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[Miles Quaritch]

Not sure what ignoring her will achieve. So she sent a thumbs up in a text. Does it really matter?

Not to turn this into a story about me, but I told my girlfriend I loved her for the first time a few days ago and she replied with .... until she done with work and then she called me and had a go for saying it via text instead of saying it person or over a phone call. She was pretty damn angry about it too, put the phone down and didn't reply to my texts for a few hours. So I called her, said I should have known better, said I love you properly this time and it all worked out peachy.

I think you should just call her and talk to her. The idea that you should leave things is silly, just deal with the problem instead of leaving it to fester and turn into something that could actually threaten your relationship.

She's hurt that you lied and with good reason, stupid thing to lie about really. Try and make amends. Longer you leave it, harder it will be.

 

[vicissitudes]

I have a question that I wasn't really sure who to ask.

I am ugly. Even if I wasn't ugly, I have a terrible personality. Even if it wasn't for that, I have mental illness issues. And even if it wasn't for that, I'm 27 and have no experience dating, and nobody in their mid to late 20s wants to be somebody's first girlfriend.

I have absolutely nothing going for me. Nobody will ever want to be with me. And even if, by some miraculous stroke of luck, I found somebody who could actually stand me, I have no doubt that she'd leave me once she got to know me better, and/or the second she met somebody better (which would be pretty much anyone).

So how do I live with the pain of knowing that I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life?

Where do you live? If you're in the area I could help you but there's only so much online strangers can do for you. Do you have friends you can talk to about this?

 

[Astral]

Even when I liked everyone in Tinder I got zero human matches lol. I guess it could have been bad pictures but not a single match? Come on.

 

[Sami+]

Fair enough. I actually kind of wish I'd kept this one to myself, it's kind of fucking weird to worry about something like that, and I know I'd hate if someone was asking hypothetical questions about me and trying to predict my behavior on a gaming forum. And I guess you're right about the second part, these things would go a lot smoother for me if I wasn't so focused on how other people were feeling or what they were thinking or what they may or may not (probably won't) do.


Yeah, I did. It's not like she said yes or seems interested/like she would try anything like this, but again, alcohol can make these things a bit unpredictable. But you're right, I don't know why I'm worrying about it, it's stupid to be. I was honestly considering not going just because I'm unsure how she is when she's drunk, but that's just dumb. I just get a bit nervous around girls who I've never seen drunk, because I've been around some who can get pretty... frisky, even if they're the opposite sober. I'd just rather know what to do for sure than to not know how to handle it in the moment.


Alright, that's all I needed to know. I absolutely knew that the whole no sex with a drunk person thing was common sense (and that wasn't a concern I had at ALL), but I was kind of unclear on anything else. In hindsight I guess it is kind of obvious, but it's good to know for certain. I guess I just need to hope she's a docile drunk and not a frisky one.

Ok, that's the last stupid hypothetical from me, I swear! Thanks for the answer though, it'll be a good one to add to my socially inept toolbox.

Wait, are you not gonna drink at the party? Just go and have fun, obviously don't have sex but I mean if she kisses you she kisses you dude, it's not the end of the world. If anything liquid confidence is something you could use.

That being said I don't know if you're actually fun to be around when you're drunk, but the way I see it she went out of her way to invite you to a party where she's going to drink, knowing full well that you're interested in her (you didn't ask "mind if I join" or anything did you?) - I don't think you should be so concerned with turning down advances. Lay on the charm and have a good time, dude. Maybe I'm just reading into things but her wanting to go party with you after she said she wants to go out on a real date at a later time implies she really is interested and wants to go out with you imo.

 

[MattyG]

Wait, are you not gonna drink at the party? Just go and have fun, obviously don't have sex but I mean if she kisses you she kisses you dude, it's not the end of the world. If anything liquid confidence is something you could use.

That being said I don't know if you're actually fun to be around when you're drunk, but the way I see it she went out of her way to invite you to a party where she's going to drink, knowing full well that you're interested in her (you didn't ask "mind if I join" or anything did you?) - I don't think you should be so concerned with turning down advances. Lay on the charm and have a good time, dude. Maybe I'm just reading into things but her wanting to go party with you after she said she wants to go out on a real date at a later time implies she really is interested and wants to go out with you imo.

Nah, I don't live on campus and love to be able to stay and drink but I've gotta drive home afterwards. But I guess you might be right, I hadn't thought about it like that. I guess I'll just go, try to go with the flow of things, and try not to worry too much about what might happen.

And I've been told that I'm a fun drunk, so it probably would help if I could drink. But alas, such is the plight of the underage/off-campus drinker.

 

[VASPER]

I want to know what Gaf thinks on this one, a new girl is working at one of the gyms i frequent. She and I hit it off, have a great first date so we decide to go on another one 3 days later, just a walk and a beer after. Everything is great until we talk about "past" relationship I have had, now I've dated only one girl from this gym and she left and no longer works there and no longer lives in the state hence why we are no longer dating. I also have asked two other girls that work at this gym out Neither of them worked out and IMO this is no problem. This new girl we will call her Nancy, has a problem that i have seen a "few" girls that have worked at this gym. So we drive home and I just bring up that she seems uneasy about that fact "she doesn't want to be on some list" her words there, and I just told her she doesn't have to date me if that's a problem but I insist that she is the only one I'm interested in and that's the truth. She kinda gets over it and we hug and we kiss she says she wants to see me again but I couldn't help but feel bad about asking girls out and sharing that fact with this girl I'm very excited about, so tonight Is normally the night I go to the gym and she will be there I kinda don't know what to expect or to even think. Like I want to show her I'm for real about her but not wanting to come off as needy, what do you think I should do? I feel like after posting this I don't need any advice I'm going to just be myself and if she likes me great if not meh ill live.

Hopefully that makes sense I'm the worst writer.

 

[ShemhazaiX]

So, just read the entire Tinder conversation that happened after I brought it up. Read all about the catfishing and bots and stuff being location dependent. Is the UK good or bad for it? Had three matches so far, and I'm quite stingy with the swiping right.

Also, got to say what the fuck is with all the duck face. I thought it was just a stupid thing people did ironically in selfies, not something they do intentionally to try to pull people. It's so damn unattractive.

 

[Gray Matter]

I want to know what Gaf thinks on this one, a new girl is working at one of the gyms i frequent. She and I hit it off, have a great first date so we decide to go on another one 3 days later, just a walk and a beer after. Everything is great until we talk about "past" relationship I have had, now I've dated only one girl from this gym and she left and no longer works there and no longer lives in the state hence why we are no longer dating. I also have asked two other girls that work at this gym out Neither of them worked out and IMO this is no problem. This new girl we will call her Nancy, has a problem that i have seen a "few" girls that have worked at this gym. So we drive home and I just bring up that she seems uneasy about that fact "she doesn't want to be on some list" her words there, and I just told her she doesn't have to date me if that's a problem but I insist that she is the only one I'm interested in and that's the truth. She kinda gets over it and we hug and we kiss she says she wants to see me again but I couldn't help but feel bad about asking girls out and sharing that fact with this girl I'm very excited about, so tonight Is normally the night I go to the gym and she will be there I kinda don't know what to expect or to even think. Like I want to show her I'm for real about her but not wanting to come off as needy, what do you think I should do? I feel like after posting this I don't need any advice I'm going to just be myself and if she likes me great if not meh ill live.

Hopefully that makes sense I'm the worst writer.

Don't shit where you eat.

Has no one ever told you that?

 

[gaiages]

I want to know what Gaf thinks on this one, a new girl is working at one of the gyms i frequent. She and I hit it off, have a great first date so we decide to go on another one 3 days later, just a walk and a beer after. Everything is great until we talk about "past" relationship I have had, now I've dated only one girl from this gym and she left and no longer works there and no longer lives in the state hence why we are no longer dating. I also have asked two other girls that work at this gym out Neither of them worked out and IMO this is no problem. This new girl we will call her Nancy, has a problem that i have seen a "few" girls that have worked at this gym. So we drive home and I just bring up that she seems uneasy about that fact "she doesn't want to be on some list" her words there, and I just told her she doesn't have to date me if that's a problem but I insist that she is the only one I'm interested in and that's the truth. She kinda gets over it and we hug and we kiss she says she wants to see me again but I couldn't help but feel bad about asking girls out and sharing that fact with this girl I'm very excited about, so tonight Is normally the night I go to the gym and she will be there I kinda don't know what to expect or to even think. Like I want to show her I'm for real about her but not wanting to come off as needy, what do you think I should do? I feel like after posting this I don't need any advice I'm going to just be myself and if she likes me great if not meh ill live.

Hopefully that makes sense I'm the worst writer.

Well, I mean... it does seems a little weird that the only people you've asked out and dated are people from this same gym. I mean, it's good that you were honest, but... yeah, that can easily been seen as 'oh, the new girl's in the gym, time to put the charms on her', whether that's your train of thought or not.

But I mean, just be you. And if it doesn't work out, consider trying to find women elsewhere, it'll make your 'past relationships' history look a bit better.

So, just read the entire Tinder conversation that happened after I brought it up. Read all about the catfishing and bots and stuff being location dependent. Is the UK good or bad for it? Had three matches so far, and I'm quite stingy with the swiping right.

Also, got to say what the fuck is with all the duck face. I thought it was just a stupid thing people did ironically in selfies, not something they do intentionally to try to pull people. It's so damn unattractive.

Pretty sure even on Tinder it's done ironically, but yeah, it looks silly as all heck regardless.

 

[n64coder]

Everything is great until we talk about "past" relationship I have had,

How did this come up in conversation? I don't recall ever talking about past relationships until I've dated someone for awhile. Even then, I don't get too specific and try to be vague as possible.

 

[ShemhazaiX]

Pretty sure even on Tinder it's done ironically, but yeah, it looks silly as all heck regardless.

It's pretty much an instant no when I see it as their display picture. Also, what were people talking about in regards to there being a limit? Is it only for swiping right? Because I've just been going through it in my spare time because it's oddly therapeutic and haven't hit any kind of limitation.

Also, what is the deal with super like by the way? Does it show them that you "Super Liked" them? How does it work?

 

[VASPER]

How did this come up in conversation? I don't recall ever talking about past relationships until I've dated someone for awhile. Even then, I don't get too specific and try to be vague as possible.

We both train at the same gym and these people came up in conversation, I never shy away from talking about these things. Like I want to know what made you angry about a person or what you liked about a past relationship. It helps me get to know someone, I like to laugh about these things but then again I've learned not to take this shit to serious.

Ah what ever, if you like someone and your a real fucking person then none of this should matter, I'm not going to sit around and be scared what others think, like live your life and enjoy what you have move forward you never know what you might get.

 

[Ray Wonder]

I have a super serious question guys plz help


How serious is bae?


lol

 

[Oblivion]

.

Something similar happened to me quite recently, actually. Mentioned it in this same thread too.

Me and a friend of mine attempted to start dating. We were going to meet for lunch one day (this is before any actual official dating stuff began) and I mistakenly went to the wrong burger joint. The one that she was at was about 30 mins away, and when I told her that I showed up at the wrong place, she really didn't take it well. She said that she was going to get her lunch to go and that she would talk to me later. She didn't speak to me for the rest of the weekend (this happened on a Sat), and I bought her flowers, which she eventually thanked me for via text, but said that it's probably a good idea that we just stay friends.

Now, mind you, the relationship was quite a bit different from yours. Unlike you guys, we never officially ever dated to begin with. Furthermore, even if the above situation didn't happen, I don't think either of us was into the other very much to begin with. She seemed to be hesitant to date a non-Christian, and I wasn't really smitten with her looks (she had an amazing body, but the face left much to be desired). And of course, there was her personality. Granted, she was a great person to be around 99% of the time. Very nice, friendly, sweet and all that. But she seemed to get pissed off really easily, as mentioned above. In that sense, I felt like I dodged a bullet.

Your ladyfriend seemed to overreact at what seems to be a relatively unserious transgression, which would be kind of a red flag. On the other hand, you guys did seem to legitimately love each other and have a far closer sense of attachment than me and mine did. It's kinda hard for me to say as a spectator, but if you really cared about each other that much before, then I suppose I personally would make one last attempt to work things out. Give her a call and see if you guys can bury the hatchet.

After that point, if she still says no or is giving you half-assed texts, then it's time to cut her loose.

 

[ZackieChan]

At some point you need to decide whether or not you're going to entertain the petty nonsense. I used to do it all the time. Not so much now.

It's just like a negotiation or Robert DeNiro in Heat - you need to be able to walk away, at least until you're a serious couple. Ain't nobody got time for someone getting heated over your small, understandable mistake.

 

[Xun]

I had a decent chat with a girl on Tinder, I asked her out, and then she unmatched me a few days later.

It's fucking infuriating.

 

[ZackieChan]

I had a decent chat with a girl on Tinder, I asked her out, and then she unmatched me a few days later.

It's fucking infuriating.

It's all in the game, homey. Happens to the best of us. It is infuriating, though!

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Something similar happened to me quite recently, actually.

I find this sorta stuff so stupid. People make innocent mistakes. Shit happens. Such over reaction.

I was suppose to have lunch with a friend during my lunch break. I got caught in a meeting that went way past due. I got to the restaurant and my friend . . . Totally understood and everything was cool. It was nice to be friends with people who understands that like nothing is perfect 100% of the time

Like people that just be bitchy about innocent mistakes get cut off real fucking quick. Its an unappealing trait I personally cannot handle.

 

[MattyG]

Welp. Not going to that Halloween thing after all. She just texted me and said her roommate and her aren't going, they're just going to have a "girl's night".

Glad we're continuing the cancellation trend.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Welp. Not going to that Halloween thing after all. She just texted me and said her roommate and her aren't going, they're just going to have a "girl's night".

Glad we're continuing the cancellation trend.

You wont know anyone else at this thing? Why not just convince some friends to go, drink a bit and crash on a buds couch? Go have a good time. You should not build all your plans for fun around one girl, it never works out.

 

[Astral]

Welp. Not going to that Halloween thing after all. She just texted me and said her roommate and her aren't going, they're just going to have a "girl's night".

Glad we're continuing the cancellation trend.

Just go anyway. Maybe you'll find another girl. If you don't then you'll at least hopefully have fun.

 

[Ray Wonder]

Brehs, if we been talking for like a month (texting all the time everyday basically) , but only been on three "dates" and she hit me with "Happy Halloween 2 u 2 bae 😇"

What that mean tho.

I don't know the severity of bae.

 

[Roberto Larcos]

Brehs, if we been talking for like a month (texting all the time everyday basically) , but only been on three "dates" and she hit me with "Happy Halloween 2 u 2 bae 😇"

What that mean tho.

I don't know the severity of bae.

Shit man you're in deep.

 

[ZackieChan]

Brehs, if we been talking for like a month (texting all the time everyday basically) , but only been on three "dates" and she hit me with "Happy Halloween 2 u 2 bae 😇"

What that mean tho.

I don't know the severity of bae.

"youarealreadywed.gif" or

 

[Ray Wonder]

Shit man you're in deep.

"youarealreadywed.gif" or

Ok but I'm the corny one saying super corny shit all the time. I thought I'd be the first to say some shit like bae.

Whatever, I'm cool with it. 🤗😊☺️

😂😂

Edit: might help to specify that one of those dates was me and her chillin for literally 8 hours just talking. I guess that could accelerate things a bit to bae level.

 

[Sami+]

Welp. Not going to that Halloween thing after all. She just texted me and said her roommate and her aren't going, they're just going to have a "girl's night".

Glad we're continuing the cancellation trend.

Call a friend who can drive to the party, drink, meet people. ¯_(&#12484_/¯

Brehs, if we been talking for like a month (texting all the time everyday basically) , but only been on three "dates" and she hit me with "Happy Halloween 2 u 2 bae 😇"

What that mean tho.

I don't know the severity of bae.

 

[ShemhazaiX]

Ok GAF. Tinder experiment yielded results. Unsure how to interpret data. After about four messages she ended one with an " x ". Are we married now?
Edit: seriously though, guessing it's a good sign. I forgot to respond with an x though. I hope she doesn't read into my lack of x as much as I read into her addition of x.

 

[Your Entertainer]

Every time you begin to overthink any aspect of interacting with a woman, such as this "drunk friend at dance" situation - just take a deep breath and stop thinking. I know people have already called you out for overthinking every single little detail of every situation with every woman you interact with, but dude, it's ridiculous. If she tries to kiss you, and you are interested, then just go with it. If you're not interested, then don't. If she gets upset... it doesn't matter in the slightest. You're acting as if harmlessly "upsetting" an intoxicated friend is a threat to your well being.

I suggest you let go of this silly fear of rubbing people the wrong way or causing any sort of minor distress in your friendships/relationships. You can't please everyone. You can't mediate everyone's happiness or awkwardness. And you shouldn't sacrifice your own needs or desires just for the sake of making sure everyone feels comfortable all the time. It's exhausting and you'll never get anywhere. Rather than viewing this dance as just an opportunity to have fun and meet new people, you're stressing about a hypothetical interaction with a friend.

Excellent post.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

Welp. Not going to that Halloween thing after all. She just texted me and said her roommate and her aren't going, they're just going to have a "girl's night".

Glad we're continuing the cancellation trend.

Dude, then move the fuck on. If she's continually canceling then it's a sign to forget about her. You've been expending too much energy on her anyhow over the last couple of weeks.

 

[gaiages]

Man, only semi-related, but I was browsing Facebook and a (former) friend of mine just got engaged. They started dating, like... 5 months ago. Earlier in the year when we were still friends she'd tell me how much she disliked him.

Well, I guess it's nice to be young and in love? (she's 20, he's... uh 23 I think?)

I don't really see the reason to rush to get married, but maybe I'm weird.

Spoiler

Sorry just wanted to say what's really on my mind about that because I sure as hell can't say that to anyone irl

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Ok but I'm the corny one saying super corny shit all the time. I thought I'd be the first to say some shit like bae.

Whatever, I'm cool with it. 🤗😊☺️

😂😂

Edit: might help to specify that one of those dates was me and her chillin for literally 8 hours just talking. I guess that could accelerate things a bit to bae level.

What the hell did you talk about for 8 hours? Crazy...

 

[njean777]

Ok, this is going to be a long post and something I just need some advice on.

Warning this post involves cheating: so if you are going to lambaste me or the other person involved then please just do not even respond, I know cheating is wrong and I feel terrible about being an accomplice to it, but sometimes it happens for a reason whether you believe in that or not.

Anyways on to the story: This woman and I have been emotionally/intimately (not full blown sex, but fooling around) involved for going on three months now. In total we have been talking for about 6 months, which is why this story is going to be long and at this point (at least to me) maybe confusing. Anyways 3 months ago we ended going out for some drinks (and yes she has a boyfriend), after going out we ended up fooling around and then going our separate ways for the weekend. We work together also so take that into account as we see each other everyday and talk.

Fast forward from that night and we work out together (we are both gym people), and one day end up going out again. She tells me a lot about herself and her life, about her addict brother that she feels she has to take care of. She takes care of this brother and is an emotional wreck over it btw. Fast forward again: and we still to this day talk to each other everyday and she still puts up with me and doesn't seem to be flighty. I mention this because she admitted that she usually walks away from people and leaves them so she doesn't have to deal with the emotions, but for some reason hasn't walked away from me, she even commented that she doesn't want to lose me.

We talked and talked and talked and we came to the conclusion that we both have feelings for each other bordering on love. She even told me that she doesn't love her BF as of about a year ago and feels trapped in the situation as he sold his truck for her to get a new one, and they both rent a house together. Btw she doesn't usually go home after work either as she cannot stand to be there with him. At this point I think it is safe to say (could be wrong) that she isn't just looking for attention because if she was I think she would have basically dissapeared and not put up with my asshole ways for this long. We have gone through three times now where we wouldn't talk for days, of course working together made us see each other everyday, but we wouldn't talk at all.

Now though it has gotten even more weird, she basically told me that she is terrified of me because her first boyfriend broke her heart and I know that is the biggest reason that she is scared to leave her boyfriend and start dating me. I told her though I would not instantly go into a relationship with her as I feel that we can date and she can be alone for at least six months before we ever even think about calling this a relationship or god forbid move in together. She also said that if she lost her current BF tomorrow that she wouldn't care as she hasn't loved him for about a year.

So as you can see this whole thing is a just a huge mindfuck to me and at this point I am so lost and confused that I have no clue what to do. I accept her for who she is (as does she for who I am), but at this point if she is too scared to open up her heart again for love I have no idea if I should even continue this. She has cheated on this BF three times but none of them have ever made her feel like I do, nor have they gotten as far as I have. The most she did with them was kiss and make out (at least that is what she says). She never cheated on her first BF even though he cheated on her 8 times that she knows about and broke her heart.

BTW she has left her current BF twice for extended periods of time but says she went back to him for security reasons and because the guys she ended up leaving him for were not who she thought they were.

So Gaf I know as I write this out I see the fucking stupidity of the whole situation, but at the same time feel like maybe she is being honest with me and that she actually does "love" me as all of her past behaviors seem to be not happening with me. So what should I do at this point? Back off and see what she does, run for the hills, continue and see where this goes? I just don't fucking know anymore.

Also the three times we have been out only the first involved alcohol. The other times we talked for like 4 hours each time and just chilled. While also fooling around. So take that for what you will.

 

[Ray Wonder]

What the hell did you talk about for 8 hours? Crazy...

Well maybe 4 of it was talking one on one. A buddy of mine came over and all three of us chilled for a while.

I knew this girl a little bit before I started dating her, so it just kinda flowed.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

So why does she have to be alone for at least six month before you even consider calling what you're both doing a relationship?

Seems like an odd and arbitrary requirement to add. You've known her for some time, she's confiding in you a lot, stuck around when she didn't to (sometimes people don't know just how valuable this is, especially when the person doesn't have to or doesn't owe you anything and still sticks around) and you still say she has to be alone for six months?

Are you scared of committing to a relationship with her?

 

[sasliquid]

Going to Halloween party tonight with this girl I've been seeing the last two weeks. I basically know no one else there and she wants to keep it low-key (I.e. Act like we aren't dating). Even though I've supported going slow I feel kinda hurt.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

^^What a clusterfuck of none sense. I wont even go into why you suck for helping her cheat and remain a coward but you and this girl will go no where regardless of what happens with her bf. None of what you described is complicated or deeply confusing. This is a girl who wont commit to either guy in her life. You are the guy that is literally stirring shit for someone who would so easily cheat on her bf and keep it a secret that she doesnt love him because reasons.

It wont end well for you no matter what. You can minimally stop fucking having relations with this girl until she comes clean to her boyfriend. You know, if you have any shred of decency.

Also, all these rules and conditions. Gawd damn. Relationships should not involve so many rules. Oh and the guys she previously left her bf for werent who she thought they were? Lol I'm way more inclined to believe she is the problem.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Well maybe 4 of it was talking one on one. A buddy of mine came over and all three of us chilled for a while.

I knew this girl a little bit before I started dating her, so it just kinda flowed.

Ah, that's cool. I think her calling you bae is a great sign. Pursue it hard, don't wait and let things settle back down. Capitalise...

I only say this because I know someone who was talking to this girl and she called herself his potential girlfriend a couple of times and he didn't respond to it in anyway as he thought it was a joke. She moved on, obviously because she thought he wasn't interested.

You see such obvious signs and you wonder how the fuck do people miss them...Who in the hell calls themselves someone's potential girlfriend if they aren't deeply interested? Sigh.

Schools need to start offering dating and relationship classes I think...too many people oblivious to the obvious.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

^^What a clusterfuck of none sense. I wont even go into why you suck for helping her cheat and remain a coward but you and this girl will go no where regardless of what happens with her bf. None of what you described is complicated or deeply confusing. This is a girl who wont commit to either guy in her life. You are the guy that is literally stirring shit for someone who would so easily cheat on her bf and keep it a secret that she doesnt love him because reasons.

It wont end well for you no matter what. You can minimally stop fucking having relations with this girl until she comes clean to ger boyfriend. You know, if you have any shred of decency.

I didn't want to be mention it as I thought that would just derail things, but you've pretty much nailed what I was thinking about the cheating aspect.

 

[Oblivion]

What the hell is a bae? Like Michael Bae? If so, I'd be pretty insulted, tbh.


Also, I went to the trouble of setting up a fake FB page with pictures and shit just so I could use Coffee Meets Bagel, only to find out that the software is not supported by my shitty phone. UGH.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

What the hell is a bae? Like Michael Bae? If so, I'd be pretty insulted, tbh.

Heh.

Another one of those new fangled signs of affection that people come up with. I'm sure you know that and you're being sarcastic and I fell for it through...

 

[gaiages]

.

If she's willing to cheat on her boyfriend (emotionally or physically, and both are happening here) with you, she's willing to cheat on you later down the line.

If she's unwilling to leave her boyfriend and cheated on him three times already, that's obviously someone that can't be in a healthy, normal relationship.

 

[njean777]

So why does she have to be alone for at least six month before you even consider calling what you're both doing a relationship?

Seems like an odd and arbitrary requirement to add. You've known her for some time, she's confiding in you a lot, stuck around when she didn't to (sometimes people don't know just how valuable this is, especially when the person doesn't have to or doesn't owe you anything and still sticks around) and you still say she has to be alone for six months?

Are you scared of committing to a relationship with her?

I'm not scared per se, just want her to find out if she really wants to be with me and not have her go into a committed relationship right after being in one. TBH it feels like we are dating now and she even admitted that.

If she's willing to cheat on her boyfriend (emotionally or physically, and both are happening here) with you, she's willing to cheat on you later down the line.

If she's unwilling to leave her boyfriend and cheated on him three times already, that's obviously someone that can't be in a healthy, normal relationship.

I don't agree there have been numerous times I have seen cheaters stop and be committed when they have found the right person, cheating isn't black and white (no matter what most believe). Mind you she is only 21 and hasn't been out of relationship more than 3 months since she was 16...

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

^^What a clusterfuck of none sense. I wont even go into why you suck for helping her cheat and remain a coward but you and this girl will go no where regardless of what happens with her bf. None of what you described is complicated or deeply confusing. This is a girl who wont commit to either guy in her life. You are the guy that is literally stirring shit for someone who would so easily cheat on her bf and keep it a secret that she doesnt love him because reasons.

It wont end well for you no matter what. You can minimally stop fucking having relations with this girl until she comes clean to her boyfriend. You know, if you have any shred of decency.

Also, all these rules and conditions. Gawd damn. Relationships should not involve so many rules. Oh and the guys she previously left her bf for werent who she thought they were? Lol I'm way more inclined to believe she is the problem.

Maybe I'm an some but after graduating highschool, if I ever had to put rules or conditions like that on someone I would just think why the fuck would I bother and cut contact. The amount of time and effort to go into that feels like it would always have to be a net negative. I just can't comprehend it anymore.

 

[Oblivion]

Heh.

Another one of those new fangled signs of affection that people come up with. I'm sure you know that and you're being sarcastic and I fell for it through...

Nope. First time I'm hearing of this word. I'm aware of "boo", but not "bae".

Kids these days...

 

[Gotdatmoney]

I didn't want to be mention it as I thought that would just derail things, but you've pretty much nailed what I was thinking about the cheating aspect.

He comes to a dating thread that values honesty, communication and trust and wants us to ignore he is pushing for a relationship with a person that lacks all three? Yeah fucking right. He's being shitty engaging this girl being an accomplice to cheating stirring the pot. And she lacks the maturity to ever give him a healthy relationship, not that he deserves it currently with this behaviour.

What the hell is a bae? Like Michael Bae? If so, I'd be pretty insulted, tbh.


Also, I went to the trouble of setting up a fake FB page with pictures and shit just so I could use Coffee Meets Bagel, only to find out that the software is not supported by my shitty phone. UGH.

Bae: Before Anyone Else. Mostly just a silly way of saying you care about someone.

 

[GK86]

Bae: Bacon And Eggs.

 

[Allaur]

Hi, dating Gaf. I need to ask you for advice for my close friend.
He’s been dating his current girlfriend for almost two years already. He graduated from university 3 months ago, so he’s currently searching for job. Now… Let’s say that paycheck which is normal in region where we live is X amount of money, and it’s really good if you’re able to get 1.5-2 times more than this. It looks like his girlfriend wants him to have 5X times of money right from the start – I can see him getting there, but only after 10 years at least and only if he’ll work really hard (and this guy... let's say he's not sure yet what kind of goals in life he has) . And they’re arguing about it. For me it looks like they’re not on the same page here and there is no future for them. But he really loves her and he is full of doubts right now. What can you advice to do in this kind of situation?

 

[Ray Wonder]

Bae: Bacon And Eggs.

Yo, I must be extra dope then.

 

[G-Bus]

I have a question that I wasn't really sure who to ask.

I am ugly. Even if I wasn't ugly, I have a terrible personality. Even if it wasn't for that, I have mental illness issues. And even if it wasn't for that, I'm 27 and have no experience dating, and nobody in their mid to late 20s wants to be somebody's first girlfriend.

I have absolutely nothing going for me. Nobody will ever want to be with me. And even if, by some miraculous stroke of luck, I found somebody who could actually stand me, I have no doubt that she'd leave me once she got to know me better, and/or the second she met somebody better (which would be pretty much anyone).

So how do I live with the pain of knowing that I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life?

Hah, I used to think the same way dude. I didn't meet my now fiance until I was 25 and she was 27. I hadn't so much as kissed a girl before that, never mind a date or sex.

Get out, do stuff you like. Focus on yourself. I guarantee things will fall into place when it seems least likely.

Lots of women are just as insecure, self concious and weird as you think you are. You aren't a lone. Don't ever feel like that.

Of course, this all way WAY easier said than done. You'll figure it out, and you'll look back and think "what the fuck was I thinking"

 

[Oblivion]

Bae: Bacon And Eggs.

I think I like this one better.