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Valve's fake, rigged, waste of time Progress Quest troll Portal 2 ARG

J

jambo

Member
I heard that some retailers in Aus have broken the street release date, so some console players may already be hitting up the SP.
 
B

BobTheFork

Member
Lostconfused said:
More than two hours.
Click to expand...
That's really kind of jacked up. So what's the consensus? Were there not enough people, did Valve overestimate or did they just basically script it to do this and it didn't really matter regardless?
 
D

dimb

Bjergsen is the greatest midlane in the world
BobTheFork said:
So, you can go buy it in some stores in 2 hours, what's the current ETA for you guys?
Click to expand...
Four hours, or whenever Killing Floor and Super Meat Boy bars finish.
 
A

Ark

Member
Anyone in the UK could have bought the game in the last 3 hours 9 minutes...

Dammit Valve!

EDIT: KF is ahead of SMB ever so slightly!
 
B

Blizzard

Banned
Well, it really does look like everyone except Steam preorderers will get to play first, unless Super Meat Boy gets 8000 people and drops two hours off the timer. I am curious if anyone gets a PC retail copy of Portal 2 whether it unlocks instantly even with this timer thing still ongoing, just for future reference.
 
J

JaseC

gave away the keys to the kingdom.
BobTheFork said:
That's really kind of jacked up. So what's the consensus? Were there not enough people, did Valve overestimate or did they just basically script it to do this and it didn't really matter regardless?
Click to expand...

The third one, apparently.
 
F

Fredescu

Member
Blizzard said:
I am curious if anyone gets a PC retail copy of Portal 2 whether it unlocks instantly even with this timer thing still ongoing, just for future reference.
Click to expand...
Retail PC copies have to wait for the Steam unlock too, if that's what you're asking.
 
L

Lostconfused

Member
BobTheFork said:
That's really kind of jacked up. So what's the consensus? Were there not enough people, did Valve overestimate or did they just basically script it to do this and it didn't really matter regardless?
Click to expand...
It really depends on who you ask. I personally believe Valve planed for the game to come out 12 am EST at the earliest.
Fredescu said:
Retail PC copies have to wait for the Steam unlock too, if that's what you're asking.
Click to expand...
Unless its the same deal as call of duty games which unlock at midnight.
 
C

Campster

Do you like my tight white sweater? STOP STARING
TheRagnCajun said:
So, I take it Valve hasn't commented on the early release, or lack thereof, yet?
Click to expand...

It's unlikely they're going to comment at all, primarily because it seems like this was what the entire ARG was designed to do from the get-go.
 
B

Blizzard

Banned
Fredescu said:
Retail PC copies have to wait for the Steam unlock too, if that's what you're asking.
Click to expand...
Yes but...
Lostconfused said:
Unless its the same deal as call of duty games which unlock at midnight.
Click to expand...
This. I'm curious to see which it is.

Also, I have to believe that Valve COULD have increased the rate, or turned on the potatodrive sooner, or whatever. They're in control of the release. The only likely reasons I can think of were that they had a retailer/distributor/whatever-the-heck-it-is agreement with GameStop and/or EA, and/or they had some crazy last-minute problems with the PC version of Portal 2 and wanted to fix them before release.
 
L

L00P

Member
Yesss I think I can play a little bit of Portal 2 tonight before I sleep. Only less than four hours to go! It might even be earlier if Meat Boy/Killing Floor's bar gets filled!
 
C

Campster

Do you like my tight white sweater? STOP STARING
L00P said:
Yesss I think I can play a little bit of Portal 2 tonight before I sleep. Only less than four hours to go! It might even be earlier if Meat Boy/Killing Floor's bar gets filled!
Click to expand...

At their current rates it's looking like an hour and 10 minutes or so for both, so both will probably finish.

However, I'm not expecting a tremendous boost in time from either of them, primarily because there's only so much time left to subtract from at this point.

enzo_gt said:
Yeah I'm calling midnight EST launch. Probably the time Valve has set anyway regardless of what we do.
Click to expand...

Depends on how powerful SMB and Killing Floor are. If they both knock out an hour or more, then that's definitely a possibility. But the average time off has been somewhere between 30 and 45 minutes.
 
W

wayward archer

Member
If past Valve releases have taught me anything it's to never get excited about a Valve game release day, because they really don't give a shit about being on time.
 
H

Hawkian

The Cryptarch's Bane
CarbonatedFalcon said:
I was watching a play-through on YouTube the other day. Doing that definitely makes scary games more bearable, but I know if I'd been playing myself I'd be almost paralyzed with irrational fear.
Click to expand...

Seriously. This will sound silly but in some ways the walkthrough made things scarier. That is, if I deviated from the path he took or made a wrong turn, I felt more lost than if I had been going into it blind. It sort of created the atmosphere of trying to follow someone invisible. If the monster ever saw me I was completely on my own because the walkthrough only uses brief hiding spaces and/or ignores it completely.
 
S

Shao Kahn Brewing a Stew

Banned
SpacePirate Ridley said:
Well I will leave amnesia and super meat boy if that helps.
Now im going to sleep 4 hours, maybe at 8am here I can play Portal 2.
See you guys at the other side!
Click to expand...

Won't help. Can't help. Game releases midnight as it was meant to be and always will.
 
A

Ark

Member
TheRagnCajun said:
So, I take it Valve hasn't commented on the early release, or lack thereof, yet?
Click to expand...

The only time Valve ever comments, on anything, is when they announce that they might one day possibly in the next century, when the 4th moon of the 8th planet in the 47th solar system aligns with our sun during the year in which a pink Pony is granted a knighthood by Her Majesty the Queen, release a game.
 
T

thefil

Member
I'm going to sleep until 5, then play a bit before work.

The game better be unlocked by then!

*edit* Who am I kidding. I need to see htis happen.
 
F

Fox318

Member
Eaten By A Grue said:
I WILL MOVE THEM WITH MY MIND
Click to expand...
WE NEED MORE POWER
zZLkD.jpg
 
E

Eaten By A Grue

Member
CarbonatedFalcon said:
I find it hilarious that Amnesia, the horror/scary game, is the one that is least filled.
Click to expand...
I do not even like opening up the title screen for Amnesia let alone going through the game to look for a potato. It can stay hidden for all I care.
 
E

enzo_gt

tagged by Blackace
Campster said:
Depends on how powerful SMB and Killing Floor are. If they both knock out an hour or more, then that's definitely a possibility. But the average time off has been somewhere between 30 and 45 minutes.
Click to expand...
SMB AND KILLING FLOOR ONES HAVENT MOVED IN 20 MINUTES WHAT IS THIS SHIT

fixthisshitvalve
 
Trickster

Trickster

Member
TheRagnCajun said:
So, I take it Valve hasn't commented on the early release, or lack thereof, yet?
Click to expand...

Nope, and as has been said, don't expect them too.

I think I spoke to why they probably weren't gonna bother with it earlier in this topic. Essentially they know people will have largely forgotten about it by the time their next game rolls out, and those that haven't will still let it slide because it's Valve.

On an different note. I'm actually kinda curious, if this whole thing is rigged. Would the whole "buy these games and get portal 2 out earlier" thing be illegal? I'm not a lawyer by any means, but aren't there some kinda laws agains't blatantly false advertisement?
 
E

Emitan

Member
Trickster said:
Nope, and as has been said, don't expect them too.

I think I spoke to why they probably weren't gonna bother with it earlier in this topic. Essentially they know people will have largely forgotten about it by the time their next game rolls out, and those that haven't will still let it slide because it's Valve.

On an different note. I'm actually kinda curious, if this whole thing is rigged. Would the whole "buy these games and get portal 2 out earlier" thing be illegal? I'm not a lawyer by any means, but aren't there some kinda laws agains't blatantly false advertisement?
Click to expand...
But it wasn't really "buy these to make the other thing come out faster". Anyone who owned the games (some of which had been out for years) could contribute.
 
S

Sent

Member
Trickster said:
Nope, and as has been said, don't expect them too.

I think I spoke to why they probably weren't gonna bother with it earlier in this topic. Essentially they know people will have largely forgotten about it by the time their next game rolls out, and those that haven't will still let it slide because it's Valve.

On an different note. I'm actually kinda curious, if this whole thing is rigged. Would the whole "buy these games and get portal 2 out earlier" thing be illegal? I'm not a lawyer by any means, but aren't there some kinda laws agains't blatantly false advertisement?
Click to expand...

They never said how much earlier, point makes no sense.
 
H

heyf00L

Member
I don't really see how it could be rigged.

I'm guessing they didn't think it'd take this long to unlock all the games either.
 
K

kamspy

Member
CarbonatedFalcon said:
I find it hilarious that Amnesia, the horror/scary game, is the one that is least filled.
Click to expand...

I tried last night and ended up having to take an extra xanax and leaving a light on when I went upstairs.


EDIT: I have to wake up for work at 5:00AM. Let's see how late I stay up playing this. lol

I did take a 2-3 hour nap and already showered up. Now it's time for Portal 2, cheese and crackers and bong hits.
 
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