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Weight loss, climbing into windows and gf cheating on me
- Thread starter Lord_Balkan
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Poor GRIMES
Banned
edit: nm
IISANDERII
Member
The real fucked up thing is that you thought you were in full control of the relationship and it turned out that she was in control all along.
Dude, the whole thing was premeditated. This was no "damn, so horny right now". She was making plans with her ex for when you were supposed to be out of town.
Lord_Balkan
Member
Yeah... I don't know if I should even stay her friend.
heavy liquid
Member
No, you should not. As many other people have already said, make a clean break and move on. She'll be fine. Put your energy into your health and you'll be fine, too.
Triggerhappytel
Member
Honestly, you sound like you are in a bad place mentally, and she seems to have an awful lot of issues too. I think maybe it's best if you drop her and find someone a bit more mature who stimulates you intellectually and who isn't unreliable and doesn't have so much baggage. I mean, are you sure that deep down you can ever actually trust her?
Good job on the weight loss though. I'm nearing 35, married with 3 kids and I desperately need to lose about 4 stone (64lbs). Just can't find the motivation and I like crisps an awful lot.
What are your interests? Is there a film club in your town? Sports clubs? A choir? (I used to be in a choir and it was a lot of fun, but I had to leave due to family commitments).
EDIT - also, was this boyfriend she called the father of her child? And are you sure it was only a kiss and she didn't sleep with him?
Good job on the weight loss though. I'm nearing 35, married with 3 kids and I desperately need to lose about 4 stone (64lbs). Just can't find the motivation and I like crisps an awful lot.
What are your interests? Is there a film club in your town? Sports clubs? A choir? (I used to be in a choir and it was a lot of fun, but I had to leave due to family commitments).
EDIT - also, was this boyfriend she called the father of her child? And are you sure it was only a kiss and she didn't sleep with him?
thecouncil
Banned
Triggerhappytel
Member
Her best friend's mum is essentially her guardian. This girl has had an awful life and been in a lot of shitty relationships, so I can understand the mother being protective of her even at 20. She wants to make sure the new boyfriend is not a shitlord.
This is the best thing for her right now, and I think the best thing for you is to step away and find someone who is more mentally stable who you can actually trust.
I mean, the fact that she had planned to hook up with her ex on the night you were supposed to be out of town is pretty fucking damning. She doesn't deserve you and you're obviously a sensitive soul, so I suggest bailing and finding someone better.
1000% this as well. If you decide to break up, under no circumstances go back to her!
Lord_Balkan
Member
I don't think he is the father. And I am not sure. It is possible she slept with him but at the same time she was on her period. So who knows. I guess it doesn't really matter at this point.
rocketskates
Member
I agree with this. Sorry OP, but once a cheater always a cheater. Think about it like this: you only found out because she got caught. If you hadn't been there to see those messages at that very moment, she'd probably be getting pounded hard within the hour. Remember her excuse, because she was in the mood.
The girl's a slut. Nothing else to it.
The last thing you want to do is force yourself to stay in a relationship where there's no trust. You'll end up hating not only her but yourself.
Lord_Balkan
Member
I broke it off today... It took me some time but I needed to get my head straight. She pulled a "I guess everything we did meant nothing to you". Absolutely ridiculous considering everything.
DeathoftheEndless
Crashing this plane... with no survivors!
Cheaters who get caught frequently try to blame the victim. Don't worry about it.
GifGafIsTheBestGaf
Member
good for you op, congrats on the weight loss
Good for you man, you did the absolute best thing. You keep on improving you and you will find someone who treats you with mutual respect and affection, not some broken cheater using you as something to make herself feel good.
I broke it off today... It took me some time but I needed to get my head straight. She pulled a "I guess everything we did meant nothing to you". Absolutely ridiculous considering everything.
She'll probably try and get you back or try and make you feel bad, just remember how much it hurt when she cheated and give her the cold shoulder.
PdotMichael
Banned
Every fucking dance school. It's like dynamite fishing.
Zvonimir Boban
Banned
I broke it off today... It took me some time but I needed to get my head straight. She pulled a "I guess everything we did meant nothing to you". Absolutely ridiculous considering everything.
haha, good on you for not falling for that emotional manipulation.
You're doing the right thing.
Soldiussnaku
Member
I broke it off today... It took me some time but I needed to get my head straight. She pulled a "I guess everything we did meant nothing to you". Absolutely ridiculous considering everything.
Good for you man. She'll try and stick a knife in you emotionally or try and get you back, don't forget.to stick it in before she does(no pun intended) and laugh off her attempts to try and get you back.
KoopaTheCasual
Junior Member
Wowowowow. Yo, my original reply to this thread was sympathetic, but fuck outta here with that.
I broke it off today... It took me some time but I needed to get my head straight. She pulled a "I guess everything we did meant nothing to you". Absolutely ridiculous considering everything.
She is clearly SEVERLY lacking in maturity to come at you with that.
Dancer, can confirm.
Weeknight and weekend afternoon classes (in my experience) usually have a good deal of mid-20somethings.
How About No
Member
Lord_Balkan
Member
I have to be honest, I am not the type of person at all to normally step into situations like this. Thirst made me walk into foolish things.
OP, your ex sounds like my ex. She pulled the same shit when I broke up with her (after finding out she was sexting both her ex and someone she met while traveling abroad). She'd blame me for things.
It still hurts even after these months but honestly, when I think about how happy she made me, I also think about how much she hurt and used me.
So congrats. You don't need that. And don't ever go back to her or talk to her.
It still hurts even after these months but honestly, when I think about how happy she made me, I also think about how much she hurt and used me.
So congrats. You don't need that. And don't ever go back to her or talk to her.
Omegasquash
Member
Trying to use guilt to keep you. It's a classic move.
Missed opportunity to say "Nah it did, but the lying means more."
Conor_Fool
Banned
Can't believe I read all that for that ending...
Dude, have some self respect and dip. I hear ya, it's tough and everything, but it's over. She's going to do it again, shit isn't healthy. Get out of there, keep working on the weight loss (congrats btw, that's awesome) and get yourself another chick.
You'll be fine man. Don't sell yourself short.
Edit: reading now you broke it off, good. Keep it that way, get back in the game.
Dude, have some self respect and dip. I hear ya, it's tough and everything, but it's over. She's going to do it again, shit isn't healthy. Get out of there, keep working on the weight loss (congrats btw, that's awesome) and get yourself another chick.
You'll be fine man. Don't sell yourself short.
Edit: reading now you broke it off, good. Keep it that way, get back in the game.
IISANDERII
Member
Not ridiculous; she's a proven liar so that's completely within her character to say that.
I broke it off today... It took me some time but I needed to get my head straight. She pulled a "I guess everything we did meant nothing to you". Absolutely ridiculous considering everything.
Anyway, good for you!
Lord_Balkan
Member
I've been extremely stressed out today. I think she had a Freudian slip. She said she hates this, I said I hate it too, and wish the cheating and lying never happened.
She said "I'm not doing that no more"
Which makes it sound like she's done it frequently. This is what I suspected, but it still feels like complete shit. Feels bad man.
She said "I'm not doing that no more"
Which makes it sound like she's done it frequently. This is what I suspected, but it still feels like complete shit. Feels bad man.
Escape Goat
Member
There it is.gif
I was thinking it when I first read the story but this strengthens my suspicion that she might be a major sociopath and a lot of stuff she's told you has been fabricated, both about her behavior and past.
Regardless, it's for the best you moved on.
Gordon Shumway
Banned
Good job on the weight loss, homie..MyFitnessPal is great.
Lord_Balkan
Member
I told her it sounds like she cheated frequently by saying that. She just responded "I will talk to you later" It is about bedtime now and I haven't heard from her since. I think she knows she fucked up. She had her chance and she fucked it up.
I only offered to talk to her just to clear any lose ends up and get some closure. But it seems like she is too guilty to even face me.
Agree. Break it off clean.
oxrock
Gravity is a myth, the Earth SUCKS!
Cheater's cheat, it's what they do. It's not a behavior that often happens once and then stops. It just keeps happening, especially if you get away with it for a while. Do yourself a favor and cut all contact, it does you no good to keep up a relationship with her. The sooner the emotions can go away and your rational mind can fully regain control, the better. Keep working on improving yourself and realize that you deserve more. You deserve someone as committed to you as you are to them. Don't settle for someone who fools around with other guys and then gives you word documents as evidence of their innocence, aim higher in life buddy. Good luck.
Edit: Closure is a fallacy made up for movies, it does not exist in reality. Nothing will make you feel better about this. Space from the situation and time are the only solution. The sooner you cut contact the better.
Zvonimir Boban
Banned
Yup, delete her number from your phone, block her on social media and all the rest of that stuff.
Will probably be a while before you get your head straight but it's worth it. Staying in touch, even as 'friends', while your emotions are still running high just makes it more likely that you'll cave and end up back together.
Will probably be a while before you get your head straight but it's worth it. Staying in touch, even as 'friends', while your emotions are still running high just makes it more likely that you'll cave and end up back together.
How About No
Member
Don't bother trying to get closure from her. Break it off, gtfo
Lord_Balkan
Member
I am starting to feel better about things. I am just worried about how the weekends will go now. I might just drive up to see my parents to keep me busy.
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