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[peanutbutterlatte]

Tinder will however show the amount of "friends in common" you have on Facebook, and there's always the chance someone on your Facebook has Tinder too. But you have as much chance encountering them as someone not on your Facebook...

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Don't even bother with Tinder. It's so full of bots and catfishers it's a waste of time.

 

[Zeyphersan]

Don't even bother with Tinder. It's so full of bots and catfishers it's a waste of time.

False. Tinder is amazing and a ton of fun

 

[bluethree]

tinder is worthless where i am (southern japan)

 

[cabot]

I'm tuning in to express my happiness at Matty finally popping the question.

It feels good to be alive, friends.

 

[Astral]

Don't even bother with Tinder. It's so full of bots and catfishers it's a waste of time.

This is my experience as well.

 

[Entropia]

My experience with Tinder has sucked so far. I had about 4-5 matches the first few weeks. I sent them all messages... only 1 got back to me, but they were sending me very boring responses that didn't generate any sort of conversation.

 

[Miroku129]

Tomorrow im gonna meet a girl from Tinder, so its working for me at least.

 

[True Savior]

Don't even bother with Tinder. It's so full of bots and catfishers it's a waste of time.

This is my experience as well.

My experience with Tinder has sucked so far. I had about 4-5 matches the first few weeks. I sent them all messages... only 1 got back to me, but they were sending me very boring responses that didn't generate any sort of conversation.

Bad photos. Change them

Tinder is awesome.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

User Super Like every 12 hours to put your profile at the top of their queue. It's the best way to get matches.

Bots and catfishes are lame but they go away after awhile.

 

[MattyG]

Well I'm glad you guys were right; class went fine, no awkward vibes. It ran pretty short and we were in seperate groups, so I didn't get a chance to talk to her, but afterwards she texted me. Apparently she thinks our professor thinks her and her (female) friend are dating because of how close they are, so she texted me afterwards and said that they finally made it clear that they aren't. Which kind of sucks because half the fun of that class was watching the professor interact with them and trying to pick out all the indications that she thought that.

But that's not really relevant. I actually wanted to post in here and thank you guys. I know I've been a PAIN. IN. THE. ASS. for the last 3 weeks, but you all helped me a lot. I feel a lot better about myself now that I don't have this thing hanging over my head, and it's nice to know that she knows how I feel and (at the very least) isn't running away screaming. I'm really glad you all pushed me to do it and were so nice about it, even though I kind of shitted up the thread and drove you all nuts in the process. So thanks, it means a lot.

Also, every time someone in here cracks a joke about the "Matty saga", I can't stop laughing.

 

[peanutbutterlatte]

You didn't shit up the thread, I feel like situations like yours are the entire point of the thread

The girl I went on a date with and have been trying to get another with just isn't really interested I don't think. If she is, she needs to learn to play it better. I'm going back on OKCupid because I can't see a feasible way I'd meet anybody through my friendship circles to be honest. Sigh.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Bad photos. Change them

Tinder is awesome.

smh

It's full of more bots than OKC and POF combined.

 

[ZackieChan]

smh

It's full of more bots than OKC and POF combined.

That really depends on where you live.

 

[PflargBlarg]

Well I'm glad you guys were right; class went fine, no awkward vibes. It ran pretty short and we were in seperate groups, so I didn't get a chance to talk to her, but afterwards she texted me. Apparently she thinks our professor thinks her and her (female) friend are dating because of how close they are, so she texted me afterwards and said that they finally made it clear that they aren't. Which kind of sucks because half the fun of that class was watching the professor interact with them and trying to pick out all the indications that she thought that.

But that's not really relevant. I actually wanted to post in here and thank you guys. I know I've been a PAIN. IN. THE. ASS. for the last 3 weeks, but you all helped me a lot. I feel a lot better about myself now that I don't have this thing hanging over my head, and it's nice to know that she knows how I feel and (at the very least) isn't running away screaming. I'm really glad you all pushed me to do it and were so nice about it, even though I kind of shitted up the thread and drove you all nuts in the process. So thanks, it means a lot.

Also, every time someone in here cracks a joke about the "Matty saga", I can't stop laughing.

Also checking in to say that you've done good work here.

Cheers!

 

[Daria]

so uh, the long distance girlfriend broke it off yesterday. mentally it wasn't good for either of us and I'm not sure if the compatibility was the best but I never want to admit these things I don't think. my insecurities and personal issues will continue to be a problem in relationship until I fix them. I'm not sure what to do now with my personal life. I just tried to focus on school today which I did ok with later on when I went to work, got some homework done. I'm home now and I'm just kind of staying secluded in my bedroom, not sure whether to sleep or stay awake. I know I can't text her, it'd be make things worse. I hope to stay talking one day but everybody says that's a stupid idea. the funny thing is that I still am wanting to transfer to the uni 10 minutes from her house because of just the school itself. I can't let this situation affect me to put my future in danger. I wonder if we'll ever see again because I made one friend from hers and I try to talk to him because we seem to be similar. his gf/ex is my ex's best friend. funny, I know. I just hate losing people. I wish the best for everyone, I hope she can do well and mentally get well because I know she needs it and I wasn't doing anything good. hopefully we both can be better and later on talk again if I run into her out.

 

[KevinCow]

I have a question that I wasn't really sure who to ask.

I am ugly. Even if I wasn't ugly, I have a terrible personality. Even if it wasn't for that, I have mental illness issues. And even if it wasn't for that, I'm 27 and have no experience dating, and nobody in their mid to late 20s wants to be somebody's first girlfriend.

I have absolutely nothing going for me. Nobody will ever want to be with me. And even if, by some miraculous stroke of luck, I found somebody who could actually stand me, I have no doubt that she'd leave me once she got to know me better, and/or the second she met somebody better (which would be pretty much anyone).

So how do I live with the pain of knowing that I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life?

 

[ZackieChan]

Contacting her won't make things better. I understand your feelings; I've done it myself. But it really just makes things hurt more.

Standard advice applies - work on you, go to the gym, etc.

 

[Daria]

Contacting her won't make things better. I understand your feelings; I've done it myself. But it really just makes things hurt more.

Standard advice applies - work on you, go to the gym, etc.

first step was trying to get counseling but the guy from school never emailed me back and too long of a wait before class. I should try again tomorrow somewhere, it'll help with working on myself. it's gotten to the point where I need to stop just saying something about I

 

[ZackieChan]

first step was trying to get counseling but the guy from school never emailed me back and too long of a wait before class. I should try again tomorrow somewhere, it'll help with working on myself. it's gotten to the point where I need to stop just saying something about I

Did you fall asleep while posting that?

Yeah, definitely go to counseling if you're feeling shitty over this. You don't want your schooling to suffer!

 

[BladeoftheImmortal]

Tinder sucks, now. Can only swipe so much inna day unless you pay for it.bleh

 

[BladeoftheImmortal]

I have a question that I wasn't really sure who to ask.

I am ugly. Even if I wasn't ugly, I have a terrible personality. Even if it wasn't for that, I have mental illness issues. And even if it wasn't for that, I'm 27 and have no experience dating, and nobody in their mid to late 20s wants to be somebody's first girlfriend.

I have absolutely nothing going for me. Nobody will ever want to be with me. And even if, by some miraculous stroke of luck, I found somebody who could actually stand me, I have no doubt that she'd leave me once she got to know me better, and/or the second she met somebody better (which would be pretty much anyone).

So how do I live with the pain of knowing that I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life?

you are wallowing in self pity too much. I was just like you at 23. Thought no one would want me. Here I am 5 years later and I've had so many relationships, I kind of lost track. Just have to get up and try, buddy. But it isn't easy. I still get depressed sometimes and think nobody wants me, when though ihave a great GF right now.

 

[1upsuper]

Had to stop lurking and post after MattyG finally did it. Good job finally working up the nerve. Definitely my favorite Dating-GAF arc that I've followed so far.

As for me, I still have a hard time asking people out point blank.

 

[ZackieChan]

Tinder sucks, now. Can only swipe so much inna day unless you pay for it.bleh

Just 'cause none of those swipes wants to match with you, bro. Don't knock my hustle. Works pretty well for me!

 

[Roberto Larcos]

False. Tinder is amazing and a ton of fun

Tomorrow im gonna meet a girl from Tinder, so its working for me at least.

Just 'cause none of those swipes wants to match with you, bro. Don't knock my hustle. Works pretty well for me!

Another one for the pro-Tinder crowd. Been using it in Spain, never once encountered a bot. Of girls I get dates with, most are probably through Tinder (got one first date today, another on Sunday).

I pay £3 for Tinder Plus, but for me, it's worth it. If only for the utility of getting 5 'Super Swipes' in a 12 hour period instead of 1. People are just so much more likely to swipe back when you super swipe them. Easily worth the investment in my mind.

 

[Sami+]

Tinder sucks, now. Can only swipe so much inna day unless you pay for it.bleh

I was annoyed by this when I heard about it but honestly I have to wonder how you even reach the limit at all. Maybe I'm too picky? I'm never even close.

 

[BladeoftheImmortal]

It's called swiping right for all of them. You let them choose you.

 

[ZackieChan]

Another one for the pro-Tinder crowd. Been using it in Spain, never once encountered a bot. Of girls I get dates with, most are probably through Tinder (got one first date today, another on Sunday).

I pay £3 for Tinder Plus, but for me, it's worth it. If only for the utility of getting 5 'Super Swipes' in a 12 hour period instead of 1. People are just so much more likely to swipe back when you super swipe them. Easily worth the investment in my mind.

It's that cheap? Is this different than the ridiculously-expensive subscription?

It's called swiping right for all of them. You let them choose you.

The stink of desperation

 

[Roberto Larcos]

It's that cheap? Is this different than the ridiculously-expensive subscription

It's not a set cost, varies based on location, age, and a lot of hidden things. So it's that price for me, but I know it can be ridiculous for other people.

 

[BladeoftheImmortal]

It's that cheap? Is this different than the ridiculously-expensive subscription?



The stink of desperation

I Call it casting the net wide.

 

[Log4Girlz]

I have a question that I wasn't really sure who to ask.

I am ugly. Even if I wasn't ugly, I have a terrible personality. Even if it wasn't for that, I have mental illness issues. And even if it wasn't for that, I'm 27 and have no experience dating, and nobody in their mid to late 20s wants to be somebody's first girlfriend.

I have absolutely nothing going for me. Nobody will ever want to be with me. And even if, by some miraculous stroke of luck, I found somebody who could actually stand me, I have no doubt that she'd leave me once she got to know me better, and/or the second she met somebody better (which would be pretty much anyone).

So how do I live with the pain of knowing that I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life?

Do what I do. Surf the web.

 

[Noclue]

removed

 

[bluethree]

Nah that doesnt sound too crazy. Keep your expectations in check but go have fun. One of my friends was in a similar situation (not online dating, but introduced to a girl by a friend even though they live a couple hours away by plane) and now he's married with a kid.

I myself am thinking of meeting a girl from a dating site 2 hours away by train (though i wanna visit that part of Japan again anyway and meeting her would just be 1 part of the trip)

 

[gaiages]

I have a question that I wasn't really sure who to ask.

I am ugly. Even if I wasn't ugly, I have a terrible personality. Even if it wasn't for that, I have mental illness issues. And even if it wasn't for that, I'm 27 and have no experience dating, and nobody in their mid to late 20s wants to be somebody's first girlfriend.

I have absolutely nothing going for me. Nobody will ever want to be with me. And even if, by some miraculous stroke of luck, I found somebody who could actually stand me, I have no doubt that she'd leave me once she got to know me better, and/or the second she met somebody better (which would be pretty much anyone).

So how do I live with the pain of knowing that I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life?

This doesn't sound like a dating issue. This seems more like a mental health issue, you sound as if you're going through some major depression. Try and get help. This thread is quite good in terms of resources, and people to talk with.

Sorry I can't help more--I find that my bluntness is ill-equipped for situations like this.

 

[n64coder]

This doesn't sound like a dating issue. This seems more like a mental health issue, you sound as if you're going through some major depression. Try and get help. This thread is quite good in terms of resources, and people to talk with.

I agree. You have to raise your self-esteem. We all have different qualities that make us attractive to other people. It could be your looks, your confidence, your humor, your smarts, etc. Having confidence and changing the way you dress or how your hair looks can make a big difference in the way you appear to others and make yourself more appealing to others.

But seriously, you should get some help because nobody should be down on themselves.

 

[crimzonflame]

Is there a way to bypass Tinder's registration if you dont have facebook?

I have a question that I wasn't really sure who to ask.

I am ugly. Even if I wasn't ugly, I have a terrible personality. Even if it wasn't for that, I have mental illness issues. And even if it wasn't for that, I'm 27 and have no experience dating, and nobody in their mid to late 20s wants to be somebody's first girlfriend.

I have absolutely nothing going for me. Nobody will ever want to be with me. And even if, by some miraculous stroke of luck, I found somebody who could actually stand me, I have no doubt that she'd leave me once she got to know me better, and/or the second she met somebody better (which would be pretty much anyone).

So how do I live with the pain of knowing that I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life?

Dude, learn to love yourself. You are a good person. IF you have faults you either accept them or work on them but dont sit there and feel sorry for yourself.

 

[MattyG]

Edit: this was a dumb and kind of weird question, nevermind. Carry on folks.

 

[Roberto Larcos]

So there's a Halloween dance at school. I'd been talking about going if this girl went for a while, and she texted me yesterday to tell me that she's probably going (with some friends) and to see if I wanted to come. She said that they might not be there for long depending on how it is, and she said she might be a little drunk and "may not be the most fun to be around" so she wasn't sure if I'd still want to come.

I think I'm going to go, but what's the protocol on how to handle drunk girls if I'm not drinking? I'm not thinking anything will happen (really, we'd be going with a group of her friends, it's not like I'd be her date) but I don't know what type of drunk she is, so if she does try anything do I just say no?

Never with drunk girls. Ethically? Extremely murky. Legally? Not worth the risk.

 

[Unai]

Is there a way to bypass Tinder's registration if you dont have facebook?

Create a account on facebook. Don't add your friends. Set the photos as private. Don't use the email your friends know.

 

[MattyG]

Never with drunk girls. Legally, not worth the risk.

Oh, I should've clarified, I'm not talking about if she tries to intiate sex or anything like that (I'm assuming that's what you mean). I guarantee that won't happen, and then I know you definitely say no. I'm talking like if she drunkenly tried to kiss me or something. I just don't know how to handle that, if you just go with it or if you say no and risk an upset drunk girl. Again, probably not going to happen, but you never know how people can get when they're drunk. I've been surprised before.

 

[crimzonflame]

Create a account on facebook. Don't add your friends. Set the photos as private. Don't use the email your friends know.

Dont you need 10 friends or something?

 

[Pasta_Soup]

Oh, I should've clarified, I'm not talking about if she tries to intiate sex or anything like that (I'm assuming that's what you mean). I guarantee that won't happen, and then I know you definitely say no. I'm talking like if she drunkenly tried to kiss me or something. I just don't know how to handle that, if you just go with it or if you say no and risk an upset drunk girl. Again, probably not going to happen, but you never know how people can get when they're drunk. I've been surprised before.

Every time you begin to overthink any aspect of interacting with a woman, such as this "drunk friend at dance" situation - just take a deep breath and stop thinking. I know people have already called you out for overthinking every single little detail of every situation with every woman you interact with, but dude, it's ridiculous. If she tries to kiss you, and you are interested, then just go with it. If you're not interested, then don't. If she gets upset... it doesn't matter in the slightest. You're acting as if harmlessly "upsetting" an intoxicated friend is a threat to your well being.

I suggest you let go of this silly fear of rubbing people the wrong way or causing any sort of minor distress in your friendships/relationships. You can't please everyone. You can't mediate everyone's happiness or awkwardness. And you shouldn't sacrifice your own needs or desires just for the sake of making sure everyone feels comfortable all the time. It's exhausting and you'll never get anywhere. Rather than viewing this dance as just an opportunity to have fun and meet new people, you're stressing about a hypothetical interaction with a friend.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

Oh, I should've clarified, I'm not talking about if she tries to intiate sex or anything like that (I'm assuming that's what you mean). I guarantee that won't happen, and then I know you definitely say no. I'm talking like if she drunkenly tried to kiss me or something. I just don't know how to handle that, if you just go with it or if you say no and risk an upset drunk girl. Again, probably not going to happen, but you never know how people can get when they're drunk. I've been surprised before.

...

Have you even asked her out yet?

You're making up ridiculous situations for no reason, just let it go. And :lol about being worried that you upset a drunk girl. Why the hell would you even care?

You should start thinking about what's important to you and how you want to carry yourself in life and stop worrying if some insignificant action that no one will even remember makes someone unhappy for 5 seconds.

 

[gaiages]

Is there a way to bypass Tinder's registration if you dont have facebook?

No, just make a fake account or whatever. Don't think you need 10 friends.

I think I'm going to go, but what's the protocol on how to handle drunk girls if I'm not drinking? I'm not thinking anything will happen (really, we'd be going with a group of her friends, it's not like I'd be her date) but I don't know what type of drunk she is, so if she does try anything do I just say no?

Oh, I should've clarified, I'm not talking about if she tries to intiate sex or anything like that (I'm assuming that's what you mean). I guarantee that won't happen, and then I know you definitely say no. I'm talking like if she drunkenly tried to kiss me or something. I just don't know how to handle that, if you just go with it or if you say no and risk an upset drunk girl. Again, probably not going to happen, but you never know how people can get when they're drunk. I've been surprised before.

If she makes any sort of advances on you, don't take them. Not worth any of the risks associated with it.

Honestly, just use common sense Matty.

 

[MattyG]

Every time you begin to overthink any aspect of interacting with a woman, such as this "drunk friend at dance" situation - just take a deep breath and stop thinking. I know people have already called you out for overthinking every single little detail of every situation with every woman you interact with, but dude, it's ridiculous. If she tries to kiss you, and you are interested, then just go with it. If you're not interested, then don't. If she gets upset... it doesn't matter in the slightest. You're acting as if harmlessly "upsetting" an intoxicated friend is a threat to your well being.

I suggest you let go of this silly fear of rubbing people the wrong way or causing any sort of minor distress in your friendships/relationships. You can't please everyone. You can't mediate everyone's happiness or awkwardness. And you shouldn't sacrifice your own needs or desires just for the sake of making sure everyone feels comfortable all the time. It's exhausting and you'll never get anywhere. Rather than viewing this dance as just an opportunity to have fun and meet new people, you're stressing about a hypothetical interaction with a friend.

Fair enough. I actually kind of wish I'd kept this one to myself, it's kind of fucking weird to worry about something like that, and I know I'd hate if someone was asking hypothetical questions about me and trying to predict my behavior on a gaming forum. And I guess you're right about the second part, these things would go a lot smoother for me if I wasn't so focused on how other people were feeling or what they were thinking or what they may or may not (probably won't) do.

...

Have you even asked her out yet?

You're making up ridiculous situations for no reason, just let it go. And :lol about being worried that you upset a drunk girl. Why the hell would you even care?

You should start thinking about what's important to you and how you want to carry yourself in life and stop worrying if some insignificant action that no one will even remember makes someone unhappy for 5 seconds.

Yeah, I did. It's not like she said yes or seems interested/like she would try anything like this, but again, alcohol can make these things a bit unpredictable. But you're right, I don't know why I'm worrying about it, it's stupid to be. I was honestly considering not going just because I'm unsure how she is when she's drunk, but that's just dumb. I just get a bit nervous around girls who I've never seen drunk, because I've been around some who can get pretty... frisky, even if they're the opposite sober. I'd just rather know what to do for sure than to not know how to handle it in the moment.

If she makes any sort of advances on you, don't take them. Not worth any of the risks associated with it.

Honestly, just use common sense Matty.

Alright, that's all I needed to know. I absolutely knew that the whole no sex with a drunk person thing was common sense (and that wasn't a concern I had at ALL), but I was kind of unclear on anything else. In hindsight I guess it is kind of obvious, but it's good to know for certain. I guess I just need to hope she's a docile drunk and not a frisky one.

Ok, that's the last stupid hypothetical from me, I swear! Thanks for the answer though, it'll be a good one to add to my socially inept toolbox.

 

[Zeyphersan]

Another one for the pro-Tinder crowd. Been using it in Spain, never once encountered a bot. Of girls I get dates with, most are probably through Tinder (got one first date today, another on Sunday).

I pay £3 for Tinder Plus, but for me, it's worth it. If only for the utility of getting 5 'Super Swipes' in a 12 hour period instead of 1. People are just so much more likely to swipe back when you super swipe them. Easily worth the investment in my mind.

Man, I would pay ~$3 for Tinder Plus. They want to charge me $10, screw that

 

[Unai]

Dont you need 10 friends or something?

No. I created an alternative profile some weeks ago as I wanted to test something and it worked without friends.

 

[Dragonborn]

...

 

[Sami+]

It's called swiping right for all of them. You let them choose you.

lol I will admit I did do this at the beginning, but then I kept getting matches I didn't really want. :V

 

[gaiages]

.

Should you have lied? No. That seems like a rather weird thing to lie about, and seems unusual that you wouldn't tell her something that would alleviate some of her worries immediately.

Is she overreacting? A bit. To call off the whole relationship over what is essentially not the biggest deal is weird as well. If she were to overreact to something like that, sounds like you dodged a bullet.

So yeah, sounds like the relationship's over, and you probably shouldn't talk to her anymore.