You live your entire life as a criminal in a desert. The only companionship you have a talking cat. One day, desperate for something of worth in your dirt-ridden existence, you try to rob a teenage girl, a pig, and a small boy. The small boy kicks your teeth out after seeing a girl makes you bashful and embarrassed, and peeping a titty makes you pass out.
When confronted with the possibility of having any wish granted by a magical dragon, your wish would be "I don't want to drop spaghetti while looking at a lady"
You then spend days creeping on these folks, watching for a way to achieve this lofty goal, you are forced to hit a little girl (one of your few [only?] victories) and then hit on her.
Eventually you are captured and saved only when the little kid turns into a giant monkey. The pig does more than you to save the day.
But it's okay, right? You finally got a girlfriend. Well, kind of. You don't really see each other that often.
You decide to show the world your stuff and enter into the Tenkaichi Budokai, the greatest martial arts tournament of all time. You are immediately eliminated in the quarter finals by an old man nobody's heard of before. You embarrass and humiliate yourself by insisting that it's a different old man in disguise before being proven a fool.
The next time you hear from Goku, he's taking on terrorist Nazis or some crazy shit. So you gear up to raid the Hydra base and... you're not needed at all. You get a sinking feeling in your heart, like this won't be getting old soon.
You help Goku fight the fortune teller's fighters. An invisible man beats you up and you barely win when your girlfriend's boobs are gawked at by an old man. You are then beaten up by a mummy... (con't)