Japanmanx3
Member
Smh
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Weight loss, climbing into windows and gf cheating on me
- Thread starter Lord_Balkan
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Smh
Herr Schwarz
Banned
It takes empathy and self restraint to reason with your partner as to why they did what they did.
It takes an even bigger heart and faith to reconcile with that partner after they've displayed a sincere want to mend things.
Allowing yourself to be consumed by rage isn't self-respect it's self-defeat.
Lord_Balkan
Member
MercuryLS3
Junior Member
I say that in jest/love. I couldn't make it through the story but I appreciate the images peppered throughout.
Zvonimir Boban
Banned
This might be my favourite post all year.
Remaining friends with her should be fine, but a relationship is out of the question. She broke your trust, she will do it again and again.
Chalk it up to experience, be for her as a friend only, keep up the good work with the weight loss as therapy. Start going to the gym or take up spinning classes, it will do you a lot of good. You're young, just go out there and have fun with what you can, but don't ever put yourself in a situation where you will be suffering.
Chalk it up to experience, be for her as a friend only, keep up the good work with the weight loss as therapy. Start going to the gym or take up spinning classes, it will do you a lot of good. You're young, just go out there and have fun with what you can, but don't ever put yourself in a situation where you will be suffering.
MastAndo
Member
You're young yet. Gain some experience. At this point, you're ill-equipped emotionally to deal with someone with so much baggage. I think down the road you'll look at this a bullet dodged.
It doesn't sound like she was all that into you anyway based on her initial inclination to be distant and flaky, nor is she over her ex (or at least having him around as an option at least). I also hate to be the bearer of bad news, but hook ups with exes don't usually stop at a kiss, because well, why would they?
Congrats on your weight loss, by the by. Really impressive stuff.
It doesn't sound like she was all that into you anyway based on her initial inclination to be distant and flaky, nor is she over her ex (or at least having him around as an option at least). I also hate to be the bearer of bad news, but hook ups with exes don't usually stop at a kiss, because well, why would they?
Congrats on your weight loss, by the by. Really impressive stuff.
Herr Schwarz
Banned
I'm saying he should go to his girlfriend who I think would probably prefer to be referred to as a human being or woman as a reference point as opposed to "rape victim".
It's generally not a great thing to define people by the horrific shit done to them.
His trust has been broken so he needs to assert a level of control over the relationship until he can feel he can trust her again. It's absolutely understandable.
Maybe it's you that should stop posting.
Zvonimir Boban
Banned
Lol ok. Because relationships where one partner asserts a great deal of control over the other via ultimatum go really well, especially when both parties are dealing with baggage that has them both seeing therapists.
What a brilliant idea.
Herr Schwarz
Banned
Yeah and like I've already advised the OP in previous posts before your tunnel vision personal projection boner took hold, is that it would probably be best to get out of there as there's no way he's emotionally equipped to handle it.
I then proceeded to offer advice on how to heal the situation if he wanted to stick with it. How horrible?
And again, I'm the one who should stop posting, ok jan.
And by control, you've never heard of "he wears the pants in that relationship" or the relationship Monica and Chandler have in Friends?
One partner is generally the shot caller in a relationship, and levels of control or who decides what varies per relationship on a pretty wide spectrum.
If you've lost a tonne of trust in the relationship then changes have to be made for the mean time.
This is where i had to peace out but it was a wild ride OP. happy you lost the weight
Way to lose weight! Way to get a girl! Way to stand up for yourself!
Be as empathetic as you can be, but recognise Nancy is clearly too emotionally immature to be a good fit for you.
Never settle when it comes to relationships; there will always be new opportunities and new people. Don't let fear of being alone dictate your behaviour. The fear is baseless; and more importantly, it's indicative of an issue you need to work on: being comfortable as a single person again.
Be as empathetic as you can be, but recognise Nancy is clearly too emotionally immature to be a good fit for you.
Never settle when it comes to relationships; there will always be new opportunities and new people. Don't let fear of being alone dictate your behaviour. The fear is baseless; and more importantly, it's indicative of an issue you need to work on: being comfortable as a single person again.
Lord_Balkan
Member
Yeah. I don't know if i really believe her. She says she stopped it, but I think what happened was she was just on her period so she couldn't. The fucked up thing is her ex was texting her Saturday, when I was going to be out of town, asking her "why are you ignoring me when we tryna hang"... well it was because i was actually in town. So my suspicion is that she set up something with him then because she knew I was going to be in Chicago.
This was just me trying to inject some humor, and not wanting to post my name. My name is not actually Lord_Balkan.
7DollarHagane
Banned
Man idk how people deal with these complicated as fuck relationships after the age of 20 or so.
No baggage, that's the rules. Fuck that.
No baggage, that's the rules. Fuck that.
Zvonimir Boban
Banned
And that's where you would have left things if you bothered to stop and think.
When both of them are obviously incapable of making this work at this point in their lives then yes, it's potentially quite harmful.
Who the fuck is Jan?
You know Friends isn't a documentary right?
But whatever, if OP wants to listen to your bullshit then more fool him.
I've said my piece so I'm out of here.
Lord_Balkan
Member
I knew I had a goldmine with that image, and I couldn't just sit on it.
Vulcano's assistant
Banned
with that title, I thought this was a thread about a Netflix comedy special
Electric Eye
Banned
Hickeys are ghetto af. Your whole story is ghetto af. Congrats on the weight loss though and look if things get worse break it off and use the anger to further push yourself.
Lord_Balkan
Member
I did grow up on the south side of Chicago.
Vincent Alexander
Member
I got halfway through and decided this is too long...so I jumped to last paragraph. But then that left me curious, so then I read the previous one, and then the other....until I'd read half the story backwards and caught up.
Anywho, sorry OP. That shit sounds stressful. But hey---good work on the weight loss and building that self confidence. Don't drop it now because of one relationship. I'm impressed what you've accomplished. You're a champ.
Anywho, sorry OP. That shit sounds stressful. But hey---good work on the weight loss and building that self confidence. Don't drop it now because of one relationship. I'm impressed what you've accomplished. You're a champ.
Vincent Grayson
Member
This is a pretty new relationship, and she's already lied to you about hooking up with an ex. And that's ignoring that she's obviously had a seriously troubled life, and you don't sound emotionally prepared (nor should you be) to handle something like that.
I would move on, and chalk this up to some relationship experience as the new you. There will be more, and some of them will really fucking hurt. But don't stick with this girl out of fear of being lonely. Forge ahead in your new life and go meet people.
I would move on, and chalk this up to some relationship experience as the new you. There will be more, and some of them will really fucking hurt. But don't stick with this girl out of fear of being lonely. Forge ahead in your new life and go meet people.
Herr Schwarz
Banned
I'm not tit for tatting your bullshit policing of my posts son.
Yes I understand Friends isn't a documentary, amazing "rebuttal" I guess?
I'm using it in what's known as a point of reference to explain to your "what the fuck is this control bullshit" question you asked.
Yes you surely have projected your "piece" alright.
Dead Prince
Banned
i came in the thread expecting you were fat, fell out the window and had to lose weight.
Electric Eye
Banned
You get a pass.
FunkyMunkey
Banned
nancy fucking reagan
wut
wut
The One and Done
Member
OP is Genos from OPM
Sparrowhawk
Member
You could lose even more weight if you kicked the cheater to the curb for good.
Sweet cheeks is right.
Lord_Balkan
Member
I thought about framing the post as, I needed to lose all that weight so I will be able to climb through that window, but that would have made the story too ridiculous.
Yo... When someone say it's a long post, in my head I go "challenge accepted". Before I ever got my account I was a long time lurker. And I have to say, this is the first thread I never finished to read the whole thing. I got to the airplane pic and I'm like whelp I'm fucking done. I feel like I have failed in life.
Back to persona cause despair is some bullshit debuff but I overcame that dungeon, fuck yeah!
Back to persona cause despair is some bullshit debuff but I overcame that dungeon, fuck yeah!
Well, I thought I had made the weird ass OT thread of nonsense of the day, but I salute you sir, well played, well played in deed.
Also, seriously fucking congrats on losing weight. Don't stop focusing on your goals, in hard times it may be good to have some blinders on.
Shit with girls will work it self out, I now it isn't to hear but seriously, it will work itself out and you will be better from it.
Congrats on the weight loss again friend, I know that is some hard to do shit.
Also, seriously fucking congrats on losing weight. Don't stop focusing on your goals, in hard times it may be good to have some blinders on.
Shit with girls will work it self out, I now it isn't to hear but seriously, it will work itself out and you will be better from it.
Congrats on the weight loss again friend, I know that is some hard to do shit.
Discotheque
Banned
That image she sent you is hilarious. Just such a blatant lie
I dunno why you're even bothering with advice here. This is clear as day that you should move on from her. Such a hassle. And she'd likely habitually cheat on you too
I dunno why you're even bothering with advice here. This is clear as day that you should move on from her. Such a hassle. And she'd likely habitually cheat on you too
Dead Prince
Banned
I actually thought about posting that first but I prefer this one just because
Lord_Balkan
Member
Yeah, well I wanted to share this because it is so ridiculous that I honestly have a hard time believing myself... And I do care about her and am trying to be empathetic with what she's been through. But at the end of the day I don't really trust much of what ever she says. It honestly makes me doubt other things she has said to be. But I still do care about her. That's why I tried to convince her to get some therapy.
Making out with someone is not a relationship.
I'm a little confused on the timeline here, but you should not go around thinking you have some kind of committment to someone after a month. I realize you're hurt, but it is way out of proportion with what actually occurred, which was nothing.
I'm a little confused on the timeline here, but you should not go around thinking you have some kind of committment to someone after a month. I realize you're hurt, but it is way out of proportion with what actually occurred, which was nothing.
direct_quote
Member
Seemed like an appropriate response for a long and dragging on OP.
Lord_Balkan
Member
We were absolutely in a relationship the past couple months. It wasn't serious, but we both did commit to a relationship.
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