That's pretty much how I feel as well. However, having read some of the responses in the thread I definitely understand how it can be a constant presence no matter the situation.
The Reality of Dating White Women When You're Black
- Thread starter Vermillion
- Start date
- Status
That's pretty much how I feel as well. However, having read some of the responses in the thread I definitely understand how it can be a constant presence no matter the situation.
Ghost_Protocol
Member
Yeah, have people stare every time you go out, have your friends/family jab you about it, have complete strangers get up in your face about it, and still give no fucks. Doesn't work that way dude. People aren't robots. That shit is going to bother you.
Boss Mog
Member
To call somebody Spanish in the English language implies that person is from Spain. That's in Europe and Spaniards are mostly white. Some might have a slightly darker tint to their skin and hair but that's due to Spain being conquered by the Moors (which were of Arab and Berber descent) in the early 8th century.
Bigots of all shapes, size and origins have an opinion and want you to know it. Also, you find out how many of your coworkers and friends aren't all that comfortable with your race after all.
That shit is...fuckin' ridikalous.
Reads like a forum post but I wholeheartedly agree with many points made. I'm going to do what I'm going to do, to hell with everyone else. There is certainly a heavy load of assumptions placed on a black dude with a white woman, especially from black women. That's not to say society doesn't have its own hand in shaming by, as given in his post, assuming the relationship is some sort of show of power.
phxxBullet
Banned
Some people seem to want each race to only date the same one.
I don't get this though. My best friend in middle school just had a black GF and every time they'd walk around holding hands or kissing, people would stare at them for some time, one even asking him why he's with a black woman, and not with a white one.
No idea what's wrong with that, but it seems to be a problem for some people.
But tbh, it looked a bit funny, because his GF was from africa, and didn't just have a really brown tan, but was black. And he was pale as an albino. Still nothing odd about this
I went to San Francisco for college and was staying with three white guys, two of which talked all the time about black chicks and how amazing they are. One of them ended up with a black chick.
Some years later, I was living in Dubai in a company apartment temporarily with two Scottish guys and they used to regularly bring black hookers.
I've seen white guys go crazy over coloured girls so I'm thinking opposites attract. No big deal.
Some years later, I was living in Dubai in a company apartment temporarily with two Scottish guys and they used to regularly bring black hookers.
I've seen white guys go crazy over coloured girls so I'm thinking opposites attract. No big deal.
SapientWolf
Trucker Sexologist
I feel like he would just go out and say he finds white women to be more attractive, if he was being completely honest with himself. I don't see how sorta kinda being attracted to other races too makes him a better person than men who aren't, but he seems to think it does.
He's also assuming that the people picking trophy wives are doing so based on society's preference and not their own, but that doesn't make much sense. Maybe they feel the same way he does. It seems like he wants to be able to date whoever he wants without being judged, but throwing other men under the bus isn't the way forward.
hodayathink
Member
Notice in that second quote that he doesn't say that he likes white features MORE than the others.
He says that, but he goes into much more detail about white women than the other races which is kind of a tell. Just because he says doesn't mean he means.
NEOPARADIGM
Banned
That but I definitely seems really out of place then. If it was how you're saying it would simply read: "I'm very honestly and legitimately attracted to the features of black women, and Latina women, and Asian women, and Indian women, and any other type of woman, and I like white women" or thereabouts.
trineo_feo
Member
....what????
No, you're right he doesn't say that. But I don't think most people have a checklist of things they like more, per se, they just have certain features they know they're attracted to and will seek those out even without consciously disliking anyone else.
I could say the same thing he does about all types of women and it'd be true. My dating history is as diverse as you like, but like the author of the article, I tend to make better, longer-lasting connections with a specific race. However I'm pretty honest with myself about it - I won't lie and say every ethnic group is on equal grounds for me. There is one that is more attractive to me than the others.
The Maverick
Member
Explain.
Basileus777
Member
Hispanic comes Hispania, not Hispaniola. And Puerto Rico isn't even on Hispaniola. I've never heard anyone ever use Hispanic as a way to identify Dominicans and Haitians. Hispanic is essentially a way to refer to people from the Americas that speak Spanish as their primary language, or a least that's how it's used in the US.
Hispanic doesn't mean that everywhere. It is used often as a way to describe people related to Spain or Latin Americans.
Portugeezer
Member
Spanish people are white, although Spain's climate is warmer than northern European countries so you have more tanned people. Same with Portugal, France, Italy, etc.
The darkest of the bunch are swarthy at most. Like Cristiano.
The US racial debate is always growing more and more contrieved and arcane each passing second, specially when it comes to the whole cultural aspect of it.
You guys overthink race far too much. Like Freud once famously said "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar", and sometimes a white girlfriend is just a white girfriend, not a trophy or a metaphor for your country's past or whatsoever.
People from different races fall in love with each other constantly due to a plethora of personal simple reasons (hello, Occam). Why is everyone over there always trying to guess and "unmask" the "true intentions" behind everyone's personal actions, specially when it comes to race interactions? Can't you just ask the person involved directly rather than assuming and second guessing?
What an overtly judgamental, witch-hunting, toxic attitude to have. Just date with white girls whenever you feel like and be happy, article writter. I know that it is not easy when other persons are judging, but to hell with that kind of people.
You guys overthink race far too much. Like Freud once famously said "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar", and sometimes a white girlfriend is just a white girfriend, not a trophy or a metaphor for your country's past or whatsoever.
People from different races fall in love with each other constantly due to a plethora of personal simple reasons (hello, Occam). Why is everyone over there always trying to guess and "unmask" the "true intentions" behind everyone's personal actions, specially when it comes to race interactions? Can't you just ask the person involved directly rather than assuming and second guessing?
What an overtly judgamental, witch-hunting, toxic attitude to have. Just date with white girls whenever you feel like and be happy, article writter. I know that it is not easy when other persons are judging, but to hell with that kind of people.
yet another articular talking about what black males "should and shouldn't be doing "
here is some perspective on the "issue of interracial dating / marriage" I'm black, my mother married a white guy what I was in grade school. from the point at which the students found out I was picked on ,bullied , teased relentlessly by the black student body , mostly black females. I literally sat by my self at lunch for years ,"don't talk to him , he has a white father" , "your mother is sick!", this happened up until high school were I learned to hide that information away from people.
now that I'm an adult , again black females just want to know if I "date white girls ?". This shit comes up in small talk all the time because I'm "well spoken". So the fuck what if I date them or not.
Do what fucking makes you happy. fuck what everyone else thinks. "self hating black man " my ass.
here is some perspective on the "issue of interracial dating / marriage" I'm black, my mother married a white guy what I was in grade school. from the point at which the students found out I was picked on ,bullied , teased relentlessly by the black student body , mostly black females. I literally sat by my self at lunch for years ,"don't talk to him , he has a white father" , "your mother is sick!", this happened up until high school were I learned to hide that information away from people.
now that I'm an adult , again black females just want to know if I "date white girls ?". This shit comes up in small talk all the time because I'm "well spoken". So the fuck what if I date them or not.
Do what fucking makes you happy. fuck what everyone else thinks. "self hating black man " my ass.
Come to YUROP BRO. We southerners are often mistaken for middle-easterns, and no one actually care unless you go around dressed like an hobo and smell like it i suppose.
Also nice two posts about me. The mentality is so toxic.
block tower
Member
that's crazy man, sorry to hear that. where did you grow up that you had that experience if you dont mind me asking?
It's an interesting article. Kinda depressing though.
Lately any time i see any race related discussion I hope that my six year old son stays just the way he is. Friends of all different race color and religion, none of them see a difference other than gender and skin color which they just use as an adjective like tall or thin. One of the girls he's known since daycare happens to be black and she's sweet and cute and smart, I'd hate to think he'd catch crap if they end up dating later down the line... but I guess that's naive.
Although I'm sure it will be less in our area and as time goes on. I feel like half the parents we know are black/white married couples
Lately any time i see any race related discussion I hope that my six year old son stays just the way he is. Friends of all different race color and religion, none of them see a difference other than gender and skin color which they just use as an adjective like tall or thin. One of the girls he's known since daycare happens to be black and she's sweet and cute and smart, I'd hate to think he'd catch crap if they end up dating later down the line... but I guess that's naive.
Although I'm sure it will be less in our area and as time goes on. I feel like half the parents we know are black/white married couples
Angelus Errare
Banned
Realities of dating a white woman in America - There's always going to be someone who hits you with the pseudo intellectual psychoanalysis bullshit. Shrug them off and keep going about your day.
You can't just blame western media. They are only marketing to an audience that wants to be reflected as the center of the universe.
It's no different than how if you advertise on China using a Japanese person you are an idiot because more Chinese people will be less interested in the product than those who don't care about such factors.
At the end of the day the majority of Americans even today are of a lighter complexion. Regardless blaming society for being so ethnocentric and simplistic in their our look isn't going to endear it to change. Our is prudent to raise awareness of their bias and reflect on whether or not they can overcome their bad habits to see darker people as the same ad themselves, not just Americans.
This was mid 90's Maryland for grade school. The amount of hate that's spewed from my own race is sick.
Even the whole notion of this article shows this is an issue only when black males do it. When a black female dose it she's seen a well rounded progressive woman. With black males its seen as a "Status symbol". It's not even pointed out that the man finds the woman interesting or even loves the woman.
block tower
Member
what the hell are you even going on about? lol . my comment didn't even highlight dark or light skin, it was the disparity between white women and non-white women in western media. as to the rest of your comment im not really sure what you were trying to say but im guessing you dont agree with me haha. whatever.
that sucks man. it's amazing how people find so much interest in others personal life. it's annoying how much black America is put under a constant microscope with every aspect of life being dissected.
Days like these...
Have a Blessed Day
It's not pseudo intellectual psychianalysis. if you date EXCLUSIVELY outside your race.
Hey I'm (insert race) and I like to stereotype my ENTIRE race because I'm not attracted to how my race looks/is (never mind that there is such diversity in terms of looks and attitudes within each race) but I'm different than those of my race because I'm a unique snowflake that's why I date exclusively outside of my race oh and by the way I'm not self loathing.
biggersmaller
Banned
I don't know how much print magazines really impact our culture anymore.
DoktorEvil
Banned
FTFY
I read his op-ed as someone who now lives in NY and can't reconcile the nasty comments he's getting for dating outside of his race, especially in Brooklyn.
I've been through this and still go through it, but I don't let it define me or bother me. The heart wants what it's wants. It's easy to say do the same, but I'm not him.
What cheers me up is that there are couples who emigrate to NY because their marriage/relationship is illegal or life threatening in their former country. They do ok over here.
Angelus Errare
Banned
The article OP links doesn't even talk about people who do such, it's strictly just an assumption that a black dude dating a white chick is dating her because it's a status symbol and quotes Ye lyrics as some kind of "proof".
Pseudo intellectual BS at it's finest. Cats who don't date their own, honestly I can't begin to worry about their numerous issues when I have my own. Though to be honest I don't really give a damn about self loathing people much at all anyway.
Agreed.
Minority here, and I dated a lot of different races in my bachelor days. Did I ever get weird looks? Probably. But I didn't give a shit.
Prime crotch
Banned
In south europe, yes, if you get outside of europe mediterranean dudes start varying in race, I've been stationed somewhere between mulato and persian (portuguese duder here)
Yes, this. And if you're going to have this conversation it's very important to talk about how black men are over sexualized in the media and how this concept of white women as trophies dates back to reconstruction.
DoktorEvil
Banned
Hmm I didn't know this dated as far back as the 1800s
Real talk. I've dated black and white women, my current gf is white but I wouldn't say I have a preference. In the area in which I grew up in there aren't many black people (less than 20%) so I'm just working with the cards I've been dealt!
Oh Hai! On Gaf now I see cuz.
SolarPowered
Member
Someone never lived on the east coast or NYC. It was absolutely the most common way to refer to ourselves when I was in middle school and high school. Now I know better, but I'm sure tons of people from my country still use the "hispanic" label. Of course, "Dominican" is the first description anyone uses for Dominicans when referring to them, but "hispanic" was definitely used a lot.
GravityMan
Member
This. While the blog posting has some good points, ultimately he's making way too big a deal out of the whole thing. He comes across as insecure and at times defensive.
Some people don't seem to understand that no matter who you are or what you do...there's going to be SOME folks who will give you shit for it, either to your face or behind your back. That's just life, and a by-product of the varied cultures we live in. Those folks care way too much about how others choose to live their lives. It's pointless to get worked up over it. The author just needs to live his own life and enjoy his girlfriend (regardless of her race), his professional career, social life, hobbies and so on.
If the author was truly comfortable in his own skin, then he wouldn't have bothered to create this Gawker blog post in the first place. If some stranger called him a sellout or said he had jungle fever then he'd just laugh it off, let it roll off his back and put it out of his mind.
Learn to read.
I was expanding on your post by pointing out there is more to it than just western media.
You have to consider that western media is catering to an audience. If other people didn't like what they presented they wouldn't be doing it because they would be losing money.
Unrelated, but some stories on the first page reminded me:
The first time I told my dad about my current girlfriend, the first question he asked after her name was "Is she black?"
I'm not black and I haven't previously dated any black women. Still have no idea what that was about lol.
The first time I told my dad about my current girlfriend, the first question he asked after her name was "Is she black?"
I'm not black and I haven't previously dated any black women. Still have no idea what that was about lol.
- Status
Similar threads
- Locked