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[shanafan]

I've got my fingers crossed that I hear back from this lady today or tomorrow.

Back story:

Through my work, we do a pen pal program with a local elementary school (1st and 2nd graders). This was my third year participating. The most recent school year had me corresponding with an adorable little second grader. At the start and end of the year, we visit the school to meet our pal. A few weeks into June after the school year ended, I got an email from the mother of the girl. She had looked me up (I'm a public worker, so it isn't exactly hard to track me down) and was thanking me for being a good friend and role model for her daughter. We talked back and forth for about a month and a half through email (kinda flirty), and I steered us into meeting so I could get a picture of the two of us (little girl) together.

As an aside:


We ended up meeting on Saturday and spent a couple of hours together with her and her two daughters. She's divorced and I feel like we connected. She took a picture of me and the two girls and asked if I wanted her to take a picture with my phone. Cunning guy that I am, I just told her to send me a copy of the pic she took with her phone. Obviously so there would be reason for us to correspond at least once more beyond that meeting.

I emailed her this morning and asked if she wanted to meet up again, with or without the kids. Listed my phone number. Apologized if I misinterpreted our connection, and ended by asking for the photo.

Ball is in her court. I'm pretty rusty on the dating game, but I feel pretty good about it, although nervous.

On Saturday, where did you end up meeting with her and her two daughters, and who planned?

I'd say offhand that it looks good, and good call on the misinterpretation comment.

 

[Paskil]

On Saturday, where did you end up meeting with her and her two daughters, and who planned?

I'd say offhand that it looks good, and good call on the misinterpretation comment.

We ended up meeting for lunch and for a walk around the Farmers Market. We split a bag of cheese curds and also went up into the Capitol onto the observation deck (this is where we took the picture of me with the girls). It's a hell of a view there.

The meetup place and time were her idea. I think this could go either way, since I don't really know exactly what to make of our lunch/walk. We talked about quite a few things and she seemed interested in personal details about me. Not holding my breath, but I am hopeful.

 

[n64coder]

The meetup place and time were her idea. I think this could go either way, since I don't really know exactly what to make of our lunch/walk. We talked about quite a few things and she seemed interested in personal details about me. Not holding my breath, but I am hopeful.

Way to go! At least you took the first step. The next one would be to ask for a dinner date if you think there's a connection. Worse thing that could happen is that she'll say no.

 

[Paskil]

Way to go! At least you took the first step. The next one would be to ask for a dinner date if you think there's a connection. Worse thing that could happen is that she'll say no.

Yeah, there are a lot of food carts in the general area that we were at and all three of them were talking about a cart that sells Korean tacos (I work in the same area, tried the cart when it first opened and thought they were nothing special). I told her I had made Korean tacos once a few years back (I had followed this recipe, with a few modifications). In the email I sent her this morning, I had asked if she wanted to go out for coffee or something, or I could make Korean tacos for her and the kids.

I've been analyzing all of the moves I've made so far in the leadup to us meeting, during the meet, and the email I sent this morning and I'm pretty impressed. I've never really had to do the whole new meeting dating thing in the past, as pretty much all my relationships just kind of happened. I can't believe I've been doing as well as I have, lol.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Uh, no, answering a question a co-worker asks about dating doesn't give signs that they like you. They're just giving an opinion, not trying to manipulate him into getting in bed with them. I mean, he's been single and not dating anyone in the very recent past. They could have tried then.

Yup. Plus, one is in her 40s and in a long-term relationship; another is married; and the last one is married and pregnant with her second child.

Uh no it doesn't.

Yup. Friends like to gossip about others' dating lives and live vicariously through them. Or, also kindly offer advice when a guy asks about the female perspective. Who would've thought it!?

 

[anaslexy]

Bro, you're overreacting. She loves sex AND she's going out of the country for a whole year. What do?

Thank you sir for getting my point!

 

[anaslexy]

Uh huh.

So you're gonna get her drunk and then try to bone her by insisting for her to stay at either a hotel or your place specifically because you got her drunk.

Real top-tier man, here. Tell whatever you wanna tell yourself to make you feel better.

You do realize that, according to the law, if someone is drunk, they are not able to give consent, right? And if, say, you two have sex while she's drunk, and she wakes up and finds that hey, she wasn't very happy you took advantage of her while drunk, that she could charge you with rape, right? And your defense of "well she was drunk!" isn't gonna fly in court.

Will that actually happen? Who knows, sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't. But why take the risk and instead try to woo her into the bed with your natural wit and charm, instead of ruining her judgement with alcohol?

But yeah, planning a date and a 'out' for the sole purpose of having sex with someone is sleazy, creepy, and a bit gross, whether or not she had an "interest" in sex. I mean, 98% of us have an interest in sex. Putting it on our profiles doesn't really make it a different game.



You misunderstood, He meant do other things as in 'other things that don't involve said girl', whether that's him doing him or him talking to other chicks.

Brother, as per my earlier post, she loves sex and will be leaving town for a year to pursue her PHD and she still wants to see me. To me this clearly implies that sex is on and I'm looking to create a good setup

 

[davepoobond]

Thank you sir for getting my point!

lol

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Brother, as per my earlier post, she loves sex and will be leaving town for a year to pursue her PHD and she still wants to see me. To me this clearly implies that sex is on and I'm looking to create a good setup

Creating a good setup is fine. Abusing alcohol to get there is not. (By the way, I've put people in jail for doing that.) First off, sex "clearly" isn't on. It may be a possibility, but that's different. Second, it's fine to get tipsy. I don't think anyone's suggesting otherwise. Just be prudent. I mean, wine tour followed by, "I'm tired after that tour -- wanna stay in town?" is obviously fine.

I'm sure you probably didn't mean anything by it, but your phrasing was off.

 

[PflargBlarg]

Creating a good setup is fine. Abusing alcohol to get there is not. (By the way, I've put people in jail for doing that.) First off, sex "clearly" isn't on. It may be a possibility, but that's different. Second, it's fine to get tipsy. I don't think anyone's suggesting otherwise. Just be prudent. I mean, wine tour followed by, "I'm tired after that tour -- wanna stay in town?" is obviously fine.

I'm sure you probably didn't mean anything by it, but your phrasing was off.

I'm pretty sure he's trolling the thread so I wouldn't worry about it too much. Otherwise, I think it's pretty clear what he was planning to do.

 

[Dryk]

Newly ex girlfriend is having trouble coping. Part of it is seeing that I'm coping well and are basically fine, probably making her doubt if it was ever real. Is there even anything I can do?

 

[Roberto Larcos]

Newly ex girlfriend is having trouble coping. Part of it is seeing that I'm coping well and are basically fine, probably making her doubt if it was ever real. Is there even anything I can do?

If she's having trouble, honestly, I'd just keep my distance. Give her time and as much space as possible to get over you - it's not going to be easier for her (long-term) if you're still messaging her like before, giving her some hope to cling on to.

Brother, as per my earlier post, she loves sex and will be leaving town for a year to pursue her PHD and she still wants to see me. To me this clearly implies that sex is on and I'm looking to create a good setup

You cannot impliedly consent to drunken sex. You cannot expressly consent to drunken sex. If you carry out this disgusting plan, I hope you go down for rape.

 

[Kamion]

Newly ex girlfriend is having trouble coping. Part of it is seeing that I'm coping well and are basically fine, probably making her doubt if it was ever real. Is there even anything I can do?

She's obviously important to you and you want to make her feel better, but the truth is, you can't. She needs some time to accept that it's over.

Also please don't let yourself get guilt-tripped into thinking you're "coping too well" or whatever. People react differently.

Just give her time. Breakups are hard.

 

[Mendrox]

This means either one, or all of them, like you.


Assuming you and her hooked up (I can't figure out if you are being reserved or if you are tiptoeing around the fact that you two haven't slept together) It's quite likely she is telling him she can't decide between you two. I think everytime you pull out of her games, she gets more attracted to you.
This guy was probably not very jealous in the relationship and she found out a way to get the validation from him she wasn't getting.

Haven't slept together (; but now that you mentioned that with her ex boyfriend and the jealousy part... it makes a bit sense in that context. Every time that I pulled back she contacts me a few hours later again. He didn't even wanted to shake my hand anymore back then and she also mentions him at least once when we are together and sometimes mentions that he doesn't like us being together. I always counter with "It's not his problem, right? You guys aren't together anymore and I didn't do shit before that"

 

[Dryk]

If she's having trouble, honestly, I'd just keep my distance. Give her time and as much space as possible to get over you - it's not going to be easier for her (long-term) if you're still messaging her like before, giving her some hope to cling on to.

That's what I figured. We talked a bit over Facebook and cleared up some misunderstandings that were giving her grief. I'm not sure if I should be any more proactive than avoiding striking up conversations because she still seems to have something she wants to chat about at least once a day.

 

[gaiages]

Thank you sir for getting my point!

lawl

Brother, as per my earlier post, she loves sex and will be leaving town for a year to pursue her PHD and she still wants to see me. To me this clearly implies that sex is on and I'm looking to create a good setup

Can you not create a good setup without impairing her judgment? Listen to the lawyer for Christ's sake

I'm pretty sure he's trolling the thread so I wouldn't worry about it too much. Otherwise, I think it's pretty clear what he was planning to do.

You're probably right.

 

[ZackieChan]

Newly ex girlfriend is having trouble coping. Part of it is seeing that I'm coping well and are basically fine, probably making her doubt if it was ever real. Is there even anything I can do?

Is your ex named Infinity Patriot, by any chance?

lawl



Can you not create a good setup without impairing her judgment? Listen to the lawyer for Christ's sake



You're probably right.

Right. If she wants to have sex with you, she'll do it. Plying her with alcohol is creepy as fuck and potentially a crime. Jeebus.

 

[Thorgal]

Welp i am cursed to always draw the short end of the stick it seems when it comes to meeting girls at that bar

First girl never showed up again to ask out so i moved on .

Second one was a total ice queen so i moved on .

Third one was both awesome in looks and we clicked very much only to discover she had a boyfriend since last week .

That last one really really bites since she had almost all of the qualities i was looking for in a girl .

she still has my number so in case she dumps the other guy she can always give me a call but i am not hoping for it .

So yes , i am moving on from the last one but i would be lying if i said those 3 fails in a row put a downer on me .

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

Welp i am cursed to always draw the short end of the stick it seems when it comes to meeting girls at that bar

First girl never showed up again to ask out so i moved on .

Second one was a total ice queen so i moved on .

Third one was both awesome in looks and we clicked very much only to discover she had a boyfriend since last week .

That last one really really bites since she had almost all of the qualities i was looking for in a girl .

she still has my number so in case she dumps the other guy she can always give me a call but i am not hoping for it .

So yes , i am moving on from the last one but i would be lying if i said those 3 fails in a row put a downer on me .

I'm lost, bore are they failures? I don't understand the first one, second one you choose you didn't like her, and third she had a bf. How are any of those failures? You don't have a gf but it's not like you failed.

 

[shanafan]

Welp i am cursed to always draw the short end of the stick it seems when it comes to meeting girls at that bar

First girl never showed up again to ask out so i moved on .

Second one was a total ice queen so i moved on .

Third one was both awesome in looks and we clicked very much only to discover she had a boyfriend since last week .

That last one really really bites since she had almost all of the qualities i was looking for in a girl .

she still has my number so in case she dumps the other guy she can always give me a call but i am not hoping for it .

So yes , i am moving on from the last one but i would be lying if i said those 3 fails in a row put a downer on me .

Nah, you had two dates. That's good, no reason to have any kind-of downer at all. The second date was your choice not to pursue, so that shouldn't be a downer as well.

 

[davepoobond]

Kind of weird that the girl would go out on a date while she had a boyfriend isn't it?

My guess is it was an excuse. I got the "I'm getting serious with someone" line for the first person I went out with. Saw her on pof still after that.

Probably besides the point anyway

 

[anaslexy]

Creating a good setup is fine. Abusing alcohol to get there is not. (By the way, I've put people in jail for doing that.) First off, sex "clearly" isn't on. It may be a possibility, but that's different. Second, it's fine to get tipsy. I don't think anyone's suggesting otherwise. Just be prudent. I mean, wine tour followed by, "I'm tired after that tour -- wanna stay in town?" is obviously fine.

I'm sure you probably didn't mean anything by it, but your phrasing was off.

In retrospect, the way I said it sounded creepy. My intention is to create a romantic setting which would lead to intimacy.

 

[Thorgal]

Girl 1 was a fail because i was trying to find a good moment to ask her out but never got the chance to and then after a while she never came again .

Girl 2 was not so much a fail upon reflection but me just realizing what lay behind her good looks i had been fawningover .

Girl 3 is the biggest fail however since i actually talked to her 2 weeks before she got her BF and i liked her back then , but i was so laser focused on girl 1 and 2 that i never thought to ask her out ,(A grave error on my part as i discovered to my dismay) I had an open chance at her and i choose to ignore it and blew my chance .

 

[Roberto Larcos]

Girl 1 was a fail because i was trying to find a good moment to ask her out but never got the chance to and then after a while she never came again .

Girl 2 was not so much a fail upon reflection but me just realizing what lay behind her good looks i had been fawningover .

Girl 3 is the biggest fail however since i actually talked to her 2 weeks before she got her BF and i liked her back then , but i was so laser focused on girl 1 and 2 that i never thought to ask her out ,(A grave error on my part as i discovered to my dismay) I had an open chance at her and i choose to ignore it and blew my chance .

Don't dwell on the 'what ifs' - gotta keep moving forward man. The more time you're devoting to agonising over lost causes, the less time you're spending talking to your dream girl.

 

[Thorgal]

Kind of weird that the girl would go out on a date while she had a boyfriend isn't it?

My guess is it was an excuse. I got the "I'm getting serious with someone" line for the first person I went out with. Saw her on pof still after that.

Probably besides the point anyway

oh he is real, i had a brief chat with him a few days beforehand , pretty likeable guy . if she is happy with him , i wish them both the best.

Don't dwell on the 'what ifs' - gotta keep moving forward man. The more time you're devoting to agonising over lost causes, the less time you're spending talking to your dream girl.

I know .
i am on vacation next week which might be just what i need to forget about the whole screwup.

 

[Roberto Larcos]

i am on vacation next week which might be just what i need to forget about the whole screwup.

Gonna echo what others said here too, you got 2 dates from 3 girls. You didn't screw up, just got unlucky.

 

[ZackieChan]

I don't think he went out with any of these girls. He just struck out asking them out at a bar.

It happens! Just keep moving. It's a numbers game, as they say.

 

[NIGHT-]

so I'm getting bummed out with tinder/OKC/and POF. Are any of the paying sites worth using?

 

[stn]

so I'm getting bummed out with tinder/OKC/and POF. Are any of the paying sites worth using?

Depends what you mean by "bummed out". I've had a very similar experience between OKC, POF, and Match. If you're getting messaged on those sites, you'll get messaged on the pay sites. If you're rarely getting messaged or matched, a paid site will probably make no difference at all. Funny enough I don't think the idea of giving money makes people feel more "urgent" to go out on dates.

 

[NIGHT-]

Depends what you mean by "bummed out". I've had a very similar experience between OKC, POF, and Match. If you're getting messaged on those sites, you'll get messaged on the pay sites. If you're rarely getting messaged or matched, a paid site will probably make no difference at all. Funny enough I don't think the idea of giving money makes people feel more "urgent" to go out on dates.

A lot of fake/inactive/non attractive users on these. But I live in a smaller area in Arkansas. I met my ex off POF, but I'm thinking it was crazy luck and I won't meet someone else like her for a long time lol

 

[Mordeccai]

So I posted last week about taking a girl from work out to dance. The date went great, I just did whatever for the first half hour and then after we drank a bit, it was just a few hours of grinding. One kiss on the lips when the date ended and then we both went home.

Things have been cool since, but today we are talking at work and she drops a bomba. She got married when she was 20, has three kids (she's 27). I never once saw a ring on her finger in the few weeks since we've worked together. So I ask her if she has a husband, and she says just says "no".

She didn't seem to want to be pressed so I didn't pursue that line of questioning, as really I'm just a laid back guy and have up front told her I'm just looking to have fun. I walked back to do some of my own work, said good night after an hour, and came home. Haven't texted her since, but we haven't texted all that much anyway.

I guess really my question is, being somebody who has never run into this before (kids, old marriage). Is the best response here to act cool and just let her tell me what she wants, when she wants to and leave it all be, or is that an aspect I really should engage in conversation about (especially the kids).

I mean I would date her, but am 100% cool right now for just being casual. I guess the answer to what I want out of her, would also lead to the answer of how serious a convo I should try to start about everything

 

[anaslexy]

so I'm getting bummed out with tinder/OKC/and POF. Are any of the paying sites worth using?

It's time to edit, reedit and make a hundred more edits. Search for guys and read their profiles and compare to yours. It look me almost a year to fine tune my profile and when it was ready, the replied started pouring in.

It takes time but the result is well worth it.

 

[Thorgal]

I don't think he went out with any of these girls. He just struck out asking them out at a bar.

It happens! Just keep moving. It's a numbers game, as they say.

Yeah no dates, just failed attempts at asking a girl to go out with me.

 

[Dr Duncan Steel]

What the fuck is it about me that I'm into women that are taken? I swear to fuck this has happened to me like 4 times now. Sorry just in a bit of a salty mood for obvious reasons, I normally don't lash out in things like this. But it's getting frustrating now.

I come back from a three week trip. Before that, I hit it off with a girl and get her number and we try to meet numerous times before I left but the plans fall through. A red flag in retrospect. But before I leave she tells me to hit her up when I'm back and it's all cool. Now going off second hand info, I find out she has a "bae" now and I'm probably in the running for gal pal number 7. I hit her up when I got back and maybe something's gonna happen this week but I'm just thinking about packing it up.

 

[NIGHT-]

It's time to edit, reedit and make a hundred more edits. Search for guys and read their profiles and compare to yours. It look me almost a year to fine tune my profile and when it was ready, the replied started pouring in.

It takes time but the result is well worth it.

It's just more of a problem of lack of a selection. There are very few women I'm attracted/interested in near me and I'm sure that makes the competition for them extremely high. Most women around here list their perfect date experiences as "muddling and backroading", which is not me at all.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

What the fuck is it about me that I'm into women that are taken? I swear to fuck this has happened to me like 4 times now. Sorry just in a bit of a salty mood for obvious reasons, I normally don't lash out in things like this. But it's getting frustrating now.

I come back from a three week trip. Before that, I hit it off with a girl and get her number and we try to meet numerous times before I left but the plans fall through. A red flag in retrospect. But before I leave she tells me to hit her up when I'm back and it's all cool. Now going off second hand info, I find out she has a "bae" now and I'm probably in the running for gal pal number 7. I hit her up when I got back and maybe something's gonna happen this week but I'm just thinking about packing it up.

Then pack it up? I don't understand, you seen unhappy and have had plans fall through multiple times. I don't know why they did but we're they reasonable? You need to think about your worth, is your time and energy not worth anything? I'd it worth all the energy and time you're expending right now? If not then move on.

 

[Afrocious]

Went to get some Thai food yesterday. The girl at the cash register was cute as hell (I feel she's a black girl mixed with Thai herself since I think her family runs the place.)

She was quite friendly and kinda playful to talk with. I got her name but didn't get her number. I figured I'd ask for it the next time I go there. My thing is that I don't normally talk to girls who are working since I assume lots of dudes hit them up already (at varying degrees of respect).

I'm kind of out of my element on this one, but I'd like to talk to the girl more and possibly get to know her. Any advice on how to approach this situation?

 

[Gray Matter]

Went to get some Thai food yesterday. The girl at the cash register was cute as hell (I feel she's a black girl mixed with Thai herself since I think her family runs the place.)

She was quite friendly and kinda playful to talk with. I got her name but didn't get her number. I figured I'd ask for it the next time I go there. My thing is that I don't normally talk to girls who are working since I assume lots of dudes hit them up already (at varying degrees of respect).

I'm kind of out of my element on this one, but I'd like to talk to the girl more and possibly get to know her. Any advice on how to approach this situation?

Speaking from experience, unless you are 100% sure that she is interested in the slightest way, don't do it.

 

[Jokab]

Went to get some Thai food yesterday. The girl at the cash register was cute as hell (I feel she's a black girl mixed with Thai herself since I think her family runs the place.)

She was quite friendly and kinda playful to talk with. I got her name but didn't get her number. I figured I'd ask for it the next time I go there. My thing is that I don't normally talk to girls who are working since I assume lots of dudes hit them up already (at varying degrees of respect).

I'm kind of out of my element on this one, but I'd like to talk to the girl more and possibly get to know her. Any advice on how to approach this situation?

The way most people in this thread advocate is leaving your number on a note to her and say "Text/call me if you want to get coffee/drinks/do whatever". Puts little pressure on her since she can just ignore it.

 

[Deleted member 529084]

Update, and some insight into my personal life..

Yes I'm a widower and yes I have a kid. Dating has not interfered. 7 days in a week and after her death I didn't leave the house for 3 months, dating the last few months means a whole 2 nights a week I'm out...is that bad? Plus he's almost 14 so he's over buddies house or sleeping out all the time this summer (they have a pool, we dont)
I'm not working currently, have a couple years salary banked so I'm home 24/7 with my son. I'm actually sitting at soccer practice now and then heading to beach for the day.
As for dating so soon...me and the wife met 15 years ago. She was 18 and I was 20, year later we were parents. Last 10 years was 2 best friends raising a kid, no intimacy really. After losing my best friend it was kinda time to meet that "someone"

Ok...update.

Called ex, apologized for scathing letter. Almost feel back into the trap and agreed to fix things.
2 days later, some small talk along the way. I told her about the girl I met right after we broke up. Now I'm a liar, a cheat, crazy etc..
Still invites me over...fuck like bunnies.
Next day she hates me again..

Sat night go see Deftones/Incubus.
Ex is all weepy with text. Also bashing the girl I met (she found her FB) saying she's a ratchet version of her (dont have the heart to tell her she's 5 years younger, no kids, has a Masters degree, makes twice as much yearly, and great pad in the city)
Me and my buddy leave after Deftones, cause fuck Incubus.
Head to city, meet new girl and her friend.
Hit bars, head back to her pad...sex

Spend Sunday having the ex bash me while I laugh it off. Sends me pics of her "friend" tattoo artist shirtless to make me jealous. Supposedly cuts me off again.
Messages me 4 hours later "come over at 10"
Basically she just needs someone to hold her. Went for booty..Spent the night cuddling her cause she was lonely.

Tue. she goes to NY with that dude for a concert. I hit Philly with new girl. Great dinner, great bars, ok sex.

Yesterday some shit talking from the ex. I'm cut off again till I delete/block the new girl on FB. Don't really care tho, need a break from serious stuff.
New girl is cool but I'm so luke warm on her I feel bad. Nice tho to give no fucks and focus on myself or home stuff more. Like a load of bricks off my shoulders, very casual. I don't think it will last long, maybe ride it out a month.

Have tickets for Ghost BC on the 27th...Ex cried they were sold out the other day.
Maybe hit her up in 4 or 5 weeks, see if she wants to go. Be nice to have to time off, focus on other stuff a few weeks stress free.

So much drama..

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Ok...update.

Sat night go see Deftones/Incubus.
she's 5 years younger, no kids, has a Masters degree, makes twice as much yearly, and great pad in the city)
Me and my buddy leave after Deftones, cause fuck Incubus.
Head to city, meet new girl and her friend.
Hit bars, head back to her pad...sex

Tue. I hit Philly with new girl. Great dinner, great bars, ok sex.

New girl is cool but I'm so luke warm on her I feel bad. Nice tho to give no fucks and focus on myself or home stuff more. Like a load of bricks off my shoulders, very casual. I don't think it will last long, maybe ride it out a month.

Have tickets for Ghost BC on the 27th...Be nice to have to time off, focus on other stuff a few weeks stress free.

So much drama..

I cut your ex out of this post. Doesn't your life seem better without her in it? Don't invite her to the concert. Do stuff by yourself or with friends, see the new girl (but don't lead her on if she wants more than you can give), and kick back and relax.

 

[Deleted member 529084]

I cut your ex out of this post. Doesn't your life seem better without her in it? Don't invite her to the concert. Do stuff by yourself or with friends, see the new girl (but don't lead her on if she wants more than you can give), and kick back and relax.

Yes...honestly once the initial shock wore off I felt this "freedom"
Getting up, making a big breakfast, hit the gym twice a day etc..

Only thing I miss is the sex. Best sex EVER. She always said all we do right is "Fight and Fuck"

One of those situations where I wish I could still smash yet know no one else was. Cake and eat it too type deal I guess.
Plus all the toys and outfits I bought her...some other dude will be using them! Lol

Guessing tattoo dude alreday smashed or will in the coming days/weeks.

New girl sex was mediocre as fuck. Like a spider monkey jerking around. Said no choking and jumped like a bunny when I stuck my finger in her bum.
Oh well, fun for now I guess.

 

[gaiages]

New girl sex was mediocre as fuck. Like a spider monkey jerking around. Said no choking and jumped like a bunny when I stuck my finger in her bum.
Oh well, fun for now I guess.

Not everyone is a BDSM fan, doesn't mean you can't find some middle sexual ground you can both enjoy.

 

[stn]

@SPMH

Based on you going back to your ex and even apologizing to her, I'm convinced you make decisions based only on your dick (or finger, as it were). Not healthy, man. You've already fallen back into the same trap/cycle, I think you know that. Any "drama" from here on out is all on you.

I can't even pretend to understand what its like to be a widower, but I can say that you need a relationship with some emotional maturity and stability. So many amazing women out there, why are you doing this to yourself? You don't need someone who sends you pics of men and threatens to delete you from Facebook. This is all really petty. I'll be very surprised if this is the last time you ever contact her again.

 

[ibrahima]

Abusive relationships are funny.

Wait wait I didn't quite mean it in that way, what I'm trying to say is abusive relationships don't necessarily seem that way when you're in the middle of one, it could be mutually abusive, you could be so entirely blind to what's going on and keep on telling yourself it's worth it in the end, you could be the abusive one or be the one being abused and you're so deep in denial that the very thought is dismissed in an instant.

A piece of you could still be in that abusive relationship, months or years after the last personal belonging has been exchanged and the final pleading text message went unanswered.

What if someone you know tells you that they're in an abusive relationship, that their partner drinks excessively, their partner checks their phone, checks their social media, that they're violent, physically abusive and demonstrate borderline psychopathic tendencies. What do you do?

I posted on girl gaf a few months ago when I had a bit of a dilemma, an ex in an abusive relationship had contacted me out of the blue and felt compelled to tell me about all the crazy bullshit her current boyfriend was getting up to.

Girl gaf told me to do one, rightfully so! I was seeking attention and wanted some magic answer that was going to fix everything for me and I thought someone could deliver that over the internet.

I'm here to tell you that you do nothing. You do not get involved. You find all the value the rest of the world has to offer you and do not fall into the trap of opening old wounds, trust me, old wounds will always remain and you do not need to be digging them open just because someone's handed you a knife.

This isn't in reference to anything anyone has said here, at least not to my knowledge, but I'd rather post it in the semi-anonymity gaf offers rather than FB. Comments are welcome.

 

[Salamando]

@SPMH

Based on you going back to your ex and even apologizing to her, I'm convinced you make decisions based only on your dick (or finger, as it were). Not healthy, man. You've already fallen back into the same trap/cycle, I think you know that. Any "drama" from here on out is all on you.

I can't even pretend to understand what its like to be a widower, but I can say that you need a relationship with some emotional maturity and stability. So many amazing women out there, why are you doing this to yourself? You don't need someone who sends you pics of men and threatens to delete you from Facebook. This is all really petty. I'll be very surprised if this is the last time you ever contact her again.

(begin armchair psychology) In every post of his, he doesn't sound that happy with the relationship he and his wife had. Above he refers to them as two best friends raising a kid without intimacy, and before I believe he said he's never been in love before. Now he's over-correcting. Instead of a friend, she's an antagonist. Where there was no intimacy before, now it's the foundation.

And if he and his wife had that little intimacy, there likely wasn't that much of an outlet for his kinkier desires. Finding a woman with whom he could be honest with sexually would create a fairly strong bond. (end armchair psychology).

Or he's just thinking with his little head. He should check out FetLife(nsfw) or find some local munches if he's looking for girls with a little kink in their heads.

 

[ZackieChan]

So much drama..

It's all you at this point. In fact, the last two times the drama is squarely on your head. You don't have to respond to this girl. You didn't have to tell her details about your new gf.

OK, so the new girl isn't satisfying in bed. Big deal. Find someone else. But you went back to the toxic girl who you always complain about here. It's getting ridiculous.

 

[gaiages]

EDIT: Nevermind, the picture didn't link right and I'm too lazy to fix it.

 

[n64coder]

As for dating so soon...me and the wife met 15 years ago. She was 18 and I was 20, year later we were parents. Last 10 years was 2 best friends raising a kid, no intimacy really.

Do you have thoughts on why there was no intimacy in your relationship? Was it due to illness? Or lack of interest on her or your part?

I've been with my wife for almost twenty years and we still have an active sex life. You do have to work to keep the romance alive and do fun stuff together without the kids.

I would stay away from your ex and just go out and have fun. If the new girl is not appealing than find someone else to be with.

Good luck!

 

[AcridMeat]

Yes...honestly once the initial shock wore off I felt this "freedom"
Getting up, making a big breakfast, hit the gym twice a day etc..

Only thing I miss is the sex. Best sex EVER. She always said all we do right is "Fight and Fuck"

One of those situations where I wish I could still smash yet know no one else was. Cake and eat it too type deal I guess.
Plus all the toys and outfits I bought her...some other dude will be using them! Lol

Guessing tattoo dude alreday smashed or will in the coming days/weeks.

New girl sex was mediocre as fuck. Like a spider monkey jerking around. Said no choking and jumped like a bunny when I stuck my finger in her bum.
Oh well, fun for now I guess.

Yo this is one of the most immature posts I've read from you in a while. Stop thinking with your dick for a change. Find out what new girl's kinks are and have fun pleasuring her, rather than only thinking of you

Spoiler

r dick's happiness.

I kind of understand this behavior given the history you have, not being intimate with your wife for so long, but damn this is unhealthy behavior. Sex isn't the be all end all of a relationship, though if you don't have chemistry in bed that can definitely be a deal breaker. I just don't think you're going about it, or thinking about it, in a healthy way.