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When you get stood up on a Date

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Adam_Roman said:
Why do you feel the need to keep saying "I'm a man" in your posts? Generally when people do stuff like that it means they're the opposite of what they're saying. Like kids who constantly insist "I'm mature for my age".
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Yeah dude this is weird as fuck. I hope you weren't constantly saying this to the chick who's being an ass.

Also, stop wasting time on her. Ghost that shit.
 
Adam_Roman said:
Why do you feel the need to keep saying "I'm a man" in your posts? Generally when people do stuff like that it means they're the opposite of what they're saying. Like kids who constantly insist "I'm mature for my age".
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Just a guess, but I'm going to say it's tied to self worth/esteem issues. That's probably why he gave her another chance to let him down.
 
Armadilo said:
Sadly yes, after the first time she was telling me that she was sorry and this time, I basically had the tickets and told her if she was down,. She says Yeah, then 20 mins before the show. She's says that she can't go.

I need some self respect and stop giving her anymore of my time. I dress like a Man, talk like a Man, behave like a Man . Yet I feel like a kid when it comes to dating. Just have to keep searching
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What

The

Fuck

Dude come on. How you seriously gonna get stood up twice by the same girl.

I've never been stood up thankfully, but if I did that girl would be gone from my life.

My roommate was stood up before and it sounded awful.
 
Good rule of thumb - if someone breaks off plans with you (with an explanation), tell them the next date idea is on them. Will easily show if they're genuinely interested or just jerking you around.

Flaky people just don't respect your time. Or worse, they're trying to dump you but are too passive aggressive to say so, and too caught up in optics to just ghost on you. They are forcing you to get fed up and dump them.

Edit: general advice on first dates. They should be about getting to know someone. A show or movie doesn't allow much chit chat. Just keep it simple and grab drinks or coffee. If someone can't find the time to meet up for either, they're not really trying to date you. Move on.
 
Makonero said:
You didn't check in an hour or so before the date? Rookie move. If I get ghosted on the day of, I don't show.
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This is honestly a good rule to follow with almost all plans and not just dating. When I'm meeting friends we usually text the morning of and then again when we're leaving. The only people I don't do this with are my parents
 
always crazy bacon said:
Kind of is as you'd would already be at the venue waiting.He was left on his own without a date that agreed to be there.
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The day of texts are always important.

"Can't wait for this show tonight"
"I'll try to be at the venue at 645 to grab a parking spot and a table"
"Heading out now"

If someone doesn't respond to any of these, I'm not going.
 
Sho_Nuff82 said:
Edit: general advice on first dates. They should be about getting to know someone. A show or movie doesn't allow much chit chat. Just keep it simple and grab drinks or coffee. If someone can't find the time to meet up for either, they're not really trying to date you. Move on.
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Why not trying to land in bed together right away later that evening if everything runs well?
I think I never had a coffee date that led to anything.
 
StifflersMum said:
Why not trying to land in bed together right away later that evening if everything runs well?
I think I never had a coffee date that led to anything.
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I don't use online dating just for hookups anymore, and I think the OP is a few steps away from that anyway. Either way, closing on a first date isn't really a sign of compatibility, just attraction.
 
After she stood you up the first time you should have told her to pound sand. Stand up for yourself dude!
 
It's why I always bring a book. That way it looks normal and nobody questions it. Plus if they do show it, it's a conversation starter.

You'll thank me.
 
Armadilo said:
When it comes to dates, I always try my best. Because I want us both to have a good time. Just that I don't have luck When it comes to my date.
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Are you going to comedy shows and other events for a first date? If so, stop that. You'd feel better simply meeting up at a coffee shop if you get stood up. No cost to you (unless you buy a beverage) and you can just walk right out.

Living the Dream said:
It's why I always bring a book. That way it looks normal and nobody questions it. Plus if they do show it, it's a conversation starter.

You'll thank me.
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I normally bring a pistol and put it on the table.
 
I got stood up at prom, so yea getting stood up sucks. She decided at the last minute to go mall hopping with her girlfriends who weren't going and I didn't know till her mom told me when I came to pick her up and refused to take my calls. My prom was fucking ruined I and felt like such shit when I came in there alone and had to tell people what happened.

I wished cursed that girl that day and it apparently came true because afterward she got knocked up by some dude who ran off and got kicked out of her mom's house.
 
Armadilo said:
She's nice, but weird. I already told her that we should not text anymore until after we go on a date because we don't even know if we like each other. She got mad and told me to talk to her like a friend and not like if we were already dating.

I just thought that a date is important. I'm a Man who is kind. Time to move on
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Lord Fagan said:
Kind of strange, dude. These lyrics make this all seem like you're directing a music video, or something.
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Yeah...noticed that too...wtf is this "kind man" thing you keep repeating OP?
 
Armadilo said:
Sadly yes, after the first time she was telling me that she was sorry and this time, I basically had the tickets and told her if she was down,. She says Yeah, then 20 mins before the show. She's says that she can't go.

I need some self respect and stop giving her anymore of my time. I dress like a Man, talk like a Man, behave like a Man . Yet I feel like a kid when it comes to dating. Just have to keep searching
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I mean, from experience I gotta say if you actually do like that girl you should probably also tell her why there's not going to be a 3rd time. You might be surprised, but sometimes the no shower is only doing it because they assume you're a pushover. Tell the person you won't be their pushover and they may be the one who has to make that extra effort if they think it's worth it.

And it's a win/win because if things don't go that route you've laid out your thoughts and cut ties so you can move on to greener fields, and she can stop and think for a bit if she was in the wrong and has some apologies to make or is just not as interested as she led you to believe.
 
Armadilo said:
When it comes to dates, I always try my best. Because I want us both to have a good time. Just that I don't have luck When it comes to my date.
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Um.

I mean not to distract from the fact that you got stood up twice by the same person, but this isn't a good outlook.

You are going somewhere to have a good time, not show your date a good time. They'll get that on their own if things work out, but it's not something you should try to control. On a first date, the person you've invited should be along for the ride.

But back on topic, you got stood up twice by the same girl. Good that you're getting the message and moving on, but learn from it.
 
From what girls have told me, if a guy persists with calling himself a good guy or a nice guy, usually they're a weirdo oddball type.

If a guy even drops that once its in my head he's a weirdo.

"why do girls always pick the jerks?"
"girls should go with me I'm so nice!"

Creeps.
 
So you went out with a girl who already stood you up.

You told here that she shouldn't be texting you anymore before the date for some reason (which sounds rude and weird).

You bought tickets to something beforehand, so you spent money while the girl stood you up before.

I'm sorry, but while I get you are feeling bad about it, you need to work on the issues you have. And stop calling yourself a Man like you do, it comes off as creepy and as if you feel yourself better then the girl.
 
Enter The 36 Chambers said:
From what girls have told me, if a guy persists with calling himself a good guy or a nice guy, usually they're a weirdo oddball type.

If a guy even drops that once its in my head he's a weirdo.

"why do girls always pick the jerks?"
"girls should go with me I'm so nice!"

Creeps.
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Yup, as if being good or nice is some incredible trait that women should be eternally thankful for and throw themselves at.
 
I've never been stood up but I can only imagine how that must feel. You either make the best of it like you did OP or let it get to you. I'd like to believe I would make the best of it.

Also forget that girl, after the first time being stood up I'd only give her the chance if she takes me out.

Good thing I'm married but the way things are looking I'll probably be getting stood up soon. Don't worry GAF, I probably won't make a thread about it....
 
I was trying to arrange a date with a girl, she kept cancelling. After the first 2 times I was doing it for my amusement as to how many times she can keep on doing this. I think on the 6th or 5th time she was actually going to turn up judging by the upset message she sent me when I didn't follow through.

Years prior I had an ex playing these games with me, it was really crushing my self worth. When you only know 1 girl who gives you the time of day (even if its completely wrong time) she becomes a huge focus in your life. Somehow I got out of that fucking mess. Since then I don't let people like that stay in my life.

Self worth is not only about building yourself up, but also not letting others tear your down.
 
When I'm meeting up with someone, whether it be friends or for a date, If I get there first I typically don't get out of my car until they're there so I don't end up waiting outside.
 
always crazy bacon said:
Again?

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=232893877&postcount=8820

Please tell us it's not THE SAME girl....
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Armadilo said:
Sadly yes
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TaSjl1S.gif
 
Damn OP. Sounds like you've got a lot goin on. I haven't been stood up yet. Would be crushed if it happened.
 
Time to move on. As someone else said, the first time it happened it was shame on her, the second time it is shame on you. Honestly it sounds like you struggle with self esteem issues. Someone with high self esteem would have shown this woman the door by now. She's not worth your time anymore.
 
Armadilo said:
It fucking sucks, you get already and try your best because somebody is going to spend their time and you want to make that time worth it for them, the both of you.

But that date never shows up and you stay waiting for a long time and you're just some lonely dude waiting for someone that never showed up.

Maybe there has been similar threads, don't know.

But at the end whoever stood you up isn't worth it. Comes back to you giving someone a minute of your time and they can't even give you a second of theirs.

(Today I got stood up at a comedy show, empty seat next to me but still got some laughs, so it was ok kinda :l
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That sucks man, I been there before, just lesson learned and move on. Nothing you can do about it, stay strong.
 
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