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Transgaf: 'cause boys will be girls (and vice versa)
- Thread starter lexi
- Start date
Just wanted to share something I found whilst reading another website I frequent:
An editor for People.com, Janet Mock, comes out as transgender.
She made an It Gets Better video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0t-Ft-vRUE&feature=player_embedded
Sorry if old
An editor for People.com, Janet Mock, comes out as transgender.
She made an It Gets Better video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0t-Ft-vRUE&feature=player_embedded
Sorry if old
It's been pointed out that my hair is getting quite long.
I suppose it is
Actually I kinda just wanted to post a newish photo. Not that anybody would care, I'm just a narcissist in denial.
I suppose it is
Actually I kinda just wanted to post a newish photo. Not that anybody would care, I'm just a narcissist in denial.
InfiniteNine
Rolling Girl
Looking good lexi. 
krypt0nian
Banned
lexi said:
Love those glasses on you!
alysonwheel
Member
You have gorgeous hair!lexi said:
Mine has been misbehaving lately, so I'm a little jealous.
For, like, the last four days or so I've randomly had this super-strong desire to paint my nails blue. I don't have blue polish (plus I'm stuck with the parents so no girling up) and I have absolutely no source for this impulse. Or a reason to share it with everyone, really.
shidoshi said:
But... what if my hair
is also wet?
I had a long period where I was petrified to even talk to anyone about transition. I was living with my ultra conservative dad at the time, and going crazy in my own skin, I just had to start getting way more androgynous. I went through heaps of different nail colours (including blue, dark blue, navy blue, a dozen variations of purple), tried lots of styles with my longish-for-a-boy hair, and wore fairly tight clothing out and about. People generally just didn't care, including parents. Sure there were a few raised eyebrows sometimes but nobody ever said anything.
NewGamePlus
Member
Hey, wait! You there, Li'l Cactus avatar person (excuse me, I may be less than sober), I kind of wanted to ask you something. I noticed the other day that you were lamenting over the idea that you would never be able to be a woman because of your body build. I was wondering if you actually experience cross-gender thoughts often, or if it was rather simply a passing notion, as often the case may be? Of course, you don't have to share if you don't want to. It's just that I think most trans people have had similar thoughts at some point in their lives. ^__^xelios said:
NewGamePlus said:
Hay. I've thought it over several times in my life, but I wouldn't say it's on my mind often. It's not something I'm seriously considering, partly because I'm not really unhappy with myself (at least consciously) and partly because of what I described. I am ~6' tall and have broad shoulders, somewhat defined abdominal muscles etc. Basically the frame of a man (my face could work for either), though I don't feel like one. I feel more boyish I guess. There have been times where in passing I felt like I was supposed to be a girl.
I know this shouldn't get in the way of someone becoming who they truly want to be and being happy with themselves, but I often wonder how hard it is to be a transwoman with the frame/jawline etc. of a man. Do you just have to learn to not care how other people react? It's hard enough for me being gay. I am 100% supportive of Trans-GAF though, no matter what you look like.
xelios said:
If Jamie were around she would write a far more excellent reply to the above. I will try my best for a TL;DR version.
Transition for me was basically my last option. It was floating around in my mind for MANY years before I actually did something about it, and what always weighed against me taking any action was how awful I would look and how much hell I would endure on an hourly basis. Eventually my state of being deteriorated so much that transitioning was my only option, I couldn't continue on the way I was.
I think that if you don't need to transition, then you shouldn't.
As an aside, my jaw / facial structure was my biggest concern and I was convinced would not allow me to 'pass'. I had a square face, and a square jaw. For some magical reason, that is no longer the case, my face structure could be classified as feminine by pretty much anybody's standards, I'm not pretty, but I haven't been gendered as male at all by anyone in the past 12 months.
NewGamePlus
Member
xelios said:
I can empathize a bit. I don't always feel like a woman, even though I'm certainly living as one now. I've expressed my queerness, for lack of a better term, previously. All I can really say is that for me personally, transitioning has dramatically improved my life. So much so, actually, that it has almost degenerated my abilities to connect to other people facing gender issues. You see, I actually have a completely supportive family, completely supportive friends and... well, japanese ancestry. I never had to wrestle with my looks too much. Most of my growing of thick skin happened in high school. Apparently, it seems to be more kosher being an androgynous girl than an androgynous boy, who knew? So, really my response to anyone toying with alternate gender expressions is: "Omigosh, omigosh try it!" But I realize that for many people that could potentially create more problems than it would fix.
The circumstances are always much more important than the question itself to me.
I mean, what good is it to know that you want the change or not if you can't?
My parents support it and don't support it at the same time, it's a complete paranoia to me. Sometimes they give me advices sometimes they get angry. You can't figure out when they will do wich either.
My work is complete shit, I wouldn't even earn enough to cover the train fares if it wasn't covered by welfare. I work at a place for psychical disabled people. They don't care for your problems but just subliminally humiliate you.
I had many mental breakdowns lately and I came to the conclusion that I have to do the change. I must find a cheap place to stay now, no matter what.
And then find a better work, the problem is that I don't have the power to do this first.
I mean, what good is it to know that you want the change or not if you can't?
My parents support it and don't support it at the same time, it's a complete paranoia to me. Sometimes they give me advices sometimes they get angry. You can't figure out when they will do wich either.
My work is complete shit, I wouldn't even earn enough to cover the train fares if it wasn't covered by welfare. I work at a place for psychical disabled people. They don't care for your problems but just subliminally humiliate you.
I had many mental breakdowns lately and I came to the conclusion that I have to do the change. I must find a cheap place to stay now, no matter what.
And then find a better work, the problem is that I don't have the power to do this first.
lexi said:
My habit has been to have as many 'hidden' feminine traits going as I can. Only time I don't wear panties and keep my toenails painted is when I'm at the parents' for an extended time, and I only have one more week of that probably ever. I'm already planning to slowly amp it up when I start my new job, so once benefits kick in I start seeing a psych again and getting proper treatment.
I think my big problem is I just don't see myself as female, no matter what I do. You have it easy, lexi, you're cute.
I'm not. At least not right now. So that ruins my confidence, so that ruins my chances of passing. And I know that, so ever since the one date I went on where the waitress kinda gave me a little hassle I just stopped trying.The point is, why the fuck blue? Why not a color I do have or any of the other colors I don't have?
I don't really buy into it, but some colour interpretations may provide as good a reason as any:Charron said:My habit has been to have as many 'hidden' feminine traits going as I can. Only time I don't wear panties and keep my toenails painted is when I'm at the parents' for an extended time, and I only have one more week of that probably ever. I'm already planning to slowly amp it up when I start my new job, so once benefits kick in I start seeing a psych again and getting proper treatment.
I think my big problem is I just don't see myself as female, no matter what I do. You have it easy, lexi, you're cute.
The point is, why the fuck blue? Why not a color I do have or any of the other colors I don't have?
Sounds like a winner to me.
AceBandage
Banned
Red, pink, salmon.
These are the only acceptable nail colors.
These are the only acceptable nail colors.
Dead Man said:
My boyfriend (in maybe his first moment of flirtiness in months) said it was so I wouldn't forget him. (We each have our color, his is sort of a median blue, mine is a lavender).
AceBandage said:Red, pink, salmon.
These are the only acceptable nail colors.
I do not do my nails thing-I-would-eat color.
alysonwheel
Member
I feel I have to speak out in defense of bright blue nail polish.AceBandage said:Red, pink, salmon.
These are the only acceptable nail colors.
*admires bright blue nails*
AceBandage
Banned
Jangaroo said:
Your avatar is your face on the forum. I look at avatar before I look at names, simply because it's easier to remember a picture.
It was hard ditching my old Boondocks one, though.
djtiesto said:
Wich reminds me ..... i was looking at some The Cliks songs on youtube and suddenly came to my attention the comments section of the video ... full of bizarre coments that borders transfobia .... after some research i discovered that the vocalist is ftm ! =O
And that he also gave up on getting testosterone because it would change his voice .... wich is kinda sad (he will feel bad probably) and awesome (so much love for the art !) at the same time
I have a stupid but honest question for trans-gaf. And as a heterosexual male this is going to seem really dumb but I really am curious...
Are most MtF transgenders attracted to males? How does it differ from just being homosexual (before self-identifying as female I mean)? Did you at one point think you were homosexual but then realize it was further than that and realize you belonged in a body of the opposite sex, or it it clearer a lot earlier than that?
Or even more confusing, what about someone who was attacted to Females, but also felt like they belong in a female body? Like a MtF transgender would would essentially become a lesbian once they start identifying themselves as female? I realize that drawing lines between trans-gender and sexual preference may not be entirely appropriate, but I was just wondering if there were any correlations..
All of these questions are meant in good faith, and if I worded something wrong please let me know how I can fix it or be more clear...
Are most MtF transgenders attracted to males? How does it differ from just being homosexual (before self-identifying as female I mean)? Did you at one point think you were homosexual but then realize it was further than that and realize you belonged in a body of the opposite sex, or it it clearer a lot earlier than that?
Or even more confusing, what about someone who was attacted to Females, but also felt like they belong in a female body? Like a MtF transgender would would essentially become a lesbian once they start identifying themselves as female? I realize that drawing lines between trans-gender and sexual preference may not be entirely appropriate, but I was just wondering if there were any correlations..
All of these questions are meant in good faith, and if I worded something wrong please let me know how I can fix it or be more clear...
Oh... so that's where you went. I'm not sure if Adventure Time + NMH is a good of a replacement though.AceBandage said:Your avatar is your face on the forum. I look at avatar before I look at names, simply because it's easier to remember a picture.
It was hard ditching my old Boondocks one, though.
AceBandage
Banned
Jangaroo said:
Exactly my point!
However, I think this is a good fall back.
Yencid made it at my bequest and it turned out well.
Not most, you would probably see a standard deviation as compared to any group.
Being gay just means being attracted to people of the same-sex. Being transgender is much more than that and it impacts differently upon oneself. Some may suppress their feelings or misinterpret them and think 'oh I must be gay'. There is a ton of variation.
Same deal as above. Their sexuality and who they are attracted to plays a smaller role, and is totally disconnected from their gender identity.
EatChildren
Currently polling second in Australia's federal election (first in the Gold Coast), this feral may one day be your Bogan King.
Seda said:
Simple answer; gender identity and sexual identity are two different things. They're both caught up in semantics.
blackwatchplad
Neo Member
Seda said:
It's more of a clear realization like you said, an epiphany if you will.
And as far as sexual preference, it's whatever the person likes. Who you are doesn't effect what you like. Even I still struggle with that concept though. Dating a MtF transgender, whom I love a lot.. but still can confuse me. ... I just have to keep telling myself who I am and what I like shouldn't effect each other. Probably not the best thought out reply in history!! but I see that question a lot.
Seda said:
Sort of. I've always known that I'd rather be a girl, but until around a year ago I had too little knowledge of transgender individuals to identify as one. I somehow made it into my early 20s without ever learning about or meeting a successful trangendered person. As soon as that changed, and I started researching further, I began to seriously question my own identity.
I've mostly known throughout my life that I'm attracted to women and not men, but I was teased and called gay a lot (as well as asked if I was gay by people legitimately curious) as a teenager to the point where I started to wonder if I had basically brainwashed myself into thinking I was attracted to women instead of men due to societal pressures.
Stupid? Yes, but I was a kid, and I know better now.
Seda said:
The first time that I really understood that something was wrong with how things were going for me, I interpreted what was happening as a potential sign that I was gay. But, that made no sense, since I had absolutely no interesting in sexual relations with a guy with me also being in the position of being a guy. I wasn't at a point where I knew enough about the transgender issue to understand any of that, so I basically got really, really confused and then got into an even worse place mentally and emotionally because of that.
I really wonder what would have happened had I gotten counseling at that point instead of decided that I had to deal with all of my problems on my own.
InfiniteNine
Rolling Girl
Well I ended up telling my sisters. They are all very accepting I love them. :'>
alysonwheel
Member
I made it to 18. I was really having difficulty placing myself in the world and I'd turned over the course of my teenage years from happy as a kid to basically perma-depressed as I got older. I remember thinking at around the age of 13/14 that I'd have to stop cross-dressing because I was growing into a man now; oh, the hilarity.iirate said:
Then Eurovision 1998 happened, and I saw Dana International (wikipedia has the least flattering picture of her in the universe right now), and I knew who I was and that I had to transition. Still took me about two years to actually get around to it, though, because I'm slow.
To be honest though it would have happened in 1998 even if she hadn't competed, because that was the year we got internet.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fv83u7-mNWQ
(and yes, it's a numel. because numels are adorable.)
firehawk12
Subete no aware
Yay! That's great!InfiniteNine said:
NewGamePlus
Member
Awesome! Now, are any of them close to your size? This is the point were you very subtly start siphoning clothes out of their closet. I'm not advocating stealing of course, no no. I'm just saying that you might borrow something really cute for a night and forget to give it back... not that I would actually know anything about this type of behavior *completely innocent whistling*InfiniteNine said:
Just wanted to give the thread a bump with an spanish ad for Aquarius that is about names and has a nice reference to transgendered people in the part that says "even some José María (male compound name) that would like to be called María José (female compound name)" where a smiling girl holds and old photo supposedly of herself before transitioning.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQiQmR1XXOk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQiQmR1XXOk