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[Professor Renegade]

 

[Gattsu25]

I feel slightly sick. Kudos!

Hey, thanks!

 

[munchie64]

Good to see this thread back from the dead.

HA!

 

[Ally of Justice]

Here's the address, feel free to forward it, but for your safety, come alone and don't worry, "they" cannot read it:

Spoiler

                                                                                                                                             

 

[Aurongel]

That was when the doctor told me I had acidic tears. I've never cried harder in my life.

 

[QuantumDerp]

I was going up and down. I realized I was the booty.

 

[Bowdz]

"Welcome home Mr. President". Donald Trump smirked with approval.

 

[Zombine]

5 months later and it was all over. She broke my Groot and she stole my charger.

 

[Knit Your Own Porridge]

Have you checked your closet lately? Maybe you should check now.

 

[Belle Amour]

Ahahaha nice one...made me lol

5 months later and it was all over. She broke my Groot and she stole my charger.

 

[bob_arctor]

"Abandon all hope ye who enter here."

He shut the gate behind him and continued on.

 

[Gordon Shumway]

He woke up, drunk and naked, next to his mother.

They named the child Jericho..

 

[Kevin]

Jericho was a hideous beast of a child. Three arms, four eyes and the brain of a pigeon.

 

[Blargonaut]

The bass dropped. He starved to death.

 

[GiantEnemyGoomba]

That's strange; I don't remember falling asleep with the lights off. I attempted to get out of bed, only to be met with a bump on the head followed by a shower of sand.

 

[Mistake]

Nightmares looming of a broken stick. A q-tip in my dick

 

[Order]

He woke up, drunk and naked, next to his mother.

They named the child Jericho..

I laughed so hard I passed out.

I never woke up.

 

[Prototype Viktor]

Walked outside Home.
The blue jag was gone.

 

[Crimson-Death]

Als Gregor Samsa eines Morgens aus unruhigen Träumen erwachte, fand er sich in seinem Bett zu einem ungeheuren Ungeziefer verwandelt.
Er lag auf seinem panzerartig harten Rücken und sah, wenn er den Kopf ein wenig hob, seinen gewölbten, braunen, von bogenförmigen Versteifungen geteilten Bauch, auf dessen Höhe sich die Bettdecke, zum gänzlichen Niedergleiten bereit, kaum noch erhalten konnte.

This is fucking great, and made me smile.

And with that level of sophistication, I am glad to wait awhile before moving on to Windows 10.

5 months later and it was all over. She broke my Groot and she stole my charger.

Came for this to be honest.
I knew someone would do it.

"Welcome home Mr. President". Donald Trump smirked with approval.

Now THIS right here is true HORROR....

 

[Regiruler]

That was a good day's work. With any luck, no one will hear him.

 

[Dice]

Just sat down on the toilet. Suddenly, a spider.

 

[uncelestial]

They're making a new Star Wars. The guy who wrote Armageddon is directing it.

 

[poipoipoi9]

Erin may be a bit old, but she still has the heart of a child.

It's right next to the paperclips.

 

[Iph]

The student's breathing was shallow as he looked down at the subdued, prone body on the lab table, "Is this necessary?"

"Oh, you've never performed a vivisection on a live human before?", the doctor asked, a patronizing grin.

 

[Switch Back 9]

As I walked out of the mall I heard yelling, and noticed a group of people had gathered around a car in the sweltering parking lot. Using my hand to block the blazing sun, I glanced down and realized the carriage I had been pushing for the last hour was empty…

 

[Lufiaddict]

Als Gregor Samsa eines Morgens aus unruhigen Träumen erwachte, fand er sich in seinem Bett zu einem ungeheuren Ungeziefer verwandelt.
Er lag auf seinem panzerartig harten Rücken und sah, wenn er den Kopf ein wenig hob, seinen gewölbten, braunen, von bogenförmigen Versteifungen geteilten Bauch, auf dessen Höhe sich die Bettdecke, zum gänzlichen Niedergleiten bereit, kaum noch erhalten konnte.

This is fucking great, and made me smile.

.

 

[B.O.O.M]

Thirteen hour flight. Middle Seat.

 

[Shadow_Lord]

8GB RAM. 3.5GB RESERVED.

i hope i didnt frighten anyone too much

Edit: Holy Hell, I didn't realize how old this thread was.

 

[Unit 33]

1. I reached to dial for the police. But of course, he had already taken my fingers.

2. After 15 years of separation, he finally saw his family. They did not recognise him and he was subsequently hit by a bus.

3. I have been alone on this island for 3 years. This morning there were footprints coming from the ocean.

 

[ChubbyHuggs]

He opened the door. "It's goofy time!"

 

[Ahasverus]

The brightest day turned into the darkest anguish as he remembered he wasn't the only one inside his car that distant morning.

 

[FuuRe]

A man lost in the woods at night arrived to an abandoned house which had a room filled with portraits of people.

When he woke up the next day, he realized that the room didn't have portraits, just a lot of small windows.

 

[Gattsu25]

She peered over the desolate horizon one last pleading time, cursed her empty food supplies, and then set the blade to her thigh. Alone, she relished in the taste of the sun dried meat as the hunger overcame her.

 

[Easy_D]

Our road trip was going well, hungry he was, my friend had some yoghurt.
My friend was lactose intolerant.

 

[Slackbladder]

I thought I had deleted the contents of the recycle bin. But I had deleted the recycle bin itself!

 

[protonion]

100 years from now...

WE'LL ALL BE DEAD!

 

[jaypah]

That's strange; I don't remember falling asleep with the lights off. I attempted to get out of bed, only to be met with a bump on the head followed by a shower of sand.

Oh man, this is great.

She peered over the desolate horizon one last pleading time, cursed her empty food supplies, and then set the blade to her thigh. Alone, she relished in the taste of the sun dried meat as the hunger overcame her.

This is great too, wow.

 

[Ambient80]

The gaffer walked out of the Taco Bell, noting all of the "Closed" signs on the windows of businesses around him. Suddenly, he realized he used the last bit of toilet paper this morning.

 

[Alligatorjandro]

I went to the cocktail bar with my friends. To my horror they all ordered the same drinks.

 

[Cidd]

Donald Trump.

45th president.....

 

[gulfamashraf]

Donald Trump.

45th president.....

HA!

 

[SpiralZilla]

The guy's friend asked if he could borrow his razor, for he had run out, and the guy said, "Sure." Some time later, the friend came out of the bathroom and said, "Thanks," his beard as full as when he went in.

Spoiler

Also, too many jokes here cheat the two sentence limit with run-on sentences/comma splices.

 

[Gordon Shumway]

I went to the cocktail bar with my friends. To my horror they all ordered the same drinks.

At first, I was like "Dawg.."

Donald Trump.

45th president.....

and then, I was like "Dawg!!"

 

[Archer]

I just farted.

Sorry.

 

[ZackieChan]

He flashed his devilish grin at her. Then he flashed his devilish everything else...

 

[Symphonia]

You tried logging in one day to NeoGAF.

You couldn't because you were banned.

 

[ZackieChan]

You tried logging in one day to NeoGAF.

You couldn't because you were banned.

the feels...

 

[SalvaPot]

You take a bite off your burger.

The clerk is looking at you, smiling.

 

[Gordon Shumway]

You take a bite off your burger.

The clerk is looking at you, smiling.

 

[Crimson-Death]

I had the left most urinal so surely he'd take the right most one, or one of the two wide open stalls, but after the door creaked open, a slithery shadow slowly crept up beside me getting bigger and bigger.

He didn't GAF, he got on the one right next to me.



Triggered by
Crimson-Death
based on true events as told by Admiral Woofington.