I'm playing on PS4 and I agree with your friend's roommate. I often stop and marvel at how good the game looks as I play.
I'll accept that some people really are having a miserable time getting hit by bugs and constant sub 20 frame rates if folks like you will accept that some of us simply aren't having that kind of experience with the game. 20+ hours in, I've had only a handful of minor glitches, generally involving a random NPC here and there doing something weird, and precisely two cases of bizarre unaccounted for fps apocalypse. It just isn't enough to significantly impact the fun I'm having the other 99% of the time. I'm not seeing the broken mess of a game others are describing. If others are, my heart and sympathies go out to them. Personally, I had a much worse time playing AC3.
That doesn't mean I think it's OK for Ubisoft or anyone else to release a game with this many bugs, and fuck Ubisoft for continually doing so. But I'm not gonna lie... Unity is not "broken" in my experience. Far from it.