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[Android18a]

Jamie, well done for having the courage to post that second pic (although, personally, I still think you look stunning there and I'm sure most would agree).

You have my full support whatever you have done, though, so its all about what makes you comfortable. You're just already *so* gorgeous though! Please don't be so hard on yourself. You're far, *far* more attractive than most of the girls I know irl.

 

[lexi]

You're just already *so* gorgeous though! Please don't be so hard on yourself. You're far, *far* more attractive than most of the girls I know irl.

This is a GG I just saw on the news. To be fair she is in a Bali prison.

 

[Roquentin]

You can clearly see how testosterone has deformed me in the second pic, yet I can see how this isn't obvious in the first one. I look at the second one and I feel like that's a man in drag in the photo, and that's all I'll ever look like until I get bones reshaped. I can't even describe how bad I feel when I look at that second photo, and that's what I notice about myself when I look in the mirror, and what I'm paranoid about when I go out in public. I very rarely put my hair back for that reason (I was babysitting and my nephew kept grabbing it and pulling so I had to get it away from my face.)

I can't tell you how jarring it is to feel like a woman, to even forget you're trans at all, and then to go to the bathroom and wash your hands and be confronted by this man-face. It just destroys me. Many transwomen don't feel this way though. We are all different.

Even after reading that I'm not exactly sure what's wrong with the second pic. I think you're really bad at taking bad photos But if FFS is what you need, then you should do it and no one can tell you otherwise.

 

[Papa]

Jamie: I still don't see the manface.

 

[Alfarif]

Spoiler

Gosh, don't be such a girl.

You love it.

@Lexi: You really posted that here? She so looks more manly than me. I'm scared her eyes are going to move and start looking at me. AH!

 

[lexi]

So I have a job interview tomorrow. I have a good feeling about this. They want someone immediately for a temporary job, with no notice for low pay and probably abusive conditions.

I'm their girl!

 

[beje]

So I have a job interview tomorrow. I have a good feeling about this. They want someone immediately for a temporary job, with no notice for low pay and probably abusive conditions.

I'm their girl!

It's still better than nothing

 

[lexi]

It's still better than nothing

Yes, that's the impression I was trying to give.

 

[SmokyDave]

Looking at the Jamie pics above, I'm struggling to see what is wrong with the second shot. Still looks like a hot chick to me. The line "You can clearly see how testosterone has deformed me in the second pic" makes me think I'm missing something really obvious but then I also suspect that I'm simply not terribly nuanced on defining gender from facial features.

Basically, if it's not poor form to ask, what is wrong with the second picture?

 

[British Monsoon]

Here's a bad one from yesterday (hard to post this):

You can clearly see how testosterone has deformed me in the second pic, yet I can see how this isn't obvious in the first one. I look at the second one and I feel like that's a man in drag in the photo, and that's all I'll ever look like until I get bones reshaped. I can't even describe how bad I feel when I look at that second photo, and that's what I notice about myself when I look in the mirror, and what I'm paranoid about when I go out in public.

I really don't think you have a thing to be paranoid about looking like that. It must be far more obvious to you, knowing what you looked like before, and I guess you can still see some of your old self? But believe me, to a casual observer seeing you for the first time, you definetly do not look like a man in drag - your first picture reminds me of Tina Fey while the second recalls Sophie Ellis Bextor imo

 

[Jamie xxoo]

Just... I really just want to say thank you to everyone.

Good luck with the interview tomorrow Lexi.

 

[i_am_ben]

This is a GG I just saw on the news. To be fair she is in a Bali prison.

i didn't know you were in Australia! where abouts?

 

[lexi]

i didn't know you were in Australia! where abouts?

Brisbane. Hi there!

 

[i_am_ben]

Brisbane. Hi there!

you poor thing! You need to move out of bris-vegas as quickly as possible!

 

[lexi]

you poor thing! You need to move out of bris-vegas as quickly as possible!

And to where, I ponder?

 

[i_am_ben]

And to where, I ponder?

anywhere but Adelaide :lol


sorry I'm from Melbourne we like to make fun of other people's cities

 

[Majmun]

You can clearly see how testosterone has deformed me in the second pic, yet I can see how this isn't obvious in the first one. I look at the second one and I feel like that's a man in drag in the photo, and that's all I'll ever look like until I get bones reshaped. I can't even describe how bad I feel when I look at that second photo, and that's what I notice about myself when I look in the mirror, and what I'm paranoid about when I go out in public. I very rarely put my hair back for that reason (I was babysitting and my nephew kept grabbing it and pulling so I had to get it away from my face.)

What? :lol
You look very feminine to me. And classy.

Sophie Ellis Bextor also has a bigger jaw than the usual female. But that doesn't make her less female or less gorgeous.

 

[lexi]

anywhere but Adelaide :lol


sorry I'm from Melbourne we like to make fun of other people's cities

I really like Melbourne and I would move there but I like my friends and family too much.

 

[EatChildren]

There's an odd amount of us Australians in this thread. What does that mean?

 

[Davedough]

I'm with the others Jaime... I dont see anything wrong with the 2nd picture. I've seen women that go from all dolled up to horrific spectacles in the morning. The 2nd picture reminds me of a typical person on "laundry day" when they aren't going anywhere and aren't trying to impress anyone. I still think you look fantastic. You're way too hard on yourself.

@lexi... did I catch a post that someone wished you luck at an interview? Is it a job interview? If so, I'll throw some mojo your way that you land it.

 

[Dead Man]

anywhere but Adelaide :lol


sorry I'm from Melbourne we like to make fun of other people's cities

Hey hey hey. Ease up tiger, we can't all live the fabulous lifestyle that comes with rain, humidity, and hail that Melbourne offers!

Imagine, if you will, that everyone is designated as either a hardcore or casual gamer when they are born. All of the hardcore are given Xbox 360's and casuals are given iPod Touch's.

When you were born, you were identified as a casual gamer and were given your very own Touch. Unfortunately, growing up you started to realize that you didn't personally identify with Touch owners. You realized that you could never be satisfied only playing games like Flight Control and Canabalt. You felt you needed more substantial experiences in your games. In fact, there was this one time as a kid that you downloaded Vay. That felt right, but all the other kids made fun of you for trying to play an RPG on an iPod. "Look that casual kid thinks he's hardcore. I bet he secretly tries to play FPS's too, what a freak." You quickly deleted it.

Eventually this leads to you becoming very depressed. You need to talk to someone before you do something rash. So, you see a thera… (hmm wait, metaphors, metaphors) so, you talk to GAF. You spill your guts in your Mental Health-Age thread, and even go as far to say you think you would have rather been given a 360 when you were born. "You know there are some people that actually switch from being a casual gamer to a hardcore gamer and vice versa," GAF responds. What?! You didn't even know that was possible! GAF says that if that's something you want to do, then you need to keep coming back and talking for a few months so they can get you started. So, every week you diligently post about your life and feelings. Things are looking up, but you're also worried about what people will think about you. After about 3 months, GAF refers you to the gaming side to start game replacement therapy.

360's and Touch's are both electronics after all. If you stop downloading casual games and start filling your iPod with core games, you might actually start to think like and resemble a hardcore gamer. So, the gaming side shows you how to jailbreak your iPod so you can start getting things like an NES emulator and see what it's really like to be hardcore gamer. You're informed that you'll have to play nothing but core games for an entire year if you want to completely transition. You're obviously nervous that people will be hostile towards you if they see you playing hardcore games. But you start by playing Dragon Warrior IV in the privacy of your own home and become absolutely elated. You know this is right for you. You begin the nerve-racking process of telling your friends and family what you are doing. They're put off at first. No one even imagined that you felt like this, but eventually they extend their support when it becomes apparent how happy you've become. You gain enough confidence that you start playing your games in public. It turns out that most people are too involved in themselves to even notice what you are playing. You occasionally get a knowing stare or condescending glance, but never anything near enough to deter you from your path.

So, a year passes and you definitely decide you want to get a 360 and get rid of your Touch for good. You've even saved up enough money to get one. You want to fully be recognized as a hardcore gamer. You get letters recommending you be allowed to buy one from both sides of GAF and head to Gamestop (it should be noted that some people get theirs from Amazon. It's not as convenient but I hear it can be cheaper and the service is even better). You get there and finally get your very own Xbox 360 Arcade. It's not exactly like Premiums that other hardcore gamers have, and it's even in some ways lacking features. But that doesn't matter, it works and you can finally play the games that are right for you. Sure, there are still times when other gamers on Xbox Live call you homophobic slurs, but fuck them. You can finally live your life in content.

I know I am late with this, but great metaphor!

 

[JumpJeff84]

Yeah, add me to the list of people who have no idea what's wrong with Jamie's pic...

 

[Jamie xxoo]

Melbourne is definitely the best city in Australia and I can't wait to move back there. EatChildren I didn't realize YOU were Australian too!

My reply before was lame, I hope no-one thinks I just skimmed over their response and brushed it off with an uncaring "thanks". To tell the truth I was really emotional when I wrote that and I didn't know what to say. You guys are killing me with kindness.

I don't want to ramble on and be all self-obsessed and boring. I'm sure many people have seen my pic and thought "that's a dude", but just didn't post, so I wont get carried away with taking it all too much to heart, but... SO grateful, you guys, to find out some people who aren't seeing trans people every day and who don't have a lot of exposure to or think much about trans issues just see a girl when they look at me from my worst angle. I don't mean to discount the opinions of the other trans girls here but when people who aren't dealing with this stuff themselves say you don't look like a guy on your worst angle - you just can't know what it means. Thank you again. It doesn't change a thing about what I see or how I feel about FFS, but it does make me feel like I should relax a bit more in public and stop assuming everyone I meet knows instantly.

To give an example of what this kind of reaction has brought up in me (and here I AM going to sound totally self obsessed so apologies in advance), last week I was out with mom in a small city and as I was walking down the street, I was catching all these guys looking at me. 3 of them in probably 5 minutes. I thought "great, I've worn the wrong thing, the light is hitting me in some way that's showing all my ugly, everyone can tell I'm trans today." After I finished what I had to do at the bank I walked back to the shop where mom was browsing and said "I want to go home, people are staring at me." She said "No-one can tell, men just look at tall girls and women look to see what you're wearing." I know this is true but I thought it was hubris to think that that was the reason these guys had been looking at me. But then I realized no one in the dress shop was paying any attention to me being there. Later in the women's bathroom - which was packed - no reactions/looks/anything. Later I was looked at again twice in succession by different guys as I was walking along with mom. Mom whispers "they're good looks." I thought, "maybe... but maybe mom is just being protective." We go to the pub for lunch, a guy comes up to our table and says "excuse me ladies, could you do us a favor and pick a card?" I picked one of the cards he was holding out, and he went back to his table (a cricket team according to their shirts - having a breakup drink I assume), and there was an uproar and one of them stood up and yelled across the room to me "Thank YOU miss!" (he won some bet I guess).

I half-heartedly thought at the end of that day that maybe it WAS possible that the guys who looked at me were thinking they were looking at a woman, and not thinking "is that a dude? What the hell IS it?" because drunk guys in a pub treated me like I was one. After this set of comments today, I feel really good about that day, in retrospect.

That's just one day, one thing that your comments have made me think about. So thanks. They helped.

God I probably sound so self-obsessed and up myself. No-one should think about their appearance this much.

 

[JumpJeff84]

Melbourne is definitely the best city in Australia and I can't wait to move back there. EatChildren I didn't realize YOU were Australian too!

My reply before was lame, I hope no-one thinks I just skimmed over their response and brushed it off with an uncaring "thanks". To tell the truth I was really emotional when I wrote that and I didn't know what to say. You guys are killing me with kindness.

I don't want to ramble on and be all self-obsessed and boring. I'm sure many people have seen my pic and thought "that's a dude", but just didn't post, so I wont get carried away with taking it all too much to heart, but... SO grateful, you guys, to find out some people who aren't seeing trans people every day and who don't have a lot of exposure to or think much about trans issues just see a girl when they look at me from my worst angle. I don't mean to discount the opinions of the other trans girls here but when people who aren't dealing with this stuff themselves say you don't look like a guy on your worst angle - you just can't know what it means. Thank you again. It doesn't change a thing about what I see or how I feel about FFS, but it does make me feel like I should relax a bit more in public and stop assuming everyone I meet knows instantly.

To give an example of what this kind of reaction has brought up in me (and here I AM going to sound totally self obsessed so apologies in advance), last week I was out with mom in a small city and as I was walking down the street, I was catching all these guys looking at me. 3 of them in probably 5 minutes. I thought "great, I've worn the wrong thing, the light is hitting me in some way that's showing all my ugly, everyone can tell I'm trans today." After I finished what I had to do at the bank I walked back to the shop where mom was browsing and said "I want to go home, people are staring at me." She said "No-one can tell, men just look at tall girls and women look to see what you're wearing." I know this is true but I thought it was hubris to think that that was the reason these guys had been looking at me. But then I realized no one in the dress shop was paying any attention to me being there. Later in the women's bathroom - which was packed - no reactions/looks/anything. Later I was looked at again twice in succession by different guys as I was walking along with mom. Mom whispers "they're good looks." I thought, "maybe... but maybe mom is just being protective." We go to the pub for lunch, a guy comes up to our table and says "excuse me ladies, could you do us a favor and pick a card?" I picked one of the cards he was holding out, and he went back to his table (a cricket team according to their shirts - having a breakup drink I assume), and there was an uproar and one of them stood up and yelled across the room to me "Thank YOU miss!" (he won some bet I guess).

I half-heartedly thought at the end of that day that maybe it WAS possible that the guys who looked at me were thinking they were looking at a woman, and not thinking "is that a dude? What the hell IS it?" because drunk guys in a pub treated me like I was one. After this set of comments today, I feel really good about that day, in retrospect.

That's just one day, one thing that your comments have made me think about. So thanks. They helped.

God I probably sound so self-obsessed and up myself. No-one should think about their appearance this much.

Especially someone who looks like a young Michelle Pheiffer.

 

[EatChildren]

Melbourne is definitely the best city in Australia and I can't wait to move back there. EatChildren I didn't realize YOU were Australian too!

Melbourne 4 lyf.

 

[JumpJeff84]

Vancouver 4 lyfe.

You ladies want to live in a place where you can really relax, come to Vancouver.

I'll show y'all a good time.

 

[Odrion]

Melbourne is definitely the best city in Australia and I can't wait to move back there. EatChildren I didn't realize YOU were Australian too!

My reply before was lame, I hope no-one thinks I just skimmed over their response and brushed it off with an uncaring "thanks". To tell the truth I was really emotional when I wrote that and I didn't know what to say. You guys are killing me with kindness.

I don't want to ramble on and be all self-obsessed and boring. I'm sure many people have seen my pic and thought "that's a dude", but just didn't post, so I wont get carried away with taking it all too much to heart, but... SO grateful, you guys, to find out some people who aren't seeing trans people every day and who don't have a lot of exposure to or think much about trans issues just see a girl when they look at me from my worst angle. I don't mean to discount the opinions of the other trans girls here but when people who aren't dealing with this stuff themselves say you don't look like a guy on your worst angle - you just can't know what it means. Thank you again. It doesn't change a thing about what I see or how I feel about FFS, but it does make me feel like I should relax a bit more in public and stop assuming everyone I meet knows instantly.

To give an example of what this kind of reaction has brought up in me (and here I AM going to sound totally self obsessed so apologies in advance), last week I was out with mom in a small city and as I was walking down the street, I was catching all these guys looking at me. 3 of them in probably 5 minutes. I thought "great, I've worn the wrong thing, the light is hitting me in some way that's showing all my ugly, everyone can tell I'm trans today." After I finished what I had to do at the bank I walked back to the shop where mom was browsing and said "I want to go home, people are staring at me." She said "No-one can tell, men just look at tall girls and women look to see what you're wearing." I know this is true but I thought it was hubris to think that that was the reason these guys had been looking at me. But then I realized no one in the dress shop was paying any attention to me being there. Later in the women's bathroom - which was packed - no reactions/looks/anything. Later I was looked at again twice in succession by different guys as I was walking along with mom. Mom whispers "they're good looks." I thought, "maybe... but maybe mom is just being protective." We go to the pub for lunch, a guy comes up to our table and says "excuse me ladies, could you do us a favor and pick a card?" I picked one of the cards he was holding out, and he went back to his table (a cricket team according to their shirts - having a breakup drink I assume), and there was an uproar and one of them stood up and yelled across the room to me "Thank YOU miss!" (he won some bet I guess).

I half-heartedly thought at the end of that day that maybe it WAS possible that the guys who looked at me were thinking they were looking at a woman, and not thinking "is that a dude? What the hell IS it?" because drunk guys in a pub treated me like I was one. After this set of comments today, I feel really good about that day, in retrospect.

That's just one day, one thing that your comments have made me think about. So thanks. They helped.

God I probably sound so self-obsessed and up myself. No-one should think about their appearance this much.

You look really good, and you sound like every girl ever, all girls are self conscious about the way they look.

 

[Shanadeus]

I don't want to ramble on and be all self-obsessed and boring. I'm sure many people have seen my pic and thought "that's a dude", but just didn't post

I'm pretty sure most are just thinking "did she post any new pic today?"

But that was quite an interesting rambling, it's really not that different from what just about anyone thinks I think.

"Does that guy think I look attractive?" "Does he know I'm a virgin"
... actually that's a rather crappy comparison so nevermind.

 

[JumpJeff84]

I know Jamie has no shortage of attention bestowed upon her by GAF, but fuck it, here's my two cents.

Jamie, I'm a hot dude. I'm 6'2", handsome, fit, sexy, confident, funny, funky- ladies really seem to love me, and I love 'em the fuck back.

If I was walking down the street and I saw you walk by, not only would I not think you were a dude, but I'd actively stop and say 'Hi'. You're that cute. I'd totally try and hit it, so there.

And you know what? I'm so smooth you just might let me....

 

[Davedough]

(words)...

God I probably sound so self-obsessed and up myself. No-one should think about their appearance this much.

I cant pretend to understand what that's like, but from this guy's perspective... tall women are hot. Especially if she's a tall woman that looks good, has a thin waste and ample sized breasts... yes, we're that primitive. I'd venture to say those looks were honestly checking you out... in a good way. When you caught them looking, did they look away shyly, did they hold the stare or did look away in guilt. Pay attention to this. Their facial expressions, no matter how slight, cant be fooled. If it's a sheepish glance, it might a guy with low confidence that sees an attractive woman, you see him and he has an internal "oh crap, she saw me staring" moment. I know I've done that. If they hold their stare, you then too can tell from facial reactions. If their face is held in an affirming pose, then its basic courting. He's confident and wants you to know he's staring at the off chance that you'll fulfill his fantasy and ask him his name or something. (In reality, the fantasy will play out to full on hardcore porn in a matter of seconds, but that's just another thing we do so disregard. :lol ) Now, if its guilt when he looks away... then your fears at that moment are justified because unless they're complete assholes, then they wont keep eye contact for their own personal fear. If thats the case... well, quite honestly... fuck them. You're not out there doing your thing for them... you're out there for yourself and from my sheltered, unknowing and limited view, you're doing a great job at it.

 

[Mekere]

Especially someone who looks like a young Michelle Pheiffer.

Héé thanks! I was desperately looking for the name of the actress the second photo reminded me. That's exactly it!

No-one should think about their appearance this much.

You can't stop yourself from being a girl We are all concerned about our appearance, sometime more, sometime less. But actually I think I can make a guess on what your "problem" is, you don't see yourself as you are, but as you were. I'm kinda the same, I was a chubby teenager and even now 15 years later and almost as many kg less, I still see myself as a chubby girl, of course I realise that my clothes are small (I buy some 34/36 FR) but that doesn't change anything.. the girl I see in the mirror is still a chubby one. Nothing can change that, nor my BF, nor my friends, nor doctors. Pretty tricky and that could have lead to anorexia.>_> So I had to determine what would be a good weight for me, and I try to stick at it no matter how fat I think I am. Memory's a bitch.

So yeah, I'm in the "you don't have to change anything" group. Actually, can we swap faces? I'm not fond of mine

[edit]Btw, hello, first message here but I followed it since the beginning. And Lexi, I wanted to tell you that you looks like a girl I know on a French forum so much it's eerie.

 

[fiz]

Melbourne is definitely the best city in Australia and I can't wait to move back there. EatChildren I didn't realize YOU were Australian too!

My reply before was lame, I hope no-one thinks I just skimmed over their response and brushed it off with an uncaring "thanks". To tell the truth I was really emotional when I wrote that and I didn't know what to say. You guys are killing me with kindness.

I don't want to ramble on and be all self-obsessed and boring. I'm sure many people have seen my pic and thought "that's a dude", but just didn't post, so I wont get carried away with taking it all too much to heart, but... SO grateful, you guys, to find out some people who aren't seeing trans people every day and who don't have a lot of exposure to or think much about trans issues just see a girl when they look at me from my worst angle. I don't mean to discount the opinions of the other trans girls here but when people who aren't dealing with this stuff themselves say you don't look like a guy on your worst angle - you just can't know what it means. Thank you again. It doesn't change a thing about what I see or how I feel about FFS, but it does make me feel like I should relax a bit more in public and stop assuming everyone I meet knows instantly.

To give an example of what this kind of reaction has brought up in me (and here I AM going to sound totally self obsessed so apologies in advance), last week I was out with mom in a small city and as I was walking down the street, I was catching all these guys looking at me. 3 of them in probably 5 minutes. I thought "great, I've worn the wrong thing, the light is hitting me in some way that's showing all my ugly, everyone can tell I'm trans today." After I finished what I had to do at the bank I walked back to the shop where mom was browsing and said "I want to go home, people are staring at me." She said "No-one can tell, men just look at tall girls and women look to see what you're wearing." I know this is true but I thought it was hubris to think that that was the reason these guys had been looking at me. But then I realized no one in the dress shop was paying any attention to me being there. Later in the women's bathroom - which was packed - no reactions/looks/anything. Later I was looked at again twice in succession by different guys as I was walking along with mom. Mom whispers "they're good looks." I thought, "maybe... but maybe mom is just being protective." We go to the pub for lunch, a guy comes up to our table and says "excuse me ladies, could you do us a favor and pick a card?" I picked one of the cards he was holding out, and he went back to his table (a cricket team according to their shirts - having a breakup drink I assume), and there was an uproar and one of them stood up and yelled across the room to me "Thank YOU miss!" (he won some bet I guess).

I half-heartedly thought at the end of that day that maybe it WAS possible that the guys who looked at me were thinking they were looking at a woman, and not thinking "is that a dude? What the hell IS it?" because drunk guys in a pub treated me like I was one. After this set of comments today, I feel really good about that day, in retrospect.

That's just one day, one thing that your comments have made me think about. So thanks. They helped.

God I probably sound so self-obsessed and up myself. No-one should think about their appearance this much.

I very highly doubt that statement, if that's one of your worse angles you have nothing to worry about. I also don't think guys are stealing looks at you because they think you are trans, when any respectable man sees a good looking girl it's virtually impossible to not let their eyes wander (well maybe not respectable in some cases, but trust me it's a compliment ).

 

[Vague]

You are both very nice to say these things, but I wonder if what's happened is that I've just misled people into thinking I look better than I do with flattering photos. Maybe people are filling in blanks with prettier features than I have.

To prove a point here's a good photo from 2 days ago:

Here's a bad one from yesterday (hard to post this):

You can clearly see how testosterone has deformed me in the second pic, yet I can see how this isn't obvious in the first one. I look at the second one and I feel like that's a man in drag in the photo, and that's all I'll ever look like until I get bones reshaped. I can't even describe how bad I feel when I look at that second photo, and that's what I notice about myself when I look in the mirror, and what I'm paranoid about when I go out in public. I very rarely put my hair back for that reason (I was babysitting and my nephew kept grabbing it and pulling so I had to get it away from my face.)

I can't tell you how jarring it is to feel like a woman, to even forget you're trans at all, and then to go to the bathroom and wash your hands and be confronted by this man-face. It just destroys me. Many transwomen don't feel this way though. We are all different.

I'm being seriously and not trying to just be nice or anything but I don't understand what you're talking about at all. You look like a girl to me and I'm a girl so I don't get it at all. If you don't mind me asking, where are you deformed by testosterone???

 

[Exhumed]

Long philisophical rant

What I meant was that the brain/mind, if you will, develops differently from the body. However, the body is completely genetic. If you are born a man physically, you have those traits. However your mind can develop to completely feminine and can change based on how you were raised or what you are comfortable with. That was my point.

@Jamie, its really all in your head. You keep proving that point over and over, and I hope you begin to see it clearly easier as you continue transitioning. Its a process, don't fight it!

Still smitten every time you post a new pic. You definitely have the woman thing going on thats for sure.

Also guys check out women all the time. Simple as that. Don't think about what they are thinking, it doesn't really matter in the end.

 

[Brian Griffin]

It doesn't change a thing about what I see or how I feel about FFS, but it does make me feel like I should relax a bit more in public and stop assuming everyone I meet knows instantly.

Yes, yes you should. I also have no idea what features you are so worried about and I will honestly say you are one of the most attractive girls I've seen in a while, in person or otherwise. I mean, that first pic, with the cute wave... holy shit!

I'm not trying to talk you out of the surgery, if that's what you need then definitely do it, but please for your own sanity try and ignore these thoughts about people thinking you are a guy. They don't. That's one thing I WILL say is all in your head.

 

[VGChampion]

Yeah Jaime, you should relax in public because I honestly cannot see any testosterone deformed features in you're second picture. You look just as good as any of your other pictures you posted. I know everyone is harder on themselves than they should be (myself included) but if I saw you in public I'd be attracted to you.

 

[Jamie xxoo]

@vague Er, I hope you understand that I really don't want to pick apart my face in front of people and point out my specific flaws, but in general, everything from the nose up. I also have a masculine jaw and chin but they don;t bother me personally. This is a real education for me to hear that some people don't see anything. =)

Vancouver 4 lyfe.

I'd love to live in Canada. One of my dearest friends lives there and has been telling me all about it and it sounds perfect. Like the good parts of Australia without the heat and humidity and obsession with cricket.

You look really good, and you sound like every girl ever, all girls are self conscious about the way they look.

Well THAT'S a comfort, but I think the things we focus on are probably from the opposite ends of the spectrum. Not many girls think "does my backside look too small in this?" lol.

"Does that guy think I look attractive?" "Does he know I'm a virgin"
... actually that's a rather crappy comparison so nevermind.

:lol

I know Jamie has no shortage of attention bestowed upon her by GAF, but fuck it, here's my two cents.

Jamie, I'm a hot dude. I'm 6'2", handsome, fit, sexy, confident, funny, funky- ladies really seem to love me, and I love 'em the fuck back.

If I was walking down the street and I saw you walk by, not only would I not think you were a dude, but I'd actively stop and say 'Hi'. You're that cute. I'd totally try and hit it, so there.

And you know what? I'm so smooth you just might let me....

LOL aren't you Mr Confidence? Love it, it's a good look on you And thank you, that was a sweet thing to say.

When you caught them looking, did they look away shyly, did they hold the stare or did look away in guilt. Pay attention to this. Their facial expressions, no matter how slight, cant be fooled. If it's a sheepish glance, it might a guy with low confidence that sees an attractive woman, you see him and he has an internal "oh crap, she saw me staring" moment. I know I've done that. If they hold their stare, you then too can tell from facial reactions. If their face is held in an affirming pose, then its basic courting. He's confident and wants you to know he's staring at the off chance that you'll fulfill his fantasy and ask him his name or something. (In reality, the fantasy will play out to full on hardcore porn in a matter of seconds, but that's just another thing we do so disregard. :lol ) Now, if its guilt when he looks away... then your fears at that moment are justified because unless they're complete assholes, then they wont keep eye contact for their own personal fear. If thats the case... well, quite honestly... fuck them. You're not out there doing your thing for them... you're out there for yourself and from my sheltered, unknowing and limited view, you're doing a great job at it.

Wow, that was fascinating. When I make eye contact with a stranger I'll usually break it ASAP. Well actually, with women I might smile and say hi sometimes. With men I'm generally terrified that they're going to say something nasty if I engage them. One of the guys that day I sort of got stunned by (he was so good looking) and we locked eyes for a sec before I looked down and until he had passed. Another I remember looked away when he saw me but I couldn't tell you what expression he had. One of them (when I was with mom) was smiling and I had to look away. OMG. OMG.

OMG.

actually I think I can make a guess on what your "problem" is, you don't see yourself as you are, but as you were. I'm kinda the same, I was a chubby teenager and even now 15 years later and almost as many kg less, I still see myself as a chubby girl

So yeah, I'm in the "you don't have to change anything" group. Actually, can we swap faces? I'm not fond of mine

That's what my gender psych says, and he says it's normal for someone who's made such a freakishly quick transition. I was affected by hormones very quickly - much more quickly than is usual, I never went through a cross-dressing period, I just went from presenting as a guy one day to living as a woman the next (nothing like just jumping in and hoping you have the instinct to swim), and I had a lot of expectations that it would be a long time before people wouldn't see me as a man in a dress, yet it seemed to happen from day 1. I'm still figuring it out I suppose. He's also behind me in getting FFS though, because it's not *just* that I see myself through the filter of the past. Trust me I have hashed the issues over with my psych plenty. But you are right, there are definitely triggers about my face that evoke how I looked when I was fully hidden behind a gorilla suit. My ex was a chubby kid, and even when he was a slim, muscled up personal trainer, he was still convinced he had a funny body shape, even though he was amazing. So I get where you're coming from.

What I meant was that the brain/mind, if you will, develops differently from the body. However, the body is completely genetic. If you are born a man physically, you have those traits. However your mind can develop to completely feminine and can change based on how you were raised or what you are comfortable with. That was my point.

@Jamie, its really all in your head. You keep proving that point over and over, and I hope you begin to see it clearly easier as you continue transitioning. Its a process, don't fight it!

Still smitten every time you post a new pic. You definitely have the woman thing going on thats for sure.

Also guys check out women all the time. Simple as that. Don't think about what they are thinking, it doesn't really matter in the end.

Actually, there is a theory that transgenderism comes about because in the womb the fetus is
exposed to a wash of hormones at 6 weeks which sets brain structure and this is when the gender identity is set. The theory says that at 12 weeks there should be another wash of hormones to determine the development of the physical sex characteristics, but for some reason this second wash doesn't happen properly and the fetus ends up with different brain sex to their body sex as a result. So maybe it is the case that brain and body can develop separately. This theory also explains why when psychology was used to try and correct the brain gender, the failure rate was something like 98% (I'm not dragging out my book to find out the correct statistic - the book is Brown's "True Selves".)

I stopped caring about the "why" for transgenderism a long time ago though. It's just something I accept I have now.

And no I don't accept that it's all in my head. Just, logically - my facial bone structure has been defined by growth that occured during testosterone-fueled male puberty. Before transition I had totally average male testosterone levels. It would make ZERO logical sense to think that I did not have a male facial structure.

I meant to prove that it was obvious why I wanted FFS. I guess I failed in a lot of people's eyes, but I still know when I wash my face tonight before bed (where I'm headed now) that I will look in the mirror and see a guy's face mocking me. I also know 30 years of therapy is not going to change my skull shape or my mind about how those bones are shaped or the amount of dysphoria I experience whenever I see my face.

I guess what I HAVE proved is that FFS is for me, not for society. I *do* feel a lot better about walking out of the house tomorrow though (daily challenge) so thank you everyone for that. Thank you SO much.

 

[Davedough]

Completely off topic, but I keep seeing "FFS" .... did I miss something because I've always associated that with "For Fuck Sake". It doesn't fit in context. :lol

 

[EatChildren]

Completely off topic, but I keep seeing "FFS" .... did I miss something because I've always associated that with "For Fuck Sake". It doesn't fit in context. :lol

Was about to post this :lol.

 

[Jamie xxoo]

:lol "Facial Feminization Surgery".

This is my 300th post! \o/

Edit: Madly mashing F5 to see my status change!

 

[Mekere]

Please, please, tell me you'll keep your jaw if you do a FFS! I'd kill to have a jaw like this

Btw, is there a girl fashion thread hidden somewhere?

 

[Jamie xxoo]

lol I am not touching the jaw. Even after reading a hundred "man-face" comments about Emily Deschanel (who I think is beautiful BTW) on this very forum.

Start a thread!

 

[Mekere]

Mekere
Junior Member

I can't start a thread :'(

 

[EatChildren]

Ha! Juniors!

 

[JumpJeff84]

Yes Jamie, Vancouver is nice. Little rainy, but very cool. Pretty much one of the best places in the world for those that follow an 'alternative lifestyle' (really hate that term). No cricket, but the obsession with hockey I'm sure is just as bad.

And yeah, I am Mr. Confidence. Because I'm great. And the fact that you responded positively to my swagger really further cements the fact that you're all woman- ladies love me.

If you ever make it to Vancouver, send me a PM and I'll show you why I'm so confident.

 

[Jamie xxoo]

OTOH, "Junior" seems like a better tag than "Will Suck Cock While GDGF Watches".

Just sayin'.

Edit: @Whoomp :lol I would definitely look you up. Awesome guys are awesome! I'm about as mainstream vanilla as it gets (except for the obvious) tho so I wonder how I'd fit in over there. Maybe I would get my groove back. In... Canada. That doesn't sound right.

 

[EatChildren]

OTOH, "Junior" seems like a better tag than "Will Suck Cock While GDGF Watches".

Just sayin'.

If it gets me F-Zero I've got no complaints.

 

[Davedough]

Ya know, I'm glad I stay mostly under the radar on Gaf. I've posted my fair share of unsavory sayings and am so glad I dont have a tag =)

 

[Mekere]

I believe I'll stay Junior for a long time, my english is not so good so I don't post much And stop being mean with juniors! Some of us have a heart you know

 

[JumpJeff84]

OTOH, "Junior" seems like a better tag than "Will Suck Cock While GDGF Watches".

Just sayin'.

Edit: @Whoomp :lol I would definitely look you up. Awesome guys are awesome! I'm about as mainstream vanilla as it gets (except for the obvious) tho so I wonder how I'd fit in over there. Maybe I would get my groove back. In... Canada. That doesn't sound right.

Hey, I'll be here. And you will get your groove back, I guarantee it.