sometimes it makes me feel as if I'm using these people or just leading them on just incase #1 doesn't respond and I like her better.
----
an update: she replied
-
Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!
Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
- Start date
- Status
sometimes it makes me feel as if I'm using these people or just leading them on just incase #1 doesn't respond and I like her better.
----
an update: she replied
ZackieChan
Member
That's because you're still putting all your eggs in one basket emotionally.
Congrats, btw.
that makes sense. and thank you.
ZackieChan
Member
Agreed. I think 90% of the issues in this thread stem from putting all of one's efforts into one potential date.
Then there's the crazy woman-hating on the previous page. Even Hitler didn't hate women...
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Ummmmmmmmmm, cool?
ShemhazaiX
Member
What if you aren't really that bothered or desperate and consider talking to multiple girls at a time to be exhausting? I'd rather talk to one girl at a time and carry on playing Witcher 3 whilst I wait rather than doing more swiping. :[
I mean, there's definitely a problem with putting it all on one girl, but I don't see a problem with having a more focused view on everything. Just have to keep perspective really.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
I can't play the field, I get too wrapped up. I'm the most hopeless romantic there is.
Ditto for me.
Krauser Kat
Member
had a very mutual and friendly break up with my gf fo 2.5 years. I would be open to getting back with her if she ever moved back to chicago but she thinks las vegas is the best place for her at the moment. I think it could be work for her.
Its my first time using all these tinder and dating sites... this is a decent amount of work.
Its my first time using all these tinder and dating sites... this is a decent amount of work.
ZackieChan
Member
If this is your approach, I'd ask that you don't write post after post of "she hasn't responded yet...what should I do?"
Not that you've done that, but just in general.
ZackieChan
Member
Good advice. We need a faq
FAQ
Step 1 - Actually ask her out
Step 2 - Actually go on date
Step 3 -
Step 4 - Romantic profit!
Messofanego
Banned
This is what I'm doing, with marriage hopefuls. They have other options, too, you're not the only one juggling.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Gotdatmoney
Member
For once I disagree with you. I dont think ts that people are afraid to play the field, I morre think that in the dating world at least on the guy side it can be difficult to have 4 people you are talking to at once. Even if you wanna have all these girls on the flip you need an equal amount of reciprocation for it to be successful no?
Ideally you can always talk to multiple people. It doesnt always really work like that. If anything I think the issue is getting people into the positiin where other people want to consistently talk to them.
While talking about playing the field: at what point do you go for one of them and break it off with the other girls you're talking to or even have been on dates with? I'm digging the girl I made out with a few nights ago (fourth date) and she's definitely into me, but I actually have a first date scheduled for "this week" (so it's not final) and another first one "next week" with another girl, both of which I'm planning on not going to really.
Also when you do decide to break it off, how do you inform the girls of that? Even if it's the easiest option, I hate to be a ghoster. Ideally I'd like to tell them that I can't go on the dates right now, but still somehow leave the door open if things don't work out with the current one, you dig? Telling them the truth is hardly a good option since it makes them the second pick, and no one wants to be second pick. What do you guys do?
Also when you do decide to break it off, how do you inform the girls of that? Even if it's the easiest option, I hate to be a ghoster. Ideally I'd like to tell them that I can't go on the dates right now, but still somehow leave the door open if things don't work out with the current one, you dig? Telling them the truth is hardly a good option since it makes them the second pick, and no one wants to be second pick. What do you guys do?
It would be the same approach as if you were only talking to one girl: When you feel both of you are ready and want to be in a relationship.
You could just be honest. I usually tell them that I want to see where things go with this particular woman.
Edit - Oh, answered the wrong question lol. That one is tough.
You could just be honest. I usually tell them that I want to see where things go with this particular woman.
Edit - Oh, answered the wrong question lol. That one is tough.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Unless you and the current girl make it official I would go to your other dates. As for what you tell the other girls. I actually have 0 clue on how to make that go over well. I personally think once you commit to the one girl you shouldn't try and keep the others on the side just in case. Just start the game fresh if it doesnt work out. (This is probably cause if the flip happened ti ne I aint going to try a girl who picked the other dude over me)
ZackieChan
Member
You may be right. It's hard for us to help someone be a more interesting or datable person, though.
Thing is a lot of guys naturally fall into the trap of getting too invested in one girl when she's their only option, even when they don't necessarily mean to. Shit, it happened to me again recently, and I'm someone who should know better. On the bright side, that was the motivation I needed to start being more proactive after a long dry spell.
ShemhazaiX
Member
Oh I know, it's just I see a of people saying that EVERYONE should play the field, when really, a lot of guys aren't cut out for that. Back in high school and college I really couldn't handle having more than one girl at the flirting stage and it ended up with some awkward as hell situations. Obviously people need to not get obsessed with one person, but the cure isn't necessarily more quantity.
Saying that, really into this girl I'm talking to at the moment. To the extent that she's on my mind a fair bit. Not really fussed whether it works out in the end, but the chase is fun.
Gotdatmoney
Member
No arguments there
Also to the above. I'm still a firm believer in everyone playing the field. I don't believe in "I'm not cut out for it", you can learn and get better. If youhave 3 people all interested and talking to you why exactly do you need some speciific mind set to talk back to all 3? It just comes off as excuses to me. Like unless you only ever like a single person at a time ever this is just weird to me
ZackieChan
Member
Can you explain the bolded?
ShemhazaiX
Member
I can, confused as to what aspect needs to be explained though? Handling multiple girls at a time isn't something that comes natural to a lot of people. Some people just suck at it in general, some prefer to tailor their flirting specifically to each girl which makes it harder to canvas, some just don't have the energy for keeping track of a bunch of people who are effectively strangers to them.
Is that what you wanted to know? Is there any other way you need me to elaborate?
I mean, everyone can do it. It takes practice, but it's doable. I'm of the opinion not everyone has to do it, though.
Much like drawing/art, everyone can do it, but some have natural ability, and others don't. With drawing, whether it's by skill or by practice, you can learn to do it. It's more of a matter if you want to put in the effort (which can require *a lot of it*, don't get me wrong).
Much like drawing/art, everyone can do it, but some have natural ability, and others don't. With drawing, whether it's by skill or by practice, you can learn to do it. It's more of a matter if you want to put in the effort (which can require *a lot of it*, don't get me wrong).
ShemhazaiX
Member
That's not what I meant at all.
edit: I'm not saying that people can't do it. I'm saying it's not a one size fits all option.
Looks like us editing caused a bit of a problem
I'll edit out my misassumption then.ShemhazaiX
Member
Looks like us editing caused a bit of a problem
Yeah no problem. I think you posted nearly simultaneously with my other post so it's not really your fault.
D
Deleted member 529084
Unconfirmed Member
Little advice would help..
So seeing the Libarian still (past post I've made months ago can explain this)
Turns out she's amazing..really into her. Seriously sad and guilty how I treated her when I was ending yet still seeing my crazy ex.
It's been a good 2 months.
So, I have a dentist appointment tomorrow and I told her. We talked about it and she said "that's good, I like my boyfriends to have teeth"
And I asked "what if they aren't real"
And she says "Implants and such are ok but dentures are too soon"
So...here's the thing
I had implants from a skateboard accident when I was a teen.
In my 20's I got an infection and had to have my top teeth removed.
I have my bottoms...but I wear a top denture.
Not many people know...I figured I'd have to tell that special person one day tho but iT's embarassing.
Now hearing that I'm kinda like "well, it's over"
Any suggestions on what I should say and or do?
I really don't wanna tell her and have her stick around for pity cause we just talked about it. Also I sent her flowers today to cheer her up cause work is stressing her. Don't want that to be another "I can't break up with him now since he sent me flowers...next week tho!"
I really wanna lay it on the lIke "take it or leave it, tell me know" type of terms.
Fuck...have no idea how to approach this.
So seeing the Libarian still (past post I've made months ago can explain this)
Turns out she's amazing..really into her. Seriously sad and guilty how I treated her when I was ending yet still seeing my crazy ex.
It's been a good 2 months.
So, I have a dentist appointment tomorrow and I told her. We talked about it and she said "that's good, I like my boyfriends to have teeth"
And I asked "what if they aren't real"
And she says "Implants and such are ok but dentures are too soon"
So...here's the thing
I had implants from a skateboard accident when I was a teen.
In my 20's I got an infection and had to have my top teeth removed.
I have my bottoms...but I wear a top denture.
Not many people know...I figured I'd have to tell that special person one day tho but iT's embarassing.
Now hearing that I'm kinda like "well, it's over"
Any suggestions on what I should say and or do?
I really don't wanna tell her and have her stick around for pity cause we just talked about it. Also I sent her flowers today to cheer her up cause work is stressing her. Don't want that to be another "I can't break up with him now since he sent me flowers...next week tho!"
I really wanna lay it on the lIke "take it or leave it, tell me know" type of terms.
Fuck...have no idea how to approach this.
Without hearing it, it seems like she was just joking. Too soon, as in dentures are for senior citizens. Seems like you are seriously overthinking a joke.
I think... you're overreacting a bit...
Also I'm pretty sure if you told her you have a top denture because of an infection she'd understand
Uhhhhh, this was probably a joke and you're reading WAY too much into this. It's not like you lost your teeth because you're some disgusting fuck who chews tobacco 10 hours a day and doesn't own a toothbrush - you lost them to an accident. Just bring it up. She's gonna say "ommmggg I'm so sorry I was only kidding".
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
With the truth. Likely she was joking that you were too young to have "old man dentures." Also, the fact that you're fretting over this shows that you care about this girl, and I'm really happy that's the case.
Start with, "I'm feeling a little anxious about how you'll perceive me after this, but I need to tell you something." Then, just explain the accident.
D
Deleted member 529084
Unconfirmed Member
I do care about her..It's crazy, I didn't expect to at all.
I've been fretting over having to tell someone the truth. Now it's worse cause I didn't tell her when I was luke warm about her when I should have.
Ugh...I got butterflys.
I'm completely copy+pasting what you wrote tho...I'm terrible with finding the right words.
ShemhazaiX
Member
So, I accidentally ended up talking to five girls at once on Tinder. I was trying so hard to just talk to one, but everything got out of hand after people I messaged a day or two ago decided to reply earlier today. :|
How do people manage to stay interesting to multiple girls at a time? Especially when the majority of girls don't seem that interesting themselves? Like, one or two I've managed to hit it off with easily, but with some girls it's like pulling teeth :|
How do people manage to stay interesting to multiple girls at a time? Especially when the majority of girls don't seem that interesting themselves? Like, one or two I've managed to hit it off with easily, but with some girls it's like pulling teeth :|
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Dude, are you serious? Of all the things to worry about in life, telling a girl you've been dating that you have dentures for two teeth is not one of them.
Cool!
D
Deleted member 529084
Unconfirmed Member
No its all my top teeth. Like it or not theirs a stigma being under 40 with a denture. Seriously having to hear about every girl, including her, talk about teeth it's always the same thing...jokes about some guy who was missing some or all. I knew when I entered the dating world the denture thing would be an obstacle I would face...hearing so many women I dated, hung out, or now really like make MANY comments about how important teeth has just made it worse.
I won't even kiss with tongue cause I'm scared the will find out. That's was a good thing about my crazy ex, she had one of those tongues that should have been clipped so she couldn't extend it and didn't use tongue either.
Now this girl wants to make out sometimes and my anxiety goes through the roof that she'll feel it.
Scares me cause...I'm catching feelings for her really fast cause she's been perfect thus far...
Plus she's I her 30's like me..accept she's never been married and has no kids. This means she's pretty hardened to the dating scene. Shes not one to fall quick and keeps her cards close to her chest.
I really believe shes capable of walking away over this and chalking it up as another wierd story.
I'm really over thinking this.
Dude just tell her. If she breaks up with you over an understandable reason to have dentures, then she isn't worth the trouble.
Also do you not have faith in the relationship you've cultivated with her thus far if you really think she'll walk away over something like this?
a few texts in I asked her if she has ever seen (movie) because I'm watching it and she says "not fully". so I ask what ones she's liked. nothin since last night.
figured I just give it a few days and then just send out a single text asking about something for the weekend? cool if I hear something but oh well if not. I'll probably run into her when I go back out there with my buddy sometime anyway.
side note: the other message thread is getting better activity though, going to plan something for the weekend if the above doesn't do anything.
figured I just give it a few days and then just send out a single text asking about something for the weekend? cool if I hear something but oh well if not. I'll probably run into her when I go back out there with my buddy sometime anyway.
side note: the other message thread is getting better activity though, going to plan something for the weekend if the above doesn't do anything.
ZackieChan
Member
Inception!
Don't talk with them too much over text. Go OUT with them! You should move for an in-person meeting asap.
And if they're not interesting, stop talking with them?
AnathemicOne
Banned
Yeah so I broke up with the GF after a month of relationship, surprisingly I'm not that distraught, just a bit annoyed (or moderately annoyed) at how it ended.
Now I mentioned earlier that the GF and I had a drama regarding bigotry between a mutual friend of ours with his roommate. Put simply I refused to go to our mutual friend's house anymore and the GF and the mutual friend were cool with it.
I mention the above story because over the next 2 weeks from that incident I've noticed that the GF started to eventually hang out at the place 3-4 times a week. Now to make clear I'm fine with the GF hanging out with friends I may or may not like (I'm not worried about her becoming influenced or anything and even if she did well it's not someone I need to date anyways), but she started to hang out more with friends rather than actually dating or spending time alone together.
Fast-forward I was accompanying her to the library for her school work to which she brought up the topic of having a serious talk. I'm open for this and she began that our relationship wasn't working out and we were not talking with each other that much. Due to the above situation(s) I've described I agreed with her. I then asked if she would like to talk more in-depth about the issue to which to my surprise she said "Nah, I've said my piece." Said conversation ended as such and she wished us to remain as friends which I said sure as I was still in bewilderment.
Like, what? There was no closure and I tried to be mature about it, the fuck? Was there any other way I could've handled it GAF? Again, I'm not mad or depressed, but I'm a bit annoyed at how it ended without any closure for my sake.
Now I mentioned earlier that the GF and I had a drama regarding bigotry between a mutual friend of ours with his roommate. Put simply I refused to go to our mutual friend's house anymore and the GF and the mutual friend were cool with it.
I mention the above story because over the next 2 weeks from that incident I've noticed that the GF started to eventually hang out at the place 3-4 times a week. Now to make clear I'm fine with the GF hanging out with friends I may or may not like (I'm not worried about her becoming influenced or anything and even if she did well it's not someone I need to date anyways), but she started to hang out more with friends rather than actually dating or spending time alone together.
Fast-forward I was accompanying her to the library for her school work to which she brought up the topic of having a serious talk. I'm open for this and she began that our relationship wasn't working out and we were not talking with each other that much. Due to the above situation(s) I've described I agreed with her. I then asked if she would like to talk more in-depth about the issue to which to my surprise she said "Nah, I've said my piece." Said conversation ended as such and she wished us to remain as friends which I said sure as I was still in bewilderment.
Like, what? There was no closure and I tried to be mature about it, the fuck? Was there any other way I could've handled it GAF? Again, I'm not mad or depressed, but I'm a bit annoyed at how it ended without any closure for my sake.
ZackieChan
Member
Yeah, I'm thinking she may herself hold those views. At least thinking that will give you the closure you seek, OP.
matrixbulletdodge.gif
AnathemicOne
Banned
I dunno, I feel like I should've heard the exact reasoning from her mouth like particularly why she felt we weren't talking at much or whatever instead of me throwing assumptions out from what I see. I like talking about shit too much, I dunno, perhaps I expect too much. Ah well, I've learned from the experience I believe and that's what matters in the end.
- Status