Dr.Palutena
Member
welcome friend.
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Transgaf: 'cause boys will be girls (and vice versa)
- Thread starter lexi
- Start date
Princess Viola
Member
wilkommen!Also... um... as this is my first post here... Hello TransGAF!
And just so you know it this is all your fault,you!thank
(that's proper German, right?)
Also... um... as this is my first post here... Hello TransGAF!
And just so you know it this is all your fault,you!thank
We recruit!
Viola of the Abyss
Member
Thanks for the welcome!
I think so, but I wouldn't know as I'm Italian XD
wilkommen!
(that's proper German, right?)
I think so, but I wouldn't know as I'm Italian XD
Did you all read these good news? I remember the awful thread we had about it, but I'm glad it was ruled in her favor! sucks that something as inoffensive as what bathroom she gets to use has to be debated, but in the end she won.
Princess Viola
Member
Hey folks, I thought I'd drop by and introduce myself. I'm cis-male (a term I just learned from an unfortunate source - the Penny Arcade debacle) and I'm here to learn.
Just to give a little background, I have met about a handful of transgender women in my lifetime and all of them have been absolutely lovely. I can't pinpoint why, but during those interactions, I began to get nervous when another party joined the conversation. Like I felt defensive in a sense if anyone began to give these ladies any sort of trouble that I was ready to pounce.
The closest sensation I can give it is what is often attributed to "white guilt". In essence, how a lot of white people tend to act overly nice towards black people due to the negative history in the US (for the record, I'm Asian). I don't believe that I'm being nice out of necessity but I am definitely more aware of my behavior because I get the impression that many people in the transgender community undergo tremendous pressure, strife, hatred and worse on a daily basis.
Here is where I admit that I am ignorant. While I identify as cis-male, I don't hold any particularly strong attachment to my gender identity which is where I have difficulty fully understanding what a transgender person goes through because your gender identity is very important to who you are. If anything, I think I'm the strange one for not caring much about my own gender identity but that's probably because most folks don't discriminate against me for what I identify as my gender.
So to make things short, I enjoy reading about your life experiences because it opens a door to a world I would otherwise have very little understanding or appreciation for. I fully support you all for who you are and am in a ways jealous that many of you know yourselves better than I probably ever will.
Just to give a little background, I have met about a handful of transgender women in my lifetime and all of them have been absolutely lovely. I can't pinpoint why, but during those interactions, I began to get nervous when another party joined the conversation. Like I felt defensive in a sense if anyone began to give these ladies any sort of trouble that I was ready to pounce.
The closest sensation I can give it is what is often attributed to "white guilt". In essence, how a lot of white people tend to act overly nice towards black people due to the negative history in the US (for the record, I'm Asian). I don't believe that I'm being nice out of necessity but I am definitely more aware of my behavior because I get the impression that many people in the transgender community undergo tremendous pressure, strife, hatred and worse on a daily basis.
Here is where I admit that I am ignorant. While I identify as cis-male, I don't hold any particularly strong attachment to my gender identity which is where I have difficulty fully understanding what a transgender person goes through because your gender identity is very important to who you are. If anything, I think I'm the strange one for not caring much about my own gender identity but that's probably because most folks don't discriminate against me for what I identify as my gender.
So to make things short, I enjoy reading about your life experiences because it opens a door to a world I would otherwise have very little understanding or appreciation for. I fully support you all for who you are and am in a ways jealous that many of you know yourselves better than I probably ever will.
This is exactly the same things my parents said when I told them.
To which I mentally replied "Yeah, like I'd be ever get caught by you".
I can only speak about my personal (and fairly recent) experience, but I always felt as my womanly side was something I'd need to hide, due to both fear of what my parents would think/react and social pressure. So I guess it's pretty normal, things should get better with time.
Also... um... as this is my first post here... Hello TransGAF!
And just so you know it this is all your fault,you!thank
Been following you on Twitter for a while and I thought you were a girl. Guess I was right!
A while ago I posted a bout a friend of mine ( I still do not know the proper term for this ) wanting to go through the "transition" ( sorry) , she just needed someone to talk to about it.
She has never really had anyone to talk to about it. For now everything seems fine.
Thanks.
She has never really had anyone to talk to about it. For now everything seems fine.
Thanks.
I wish I had realized it was happening...
400k people showed up! It was hot and steamy! June is pride month worldwide. Usually Houston pride fest is last weekend of June. Next year when June hits, see when Pride is.
Would be nice if I could go next year with my girlfriend.
Well, I've got some good news. While things haven't been great yet with my counselor (Still only had two appointments, so more or less setting things up, getting to know me, etc.), I managed to talk to my Mom about this. More or less, she's completely supportive, wanting me to be comfortable and be able to "be myself". She wants me to understandably take things slow, which makes sense with all the anxiety and depression issues I have, but otherwise, just talk to my counselor and make sure I'm 100% before I take the next step.
Dr.Palutena
Member
I'm so happy to hear that Tenumi. A supportive parent can make a world of difference.
DJ Crimson
Banned
Yea
InfiniteNine
Rolling Girl
Happy Birthday Dai! o:
Also in LA atm got a nice professional haircut and some lazy around clothes. AX this weekend should be fun. *rolls into bed*
Also in LA atm got a nice professional haircut and some lazy around clothes. AX this weekend should be fun. *rolls into bed*
Dr.Palutena
Member
Happy belated dai
IceDoesntHelp
Banned
It's been a very long time.
I have a couple questions.
!. what is the bets way to get hormones without a referral, if any way? (as a way for me to start without her knowing)
2. What's the best way to tell my girlfriend about this, without making her flip shit? (I'm doubting there is a way)
I've already told her twice, every time she breaks out into tears. I don't know what to do anymore.
I don't even know how to break up with her...sigh
Basically I only see my option being to disappear, just run. But that doesn't seem the best way out of this.
The worst part of all of this is she thinks the hormones/estrogen will make me want to suck dick, and get fucked.
Are you kidding me?
and sadly, this thread died pretty quickly I see, unfortunate.
I have a couple questions.
!. what is the bets way to get hormones without a referral, if any way? (as a way for me to start without her knowing)
2. What's the best way to tell my girlfriend about this, without making her flip shit? (I'm doubting there is a way)
I've already told her twice, every time she breaks out into tears. I don't know what to do anymore.
I don't even know how to break up with her...sigh
Basically I only see my option being to disappear, just run. But that doesn't seem the best way out of this.
The worst part of all of this is she thinks the hormones/estrogen will make me want to suck dick, and get fucked.
Are you kidding me?
and sadly, this thread died pretty quickly I see, unfortunate.
Running away seems easy, but in the long run it doesn't really provide closure. It just sows seeds of resentment, both within yourself and other people.
It's really, really, really hard sometimes to be honest and firm with people: but it's the only choice that results in your freedom and her freedom right now. Both of you deserve to be free, and to be loved by someone who accepts you for who you are.
So, my advice isn't easy, but I think it's better that this is taken care of sooner rather than later. Be firm. Communicate clearly that this is who you are. Whether or not you break up or try to make things work, be firm and communicate clearly that this is who you are.
It's tough, but we're rooting for you.
It's really, really, really hard sometimes to be honest and firm with people: but it's the only choice that results in your freedom and her freedom right now. Both of you deserve to be free, and to be loved by someone who accepts you for who you are.
So, my advice isn't easy, but I think it's better that this is taken care of sooner rather than later. Be firm. Communicate clearly that this is who you are. Whether or not you break up or try to make things work, be firm and communicate clearly that this is who you are.
It's tough, but we're rooting for you.
IceDoesntHelp
Banned
Only problem is with that scenario or any scenario really, is that I have nowhere to go. No friends, no family...nothing.
Princess Viola
Member
Happy belated birthday Dai!
IceDoesntHelp
Banned
Just wanted to say thank you to all those who helped me tonight on IRC!
I had fun talking to all of you, I hope I can do it again soon! (tomorrow night is my best bet!)
I had fun talking to all of you, I hope I can do it again soon! (tomorrow night is my best bet!)
DJ Crimson
Banned
Yea
InfiniteNine
Rolling Girl
Bleh random guy on the street. I'm going to bed.
IceDoesntHelp
Banned
Tried one last time, and well I'm shit out of luck. No way its going to happen in this relationship. I have to get out asap ):
Dr.Palutena
Member
-Hugs- what's important is for you to be who you are and to stay safe.
Princess Viola
Member
Not really sure how relevant this is to the thread, but I just realized that since I've graduated from high school, now there's one less thing to prevent me from moving forward.
Brian Griffin
Member
Congrats! Each barrier broken counts.
Lee Chaolan
Member
The other day I went out to dinner with my mom and sister. When the waitress came to our table she said anything to drink, ladies?
Yay ^_^
Princess Viola
Member
That's great!The other day I went out to dinner with my mom and sister. When the waitress came to our table she said anything to drink, ladies?
The other day I went out to dinner with my mom and sister. When the waitress came to our table she said anything to drink, ladies?
That's awesome!
Hello everyone. I have been in denial about being trans for a long time and have this topic to thank for finally accepting it. Thank you all. I would have posted sooner but I wasn't sure if I would get banned for bumping it or not.
DJ Crimson
Banned
Yea
So... things haven't been that great for me. Yes, I have been talking to my Mom about things, as well as my counselor, but it feels like things are falling apart for me. My depression has been really severe lately. No, no self-harming, just self-doubting, not wanting to wake up in the morning, wanting everything over with. It took a bit for me to try to get through my Mom's mind that I don't want to "be just some crossdresser". I feel like I'm more knowledgable about the topic than my own counselor, which doesn't help. And worse yet....
I've got the feelings of doubt in my mind? Who am I? What am I? For a while, it felt like there were two bubbles in my mind: One large one, and one small one. The large one was my main feelings, the ones that were making me happy: Complete acceptance of myself as Transgender, comfort thinking about the future, stuff like that. The small bubble was, for lack of a better term, Male me, concerned about whether this is the best thing for myself, whether it's truely what I want. After one of my appointments, I had some thoughts flow through my head about what it'd be like to be a parent, specifically a father.
What's going through my mind now is, Do I want this, or do I feel like I need this to truely be myself? Am I using this as an escape because of my anxiety and depression? Its like that small bubble has now taken over my mind, filling it with doubt.
*Sigh*
Random side note: My Mom forced me to get a haircut today. I had pretty good length hair, now down to practically nothing. I miss my hair. I miss the independent flow it had... moving my head to feel it lag behind...
I've got the feelings of doubt in my mind? Who am I? What am I? For a while, it felt like there were two bubbles in my mind: One large one, and one small one. The large one was my main feelings, the ones that were making me happy: Complete acceptance of myself as Transgender, comfort thinking about the future, stuff like that. The small bubble was, for lack of a better term, Male me, concerned about whether this is the best thing for myself, whether it's truely what I want. After one of my appointments, I had some thoughts flow through my head about what it'd be like to be a parent, specifically a father.
What's going through my mind now is, Do I want this, or do I feel like I need this to truely be myself? Am I using this as an escape because of my anxiety and depression? Its like that small bubble has now taken over my mind, filling it with doubt.
*Sigh*
Random side note: My Mom forced me to get a haircut today. I had pretty good length hair, now down to practically nothing. I miss my hair. I miss the independent flow it had... moving my head to feel it lag behind...
Oh no :x
My hair is the most important thing in the world to me right now. It's slowly growing out and the only part about me that is remotely feminine. You should try to explain to your mom how important it is to you assuming you feel the same way.
I understand that feeling of nagging doubt; I think most people who are transitioning (or are thinking about it) deal with it at some point. What has helped me is being critical of what was causing me to doubt my main feelings, or the "large bubble" in your case. I eventually realized that external factors were the problem; other peoples' thoughts, hopes, and dreams, a fear of being judged a certain way or harmed in a certain way, a fear of not being accepted properly, and so on; in other words, things existing outside of myself.
So the question for me then became, am I living for myself or for others? And how much do those external things matter? Do they matter enough to make me spend a lifetime of having gender dysphoria? In my case, the answer was, "Not at all." You only have one shot at this, and ultimately it's your life and your body. It's important to be critical, but also to try to find the root of that criticism, and ask yourself, "Why?" I also had thoughts about being a father, but decided that the process of raising a child itself is what appeals to me, and the stuff about being a dad was being caused by more external influences.
You may have already seen this, but "The Null HypotheCis," by Natalie Reed talks about the issues of doubt and denial and gives an excellent perspective; in my case, it had a profound effect on how I view myself.
Try to step outside of all your bubbles and examine how your feelings have changed over time, along with how you are feeling now. Maybe this is just occasional doubt, or maybe it's more significant than that? But I found "stepping back" really made the issue of doubt clear for me, along with being critical of how I was being critical.
I agree with Emi that you should explain to your mom the importance of your hair being a certain length. I grew my hair out shoulder length, but was undergoing doubts and had it cut; maybe it was a way for me to get something out of my system, but I can say that I wish I had never cut it in the first place. I have been growing it back out again though.
Princess Viola
Member
Man these posts make me feel weird because I prefer my hair to be shorter. (Although that's probably only because when it gets long, I end up with old woman curly hair. :\)
I really like shorter hair, but my biggest masculine queues are my hairline and a slightly larger jaw. Long hair helps out with both and adds another feminine queue when I'm still not being read correctly all the time.
Princess Viola
Member
My biggest masculine queues are the fact that I was cursed to be born into a family that grows facial hair easily and my legs grow hair too easily and too coarse.
Man I should just get it removed, even if I wasn't transgender, I wouldn't want facial hair.
The one thing I miss about having shorter hair is the lower maintenance; when it grows out, if I don't tame it properly it ends up becoming this wavy/curly mess. Short hairstyles can look really nice too. But I think keeping it long suits my appearance more.
That sounds horrible. I couldn't imagine cutting my hair short once I start to grow it out.
It seems I won't be coming out to my family any time soon. I tested the waters with my mom and it seems like if I did come out I'd be living on the street. I really need to find a job so I can move out.
The thing I've learned with hair is that, if you have curly hair, you have to learn how to actually take care of it. Curly and straight hair are totally different, yet most people maintain their hair in the "normal" way - that is to say the way for straight hair.
The biggest first step is growing it out. That part sucks, and your hair will never look worst than when it's 1" ~ 6" long. You just have to suffer through it, as there's no easy fix.
The nice part is, what you think your hair will be like due to what it is during that period, and what your hair will actually end up like, are different. Of course, again it's all down to how you take care of it, the product you use, etc.
I'm still not sure what length I like my hair at. I've tried to long (past shoulders), and while I like the length, curly hair gets bulky very quickly. At that length, it takes a lot of work to maintain, and you need to stick to a good schedule of going to your stylist to reduce the overall volume.
Then again, I just recently got mine cut to about chin length, and I can do some super cute thing with it. Length isn't everything - what you do with it is also super important.
And yes, I AM still taking about hair. *heh*
The biggest first step is growing it out. That part sucks, and your hair will never look worst than when it's 1" ~ 6" long. You just have to suffer through it, as there's no easy fix.
The nice part is, what you think your hair will be like due to what it is during that period, and what your hair will actually end up like, are different. Of course, again it's all down to how you take care of it, the product you use, etc.
I'm still not sure what length I like my hair at. I've tried to long (past shoulders), and while I like the length, curly hair gets bulky very quickly. At that length, it takes a lot of work to maintain, and you need to stick to a good schedule of going to your stylist to reduce the overall volume.
Then again, I just recently got mine cut to about chin length, and I can do some super cute thing with it. Length isn't everything - what you do with it is also super important.
And yes, I AM still taking about hair. *heh*