Yeah, I think his view is an admirable one, if he is also able to understand that it is not universal, and is also able to understand that lots of people just want to fit in, and there is nothing wrong with that.
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Transgaf: 'cause boys will be girls (and vice versa)
- Thread starter lexi
- Start date
Yeah, I think his view is an admirable one, if he is also able to understand that it is not universal, and is also able to understand that lots of people just want to fit in, and there is nothing wrong with that.
I think that's where things are falling apart, trans people understand its hard, but it somehow paradoxically makes it easier to comprehend for them while at the same time making it harder for outsiders to even empathize.
But he's not attempting to empathize. He dismisses gender as something that should matter to someone.
I mean, it's certainly a kind of catch-22 for cis people. But I think he should just realize that the vast majority of trans people don't have the luxury of living such an enlightened view of gender identity, even if they wish they could. Obviously he's been supportive of his friend, which is unquestionably the most important thing to take from this. But he also said his friend was frustrated with his view, so if any of this has helped him see why that might be hopefully he'll consider it a worthwhile experience (even if he feels like he may have been driven out, which I hope isn't the case).
That, to me, speaks to how foreign the idea is to them. The fact that they are posting in an insular thread like this one shows a bit of openness about learning more on the subject and not just being judgemental.
E: I think this response can apply to thatbox too.
Yeah, I absolutely know that we could have handled this situation better. Too, though, on that same page we had a drive-by suicide poster, so I hope onlookers can understand where some of the reactionary hackle-raising comes from. If we really have driven usea out of the thread it will only be our loss, because allies of any flavor can only be an asset and we need to learn how to incorporate them into the community as much as possible.
I want to reiterate again that the most important thing to take out of the whole dustup is that usea is supporting his friend, which in the end is the best anyone can do.
Agreed, I don't think you drove usea out(this gaf you checkout but you can never leave).
I lurk this thread a lot, like a lot of people, but like I mentioned its a bit daunting to post in between cheezmo's fantasies.
When I came out to my mom, she was accepting, but the one thing she said was that she wanted me to see if I could get a test to see if maybe my hormone levels were off, and if that was the reason why I felt like this.
I tried to tell her that that alone wouldn't be the sole cause of what I'm dealing with, but I tried to also accept her wondering that. If if suggestions like that may not have any real connection, you still try to be respectful of the person and their attempt to at least try to help in whatever small ways they're able to understand at that point.
And while I might not totally agree, I can totally understand where uses was/is coming from, and I don't think his (?) opinion is really a terrible one. I mean, really—if we had a society that could see people blind of gender, that'd be pretty swell! The truth is, we don't have that world, and even more importantly, that's not what some of us want. I don't care if I could live out my life however I want in the body I have now—I don't want that body! I want the body that I'd feel comfortable in, even if the only difference that'd make is how I see myself. Even if 100% of the people in my life are perfectly comfortable with me however I am, I'm not comfortable with myself, and that's the most important opinion on the issue.
Femmeworth
Banned
My parents did the same thing. -_- I imagine they will bring it up again when I actually start to transition.
Did you tell her your testosterone is too high and your estrogen too low
I should have!
Instigator
Banned
Why is having a different opinion and expressing it articulately an account suicide attempt? I know GAF moderation is quick on the trigger sometimes, but I always find it disturbing when regular members so easily turn into a mob and demand blood.
alysonwheel
Member
Is there a secret handbook parents get or something? That's almost word for word what my mum said.
Articulately? Surely you jest. Would you defend that kind of post in a gay thread? Someone linking an article about Matthew shepherd and saying 'dangers of being a fag'?
Instigator
Banned
I think if you want the right comparison, it's more accurate to say "sexual orientation is irrelevant" in the gay thread or something along those lines. Still a strange thing to say, but not as controversial. You could post the same thing in a straight dating thread, just like his comments about gender would be relevant in a non-transGAF thread about men and women.
Talking about his friend and how they view things differently (in details no less) is not a crime, even if he's in the "wrong."
But silly me, I thought this was actually a discussion forum. Just send me the TransGAF newsletter and let's not bother talking.
AceBandage
Banned
Aw, man. I want an invitation to Discourse. It's the best club this side of New York.
Instigator
Banned
Well, he parked his car, lit up a smoke and made a few phone calls on his cell while leaning against his car.
Not much of a drive-by.
We're talking about the wrong guy. I'm talking about the guy who said 'trannyism is hazardous to your health' while linking an article about a murdered trans woman.
Instigator
Banned
Yeah, that seems obvious now.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.
AceBandage
Banned
Don't mind 60gig. He's just as bad on Gaming Side.
Wow, impressive talk! Easy to follow, so perfect to share.
*Adds to bookmarks*
(One question, though: I thought the international symbol was different than this one, like a combination of both 'points' to the upper left. Or is that because the presentation is from 2009?)
It's a shame because 60GB PS3s are awesome
Dr.Palutena
Member
You're uhm just working on your impressions...>_>...yea thats right.
Femmeworth
Banned
We're being watched. D:
Dr.Palutena
Member
Your apartment wants to be a cave, I think you should respect it's decision.
Trying to educate myself on transgenderism after Laura Jane Grace came out (aka Tom Gabel).
Here's a tweet:
http://yfrog.com/h8x0feuj
She's taking her first Estradiol, Progesterone and Spironolactone pills. What's she to except in these first few weeks?
Their first show after the coming out is May 25th. I might be seeing them in Pittsburgh on June 3rd, though I don't really care for the main band and AM! is just an opener so I dunno. Wonder if she'll be dressed as a woman already for these shows? I would guess so, but it seems like it's still the early transitioning phase.
Got the book "Whipping Girl" out at the library. It was mentioned in the Rolling Stone article so I thought I'd give it a read.
Here's a tweet:
http://yfrog.com/h8x0feuj
She's taking her first Estradiol, Progesterone and Spironolactone pills. What's she to except in these first few weeks?
Their first show after the coming out is May 25th. I might be seeing them in Pittsburgh on June 3rd, though I don't really care for the main band and AM! is just an opener so I dunno. Wonder if she'll be dressed as a woman already for these shows? I would guess so, but it seems like it's still the early transitioning phase.
Got the book "Whipping Girl" out at the library. It was mentioned in the Rolling Stone article so I thought I'd give it a read.
Professor Beef
Banned
Now I can brag to people that I knew you before you became an internet sensation!
I responded to her in a way that probably came off as insulting, but it's true- your first few days/weeks of hormones you're going to be, well, hormonal. In my case I was bitchy and tired all the time. That's a more aggressive treatment than I had, so it'll likely affect her moreso. Eventually it normalizes and you just feel fine, even increases in dosage don't impact you that much. (Except when I went from 1.5mg to 2.5mg and wanted to be as pretty as possible all the time. That was a little out of character.)
She'll wear what she feels like. I'm conservative in my overall transition, so I still go out in 'boy mode' 95% of the time. But if she's confident and comfortable (and she's a punk rock lead singer, of course she is), then she'll wear whatever she damn well pleases.
CrocMother
Banned
That was fascinating, thank you.
"IT'S NOT FAIR IT'S NOT FAIR IT'S NOT FAIR" is flying around my skull and won't leave.
And I feel like an ugly, terrible person inside.
Sorry to see you're feeling down, I'm sure it'll pass after a good night's sleep!
all of you are beautiful, wonderful people who are helping me way more than i deserve
i think im calming down
cried more than i have in a decade
The key is to keep hitting on her in IRC and leave comments on all of her Facebook photos
InfiniteNine
Rolling Girl
You sure look cool there billie. O:
*pats shidoshi*
*pats shidoshi*
Professor Beef
Banned
Maybe I should bug Lissar more...
Femmeworth
Banned
Billie, we're concerned for you.
Billie, we're concerned for you.
I'm not gonna change my avatar again! I promise!
I swear on my love to you, Femmeworth!
Seriously. The jealousy in me is hard to contain at this point!
That, and I have very few people from here friended on Facebook.
InfiniteNine
Rolling Girl
I wish Neil Patrick Harris was at my intervention.
That, and I have very few people from here friended on Facebook.
I could always use more friends