"The Reviving Lion"
Cicada's are buzzing, it must still be summer in Karakura Town. Some kids catch the noisy bug and run off...past Ichigo's house. Kon is sitting with the other stuffed animals in Yuzu's room. She is sowing him an outfit.
Yikes, a new outfit for Bostov. Needs embroidery...but she's all out so she's going to the store. The spotlight lands on Kon. It's day 175 of his imprisonment in this toy (I've done the math before, Kon or the writers can't count.) He can't deal with playing house anymore and especially not that outfit. He tries to make a break for it but gasp, he's been sown together by his hands to stupid and stupider over here! Human Centipede 3! That can only mean one thing...
Bleach 50 is a Kon episode. But not just any Kon episode, on no as another favorite character drives up to Itsygo's house.
THE SPIRITS ARE ALWAYS WITH YOU! Don Kanonji spirits his way in! The Cicada kids totally messed up his catchphrase so he starts over when Karin knocks him in the head with her soccer ball. Customer parking only, move along, geezer. Long time no see, Karakura Red. Not long enough. Damn that ether. He's hurt but she continues to burn his soul by asking why he's not working in the middle of the day. He claims that tv shows are taped months in advance and that the network can't wait to renew his contract while the background shows the execs fast asleep without a care in the world. That's funny, she heard he was getting canceled and that his ratings suck. He admits that if he loses one more sponsor he'll be back to "selling used cars at midnight on cable" He came to enlist her in a "special training session to protect this town against evil spirits. BWAHAHAHAHA. She wants to know what this is really about. Reviving the show with a ratings boost...by reviving the Karakura SUPER HEROES! She thinks it is a waste of time and goes home...just as Kon makes his break from the top floor window.
Stupid and stupider are heavier than they look and Kon plummets directly onto Don Kanonji! Kon is spotted by the creepy man and pretends to be a robot, but fails when Don tricks him with the old silver dollar on the ground routine. He's an evil spirit!
Kon tries...a different approach. He's Bostov, stitched together with Buri and Puri and is a super hero...as he tries to book it. Don Kanonji catches up quickly and subdues him, taking a big long whiff in the process. He doesn't smell evil so he concludes Kon is a weird spirit instead. Don realizes that his super hero squad needs a mascot to be complete anyways and dragoons Kon to put them over the top. Kon is reluctant until Don tries asking him if he'd want to be a hero. For real? Yes, a hero of a justice!
Kon...thinks this might improve his love life and throws off his magical girl outfit and his two sidekicks and joins up with the Karakura Super Heroes...as Kon...the Karakura King! Just then Yuzu comes back and starts doing Don Kanonji's catchphrase as Kon is frozen. Yuzu wants to know if he's here filming another spirit hunter episode. Nope, he's getting the band back together and introduces his newest member...Karakura King! Kon is LEGIT SHOOK. Sure looks a lot like a friend of hers...She doesn't recognize him! She shakes his paw and is amazed he can talk. Don asks if Karakura Yellow is ready to join, and she is! She also made an outfit for "Bostov's Boyfriend" that looks to fit Kon. Kon...wishes Yuzu had figured out he was a male stuffed animal as this costume is bad ass.
Well, maybe not bad ass. Yuzu is impressed but Don needs to pull the rest of the squad out of the ground like Taters as the evil centipede hollow in the sky starts its evil Non-Canon plan. Kon leads the way astonishing Yuzu, she didn't know he could walk! Nothing less from the Karakura King! He can also jump rope, she claps! All Bostov does is sleep, but she knows what she dreams about, having a boyfriend or pretty girls clothes. "Pretty girls without clothes, you mean" Oh Kon, what a card. Just then someone throws a bunch of trash on Don and Kon gets sprayed by the hose. The trash and the water from Ururu. Kon knows immediately where they are. Don wants their help but Jinta was grounded for six months the last time he helped. He's got nothing against Yuzu but he'll never take orders from Don Kanonji again. Yuzu asks again sweetly and he joins up. Karakura Red, here we go again! Ururu warns what Mr. Tessai would do if they goofed off again...
Stomp him in the nuts nuts stomp him in the nuts. He never wants to feel that again but Yuzu assures him they'll be fine if they do it together...He'll do it and he volunteers Ururu to share in the punishment when they get caught.
Kon is worried about the makeup of their team; A goof-ball in a clown suit, a psycho runt, a space cadet, and a monster disguised as a girl. He tries to run but is cornered as they ask in unison where does he think he's going? Wouldn't want to miss out on training as Yuzu puts on her demonic face. Kon is scared shitless. The training begins as Kon is doing a headstand on a water bubbler with his teeth grasping the faucet. Jinta begins a countdown and blasts him off.
Next Yuzu puts him in a gigantic dress and they chant in front of him like a bunch of cultists. He asks what this is for and its learning to be FAB-UL-OUS. Yuzu pulls the cord on the side of the dress before asking what it does, it sends fireworks out everywhere. Ururu made the dress and is disappointed, it would have been a lot prettier at night. Kon is none too pleased and runs off. Karin has a headache and goes looking for her sister, who isn't there. Kon is looking for is own salvation, crying out for Rukia...before a giant shadow descends over him as he yells. The rest of the Karakura team goes looking for them. They can't find a trace...until they hear him, he's in the centipede hollow's mouth! Yuzu can't see this one and thinks Karakura King learned to fly.
Don Kanonji can't stand this anymore and the music kicks up. The mission is to save the Karakura King for the newly revived super hero squad. The centipede takes Kon to the mountain and he begs for his life, saying he is only cotton and wouldn't taste very good. The centipede tells him not to worry, she's not going to eat him. She can talk? What's her plan? To take him home and give him "good lovin'" C'mon my little flat faced lion, don't worry, she's a professional. This is bananas.
Kon says farewell to Rukia, Orihime, and all the beautiful girls he never got the chance to meet. Hold it right there, The spirits are always with you as Jinta and Ururu jump into action. Yuzu also introduces herself to the hollow she can't see. Centipede lady won't give up her flat faced lover without a fight though. She won't take any interfere in her love life and brings down one nasty looking appendage, which Pink and Red dodge as it lands right in front of Yuzu. A willing victim to taste her claws? Red and Pink won't make it on time...but Karin jumps out of nowhere to save the day. Karakura Red saved the day, oh not this again. She was having headaches because hollows were in town and went after Yuzu. In the frenzy Karakura King made his escape and is tiptoeing away. Karin thinks it is Bostov. Karin is just the one to help. Centipede notices her lion lover has absconded and both Karakura Reds race off to help. They double axe kick the centipede in the head as Kon continues to run. They have a verbal exchange while they take it to the Hollow. She's had enough of their garbage and starts up a twister. Both Reds attempt to save Yuzu but knock each other on the head. Ururu saves Kon but then rips his head clean off his body and uses him as a Volleyball!
Karakura Storm Serve! Ginta volleys it with a homerun swing and Karin does a bicycle goal kick. The Ultimate Karakura Buster attack. Kon can see eternity there to suck him in as a white light forms and the Centipede blows up. Kon wakes up and wants to know if an angel saved him. Nope, it's just Yuzu. He didn't sacrifice himself. Don Kanonji filmed the whole thing with a camera man in a Solid Snake like box that had been there the whole time. Looks like he is back in business! Yuzu wonders how Karakura King is doing as she looks back to Bostov. Don't worry, she hasn't forgotten you and is making her a new outfit as the episode ends.
NEXT EPISODE: "New School Term, Renji Has Come to the Material World?!"
