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Tinder is destroying mens self-esteem (New York Post)
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JadedWriter
Member
Yes.
blame space
Banned
it's really not
LookAtMeGo
Member
Id listen to it if I had some kind of automated website reader program thingy.
You guys must be losers if you cannot score on tinder. I am short (4'7'')but im a baller. let me help you unsociable gamer nerds out: you can easily make yourself look tall on a webcam by spending thousands of dollars buying a novelty miniature house full of mini furniture. edit: dont forget to buy a 1/2th replica car that does not function as a real vehicle but lets you take convincing photos of yourself in your replica whip
How About No
Member
Uno Venova
Banned
Are the women always shorter than you and if not do they care at all?
intheinbetween
Member
For those out there in despair, I come here as a ray of hope.
Of all the superficial apps out there, I met my GF on Tinder after months of using it just like that...passing my likes the moments I had those. It's almost been 9 month now I never was so happy to be with a women in my whole life.
So yeah, most of the time it's heavily superficial, but you can find someone out there that won't just want a one night stand, even if that's Tinder. I had my downs as well, but in the end, in the position I am now, it was fucking worth it.
Just keep searching and one day a miracle can happen.
Same here, I met my current GF by a dating-app similar to Tinder a year and a half ago, but before meting her I dated many many women and used different apps like Tinder. I have many funny histories to tell, I had a blast of fun, but once I met the one I quit.
Guys, don't let Tinder, any dating or social app, bring you down, use them as a tool to meet new people. Don't get anxious if it doesn't click or work right away, just use it a vehicle to meet new people, you can have good times and time will tell if there's a chance of dating or not. But please, do not rely only on dating apps, go out and have fun with your friends, the more fun you have the happier you get and that will help you a lot. Physical appearance in dating apps, as in real life, is important, but not the only factor.
Combichristoffersen
Combovers don't work when there is no hair
I pay for Tinder Plus. Still swipe probably 90%-95% of all girls to the left, as there's honestly just no way I'd get along with any "normal" girl (who, obviously, make up the absolute majority on Tinder).
Whats interesting about OKC: It uses meetup com to help arrange dates faster.
A job counselor in my MOS Excel, A+ class said to use meetup com for job networking.
The wild part is I have seen some woman mentioning they are in the IT field on OKC. For a split second I thought about using OKC to try to land a job in IT.
A job counselor in my MOS Excel, A+ class said to use meetup com for job networking.
The wild part is I have seen some woman mentioning they are in the IT field on OKC. For a split second I thought about using OKC to try to land a job in IT.
My biggest regret thus far in the online dating scene is falling out of touch with a lab assistant I had been going out with on and off for a few months. She was the only woman who could hold my attention full time, our conversations always veered into some scientific or philosophical discourse and any subject that came to us we could talk about at length for hours. Alas, I was too naive and commitment-shy to recognize what was in front of me.
In short, online dating generally sucks but there's always somebody who you will get along with, provided you aren't enslaved to your own preconceptions, and have the wisdom to see when you've got a good thing going. For many people, I suspect they in fact meet compatible partners but are blind to them, as happened to me. Complaints of height bias, race bias, or other such extraneous factors, while true, are more often than not merely symptoms of deeper problems or insecurities that lie within the persons themselves.
In short, online dating generally sucks but there's always somebody who you will get along with, provided you aren't enslaved to your own preconceptions, and have the wisdom to see when you've got a good thing going. For many people, I suspect they in fact meet compatible partners but are blind to them, as happened to me. Complaints of height bias, race bias, or other such extraneous factors, while true, are more often than not merely symptoms of deeper problems or insecurities that lie within the persons themselves.
kavanf1
Member
Ethan and Hila try Tinder:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmXEVna7LNw
Funny how much discussion they have related to this thread.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmXEVna7LNw
Funny how much discussion they have related to this thread.
RiderKairuu
Member
Watched this last night and my first thought was this thread. Poor Ethan
Bruce Springsteen
Member
It's not romantic and most girls don't like to admit they met a guy on tinder or online but that's the 2016 digital reality for many people
How my last few Tinder exchanges went
(Using fake names to protect the innocence)
This happened 4 times in a row
Girl-Hey Mark!
Me - Hey what's going on Lisa, what are you doing in that third picture? Never seen that before
Girl - Listen Babe I have to get off tinder before my boyfriend meets me, find me on sluttytinderdates dot com
So after hours of this....finally connect with someone else, fleshed out profile, normal pictures, etc etc
Girl - hey, love your pictures especially the second one
Me - Thanks, had to get up early for that one, picture 4 from the wax museum in the city?
Girl - it's great
Me - wait are you a bot?
Girl - my vacation starts today
Me - don't do it
Girl - and I'm feeling kinda horny
Me - no no no no
Girl - why don't you watch me strip at "sluttytinder dot com"
Me - motherfucker
And then I deleted my account, fuck tinder
(Using fake names to protect the innocence)
This happened 4 times in a row
Girl-Hey Mark!
Me - Hey what's going on Lisa, what are you doing in that third picture? Never seen that before
Girl - Listen Babe I have to get off tinder before my boyfriend meets me, find me on sluttytinderdates dot com
So after hours of this....finally connect with someone else, fleshed out profile, normal pictures, etc etc
Girl - hey, love your pictures especially the second one
Me - Thanks, had to get up early for that one, picture 4 from the wax museum in the city?
Girl - it's great
Me - wait are you a bot?
Girl - my vacation starts today
Me - don't do it
Girl - and I'm feeling kinda horny
Me - no no no no
Girl - why don't you watch me strip at "sluttytinder dot com"
Me - motherfucker
And then I deleted my account, fuck tinder
The Elite
BOSS
Hey Bokeh,
How's it going. I find your GAF posts really sexy. I need to log off now, my boyfriend's coming.
How about you watch me strip on sluttytinder dot com.
hydrophilic attack
Member
if gaf could get you laid i would be swimming in pussy
Jawmuncher
Member
Watched this last night and my first thought was this thread. Poor Ethan
The swiping montage and aftermath is how its been for me almost exactly.
Morrigan Stark
Arrogant Smirk
LMAO
If it's any consolation, BokehKing, you've given me good entertainment tonight. (And no, not a bot I swear! Find me on... ok I won't)
RiderKairuu
Member
I missed the boat on all this online dating stuff, but I imagine it would be the same for me too.
I was in a club and this exchange happened between a guy who was like 5'5 and a girl sci was like 6 foot.
Guy : hi how are you?
Girl: haha no. I am like 17" taller than you.
She walks of laughing. The guy brushes it off and when she returns he says "that just means I don't have to lean to kiss you". She was less than impressed.
Guy : hi how are you?
Girl: haha no. I am like 17" taller than you.
She walks of laughing. The guy brushes it off and when she returns he says "that just means I don't have to lean to kiss you". She was less than impressed.
Sorry to bump an "old" thread but this thread was relevant to my experiences.
I decided to give internet dating another shot and like many was overwhelmed by the amount of women with "shopping lists" of what they want out of a man.
The lists tend to be a recurring theme, height, and body.
It's fine to have a criteria you look for. We all do, the issue with internet dating in my opinion though is that it seems to have vastly over inflated people's perceptions of themselves due to the attention they get.
I see some women for example who state they want a tall guy, who looks after himself, and has a good job, nothing wrong with that is there right?
But they are unemployed, very overweight and have 4 kids.
I don't know I just believe some people aren't that realistic. But the other issue is that the internet seems to almost be breeding serial daters, if someone has just one minor fault, they move on as there's always 500 people just one click away. They think the grass is greener, but smetimes the grass is only greener where you water it, but nowadays people don't want to put the work in.
It's all well and good suggesting people just go out, but that's not always possible, especially as you get older and hold down a full time job. Meeting people in clubs and bars has never been the foundation of finding a long term relationship in my opinion, and I'd never want to get involved with someone at work incase it goes to shit as it would be very awkward.
Anyway as someone who is only 5ft8 internet dating is pointless for me, I'm pretty much out of the question for most women straight off the bat. What's ironic is often in the real world I get attention from women that are my height and sometimes even slightly taller lol.
While I might have to put my flamesuit on I don't think I'd agree that men are actually pickier and put more pressure on women to look a certain way. Women tend to have far more criteria a man needs to meet nowadays. Internet dating magnifies this.
Ah well....
I don't agree with that, at least someone overweight has a choice, they could do something to lose the weight.
What can a short guy do lol
I decided to give internet dating another shot and like many was overwhelmed by the amount of women with "shopping lists" of what they want out of a man.
The lists tend to be a recurring theme, height, and body.
It's fine to have a criteria you look for. We all do, the issue with internet dating in my opinion though is that it seems to have vastly over inflated people's perceptions of themselves due to the attention they get.
I see some women for example who state they want a tall guy, who looks after himself, and has a good job, nothing wrong with that is there right?
But they are unemployed, very overweight and have 4 kids.
I don't know I just believe some people aren't that realistic. But the other issue is that the internet seems to almost be breeding serial daters, if someone has just one minor fault, they move on as there's always 500 people just one click away. They think the grass is greener, but smetimes the grass is only greener where you water it, but nowadays people don't want to put the work in.
It's all well and good suggesting people just go out, but that's not always possible, especially as you get older and hold down a full time job. Meeting people in clubs and bars has never been the foundation of finding a long term relationship in my opinion, and I'd never want to get involved with someone at work incase it goes to shit as it would be very awkward.
Anyway as someone who is only 5ft8 internet dating is pointless for me, I'm pretty much out of the question for most women straight off the bat. What's ironic is often in the real world I get attention from women that are my height and sometimes even slightly taller lol.
While I might have to put my flamesuit on I don't think I'd agree that men are actually pickier and put more pressure on women to look a certain way. Women tend to have far more criteria a man needs to meet nowadays. Internet dating magnifies this.
Ah well....
I don't agree with that, at least someone overweight has a choice, they could do something to lose the weight.
What can a short guy do lol
flintstryker
Banned
Since this thread got bumped, I should ask, has anyone else noticed all their matches just keep dissapearing after the most recent update? only thing that seems to work in uninstalling the app as I can't logout either and each time I reinstall the same shit happens after a while again.
The shopping list item that annoys me most is the beard requirement. Do dudes on Tinder have shopping lists? I imagine I'd be labeled as a chauvinist if I listed that I like women with a big ass.
Most of my Tinder interactions go like this..
Me: Hey how are you today?
Girl: I'm good
Me: Doing anything fun this weekend?
Girl: Yeah I'm going out with friends
Me: Sweet, what do you do for work?
Girl: I'm in sales
Just me asking questions and them not bothering to ask anything back. Why is so hard to have a normal conversation on Tinder? I imagine I'd have better luck just asking to meet right away with out the small talk on Tinder, but if someone can't even have a basic texting conversation I doubt they'll be very engaging in person.
I was reading this article yesterday: "What its like when your Tinder date lives across the U.S.-Mexico border".
I found this bit amusing.
http://fusion.net/story/357131/tinder-united-states-mexico-border/
I found this bit amusing.
http://fusion.net/story/357131/tinder-united-states-mexico-border/
I'll propose, why worry about a woman with a shopping list? If that is what they are after(a checklist of things), most likely they aren't going to find it. So why let it bother you? It's more of a giant red flag for yourself indicating that person isn't worth pursuing a relationship anyways.
So... swipe right on that shit either way. Hey, they may want all of that to date, but maybe not for a lonely night and just move on to the next.
So... swipe right on that shit either way. Hey, they may want all of that to date, but maybe not for a lonely night and just move on to the next.
Yeah I think if I wrote a list stating things like body type, hair color etc I'd be viewed in a negative light.
But it seems acceptable for women to do it online. Again I want to emphasize that I know we all have preferences, and if people want to filter potential matches out on arbitrary criteria then that's their prerogative.
But seeing things like "if you're under 6ft, and don't have abs don't even waste your time messaging me" is eye opening.
Although in a way it's a good thing, I don't think I'd want someone that shallow.
IISANDERII
Member
Yep and when reality hits after some years, people become far more flexible. I've had way more sex in my 30's than I did in my 20's.
100% agree.
Dusk Soldier
Member
The trick when you're a short guy is to go for tall women.
Women average height and shorter can be pretty unreasonably picky about height. Some do find excessive height intimidating, but it's a toss up here.
Women taller than average (5-8 - 6') still have reasonable hope of finding a guy taller than them, so they generally look for tall guys.
Freakishly tall women (6'+) are already used to being taller than most men they meet, and due to the slim prospects when it comes to taller guys, many women in this height range begrudgingly accept they're not going to find a taller mate and are more open to average height men or shorter.
So yeah, stay away from the middle range and you should do better.
Dice//
Banned
This is like my biggest pet peeve. I had to deal with this recently and it's so awkward when the conversation could literally double in length (and triple in interest?!) if the other goddamn person would ask a goddamn question back.
I agree with that. As you say if someone values certain superficial qualities above everything else it tells me all I need to know about them.
What worries me isn't really the fact a woman in isolation puts a shopping list of wants, it's the fact of how many woman do it nowadays.
I feel this has stemmed from the amount of attention some women get, sometimes getting more attention online than they would in real life, and this over inflates their self worth.
I'm generalising of course, and you can be short, tall, ugly, good looking, skinny, fat or whatever and still find someone online, it might be harder of course if you don't possess certain criteria.
I guess ultimately internet dating for someone like me feels like too much "work", meeting someone should be fun, exciting and enjoyable. But it feels like a chore for me.
To be fair, those are some boring ass questions. You aren't even giving them anything to ask back other than the same thing you just asked.
I'm a 5'6" Asian guy (ie. The least likely demographic to get a response online) and still had women messaging me. You can't blame your lack of success only on height. If you don't want to be judged solely on looks and height, get off Tinder. There are other sites where you can make your profile/personality stand out. If someone is writing you off because of who you are, it is their loss and you will have to the benefit of not having to give them another thought instead of discovering their superficiality later on.
Rimon-hanit
Member
oh come the fuck on.
It was just an example, and asking the same question back is a basic conversation skill.
Ugh, same here. It's like this on OKCupid as well. I just drop these after 5 or so messages when it's clear she isn't going to interact.
I don't think I got self-steem issues because of it, but it has definitely changed my dating "habits", so to speak. I've become increasingly flakey and often lose interest if things didn't really click in a big way in the first date, even if the date went relatively well. The constant availability of new people makes it so its perhaps too easy to disregard someone for the next one that can potentially click better.
I know it's been covered by a few here but... I'm pretty sure they are thinking you aren't the most engaging person either. You know how many dudes are asking her what she does, how she is doing, and other lame ass questions like that?
If girls match you this is the kind of shit you throw at them unless you are a 10 physically you aren't gonna get many dates. Be engaging yourself before you accuse others of not being engaging.
To be fair, people aren't on Tinder to have 'basic texting conversation' and those questions are pretty basic. Ask something more interesting than 'where do you work?'.
Krauser Kat
Member
tinder is awesome.
Two weeks in i have 197 matches and 20 some conversations and have been on 4 dates mostly because i really liked the second girl and have been pushing off the others.
Two weeks in i have 197 matches and 20 some conversations and have been on 4 dates mostly because i really liked the second girl and have been pushing off the others.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Put yourself on the other side of that conversation: are these interesting questions? They get these same questions dozens of times a day. Start witty banter or ask questions related to their stated interests. STAND OUT.
Yup. I'm not a looker, but I've got a lot of matches who found my profile funny and thought I sounded interesting (joke's on them). Been on quite a few dates and met some interesting people. Folks who keep getting matches and find people falling off interest-wise need to work on their communication skills.
Also I suggest getting out of the Tinder app as soon as you think they're comfortable with the idea.
thelatestmodel
Junior, please.
Yes. Not to mention the constant "Finding people near you" bug. Straight up embarrassing levels of QA.
The app is basically collapsing into a broken, charred heap at this point.
Okay, I'll stand out, above the crowd, even if I got to shout out loud.
Amibguous Cad
Member
There's just a bit of schadenfreude with the shoe on the other foot, but yeah, this is a problem. I'm not sure this is soluble barring destroying a lot of the gender roles that at least exacerbate the tendency for men to pursue and women to be pursued (in nature it's usually the other way round, though humanity is exceptional in a lot of ways).
I hope things get better for straight males (seriously). And kinda wish they could just cross over to the other side. It's just so different from my experience. Not having millenia of patriarchy and demographic weirdness fuck up my gay dating life is so damn nice. Grindr's so much better than tinder. Most people can't or won't bihack, understandably so, but I hope they find something like that eventually.
I hope things get better for straight males (seriously). And kinda wish they could just cross over to the other side. It's just so different from my experience. Not having millenia of patriarchy and demographic weirdness fuck up my gay dating life is so damn nice. Grindr's so much better than tinder. Most people can't or won't bihack, understandably so, but I hope they find something like that eventually.
Krauser Kat
Member
Things i get asked about the most.
My cute animal (a corgi)
My Hobby/Passion (Painting)
Being a Feminist.
Actually doing something fun.
None of those are based on looks. They all pertain to me as a person that people find attractive or enough to have them want to contact me.
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