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[ZombieFred]

Well I've gone on the most craziest route because I've been talking to this girl none stop for hours and through out the week past month and plan to see her in November. The catch? She lives in LA and I am from the UK haha!

Luckily the flight prices are cheap and it's only a 11 hour plane journey and she has her own place by Sherman Oaks or whatever it is (what I know). I've never been to America before so I am going to be experiencing a true slice of American pie and your crazy culture.Can't wait and man I've not felt this damn happy and excited/alive with someone in a long time. Still not changed and how it's been four weeks and we haven't even tired on talking too long most days.

I must me going mad you lot, I never expected to feel like this again and I am a little scared at how bonkers a little of the situation is and I am perfectly fine with it!

 

[Shuggananas]

Well I've gone on the most craziest route because I've been talking to this girl none stop for hours and through out the week past month and plan to see her in November. The catch? She lives in LA and I am from the UK haha!

Luckily the flight prices are cheap and it's only a 11 hour plane journey and she has her own place by Sherman Oaks or whatever it is (what I know). I've never been to America before so I am going to be experiencing a true slice of American pie and your crazy culture.Can't wait and man I've not felt this damn happy and excited/alive with someone in a long time. Still not changed and how it's been four weeks and we haven't even tired on talking too long most days.

I must me going mad you lot, I never expected to feel like this again and I am a little scared at how bonkers a little of the situation is and I am perfectly fine with it!

This probably won't end well, but good luck
Long distance sucks balls and that's pretty long distance to me.

 

[ZombieFred]

This probably won't end well, but good luck
Long distance sucks balls and that's pretty long distance to me.

Yeah but luckily I've got plenty of holiday on both sides and can see her every Three months for 1-2 weeks each time and talking has been no issue. I've done a semi long distance before in a sense but this is multiplied by Two so it's just having a patience of a saint and go with it. I am on this ride now and going to see it to the end and damn give it my best effort that's for sure. Either way I am pretty damn happy (And same for her) so the memories and experience alone is well worth the effort in my opinion.

 

[GtwoK]

Well I've gone on the most craziest route because I've been talking to this girl none stop for hours and through out the week past month and plan to see her in November. The catch? She lives in LA and I am from the UK haha!

Luckily the flight prices are cheap and it's only a 11 hour plane journey and she has her own place by Sherman Oaks or whatever it is (what I know). I've never been to America before so I am going to be experiencing a true slice of American pie and your crazy culture.Can't wait and man I've not felt this damn happy and excited/alive with someone in a long time. Still not changed and how it's been four weeks and we haven't even tired on talking too long most days.

I must me going mad you lot, I never expected to feel like this again and I am a little scared at how bonkers a little of the situation is and I am perfectly fine with it!

I envy your excitement . If I may offer a suggestion, make sure you skype or something before meeting (maybe you have already? Haven't been following your story, just this post), because real-life connections don't always work out the same way as through text. Speaking from experience.

 

[ZombieFred]

I envy your excitement . If I may offer a suggestion, make sure you skype or something before meeting (maybe you have already? Haven't been following your story, just this post), because real-life connections don't always work out the same way as through text. Speaking from experience.

We've done a lot of skyping plenty of enough hand even swapped so many photos of both our worlds and daily life in between talking (whats app is a damn good application to talking freely between two countries and video stuff as well, which I'd highly recommend) and we've seen crazily enough amounts of each other in that sense and some of our surroundings.
I am usually a damn realist (And have been an extreme at that with past dates or girls interested in me) but this is totally different in how I feel so I've gone to just go with it and I am happy enough with all this really. I know I am mad with the distance but with all other variables outside on this I can see it working in a mad way. I am just happy to express myself on it than usually being close knitted on such things privately but I am confident enough to be open on this now as it's a totally refreshing change in my life the past Two Years

 

[ZackieChan]

GTwok, I do it almost exclusively. But I have the breakup excuse of leaving the country.

ZombieFred? This is a GAF thread in the making. It sounds exciting and great now, but you don't see how being on different CONTINENTS can make a relationship difficult when you didn't even have any long period of time together?

Either it will be her emotionally cheating on you (happens a lot around here) or you getting exhausted. Sounds like bad news.

 

[Jake.]

i've been in two international LDRs and both died, as do 95% of them in general i'd say. 'normal' partnerships can often be challenging to maintain and keep healthy, so when when you add huge timezone differences (which you will have to deal with), lack of physical interaction/intimacy (again) and nuances regarding culture/language (thankfully not an issue in your situation) it becomes even more of a struggle. either way, i wish you all the best.

(my first LDR happened when my now ex was offered a 1yr work contract in the US after we had dated for almost 2yrs in australia. within 6 months of her moving, she ended it. this was probably the one relationship that i've been in which fucked me up the most. my second LDR happened when i was in japan on vacation and met someone - we both decided to give it a shot, but again, i ended within 3mths of returning home. i could probably deal with a LDR when the other person is interstate, but overseas is out of the question from now on).

edit: if you both have an 'end goal' (i.e she is going to move to the UK within a year or whatever) then it is more realistic, but still incredibly difficult.

 

[ZackieChan]

Yeah, I can't even imagine that it would be sustainable.

 

[Kopite]

It's almost two years on since I first started trying to improve myself and start dating around. Still nothing I've even swiped right like at everyone within 50 km in my area and still ended up with nothing. This shit really saps your confidence.

 

[Nastrodamous]

It's almost two years on since I first started trying to improve myself and start dating around. Still nothing I've even swiped right like at everyone within 50 km in my area and still ended up with nothing. This shit really saps your confidence.

Get off tinder and approach irl.

 

[Benzychenz]

How do you transition a convo on Tinder to meeting/hooking up?
Just yolo it and ask, seeing that if she's interested it doesn't really matter how you go about it?

I told this girl she's already an 11/10 because she likes dogs, she said I'm a 12/10, I said I'll try to meet those expectations, she said she's sure I'll have no trouble. Now what.

I suck at this and am inexperienced, if that wasn't obvious.

 

[Shuggananas]

How do you transition a convo on Tinder to meeting/hooking up?
Just yolo it and ask, seeing that if she's interested it doesn't really matter how you go about it?

I told this girl she's already an 11/10 because she likes dogs, she said I'm a 12/10, I said I'll try to meet those expectations, she said she's sure I'll have no trouble. Now what.

I suck at this and am inexperienced, if that wasn't obvious.

Ask her if she wants to grab a drink/meal ?
Or if you just want to fuck uh.. offer netflix + "cuddles" I guess

 

[Jake.]

How do you transition a convo on Tinder to meeting/hooking up?
Just yolo it and ask

yeah. coffee date is usually easy for a first meet up because it's a super casual environment and is a good chance to just talk and figure each other out. added bonus: if it goes badly you can bail early and if it goes well you can do something else afterwards and/or organise another time to hang in the near future.

if you just wanna fuck each other, then netflix and chill is the alternative option.

 

[Jokab]

How do you transition a convo on Tinder to meeting/hooking up?
Just yolo it and ask, seeing that if she's interested it doesn't really matter how you go about it?

I told this girl she's already an 11/10 because she likes dogs, she said I'm a 12/10, I said I'll try to meet those expectations, she said she's sure I'll have no trouble. Now what.

I suck at this and am inexperienced, if that wasn't obvious.

"Well we'll just have to find out if our expectations line up. How about <insert date idea>? How is <insert time and date> for you?"

 

[gaiages]

Asking for friend based out of NY.

He recently found a match on Tinder like, a week or so ago I think, they've hit it off and been chatting. I guess the message got a little explicit but I didn't see any of that. He's trying to figure out if he should set up a date with this girl or not. He just turned 21 earlier in the year, she's 17. All of which is OK under NY law according to my knowledge. I think some of it has to do with being immortal in someones opinion, he's asking for advice. He's also a virgin fwiw

Are you sure of that law? Positive? I mean, I lived in NY and thought it was 18, but then again I never bothered to look (and I won't Google it right now because I don't want that kinda search on my work computer >.>")

If you guys are sure, I don't see what the problem with asking her out is.

.

You're waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay overthinking things. Just chill and enjoy the moment. You two have only been dating a month, after all.

 

[ZackieChan]

Are you sure of that law? Positive? I mean, I lived in NY and thought it was 18, but then again I never bothered to look (and I won't Google it right now because I don't want that kinda search on my work computer >.>")

If you guys are sure, I don't see what the problem with asking her out is.



You're waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay overthinking things. Just chill and enjoy the moment. You two have only been dating a month, after all.

Not legal advice (I always have to say that because I'm a lawyer), but I Googled it and it looks like the age of consent is 17 in NY. There may be exceptions if you're older, but it didn't look like it.

BenzyChenz - Just do it, bro. "Want to go on a coffee date on Friday? I want to check out this new cafe. I hear it's a 13/10." I don't know. It doesn't have to be complicated.

 

[Pat]

So I've seen the girl I met via Tinder (see last post) two times and each time was... disturbing. Everything just feels so... natural. It's like we've been together since years.

Last time, while we were in her bed and chillin', she just looked into my eyes while kissing my hand and said "I'm afraid... I'm loosing control. I don't want to go to work or go anywhere else, I want to stay here, I feel so good right now, I can be who I am and everything is so simple... It's not supposed to be happening, it's so unexpected... It's goddamn Tinder, haha!".

I honestly been there with one of my exs ("love" on first sight) so I know that feeling and while I find it also unexpected, I know it can happens. I'm just afraid she's gonna freak the hell out and drop everything. She's very cynical about love (had a 7 years relationship that was unhealthy and been on some disappointed dates since then).

.

You're 21, enjoy the fun while it lasts. But as soon as you gets tired of it, break-up asap because it can become poison very fast.

 

[GtwoK]

You're 21, enjoy the fun while it lasts. But as soon as you gets tired of it, break-up asap because it can become poison very fast.

You see, that's what I was thinking, but then because I can SEE that it will happen eventually, I feel like I'm using her for my own personal gain in the meantime, since she doesn't have the same outlook on things.

She's not really an interesting person, or the kind that I keep finding more and more about. I feel like I already know everything about her, and that now we're just kind of living things out and hanging out. It doesn't feel like any relationship I've been in before, because I'm don't feel compelled to constantly want to be hanging out with them / learning more about them, so it feels weird to me. I want o be with someone who I can learn from and who can grow with me; not someone who I'm just coasting by with because I don't have any issues with them, y'know?

Part of me feels like maybe I'm only with her until I can find someone better / get a job &#8212; because she can occupy my time in the meantime.

I just don't want her to come out more hurt than she needs to be in the end, which I know will just keep getting worse with time.

 

[Daria]

"Asking for a friend"

lol just seeing this. he's actually the one who asked me to post on here because he couldn't make a decision

 

[Valus]

Well I've gone on the most craziest route because I've been talking to this girl none stop for hours and through out the week past month and plan to see her in November. The catch? She lives in LA and I am from the UK haha!

Luckily the flight prices are cheap and it's only a 11 hour plane journey and she has her own place by Sherman Oaks or whatever it is (what I know). I've never been to America before so I am going to be experiencing a true slice of American pie and your crazy culture.Can't wait and man I've not felt this damn happy and excited/alive with someone in a long time. Still not changed and how it's been four weeks and we haven't even tired on talking too long most days.

I must me going mad you lot, I never expected to feel like this again and I am a little scared at how bonkers a little of the situation is and I am perfectly fine with it!

Sherman Oaks sucks man.

 

[Llyranor]

She's not really an interesting person

Part of me feels like maybe I'm only with her until I can find someone better / get a job — because she can occupy my time in the meantime.

You don't respect her. End it.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

You don't respect her. End it.

*talks about girlfriend having a history of terrible boyfriends*
*talks about finding girlfriend not interesting and thinking of her as a placeholder until he finds someone better*

 

[Pat]

You see, that's what I was thinking, but then because I can SEE that it will happen eventually, I feel like I'm using her for my own personal gain in the meantime, since she doesn't have the same outlook on things.

She's not really an interesting person, or the kind that I keep finding more and more about. I feel like I already know everything about her, and that now we're just kind of living things out and hanging out. It doesn't feel like any relationship I've been in before, because I'm don't feel compelled to constantly want to be hanging out with them / learning more about them, so it feels weird to me. I want o be with someone who I can learn from and who can grow with me; not someone who I'm just coasting by with because I don't have any issues with them, y'know?

Part of me feels like maybe I'm only with her until I can find someone better / get a job — because she can occupy my time in the meantime.

I just don't want her to come out more hurt than she needs to be in the end, which I know will just keep getting worse with time.

Well, that is more precise about what you feel. You should definitely end it. She's only a friend with benefits to you.

 

[gaiages]

You see, that's what I was thinking, but then because I can SEE that it will happen eventually, I feel like I'm using her for my own personal gain in the meantime, since she doesn't have the same outlook on things.

She's not really an interesting person, or the kind that I keep finding more and more about. I feel like I already know everything about her, and that now we're just kind of living things out and hanging out. It doesn't feel like any relationship I've been in before, because I'm don't feel compelled to constantly want to be hanging out with them / learning more about them, so it feels weird to me. I want o be with someone who I can learn from and who can grow with me; not someone who I'm just coasting by with because I don't have any issues with them, y'know?

Part of me feels like maybe I'm only with her until I can find someone better / get a job — because she can occupy my time in the meantime.

I just don't want her to come out more hurt than she needs to be in the end, which I know will just keep getting worse with time.

Oh.

If you don't care about her, then just break up with her. No need to string her along, and you essentially just want her around until you find someone else.

 

[GtwoK]

You don't respect her. End it.

*talks about girlfriend having a history of terrible boyfriends*
*talks about finding girlfriend not interesting and thinking of her as a placeholder until he finds someone better*

This was absolutely my concern and exactly why I was worried about it. I didn't want to become "that" person, which was why I was asking for advice.

Also, I absolutely respect her, that is without question. She is one of the strongest (emotionally) people that I have ever met, and I respect her more than anyone for seeing what she's been through, how she's dealt with it, and how she hasn't let it topple her. That being said, she isn't doing anything with her life&#8212;she mostly is either getting high or working at a job that she hates. The other amount of time, she spends practically dependant on me, which is what I mean by "not interesting". There's no personal growth there. I want to see her do well and to get a great job and find all the success that she wants&#8212;but I'm also not here to change her. I can't change someone because I have a vision of what they could do, they have to do that themselves

I definitely care about her on a level, I just don't think it's the level that I should be caring about her. Maybe I'm just freaked out because she acts towards me as if we've been dating for years whereas I only feel at the 1 month level of attachment that, y'know, we're actually at.

I don't know. Maybe it's all in my head. I'm just worried that if it's NOT all in my head and I don't realize it until later, the amount she feels hurt will be significantly amplified from what it is now, which I would never want her to go through.

 

[Unai]

Also, I absolutely respect her, that is without question.

You might think you do, but you don't. If you did this wouldn't happen:

The thing is, I can't see myself like, introducing her to co-workers or many friends, or anything like that, and I'm not sure why.

I do believe you have good intentions otherwise you wouldn't be asking this question, though.

 

[GtwoK]

You might think you do, but you don't. If you did this wouldn't happen:

I do believe you have good intentions otherwise you wouldn't be asking this question, though.

You've got me there. Though the not introducing thing wasn't a "I don't want her to meet them" thing, it was a "because of her immaturity / age / depressing outlook on everything that happens, I'm worried that my friends wouldn't like her or respect me for dating her" thing. She's already told me that she overheard some of my friends calling her "barely legal", which has made me kind of paranoid. That's all.

 

[Astral]

So I'm back in school, I'm in a classroom of around 30 students, like 26 of them are girls, and I'm not attracted to any of them. The fuck. I was so excited too.

 

[Matush]

So I'm back in school, I'm in a classroom of around 30 students, like 26 of them are girls, and I'm not attracted to any of them. The fuck. I was so excited too.

Lower your expectations, or look somewhere else. Also

Spoiler

never date classmate. (speaking from my experience)

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

You've got me there. Though the not introducing thing wasn't a "I don't want her to meet them" thing, it was a "because of her immaturity / age / depressing outlook on everything that happens, I'm worried that my friends wouldn't like her or respect me for dating her" thing. She's already told me that she overheard some of my friends calling her "barely legal", which has made me kind of paranoid. That's all.

You're 21, she's, what, 18? As someone who used to be 21, you're not exactly a paragon of maturity at that age.

People "grow up" at different times. So she's a bit direction-less right now. So what? She hasn't gone to college yet, gotten a job, traveled the world, moved to a new city, bought a house, etc. Her (and your) best years are just ahead and sure you may not see a future together, but why not enjoy the time you have right now?

Thinking of her as someone to learn from and grow with is really premature for a 1-month-old relationship.

 

[GtwoK]

You're 21, she's, what, 18? As someone who used to be 21, you're not exactly a paragon of maturity at that age.

People "grow up" at different times. So she's a bit direction-less right now. So what? She hasn't gone to college yet, gotten a job, traveled the world, moved to a new city, bought a house, etc. Her (and your) best years are just ahead and sure you may not see a future together, but why not enjoy the time you have right now?

Thinking of her as someone to learn from and grow with is really premature for a 1-month-old relationship.

This is very sound and well thought out advice. You seem to grasp the situation well, so you're probably right. I guess it's not really something to stress over at the moment, just enjoy the ride unless something changes.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

Lower your expectations, or look somewhere else. Also

Spoiler

never date classmate. (speaking from my experience)

Never date classmates? What?

 

[Astral]

Never date classmates? What?

Well I guess it could be like dating a coworker in terms of awkwardness of things don't go well. But shit, might as well not date members of the same club, gym members, neighbors, etc.

 

[hydragonwarrior]

"Asking for a friend"

Speaking of which, I must do the same!

I have piss poor experience with this, since it hasn't happened to me before, but my friend is currently in another country (China) and met a girl there while on a business trip. He has to leave in the next few days but she's now crying about him leaving. She even has insomnia about him.

He wants to know how to send her off and make this last day together the best. In other words "How do I give her the best weekend? How do I leave her behind in the right way?"

And of course, how to comfort her to stop crying.

Thanks all!

 

[True Savior]

Well I guess it could be like dating a coworker in terms of awkwardness of things don't go well. But shit, might as well not date members of the same club, gym members, neighbors, etc.

Why would the first thing about dating a person is the consequences of "if it doest go well"

Date people you like. Coworkers. Classmates.Nuns.Priests.

People seem to think more about the breaking up than the relationship

Speaking of which, I must do the same!

I have piss poor experience with this, since it hasn't happened to me before, but my friend is currently in another country (China) and met a girl there while on a business trip. He has to leave in the next few days but she's now crying about him leaving. She even has insomnia about him.

He wants to know how to send her off and make this last day together the best. In other words "How do I give her the best weekend? How do I leave her behind in the right way?"

And of course, how to comfort her to stop crying.

Thanks all!

The good old farewell sex.

It's almost two years on since I first started trying to improve myself and start dating around. Still nothing I've even swiped right like at everyone within 50 km in my area and still ended up with nothing. This shit really saps your confidence.

Get better photos. You actually just need one good photo.

~

How do you transition a convo on Tinder to meeting/hooking up?
Just yolo it and ask, seeing that if she's interested it doesn't really matter how you go about it?

I told this girl she's already an 11/10 because she likes dogs, she said I'm a 12/10, I said I'll try to meet those expectations, she said she's sure I'll have no trouble. Now what.

I suck at this and am inexperienced, if that wasn't obvious.

Yes. You just ask. Don't overthink small stuff like this. Talk with her. When the conversation is somewhat engaging...ask her out. That's it.

 

[Daria]

I woke up with this sense that something wasn't right. I check my texts and see my girlfriend told me she slept through her alarm for work again. normally i wouldn't be bothered by this (generally speaking) but this is the second time she's done this and she's only been there, like, 3 weeks. Granted it's just a PT job but still, that's besides the point. I just don't understand how people can't make sure their priorities are in order before something fucks up like this. Drinking the night before a 8AM class this week and sleeping through the alarm, she's had a rough week.

I feel bad and want to help her but at the same time I feel like I'm dealing with a child sometimes.

 

[gaiages]

I woke up with this sense that something wasn't right. I check my texts and see my girlfriend told me she slept through her alarm for work again. normally i wouldn't be bothered by this (generally speaking) but this is the second time she's done this and she's only been there, like, 3 weeks. Granted it's just a PT job but still, that's besides the point. I just don't understand how people can't make sure their priorities are in order before something fucks up like this. Drinking the night before a 8AM class this week and sleeping through the alarm, she's had a rough week.

I feel bad and want to help her but at the same time I feel like I'm dealing with a child sometimes.

She's young, right? People make mistakes, it's really not that big of a deal unless she's drinking heavily every night, and that's just not healthy. Is this her first time away from home and in college? It's gonna take her time to readjust from a rigid high school life to one along with no one forcing you to do your obligations. It's all part of growing up.

How old are you, if I may ask?

 

[Daria]

She's young, right? People make mistakes, it's really not that big of a deal unless she's drinking heavily every night, and that's just not healthy. Is this her first time away from home and in college? It's gonna take her time to readjust from a rigid high school life to one along with no one forcing you to do your obligations. It's all part of growing up.

How old are you, if I may ask?

She moved back home in the Summer and is staying home while going to school. I know it's rough getting back into the routine of things but it's just hard observing it without actually being able to do anything. I'm not mad at her or anything, it's just a silly situation that could've been avoided.

She's 19, I'm 23

 

[gaiages]

She moved back home in the Summer and is staying home while going to school. I know it's rough getting back into the routine of things but it's just hard observing it without actually being able to do anything. I'm not mad at her or anything, it's just a silly situation that could've been avoided.

She's 19, I'm 23

Okay.

So think of it this way... how did you act when you were 18-19? Did you sometimes party too hard and oversleep? Maybe miss a class once and a while for a silly reason (drunk, hungover, forgot it existed, friend called you and you got wrapped up in conversation, LoL match ran for too long, whatever)? It happens, no matter how silly it is. Hell, I was horridly late twice for my FT, career starting job in seven (work) days, as in 2+ hours late, one of which simply because I didn't set my alarm. Everyone has tough weeks.

And if you do say "No, that's never happened through my college career", not only would I not believe you, but (should you actually be truthful) you are in the very, very, very small minority in this case.

Just remember that 19 =/= fully grown and functioning adult (in the typical sense of the word). Hell, some would argue 23 isn't either (I feel it depends on circumstances at that age). I wouldn't recommend thinking so harshly of her... I mean, you say you aren't mad (and I believe you) but saying that you "feel like you're dealing with a child" because she slept in twice and went partying isn't particularly a nice train of thought.

 

[Jokab]

Girl I'm dating for over a month barely responding to me at all. Neither my texts nor my snapchats. I texted her two days ago that I felt like I was being ignored and don't understand why. Then yesterday I reminded her that I asked a question, she replied back "you're not being ignored :/" and she said she isn't good at replying to people (bullshit, she replies to people frequently when we're together, and she's online on fb chat constantly throughout the day). I said I would appreciate it if I got some kind of response to things I text her (it's just random stuff throughout the day mostly, to keep in touch because we can't see eachother atm, she works too much), which was yesterday evening and she hasn't replied to that.

I realize it could be that time of the month, which she apparently gets a super duper bad version of, but it sucks that there is zero effort from her to solve this problem or even understand where I'm coming from. This by the way went from constant texts/snapchats to pretty much nothing since three days ago or so. I have no idea what to do since I've told her of what I think is a problem for me, but nothing happens. Also the fact that I have to remind her to answer when I ask her things :/

 

[Llyranor]

Girl I'm dating for over a month barely responding to me at all. Neither my texts nor my snapchats. I texted her two days ago that I felt like I was being ignored and don't understand why. Then yesterday I reminded her that I asked a question, she replied back "you're not being ignored :/" and she said she isn't good at replying to people (bullshit, she replies to people frequently when we're together, and she's online on fb chat constantly throughout the day). I said I would appreciate it if I got some kind of response to things I text her (it's just random stuff throughout the day mostly, to keep in touch because we can't see eachother atm, she works too much), which was yesterday evening and she hasn't replied to that.

I realize it could be that time of the month, which she apparently gets a super duper bad version of, but it sucks that there is zero effort from her to solve this problem or even understand where I'm coming from. This by the way went from constant texts/snapchats to pretty much nothing since three days ago or so. I have no idea what to do since I've told her of what I think is a problem for me, but nothing happens. Also the fact that I have to remind her to answer when I ask her things :/

Random opposing thoughts come to mind

1) Are you sure you're not being too needy? (I'm not saying you are, just asking because of your 'demands')
2) Do your 'random stuff' merit a reply?
3) It's weird for someone you've been seeing over a month to take over a day to respond to you unless they were genuinely busy (and even then, a text before bedtime takes a minute). The impression that can give is as though she doesn't even think of you at all that day (first hand experience, wooo!), or that the relationship isn't that important. Being 'bad' at texting is a really poor excuse. Writing short and succinct messages and not having a lot of back-and-forth banter, ok fine. Outright ignoring? Red flag

This by the way went from constant texts/snapchats to pretty much nothing since three days ago or so.

I got dumped last time this happened to me

 

[Jokab]

1) Are you sure you're not being too needy? (I'm not saying you are, just asking because of your 'demands')

I suppose it's possible. But she has taken initiative pretty much every time we've seen eachother, so soon after the one before that I don't even have time to suggest anything myself. So if anything, she has been super needy, which she suddenly isn't.

2) Do your 'random stuff' merit a reply?

Nah, not really. But considering this is a big change from before, where she did reply to everything, even things not "needing reply", I'm concerned.

3) It's weird for someone you've been seeing over a month to take over a day to respond to you unless they were genuinely busy (and even then, a text before bedtime takes a minute). The impression that can give is as though she doesn't even think of you at all that day (first hand experience, wooo!), or that the relationship isn't that important. Being 'bad' at texting is a really poor excuse. Writing short and succinct messages and not having a lot of back-and-forth banter, ok fine. Outright ignoring? Red flag

I mean it doesn't take long to give me a short "I'm really busy today, I'll text/call you tonight" or something like that. It's definitely what I would do if I was in her shoes.

As I've written earlier in the thread, she's leaving in about a month to work abroad for five months. We've in essence agreed on ending what we have when she leaves, and picking it up when she comes back if we both feel for it. I have toyed with the idea that she's pushing me away to remove some attachment before she leaves. We've both been very affectionate this past month-month½ so I can't figure out where this is coming from else.

 

[MisterRoboto]

Girl I'm dating for over a month barely responding to me at all. Neither my texts nor my snapchats. I texted her two days ago that I felt like I was being ignored and don't understand why. Then yesterday I reminded her that I asked a question, she replied back "you're not being ignored :/" and she said she isn't good at replying to people (bullshit, she replies to people frequently when we're together, and she's online on fb chat constantly throughout the day). I said I would appreciate it if I got some kind of response to things I text her (it's just random stuff throughout the day mostly, to keep in touch because we can't see eachother atm, she works too much), which was yesterday evening and she hasn't replied to that.

I realize it could be that time of the month, which she apparently gets a super duper bad version of, but it sucks that there is zero effort from her to solve this problem or even understand where I'm coming from. This by the way went from constant texts/snapchats to pretty much nothing since three days ago or so. I have no idea what to do since I've told her of what I think is a problem for me, but nothing happens. Also the fact that I have to remind her to answer when I ask her things :/

I'm assuming you told her your issues with what's happening through text? When was the last time you saw her? I would just ask in person and try to see what's going on. If something is wrong, be there for her. It may not even have anything to do with you. If it has to do with you, find out how to work it out.

 

[Jokab]

I'm assuming you told her your issues with what's happening through text? When was the last time you saw her? I would just ask in person and try to see what's going on. If something is wrong, be there for her. It may not even have anything to do with you. If it has to do with you, find out how to work it out.

Yes it was through text. Last saw her this Tuesday. The day before that she was also super busy and didn't respond, but then she called me in the night and apologized, and said we could see eachother the day after. So naturally I didn't bring it up because she was just busy. This seems like something else. I'll bring it up when I see her next, whenever that will be.

 

[Astral]

Are people ever truly too busy to text? Don't they eventually have time to look at their phone, be it to check the time or email or anything? The notification is still there right, so would it really be a hassle to answer a text? In my experience, people don't answer a text because they simply don't feel like it.

 

[Gray Matter]

Are people ever truly too busy to text? Don't they eventually have time to look at their phone, be it to check the time or email or anything? The notification is still there right, so would it really be a hassle to answer a text? In my experience, people don't answer a text because they simply don't feel like it.

I agree.

It's what happened to me (currently). I text this girl, and takes her forever to reply, everyone looks at their phone at some point during the day, she just didn't want to reply I guess, so I just stopped texting all together.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

Are people ever truly too busy to text? Don't they eventually have time to look at their phone, be it to check the time or email or anything? The notification is still there right, so would it really be a hassle to answer a text? In my experience, people don't answer a text because they simply don't feel like it.

Yes? I mean it's usually used to say you're not interested but most times at work I don't have time to text back but I'll swipe away so I can see new ones as they come in and I sometimes forget to reply back later since it's not there anymore as new. I mean, it's just not impossible even though it can be improbable. At the end of the day though, it doesn't matter so I'm not sure why people fixate on it so much. Even if they are too busy, why would you want someone who never had time for you, regardless of the reason? I mean even if it literally is work, do you think they'll have more time in the future of quit that job?

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

Well I guess it could be like dating a coworker in terms of awkwardness of things don't go well. But shit, might as well not date members of the same club, gym members, neighbors, etc.

It's not even close to the same. You rarely are always with the same 20 kids in classes and is a huge part of college life. Do you really think no one dates in college? That's a terrible reason to hold yourself back, it's not your career or can be cured or actually have to work with people. Couldn't be more different.

I woke up with this sense that something wasn't right. I check my texts and see my girlfriend told me she slept through her alarm for work again. normally i wouldn't be bothered by this (generally speaking) but this is the second time she's done this and she's only been there, like, 3 weeks. Granted it's just a PT job but still, that's besides the point. I just don't understand how people can't make sure their priorities are in order before something fucks up like this. Drinking the night before a 8AM class this week and sleeping through the alarm, she's had a rough week.

I feel bad and want to help her but at the same time I feel like I'm dealing with a child sometimes.

Dude, seriously? Why are you with her? You seen to continually nitpick and just say how irresponsible and immature she is, so why are you dating her then? It's two times. Twice. If that's what you get worked up about is that she was late twice to a shitty, meaningless part time job then... It seems like you keep reading way too much and blame her age. Which you are absolutely within your right to do but if she's that won't fit you then I'm confused why you're dating. You can't change people.

 

[Astral]

It's not even close to the same. You rarely are always with the same 20 kids in classes and is a huge part of college life. Do you really think no one dates in college? That's a terrible reason to hold yourself back, it's not your career or can be cured or actually have to work with people. Couldn't be more different.

I know. I was disagreeing with him.

 

[Do Better]

I'm terrible at this. I'm lucky that I apparently look decent enough to get a lot of chances because I'm going to need them.