Watch out, Xbone fans: KINECT can see your penis!

Maybe ESRB can come up with a censoring system for games that are only playable for some penis sizes. On the back of the box "only if kinect detects 7 inches plus; gta6 10 inches plus; sorry Asian people"


As a lawyer this camera could come in handy in certain cases.


This honestly scares me on a personal level

There goes anybody's chance of pulling off a major fake identity/earning millions and the investigators telling him...

"Your Real name is this, your hometown is this and your penis length is exactly this without an erection and this with an erection"

And one will be sitting there with an expression of the dog/cupcake.gif

Just because you loved Halo, you gotta tell them your size; what a world..... Sniff

/end over the top pretentious reply
 
I'd love to read the troubleshooting guide on trying to detect your penis....or better yet hear MS tech support walk your through it.
 
I wonder what sort of ads you will get shown when Kinect detects a boner. Or even, imagine the feedback it gives to its advertising partners if you get a stiffy during an ad break.

"SPE *really* enjoyed your advertisement"
 
I wonder what sort of ads you will get shown when Kinect detects a boner. Or even, imagine the feedback it gives to its advertising partners if you get a stiffy during an ad break.

"SPE *really* enjoyed your advertisement"

We have notice your penis size is well bellow the US average, we recommend you getting a PS4 as your console of choice.

I kid.
 
Abba saw this coming in the 70s

sthetinfoilincidentpf4.jpg
 
So is this really true? Watched the video but are there other confirmed reports? It'd be pretty funny demonstrating this tech in front of your family only for your wang to be waving about on show lol.
 
So is this really true? Watched the video but are there other confirmed reports? It'd be pretty funny demonstrating this tech in front of your family only for your wang to be waving about on show lol.

Well, considering the video references a source thats banned from GAF and that in the video/pictures it looks more like folds on his pants. Its probably, more than likely, false.
 
Looks like his pants folding. You can see his pants starting to do it before it switches.

And the guy making the video still talking about Xbox One Pre-180 policies? Nice research.
 
Will we have some social info graph later about the sizes of gamers penis break in countries and what porn they open on that pornHub app?
 
That's kind of groovy. Maybe they could make a 3D porn app that can monitor your... ahem... response to various stimuli and adjust itself accordingly. You would never have to reach for the player controls ever again. They could call it "Kinect Porno Buddy", your caring, sharing porn app that knows exactly what you like.
 
This changes everything.
Inb4 Microsoft creates the biggest penis register in the world, linking every registered penis to a persona.

You heard it here first.
 
"In partnership with Xbox One, Durex are proud to bring you unique adverts in your dashboard tailored for the exact size of condom you'll need. Only possible on Xbox One and Kinect."

Can see this happening
 
I'm really curious about how no one on GAF has so far wondered about and asked for images of what the Kinect sees when a woman is in front of it..
 
Now people can't say I'm bragging, because it wasn't my intent to show it off.

Psycho Mantis is going to take things to a whole new level in MGS5 on Xbox One

He's going to attack the self esteem of the vulnerable, and be dumbfounded and at a loss against the few legends among us.
 
I don't get this. I can clearly spot his noodle without Kinect's "help". The unfortunate choice of boxers and thin layered trousers granted views like this way before MS was even founded. It's a common problem of boxers. Feel free to verify in the mirror. :D
 
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