1. If I give a woman a Lexus, Jaguar, or BMW with a big reg bow on it, she'll rape me in the driveway.
2. If I simply carry a box with a diamond in it down the street, every woman - including the woman who sold me the diamond and was around said stone all day - will become so hot they will nearly undress in public.
3. If I actually give the diamond to a woman, she'll rape me in a restaurant. I got a mojo box, indeed.
4. If I'm the father of the family and manage to actually get my kids a good gift, my wife will steal said gift and take credit for it while leaving me her poorly though out gift to give.
5. I should be damn happy to get slippers. I should just buy my own damn plasma TV.
6. As a father and a husband, Christmas isn't really for me. Its for my kids and my wife. My enjoyment should come from giving them diamonds, cars, and cell phones.
Bah, humbug.
2. If I simply carry a box with a diamond in it down the street, every woman - including the woman who sold me the diamond and was around said stone all day - will become so hot they will nearly undress in public.
3. If I actually give the diamond to a woman, she'll rape me in a restaurant. I got a mojo box, indeed.
4. If I'm the father of the family and manage to actually get my kids a good gift, my wife will steal said gift and take credit for it while leaving me her poorly though out gift to give.
5. I should be damn happy to get slippers. I should just buy my own damn plasma TV.
6. As a father and a husband, Christmas isn't really for me. Its for my kids and my wife. My enjoyment should come from giving them diamonds, cars, and cell phones.
Bah, humbug.