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[Raven117]

Yeah, things have changed a lot. There is an odd dynamic that's happening with dating apps. This isn't something I know about from personal experience; I've been out of the dating pool for 13 years; but it's something I've heard over and over.

Back in our day, women would have a relatively small pool of guys to choose from -- the local high school guys, the local college guys, or rather, the subset of those guys who'd be willing to approach them. Now, though, dating apps have opened the field for any man within hundreds of miles to hit on her, and with minimal risk. Attractive women get thousands of messages a day. Plain-looking, average women get hundreds. Even ugly women get tons of messages from guys.

What happens is that turns women's natural pickiness about mating partners (their selectivity) higher, because it's a seller's market -- there are customers for her p-sleeve lined up around the block (the world is full of simps). She's able to bed really attractive guys, because guys aren't particularly selective with who they sleep with.

The woman then gets inflated expectations for what she can get. Because she's gotten highly attractive men to bang her in the past, that's all she'll settle for now. After all, she's got hundreds of guys hitting on her every day. She can be as choosey as she likes.

What this leads to is a situation where 80% of the women go after the top 20% of guys. The other 80% of men are left taking sloppy seconds (more like sloppy twentieths or thirtieists nowadays) or else walking away.

Another factor is that modern dating apps exclusively focus on looks. Personality, intelligence, game, etc. play very little role, at least initially. It's all about physical attractiveness.

I’ve heard similar things. Wont opine as to the “pickiness” of women. They can choose whomever they like or holdout for whomever they want to. (Doesn’t hurt I’m in that 20 percent, booyah!)

I know that people that really work the apps have a such a bizzare sense of chemistry. It’s like, things are a checklist. Pros and cons on a sheet. Sometimes ya just know right away whether it’s going to be something you are interested in but I always took the position that if I didn’t hate her after date 1, I’d always sign up for a date 2. First dates are awkward. I’m not going to hold someone to a specific skill set of “good first dates” as that is not an indication of who they are.
it seems folks on the apps are way quicker in the draw to throw in the towel because they know they can just find someone else by the next day. Passing over good people whom they may have had a connection with but didn’t meet some “first day skill” standard. Just a bummer.

Dating is fun! It’s supposed to be fun. So many of those heavy app users approach the whole thing like a job.

 

[Humdinger]

I’ve heard similar things. Wont opine as to the “pickiness” of women. They can choose whomever they like or holdout for whomever they want to. (Doesn’t hurt I’m in that 20 percent, booyah!)

I know that people that really work the apps have a such a bizzare sense of chemistry. It’s like, things are a checklist. Pros and cons on a sheet. Sometimes ya just know right away whether it’s going to be something you are interested in but I always took the position that if I didn’t hate her after date 1, I’d always sign up for a date 2. First dates are awkward. I’m not going to hold someone to a specific skill set of “good first dates” as that is not an indication of who they are.
it seems folks on the apps are way quicker in the draw to throw in the towel because they know they can just find someone else by the next day. Passing over good people whom they may have had a connection with but didn’t meet some “first day skill” standard. Just a bummer.

Dating is fun! It’s supposed to be fun. So many of those heavy app users approach the whole thing like a job.

If you're in the top 20% -- and I'll take your word for it -- then you're having a field day. Enjoy. But understand that you cannot relate to what it's like for the other 80%.

Again, this isn't something I've experienced personally; I'm out of the dating pool and have been for a long time. I'm just explaining how social media and dating apps have altered the landscape.

 

[nush]

Sometimes ya just know right away whether it’s going to be something you are interested in but I always took the position that if I didn’t hate her after date 1, I’d always sign up for a date 2. First dates are awkward. I’m not going to hold someone to a specific skill set of “good first dates” as that is not an indication of who they are.

As another 20%-er, I'd leave convos with women even before getting to a first date. I'd have a "A"list who I'd try to get dates with first and a "B" list for times when no "A"s were available. I never did have the need for the "B"'s and they would just drop out by themselves when I never asked them for a date.

Now the old me, would have over-invested in the first woman that showed interest, reasoned away any of her bad points because this was the only chance I'm getting in a long time.

But you're right, I did give up easy even when I'd been on a date or had a hookup because a new chance was often just a click away. I did find someone in the end, she dipped into online dating and was put off by the mens messages and dick pics. I managed to get her before she tapped out of using them. There's a lot of women who don't use the dating apps for those reasons.

Interesting stats from Pew research

10 facts about Americans and online dating

Three-in-ten U.S. adults say they have ever used a dating site or app, but this varies significantly by age and sexual orientation.

www.pewresearch.org

 

[Reality Czar]

Only ever dated women that were in the music and arts and entertainment scenes, famously liberal and tbh, that is probably why they have all been feminists, now that I think about it. lol.

This is why I want to look for a trad wife. Perhaps my chances would be better with someone who is looking for something more traditional. That is my hope.

 

[West Texas CEO]

Interesting to see the mix of red pilled guys and those who trot out the predictable "incel" slurs. GAF, what a mix. Diversity is our strength!

Ye, I'm just glad that this thread has had some semblance of intelligent discussion on the topic, rather than completely devolving into some FaceLMS bullshit.