this is weird, my cousin is jacking off with my netbook

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Mordeccai said:
I know this feel.

I took my laptop home this winter and allowed my two sisters to use it. They're both younger than me, I'm only an undergrad, so I was confident there would be no issues.

Well, a few days pass and everythings going well. I decided to scroll through my history to find this video here on GAF the day prior, so I begin to scroll down when I notice a number of weird google searches. Cutest boys, hottest celebs, stuff like this. I know for a fact I didn't type in those searches, but whatever.

But then, a search catches my eye.

iUy7wSBjCWR7F.gif


"hot boys green eyes big dick"

All of a sudden, I did not know what to do with my hands. I wanted nothing further to do with the keyboard and I cleaned the hell out of it.

Family shouldn't be using your laptop to jack it, man.
Click to expand...

Shamalantwist.gif

The brother has green eyes.
 
I do not get the point of watching porn unless you are going to masturbate. It seems like a larger waste of time than any other media you could spend your time on.

I keep more porn sessions to about 5 minutes every few days and utilize that time to the best of my ability.
 
Amazing thread! :lol :lol

I feel proud that the bielsagaze.gif I made years ago is used splendidly in the post that started the crazyness. :)


edit-

the one where he innocently goes "I do have green eyes" killed me
 
Preachsuh said:
I used to do things like that.
Couldn't let me use a computer unsupervised, else they'd come back and find my history cluttered with huge black booty, big black booty, big butt crackdown, megabooty monsters.
This was way back in 1998, when the only good searches were hotbot, lycos and yahoo.
I didn't care/no shame to be had.
Even before that though, if i even sat next to a female with a big butt, i'd gradually inch my hand under their butts, and then rub my knuckles back and forth verrrrrrry slooooooowwwwwly.
Most either scooted further down if space allowed, one took my hand out and slapped my face(sorry Aunt Jeowel) and the rest took my hand, placed it in my lap, and held it there, while giving me the evil eye and cutting towards my parents.
This all happened before i was six, and stopped once i had my first real kiss session(age 6).
I'm better now, but still have a fascination with female booty.
I was dreaming about screwing stallions before slang copped the lingo.
Still love the smell of a freshly scrubbed female backside.
Its like a good stink, like chocolate and spoiled milk mixed together.
Click to expand...

killed me lolol
 
Only read the OP, and my response is. What kinda weed have you been smoking? I get rock ass hard when I get high. High sex is best sex.
 
Tesseract said:
http://www.abload.de/img/edward-norton-closingamy2a.gif
Click to expand...

LMAO

DMPrince said:
true story. i saw a guy on cam4 putting yogurt on his dick and letting his dog lick it off.
Click to expand...

Hey, maybe Rover enjoys it, just like Rover enjoys licking the peanut butter out of the vagina of that dude's girl, quit hatin'.

I haven't been to Cam4 in ages because it's completely boring most of the times I went there
 
Wow I came home from work to finally check this thread to see how it unfolded. I lost my shit at that .gif.

GAF, you complete me. <3
 
Preachsuh said:
I used to do things like that.
Couldn't let me use a computer unsupervised, else they'd come back and find my history cluttered with huge black booty, big black booty, big butt crackdown, megabooty monsters.
This was way back in 1998, when the only good searches were hotbot, lycos and yahoo.
I didn't care/no shame to be had.
Even before that though, if i even sat next to a female with a big butt, i'd gradually inch my hand under their butts, and then rub my knuckles back and forth verrrrrrry slooooooowwwwwly.
Most either scooted further down if space allowed, one took my hand out and slapped my face(sorry Aunt Jeowel) and the rest took my hand, placed it in my lap, and held it there, while giving me the evil eye and cutting towards my parents.
This all happened before i was six, and stopped once i had my first real kiss session(age 6).
I'm better now, but still have a fascination with female booty.
I was dreaming about screwing stallions before slang copped the lingo.
Still love the smell of a freshly scrubbed female backside.
Its like a good stink, like chocolate and spoiled milk mixed together.
Click to expand...


There is something severely wrong with you.
 
Hiltz said:
This thread is amazing.

I remember an awkward family-related masterbation encounter back when I was in probably 7th grade. During a party at my parent's house, I walked into my bedroom to get a picture of a fish I had caught during a fishing trip with my uncles. I noticed something was fishy when my bedroom door was open (I always keep it closed during parties). Well, it turns out my cousin was lying down on my bed with one of my socks on his penis with the lights off. Then without hesitating, he asked if I could help him masterbate. I didn't know what the fuck he was thinking, but I just quietly sad no and walked backwards out of the door and closed it. My cousin isn't even gay. In fact, he's getting married to his fiance this October. We've never brought up the incident and likely never will. I'd prefer to erase it from my memory.

During this year's Father's Day, my cousin was over at my house and he went with me to go for a ride in my brother's new car. He started to giggle when we passed by an Adult learning center, a school that was about 3 blocks away from my house. He told us that was where he had parked his car once with his previous girlfriend and had sex. Dude, too much information.
Click to expand...

tNNK2.gif
 
lil bit of an update

just hopped on my bed to do some late night browsing before hittinf the sack, dude is obviously high as fuck and comes at me like his time with ma netbook is fucking owed to him and i fucking know this dude is gonna jack his shit so im like fuck off im doing sokme shit anh hes gonna come back at me like so imma let him use it for a few minutes but some shit's gonna go down later cuz this dude looked at me like hie was reaDY TO FIGHT OR SOME SHIT.
 
mysticwhip said:
lil bit of an update

just hopped on my bed to do some late night browsing before hittinf the sack, dude is obviously high as fuck and comes at me like his time with ma netbook is fucking owed to him and i fucking know this dude is gonna jack his shit so im like fuck off im doing sokme shit anh hes gonna come back at me like so imma let him use it for a few minutes but some shit's gonna go down later cuz this dude looked at me like hie was reaDY TO FIGHT OR SOME SHIT.
Click to expand...

Give him a drumstick.
 
mysticwhip said:
lil bit of an update

just hopped on my bed to do some late night browsing before hittinf the sack, dude is obviously high as fuck and comes at me like his time with ma netbook is fucking owed to him and i fucking know this dude is gonna jack his shit so im like fuck off im doing sokme shit anh hes gonna come back at me like so imma let him use it for a few minutes but some shit's gonna go down later cuz this dude looked at me like hie was reaDY TO FIGHT OR SOME SHIT.
Click to expand...

What kind of weed do you guys smoke that makes it hard to get erect and makes you angry?
 
This thread started off so much stranger for me at first because I thought he said green dick. I went 2 pages before realizing.

Realizing that it went from Hulk porn to incest. Not sure what was worse.
 
mysticwhip said:
lil bit of an update

just hopped on my bed to do some late night browsing before hittinf the sack, dude is obviously high as fuck and comes at me like his time with ma netbook is fucking owed to him and i fucking know this dude is gonna jack his shit so im like fuck off im doing sokme shit anh hes gonna come back at me like so imma let him use it for a few minutes but some shit's gonna go down later cuz this dude looked at me like hie was reaDY TO FIGHT OR SOME SHIT.
Click to expand...

the fuck
 
idk man

idk

but you should go up to him the next time he's high n b all

"I TOLD YOU ABOUT INCOGNITO MAN"

THE ICOGNITO

MAN

I TOLD YOU
 
Lionel Mandrake said:
For those of you just joining us...
jJxFEZBsYMNvt.jpg


Our thread began when our OP, mysticwhip, enlightened NeoGAF to the precarious predicament he found himself in, after lending his netbook to his friend and discovering that his friend had been using that netbook for masturbatory purposes.

However, that matter was quickly forgotten when user Mordeccai gave his own experiences.



This problem was further compounded when it was discovered that Mordeccai himself had green eyes, thus leading to incestuous connotations. But Mordeccai didn't stop there.



A great run for any NeoGAF madness, but Mordeccai topped it all off by providing a picture of the sister in question.



Then of course, gifs and jokes, and all sorts of general debauchery followed.

Will Mordeccai continue this trainwreck? Will the thread be locked? Will anyone ever play Rock Band again? Let's find out.
Click to expand...

For the new page.
 
aighti dunno if this is done or not but i took my netbook back and hes looking Ta me luke yo man fuck you and says "i wasn;t do and i look at his and say "yo, night" dude leaves yo i feel like a boss. shit is tense and we could square off at any time but shit idk i feel like its been resolved.
 
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