the least frictional interracial pairing on the planet. I don't think you can gauge the pressures other inter-ethnic couples face from that experience.

I've had shitty assumptions that me having an East Asian wife and having some nerdly habits implies that I am somehow inflicted with "Yellow Fever" or that I must have ordered her from the internet. Alternately, people assume that with my military background that I must have obtained her as a "war bride" while serving in the military, despite the fact that we have no bases in her country and that the Vietnam/Korean/Pacific Theater World War II Wars have long since been resolved. The military assumption I have no issue with, but the Yellow Fever part I used to have issues with. I don't care as much now.

I've also overheard someone calling us Oreos once. Strangely enough, it was a black dude, who you think would know better. We do sometimes get stares, but that's not common, or pointing and giggling (most recently a pair of baggage checkers at a HEB). She doesn't notice it, so I don't say anything. If she noticed it, though, I might. I don't care if they hurt my feelings. I do care if they hurt hers.