If you don't have the patience to endure one wipe then you don't deserve loot either. It's not wanting a quick and clean clear, it's wanting people to silently carry you and then scapegoating your own personal failure as a raid leader. This is a multiplayer game, and if you're pugging members you need to act like it and not treat other players like garbage. The LFG tool is ok but it does nothing to combat the 'one pull then reform' treadmill a lot of players are on since discovering their old guilds aren't coming back.
If you're the one joining a guild group, you're at their mercy. If you don't want to be at their mercy, you have two choices - go find a guild or be the person forming the group. Guilds don't pug players to carry them, they pug them because they need bodies. Sometimes the bodies you get don't work out, so you get rid of them. Raid leading isn't what it used to be back in the day, only at the very top level is there really a leader giving orders any more. Nowadays people are simply expected to do their homework and perform on the fight themselves. There's no one telling them to move to the left, or right, or to get whelps or switch tanks or whatever.
I remember this phenomenon clearly picking up when wotlk raids became pugable.. it was so strange joining one on my alt and seeing there was no clear leadership, but it was also sort of refreshing to see everyone just know what to do (and frustrating when they didn't.) I still prefer the days where I micromanaged every single person in the raid, but it's unreasonable at this point to expect that level of management from people who probably have never even lead a raid before, they're just the guy who sent out the invites to the guild members.
Anyway, I just don't think this is some new shift in the wow community. Unless you're with a set a of friends where the tolerance for mistakes is high, it's always going to be expected that making a mistake is a death sentence.
