I'm Portuguese/Dominican.
The Reality of Dating White Women When You're Black
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TheMan
Member
i don't know if you're from the states, but in the midwest at least, i've noticed that people confuse spanish and hispanic fairly frequently.
"They're stealing our women" seems to be one of those basic reactions against minorities.
I remember that TV segment from some Korean channel complaining about how all the foreigners are stealing their women
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B09FXOZVw4g
Boom Boom Pow
Banned
then you're a latino. dunno why someone who's portoguese would say spanish.
AyaisMUsikWhore
Member
Sho_Nuff82
Member
I'm a black man who mostly dates white women...because I live in flipping Boston. I have so many friends who get it twisted when they think I have a "type", when I've hollered at chicks that were Asians, hispanic, black, Indian, or whatever.
Fine is fine, and IMO it's all the same color when the lights go out. If white women want to date me I'm not going to say no because of some misplaced pride or worse, oneitis.
The only times I get upset with someones preferences is when they say they absolutely won't date ____, as if that's some hard rule that fucking means anything when the right girl/guy steps into the picture with a smoking body. I've seen so many people flip flop on this stance that it's a wonder it's still around.
Fine is fine, and IMO it's all the same color when the lights go out. If white women want to date me I'm not going to say no because of some misplaced pride or worse, oneitis.
The only times I get upset with someones preferences is when they say they absolutely won't date ____, as if that's some hard rule that fucking means anything when the right girl/guy steps into the picture with a smoking body. I've seen so many people flip flop on this stance that it's a wonder it's still around.
Dice
Pokémon Parentage Conspiracy Theorist
I know I do.
However, I had quite a striking experience while I was living in Mexico for half a year helping an orphanage. I had been there about four months. I was by Lake Chapala, pretty far into the country, so the whole time I had only seen Mexican girls. As I was riding the bus on my typical route, watching all the people walking down the sidewalk along the main street, I saw a blonde white girl. I was momentarily mesmerized, like "wwwoooaaaahhhh" at her beauty, even though she was actually no more beautiful than a great many women I saw there every day, and even though I am a white blonde man who grew up around all types of girls.
After experiencing that, I suppose I could recognize how susceptible one can become to the novelty of something different from what they are used to. If their life is dominated by a particular ethnic subculture, perhaps they will admire the esteemed beauties of what isn't around them most of the time simply for sake of variety, if not for a genetic drive to diversify. And if that is the case, it is rather simple to me to see why, if given a few options, ones preferences would lean to the one with the most status and riches and "perfection" idealism behind and around it.
Exploring these notions may not justify it as a healthy thing, but it may help us understand it as a natural thing. I think it is very important to recognize when social problems are coming out biases with natural drives behind them. It makes it more of a puzzle we are solving together rather than some discussion of pristine ethics of divine principles where people get vilified for being among the offenders, rather than counted as victims of a different kind, confused by certain narratives of society and inclinations of instincts that support falsehoods.
Days like these...
Have a Blessed Day
I'm Latino and I dated Latinas, Black, Asian and married a Persian girl but I really think that people that date exclusively outside their race have some kind of self loathing going on.
This is definitely a thing. Don't really have much to add but as a white dude I've seen bitterness on the part of other white guys when a chick is with a black dude. Even if this is a girl they don't know/would never know/probably wouldn't have interest in anyway. It's dumb. Taken to it's conclusion even if every black dude married a white girl there would still be a whole lot of white women left. Also have met girls that simply won't date black guys. Whether to dodge this label or simple preference or racism I don't know.
At any rate not exactly the same but my one long term (3+ years) relationship was with a Korean girl. People poking at me for having yellow fever and 'loving' asian chicks was super annoying. Two years after the fact it's still brought up. My Mom has even commented. I like Asian girls as much as the next dude but no special attraction. Keep in mind too that I've been with other girls. This one just stuck because it was different I guess.
It makes the whole thing feel creepy. People are people.
At any rate not exactly the same but my one long term (3+ years) relationship was with a Korean girl. People poking at me for having yellow fever and 'loving' asian chicks was super annoying. Two years after the fact it's still brought up. My Mom has even commented. I like Asian girls as much as the next dude but no special attraction. Keep in mind too that I've been with other girls. This one just stuck because it was different I guess.
It makes the whole thing feel creepy. People are people.
Dice
Pokémon Parentage Conspiracy Theorist
I wouldn't be able to say that so easily, but if your ethnicity in your area is pretty homogenous, familiarity with the culture may eventually lead you to just being so sick of all their weaknesses you can't even appreciate their good sides anymore, and you'd rather not expend the effort and deal with all the bullshit required to find a diamond in the rough.
Like, I wouldn't say I'm biased against white girls, but if you want to know what the vast majority of white folks in my area are like and how they think, turn on Fox News. You think that won't affect my "suspicions of attraction" for a white girl around here until I get to know how she really is as an individual? It's not an ethnic self-loathing thing, because white international students will come here and a lot of those girls are super cool, but it is definitely an ethnicity-related local subculture thing.
Yeah, "Generally I'm into X, but you never know" is fine, "I don't date Y" sets off alarm bells.
OfWhiteSkinOnRedLeather
Member
Hondurans aren't Spanish. They're Honduran.
HarryKS
Member
Beautiful. Beauty is truth and truth is beauty.
We can't control who we are attracted to.
I hate the whole "Media has brainwashed us into what we perceive as as attractive" argument. Maybe a small percentage are influenced by it, but by in large it's ingrained in our DNA.
I grew up in a very white suburban neighborhood, watching very white television shows and I'm very attracted to women of all ethnicities. I actually find "light skinned" (caucasian/african american mixed parents) women the most attractive.
I hate the whole "Media has brainwashed us into what we perceive as as attractive" argument. Maybe a small percentage are influenced by it, but by in large it's ingrained in our DNA.
I grew up in a very white suburban neighborhood, watching very white television shows and I'm very attracted to women of all ethnicities. I actually find "light skinned" (caucasian/african american mixed parents) women the most attractive.
I'm 100% in favor of interracial couples! It brought me my adorable niece, Erika.
This is my nephew, Indian + Danish mix.
Mixed kids are the cutest.
Vermillion
Banned
What's seen as attractive has changed with societal values, though.
Vicetrailia
Banned
I like all ethnicities and have been with many as well. But in hip hop, taking what shouldn't be yours is amazing and lives up to the rockstar mentality. White girls love chief keef and he loves them too. That makes people mad.
FrenchMovieTheme
Member
Wait this article is about how much of a joke Kanye wests music/lyrics are right?
No, it hasn't.
HappyBivouac
Member
In my personal experience, people are going to pass certain judgments on any kind of interracial relationship. I'm a living example of a white guy who has dated an Asian girl, and had people accusing me of fetishizing Asian women with all the classic stereotypes. Just because I was with a girl who happened to be Asian. Its best to just ignore them and realize that its their own idiotic racial prejudice coming into play.
Dark Knyght
Member
Spanish = Spain
Hispanic = Hispaniola = Dominican and Puerto Rican
Latino/a = Latin American
Ha
In what world?
You mind telling this to all the other white people in America? Would help us out a lot.
Ha. I actually have similar feelings. It's really hard to shake and I don't have any real desire to.
kerotan_eater
Banned
I'm sure white women are stereotyped/grouped together less so I doubt there is as much fetishization
Prototype Viktor
Member
You'd be in the non-white Hispanic check box on a survey/census
Boom Boom Pow
Banned
I dunno, in my world? how is someone who's born in spain or born to spanish parents not white?
samus i am
Member
Haha, I was just talking about this with a friend. I don't hate them but it really saddens me.
NEOPARADIGM
Banned
Have a link that explains why that's fucked up or whatever? Not having read anything on it, my mind's telling me it's hot as fuck to be fetishized. Sartre argued at length that a gigantic component of physical sex is objectification of self anyway; being "fetishized" all the while? Hot.
Ghost_Protocol
Member
I'm a black guy who mostly dates white girls, and every time I'm out on a date, we do get stared at, but it's mostly smiles and people are usually extra friendly and nice to us. Which is always the opposite of what I expect.
It's seriously crazy. Other couples will walk up and just start conversations with us.
However, I can't imagine how pissed off I'd be if some stranger actually had the gall to come up to me and ask me why I can't date within my own race, like the woman the author mentions in the article. Why the fuck would someone do that and ruin another couples night out? Assholes.
It's seriously crazy. Other couples will walk up and just start conversations with us.
However, I can't imagine how pissed off I'd be if some stranger actually had the gall to come up to me and ask me why I can't date within my own race, like the woman the author mentions in the article. Why the fuck would someone do that and ruin another couples night out? Assholes.
Miss.Selfdestruct
Member
Personally, I recognize that there's definitely something I do not like about the way males are generally raised within my ethnicity. So I guess by nature, I've always been significantly more attracted to men outside my culture and ethnicity. That said, I do not consider myself self loathing at all.
I definitely agree, & I'm a African-American male myself.
It's just ridiculous to see people being against this in 2014. People are people.
Vicetrailia
Banned
You judge all males of one ethnicity that you had a few experiences with...really? Do you do it for acceptance, or status pass?
Rykestrasse 68
Neo Member
My oldest living relative, at 92 years of age, had the best reaction to my boyfriend when she met him. She's cool with my relationship, and my gay cousin's relationship- her biggest concern is that nobody else give us a hard time. She said, " it's wonderful, how far we've come in my lifetime" and that if anyone has anything bad to say about it, I should just "tell them to mind their own damned business."
It blows my mind that my Great aunt can be so honestly open minded, yet people 1/3 her age treat my relationship like a freak show. I swear, if one more woman asks me, "is it true?? What they say..." ugh.
I'm with him because I love him, he is simply the most amazing person- and I think he's beautiful because of who he is, not some weird exotic fetishizing. The fact that people feel like they have a right to unload their stereotypical ideas and ask me to justify why I'd date an Asian/black/Pakistani or other non-hispanic- as if they aren't fulfilling the role of a friend and partner because of "differences" is just sad, and so tiring.
I really appreciated the article, and I look forward to the day that people get over it, we're all human.
It blows my mind that my Great aunt can be so honestly open minded, yet people 1/3 her age treat my relationship like a freak show. I swear, if one more woman asks me, "is it true?? What they say..." ugh.
I'm with him because I love him, he is simply the most amazing person- and I think he's beautiful because of who he is, not some weird exotic fetishizing. The fact that people feel like they have a right to unload their stereotypical ideas and ask me to justify why I'd date an Asian/black/Pakistani or other non-hispanic- as if they aren't fulfilling the role of a friend and partner because of "differences" is just sad, and so tiring.
I really appreciated the article, and I look forward to the day that people get over it, we're all human.
Black men dating white women as a symbol.
Soulja Boy still relevant
Rappers called Wacka Flacka
Chris Brown singing songs about how girls ain't loyal
Man USA is some new world shit.
Even rejected Aussies can find fame in America!
On topic:
My missus is Asian and everyone thinks we're mad cute :3
I hate being told I have yellow fever tho. Like theres some sort of problem dating a different race?
Haha this guy wins
Soulja Boy still relevant
Rappers called Wacka Flacka
Chris Brown singing songs about how girls ain't loyal
Man USA is some new world shit.
Even rejected Aussies can find fame in America!
On topic:
My missus is Asian and everyone thinks we're mad cute :3
I hate being told I have yellow fever tho. Like theres some sort of problem dating a different race?
Haha this guy wins
MWS Natural
Member
Vermillion
Banned
"Salt and pepper; you're gonna upset both sides of the table."
I've only ever dated white women, but that's mostly because I have never been able to pick up a girl, and only white women have picked me up.
That being said, interracial couples are pretty standard fare where I'm from, so I rarely get shit for it. I think I got shit from it once from an older black women when I was working at Best buy, and that's it.
That being said, interracial couples are pretty standard fare where I'm from, so I rarely get shit for it. I think I got shit from it once from an older black women when I was working at Best buy, and that's it.
MWS Natural
Member
Just finished the article. My girlfriend, who is white, and I have been together for 3 years. I've always dated a mix of women growing up and throughout my adulthood. I don't see her as a trophy or anything but this part definitely hit home for me:
Of course a woman isn't a trophy or status symbol but it isn't a coincidence that at company parties usually the higher the pay grade the more attractive the wife/girlfriend usually is.
Of course a woman isn't a trophy or status symbol but it isn't a coincidence that at company parties usually the higher the pay grade the more attractive the wife/girlfriend usually is.
D
Deleted member 1235
Unconfirmed Member
well. I'm glad we solved that. I had mistakenly assumed that the boy was deeply mentally ill.
my wife is brown and I own a korean car, I guess it's lucky I don't live in a guns for all country or this place would be a blood bath.
sounds like the black man gives far too many fucks. since when does someone elses opinion invalidate the authenticity of your relationship? What an absolute load of horseshit how shallow must you be to care about this.
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