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Transgaf: 'cause boys will be girls (and vice versa)

Dai101

Banned
Length isn't everything - what you do with it is also super important.

And yes, I AM still taking about hair. *heh*

niZtxbK.jpg
 

mollipen

Member
You can also look into Curly Girl Method if you plan on growing it out a bit. At least, that's what I plan on doing.

Even so, depending on what curl type you have, there could be some lengths where it's just going to be awkward no matter what. Even if I knew then what I know now, I think I still would have hated my hair during that initial period of growing it out.

Definitely, though, if you're going to grow your hair out and you have curly hair, do some research. It'll help you get through that early period, and you'll need to know proper hair care anyhow.

I do curly girl method + proper products + other steps, and my hair still isn't what I wish it was. Unfortunately truth is that if you've got super curly hair and it isn't what you want, you'll either have to go the route of professional straightening or learn to live with what you've got.

Of course, as much as my hair drives me crazy, I constantly have other women telling me how much they wish they had my hair. *heh*
 

Facism

Gold Member
Of course, as much as my hair drives me crazy, I constantly have other women telling me how much they wish they had my hair. *heh*

Do any of them ask to smell it? When i had long hair (lovely natural vertical curls) women would always lament how they didn't have it naturally and then would always want to smell it. Good thing i washed it lol.

Now i don't have long hair, they all want to play with my beard.
 
NoRéN;65527751 said:
Need some opinions as to whether or not I handled this well.

Met a girl at a friend's party. My girlfriend and I both agreed that she was really attractive. Then we found out she is pre-op transexual. I'm just not sexually attracted to penises so that was that. off the table.
Had a party at my place last night and she was invited. Lots of drinking and talking, everything was going fine. She was flirting with my girlfriend the entire night and when her group of friends were ready to leave she said she would leave later. She stuck around until everyone left and that's when it happened. She kissed my girlfriend. Here's where the night went bad.
I said something like "woah!" simply because I was shocked that she outright did that. I didn't exactly mind but i knew that things could not go further. She turned and said something like "don't worry, you'll get your turn". So we proceeded to explain that we knew she was pre-op and before I could get another word out she became upset. Asked who had told us and started to cry. I explained that i wasn't attracted to penis and my girlfriend let her know that she had never been with someone pre-op and didn't exactly know how she felt about that. She tried to leave but we asked her to wait for us to get her a cab or crash in our guest room. My girlfriend finally convinced her to wait for the cab. I apologized but she seemed angry at me. Cab showed up and she went home.
this morning I wake up to a text from her friend/roommate who was also at the party asking what the hell I had done since the girl showed up at sunrise drunk and upset. i explained what happened and her friend replied apologizing for her and said she knew something like that would happen. I don't know what the means and she has not messaged me since.

I feel like a total asshole for what happened but at the same time i am not sure what i did wrong. Did I fuck up somewhere? Could I have handled the situation differently?

You done fucked up, just by rejecting her. I wouldn't have said no - you don't do penis, right? When you think about it, genitals mean shit, at least to me. Vaginas and cocks aren't mantelpiece arrangements, they're just extra skin and muscle, plus no-one was asking you to shove it in your mouth and you thought the girl was very attractive. I don't really see what the problem is, the worst you'd have to do is see it, and you see your own goddamn penis everyday.

On a different note. I told a swedish trans girl on okc I had a crush on her after chatting to her, very attractive, first time in my life to do that, she stopped talking to me haha. But yeah, overall though, I think if a transgirl is attractive, I don't really have a problem with dating them, and the penis thing for those are pre-op doesn't really bother me, I don't consider myself bi, just straight.

Overall there seems to be a lot of discussion on this topic, but I can never keep up, hurts my head. I try not to think about it too much.
 

Anastasia

Member
Has anyone tried Chrysalis Lingerie? I'm pretty sure they were mentioned before in this thread pre-launch, but I'm curious if anyone here has tried their products since they became available. The prices seem really, really high. :-/
 

Anastasia

Member
I refuse to solely because their site auto-plays audio >:|

Auto-plays audio + it's too flash heavy. Bleh

Expensive, premium prices on ugly lingerie for a demographic that is notoriously poor. I like the idea of a trans clothing line, but fuck Crystalis and fuck my dog for just peeing on my carpet. Goddamit.

Yeah, I was really surprised when I looked at the cost; also, after doing some more research it seems like Chrysalis doesn't really care about their customers and the criticisms they have. I'm going to pass on them.

I wish the state of lingerie for transwomen was better.

I hate when one of my dogs pees on the carpet :-(
 

Anastasia

Member
I refuse to buy any types of clothing via the internet for some reason.

I buy the vast majority of my clothing online (along with all other types of shopping), but the reason is that (1) I'm a very lazy person, and (2) I know my sizing well and what stores work for me. It's important to look for item measurements; either listed on the site or by emailing the store. There's simply a much greater selection online than what I could find locally. If I lived near a place like NYC or London things would be different, but at my current location I prefer shopping online.
 

mollipen

Member
Sometimes I wonder how many guys are out there who wouldn't mind a pre-op girlfriend without being a chaser or something.

Here's a question: how do you define a "chaser"?

I don't mean that in any way against you personally, but as a bigger question. I fully admit to having a terrible dose of yellow fever, and in my younger days I made it a point at times to try to put myself into positions where I might be able to meet potential significant others of the Japanese persuasion.

It was never a case of "I'm only interested in someone if they're Asian" or "I want to have sex with you because you're my fetish", but that was who I was attracted to, so that's the type of person I most went for.

Now, I have to wonder: couldn't I be considered a "chaser" in that regard?

At what point is the line drawn between someone who is simply attracted to people who are trans, and someone who is considered a chaser? I totally understand where the chaser stigma comes from, but I also have to think that if you're someone who simply has that preference but aren't just out to fetishize people, it can be really hard to be taken seriously in your intentions.
 

iirate

Member
Here's a question: how do you define a "chaser"?

I don't mean that in any way against you personally, but as a bigger question. I fully admit to having a terrible dose of yellow fever, and in my younger days I made it a point at times to try to put myself into positions where I might be able to meet potential significant others of the Japanese persuasion.

It was never a case of "I'm only interested in someone if they're Asian" or "I want to have sex with you because you're my fetish", but that was who I was attracted to, so that's the type of person I most went for.

Now, I have to wonder: couldn't I be considered a "chaser" in that regard?

At what point is the line drawn between someone who is simply attracted to people who are trans, and someone who is considered a chaser? I totally understand where the chaser stigma comes from, but I also have to think that if you're someone who simply has that preference but aren't just out to fetishize people, it can be really hard to be taken seriously in your intentions.

My biggest question is "what happens to us when I become post-op?" If they don't care about my op-status, then I don't care about whether they are generally attracted to trans people or not.
 

Anastasia

Member
To me, someone is a "chaser" when they are looking to manipulate that person in order to satisfy a fetish. They don't actually care about that person's feelings or want an actual relationship; it's just sexual manipulation. I think this applies more in the case of a transgender woman or man who is looking for a relationship, rather than a simple hook-up.
 

Amalthea

Banned
Yeah, I mean chasers who are just out for your body. The "If you don't look like a shemale-pornstar, then fuck off!"-type (I think I could even look like that but it's not the point). It's okay to have preferences like ethnicities, sexial orientation, certain body parts. Most people do but it's not nice to reduce your (potential) partners to your sexual fetishes.
 

Dai101

Banned
Sometimes I wonder how many guys are out there who wouldn't mind a pre-op girlfriend without being a chaser or something.

I wouldn't mind. Then again i've never know a transgender person outside of a casual greeting or randomly in the street.

Yeah, I mean chasers who are just out for your body. The "If you don't look like a shemale-pornstar, then fuck off!"-type (I think I could even look like that but it's not the point). It's okay to have preferences like ethnicities, sexial orientation, certain body parts. Most people do but it's not nice to reduce your (potential) partners to your sexual fetishes.

Yeah, i can see that. I, like most males, i'm attracted to girls with big breasts and/or ass. But, i don't reduce my potential partners to only that (it would be very superficial and let's be honest, pretty much unrealistic). For me,personality, what you like, what you don't like, interests, how you see life and every other quirk that make us humans matter more. I don't know, that's my humble opinion.
 

Dai101

Banned
I started hormones yesterday! Probably placebo effect but I feel better and happier.

Congrats, seems like we both started around the sametime. I got mine a week ago and changes are already happening. Fucking breasts are so goddamn sore. :/ Also smoother skin so thats a bonus. My body is reacting well to the medication. Thankfully.

CONGRATS TO BOTH!!

Now, a complimentary drink

wz9yvNN.jpg


Cheers!!
 

Emitan

Member
It really depends on how well your body reacts to the medication. Mine got sore four days into it which I thought was odd. It's uncommon but it can happen. It's fine during the day since I can focus on other things. Attempting to sleep is another manner...

I sleep on my stomach/chest. This doesn't sound good . _ .
 
I started hormones yesterday! Probably placebo effect but I feel better and happier.

Congratuartions!

Unfortunately for me, I'm not sure if my plan on going to therapy will work out, but on the bright side, I'm now in a relationship with someone who's willing to help me transition.
 
That's wonderful! *hugs tight*
Yeah.

Although I will admit I'm a little frightened since we haven't actually met in real life and I'd end up moving to Michigan to live with him.

Then there's the fact that we'd end up moving to Houston a few years after that, but I'd rather not wait till then cause I'm sure the longer I wait, the harder it is. :\

I'll probably move in with him a bit after I turn 18.
 

iirate

Member
I started hormones yesterday! Probably placebo effect but I feel better and happier.

Congrats, seems like we both started around the sametime. I got mine a week ago and changes are already happening. Fucking breasts are so goddamn sore. :/ Also smoother skin so thats a bonus. My body is reacting well to the medication. Thankfully.

Grats to both of you! That's an exciting time!

Oh jeez they'll start hurting that early? ._.

Breast soreness started right around week 5 for me. Week 2 was when a bunch of the early changes hit me all at once(skin, hair, and body odor started changing, and my own sense of smell became more sensitive) and I knew that the 'mones were doing their thing.
 

Milchjon

Member

"...the penchant for wearing clothes of a different age group, class or profession of the same gender/sex [the same word in German] for sexual gratification [not quite the right word, more like relaxation, but that could be a euphemism], related to transvestism."

Sorry for the rough translation.

This is actually quite different from the meaning of cis as in cisgender, right? It only shares the prefix, as in "this side of".

I don't have a problem with the concept of cisgender, btw. But I don't think this serves the argument the headline says it does. It's more of an interesting find and coincidence.
 
"...the penchant for wearing clothes of a different age group, class or profession of the same gender/sex [the same word in German] for sexual gratification [not quite the right word, more like relaxation, but that could be a euphemism], related to transvestism."

Sorry for the rough translation.

This is actually quite different from the meaning of cis as in cisgender, right? It only shares the prefix, as in "this side of".

I don't have a problem with the concept of cisgender, btw. But I don't think this serves the argument the headline says it does. It's more of an interesting find and coincidence.

I think the point is more concepts of a cis/trans nomenclature as terms to be used for these subjects isn't a new concept invented by trans* individuals to "label" cis* individuals . Which is something some have seen others complain about on the internet, naturally cisvestism isn't the same as cisgender much like transvestism isn't the same as transgender.
 

Milchjon

Member
I think the point is more concepts of a cis/trans nomenclature as terms to be used for these subjects isn't a new concept invented by trans* individuals to "label" cis* individuals . Which is something some have seen others complain about on the internet, naturally cisvestism isn't the same as cisgender much like transvestism isn't the same as transgender.

I had a long reply typed out until I realized that it wouldn't necessarily contradict what you said ;-)

I can see how people would put forth the argument you mentioned, but I think the term cisgender is actually very useful, because it supports a change of perspective. Which I guess was the intention behind it.

I just think the link between cisgender and cisvestism in the way the book describes it barely goes beyond the prefix, and there's no real "gotcha" moment here. The prefix cis- isn't exclusive to gender-related language, so it's not a real surprise that some old timey scientist would've used it in a superficially related context.
 

Platy

Member
Also the fact that the entire argument is that "cisgender" is a "made up word" ....


...which ignores the fact that EVERY SINGLE WORD is a "made up word" =P
 
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