Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
SMFH. Don't make excuses that you're too nice of a guy.
-
Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!
Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
- Start date
- Status
SMFH. Don't make excuses that you're too nice of a guy.
I didn't respond very kindly so that isn't the case. Just a few one word responses.
The all-caps non-punctuated question is valid. Why respond?
You're too nice of a guy (or rather using that excuse, sorry I was looking for gifs and misread something) if you responded multiple times after learning who it was
so
yeah
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Bro...
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
It's just as shitty as being petty as hell and wanting to tell people "fuck you"? I'm at a loss of words.
Yes it is. It's not direct enough. Telling someone "no" or "not interested" or "get out of here" is a lot more direct. I wouldn't actually say "fuck you." That's a bit too much.
Count Dookkake
Member
You should note the word "trying."
Duuuuuh.
What I mean is that for me it is difficult to keep track of conversations, likes/dislikes, etc as well as budget time and money for more than one person. So while I might enjoying boning around, the reality is that it bums me out in the long run, because I don't feel fully engaged. As I've gotten older, I've definitely become more fidelitous.
Welp, I pulled back and gave that girl her space while still maintaining casual contact for a few weeks like you guys said, and now the last few days she's acting like she's interested and has been very flirty.
That sounds like good news! I think! Matty you sly dog
Now see, that sounds a lot better than what you initially said, lol
I've never dated more than one person at a time. More just seems like too much energy.
2 month silence, and then 24 h delay responses. She likes the attention you give her, and you like the meager attention she gives you. Otherwise you wouldn't be doing this silly chase. Even if you didn't want to completely ignore her, your first response would be have finality to it.
This isn't really about you being 'nice'. It's about wanting to get the last word in.
I mean, I don't see why else you would be humoring her in this dumb game.
2 month silence, and then 24 h delay responses. She likes the attention you give her, and you like the meager attention she gives you. Otherwise you wouldn't be doing this silly chase. Even if you didn't want to completely ignore her, your first response would be have finality to it.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
😠😤😞😞
Yeah I think that's it. I'm not trying to be nice exactly. And I don't think three one word responses really count as attention. If that's satisfying her then she's weird I guess.
To demonstrate the opposite of what's going on here: I messaged the girl who went on that trip recently just asking what's up, thinking there might still be a chance there since we didn't have a definite goodbye. Anyway I then asked how she sees us and she tells me she has a boyfriend which she is very happy with, also sprinkling in some "oh my god move on already", "get over it" and whatnot. Didn't need that, stopped talking to her. After a few days of not talking she comes with this cryptic message which I don't understand so I ask her what do you mean. She tells me the same again, to move on already even though she initiated contact. Deleted that shit instantly. Feels good (spoiler: it doesn't, I still like her, but I need to move on for real).
Yeah, I'm hoping/thinking it is! It might be a bit tough because winter break's coming up and I'm still feeling the situation out to be sure that's what's going on, but I'm feeling really good about it this time. She just got out of a long term relationship a few months ago, so I think she just needed time to figure out what she wanted and was still in that process when I asked her out.
It sounds like you're kind of dodging a bullet on this one, to be honest.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
That sounds really weird.
j0hnnix
Member
Well. I'm partially single now. Broke up with my gf after a year of dating. It was fantastic to have her say she never loved me and used me. I of course, argued that she was Evil and I should of left her after certain situations she did.. Best one was saying she was extremely sick and while I made her soup and brought it to her place found she was out with her "guy friends", we broke up after a few days she apologized but 4 months later did the same thing and my buddy caught her flirting with her ex on Facebook. Anyways. I blocked her number and gave her the gifts she got me back, told her to ship me my clothes whenever, instead she sends her guy friend to drop off my stuff at the top of the stairs who texts me and calls me a bitch. I msg him back said thanks and called him, guess he wasn't man enough to answer the phone sent me to voicemail. Priceless class.
To be honest while telling me the love me part was bad the day of after this.. I happy its over with and I can move on with a friend I've been talking with.
To be honest while telling me the love me part was bad the day of after this.. I happy its over with and I can move on with a friend I've been talking with.
It seems that every flame that was lit over the past month has either blown out or is close to the point. Went on a date with this one girl, walked downtown, good conversation, got dinner and met her roommates. That was two weeks or so ago.
I'm not sure how this is going to sound but she's hardcore feminist and it's kinda a turn-off? I sound like some misogynist ass I'm sure but her vibe and how she carries herself sometimes just isn't for me. I love the intelligent conversations but she doesn't always get my sense of humor and it gets awkward because she then takes what I say serious. My random texts about something I'm looking at or thinking about sometimes confuses her and she doesn't know how to respond. ¯\_(ツ
_/¯ i guess
on another note, I'm planning on getting a haircut next week and possibly
. I'm hoping it'll help with my self-confidence a little bit to go along with some clothes.
I'm not sure how this is going to sound but she's hardcore feminist and it's kinda a turn-off? I sound like some misogynist ass I'm sure but her vibe and how she carries herself sometimes just isn't for me. I love the intelligent conversations but she doesn't always get my sense of humor and it gets awkward because she then takes what I say serious. My random texts about something I'm looking at or thinking about sometimes confuses her and she doesn't know how to respond. ¯\_(ツ
_/¯ i guess on another note, I'm planning on getting a haircut next week and possibly
a nose ring (i'm 23 in college before you ask)
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
It seems that every flame that was lit over the past month has either blown out or is close to the point. Went on a date with this one girl, walked downtown, good conversation, got dinner and met her roommates. That was two weeks or so ago.
I'm not sure how this is going to sound but she's hardcore feminist and it's kinda a turn-off? I sound like some misogynist ass I'm sure but her vibe and how she carries herself sometimes just isn't for me. I love the intelligent conversations but she doesn't always get my sense of humor and it gets awkward because she then takes what I say serious. My random texts about something I'm looking at or thinking about sometimes confuses her and she doesn't know how to respond. ¯\_(ツ
on another note, I'm planning on getting a haircut next week and possibly. I'm hoping it'll help with my self-confidence a little bit to go along with some clothes.a nose ring (i'm 23 in college before you ask)
Ok...? You seem to mention her being a feminist a lot as a turnoff but nothing you actually mentioned as a turnoff has anything to do with whether she's a feminist or not....
Miles Quaritch
Member
I hope you've taken steps to cut her out of your life. Block her everywhere. Hell, I'd even go so far as to change your number, which I've done in the past, but that's up to you.
Like, a lot of her conversations were about gender, terrorism, etc. stuff that is perfectly fine to talk about because I'm interested in it as well but those 3 things take over her entire facebook and are a majority of conversation topics during texts. It got dull pretty quick. Same goes for my sense of humor when it comes to topics like that. I remember I sent a picture that was a senseless joke about All Lives Matter which me and couple other people laughed at but she got offended when I asked what she thought about it.
Maybe another example would be the other day she texted me "who will buy me things?" and when I said "the other people" she blew up a little up and went into a rant about how she doesn't need a man because she'll buy it herself. I'm just sitting there like alright..I never said you were dependent on anyone. She gets very defensive about things at the drop of a dime and I guess that's a better way to describe a turn-off. Probably doesn't have to do with feminism.
I'm not sure tbh. those were her exact words to describe herself, though.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
But terrorism and racism topics aren't feminism... Like you two definitely don't seem compatible, I'm just not sure what feminism has to do with it still.
I think it's less a feminism thing and more that your sense of humor doesn't match up with her all that well. People are like that. I have a FB friend that has, like, zero sense of humor (like I've never seen her post a funny picture or anything at all, or say or laugh at anything irl). I don't know if she's a feminist or not, but she is a bit dull.
Me being mean about someone aside, just sounds like you two don't seem like a good match.
j0hnnix
Member
I've blocked her completely but I will probably change my number. It is what it is to be honest. Moving on..
Just go into FaceGAF for a recent picture.
yeah, i think we're on two different ends of the spectrum for humor. oh well, it is what it is. I'm actually not disappointed by this honestly, I'm kind of glad I'm learning how to deal with something not working out and just letting it be. I'm sure she'll get the hint soon since I haven't been texting her much like how we did before. but if not, I'm going to lean rather quickly how to let someone down easy.
ZackieChan
Member
She wants the
Matty
We get a lot of that here these days.
With those, I usually send more to confirm that they are, indeed, either boring or uninterested in me. Then bail if the new reply doesn't keep the convo going.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
😂😂 this is pretty good. Gave me a chuckle.
These sneak disses are unappreciated 😠
ZackieChan
Member
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Don't worry, we diss you enough that we have qualms coming right out and saying what we think 😂😂😂😂
went pretty well, got some drinks and she slept over. didn't have sex, just made out and fell asleep. which is fine with me.
can't really tell how compatible we are or anything, but it's nice to have a good time since it's been a while.
Not entirely about dating per se, but I have a question:
Next week I'm gonna bring my first girlfriend to my parent's place and introduce her to my family. I'm kinda nervous about it because personality-wise they aren't exactly similar. My family is a bit on the loud side and very extroverted while my gf's more the quiet type and I'm afraid they aren't gonna get along so great.
I know I'm definitely overthinking this and my family is very nice, not like they're gonna get in a fight or anything, but maybe you have some general advice for this? Like how much should I help her, should I take a step back and just let things go the way they will?
Man this'll be awkward.
Next week I'm gonna bring my first girlfriend to my parent's place and introduce her to my family. I'm kinda nervous about it because personality-wise they aren't exactly similar. My family is a bit on the loud side and very extroverted while my gf's more the quiet type and I'm afraid they aren't gonna get along so great.
I know I'm definitely overthinking this and my family is very nice, not like they're gonna get in a fight or anything, but maybe you have some general advice for this? Like how much should I help her, should I take a step back and just let things go the way they will?
Man this'll be awkward.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
I'm only really looking at doing a part time masters' degree more for the cute girl opportunities rather than the educational ones. That's pretty sad really. That's what life is like playing catch up I guess. Most people at my workplace are 40-50 year old men, and a bunch of women who are also in the same age range. Only 2 cute 20 something girls are in the same workplace, so real life really limits stuff. I'll look at doing salsa and kung fu once this temp contract ends, it's really taking up all of my weekday evenings right now. On to online dating next. Just a bit of an update here.
EDIT: My real preference is a 2nd undergrad, I feel like I really should have done Pharmacy or something more vocational instead, but since in my country you can't get loans for 2nd degrees I'd have to pay the insane uni fees by myself, so I have no choice but to do a Masters. Part time, so it lasts longer.
EDIT: My real preference is a 2nd undergrad, I feel like I really should have done Pharmacy or something more vocational instead, but since in my country you can't get loans for 2nd degrees I'd have to pay the insane uni fees by myself, so I have no choice but to do a Masters. Part time, so it lasts longer.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
So I went out with a girl I met on tinder last night. She's new to the area, so we went out to a few bars I suggested.
We're talking and laughing, I'm asking the questions the while constantly making eye contact. She has one of the most beautiful blue eyes ive ever seen. They were so piercing!
So she gets more comfortable as we've only sat at the front bars. She's touching my hand, arm, knee, you guys know what I'm talking about with experience.
It's chilly as we are walking to our next destinations. She wraps her arm around mine as we walk.
At the end of the night she thinks I'm drunk and wants to call an uber. I tell her I'm fine to drive, but she wanted to call an uber for herself because I don't know her well enough (she said she's old fashion during pre date text), and it's out of my way. I insist I drive her home, and tell her I'm the perfect gentleman. She agrees, I drive her home, and that was that.
I text her when I get home a little tipsy still saying I had a great time, thought she's pretty with beautiful eyes, great personality, and intelligence. She texts me later in the morning saying "lol thanks. I had a great time too. Great bar suggestions and great convo we had. Tty soon."
I text her back saying if she ran the color run this morning. Then I send another text saying we should get dinner next week. She only responds back to the first text saying she woke up too late and went to the farmers market. Didn't mention anything about the dinner. I text her back with "aww I'm sorry! Well I work today at two. I'll talk to you soon, and we should get dinner next week if you want..."
Hasn't responded yet, and I'll admit, she really doesn't seem to text, and responds late to texts.
So I dunno. This girl is drop dead gorgeous, and got more comfortable around me as the night went on, so I'm hoping this works out. I always tell myself not to get overly invested in a girl after the first meet, but it's hard when she ends up not interested, and it stings for a couple days.
We're talking and laughing, I'm asking the questions the while constantly making eye contact. She has one of the most beautiful blue eyes ive ever seen. They were so piercing!
So she gets more comfortable as we've only sat at the front bars. She's touching my hand, arm, knee, you guys know what I'm talking about with experience.
It's chilly as we are walking to our next destinations. She wraps her arm around mine as we walk.
At the end of the night she thinks I'm drunk and wants to call an uber. I tell her I'm fine to drive, but she wanted to call an uber for herself because I don't know her well enough (she said she's old fashion during pre date text), and it's out of my way. I insist I drive her home, and tell her I'm the perfect gentleman. She agrees, I drive her home, and that was that.
I text her when I get home a little tipsy still saying I had a great time, thought she's pretty with beautiful eyes, great personality, and intelligence. She texts me later in the morning saying "lol thanks. I had a great time too. Great bar suggestions and great convo we had. Tty soon."
I text her back saying if she ran the color run this morning. Then I send another text saying we should get dinner next week. She only responds back to the first text saying she woke up too late and went to the farmers market. Didn't mention anything about the dinner. I text her back with "aww I'm sorry! Well I work today at two. I'll talk to you soon, and we should get dinner next week if you want..."
Hasn't responded yet, and I'll admit, she really doesn't seem to text, and responds late to texts.
So I dunno. This girl is drop dead gorgeous, and got more comfortable around me as the night went on, so I'm hoping this works out. I always tell myself not to get overly invested in a girl after the first meet, but it's hard when she ends up not interested, and it stings for a couple days.
n64coder
Member
I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure your family will do fine and they'll probably make her feel very welcomed and part of the family. Your parents were in your situation one time and they know what it's like. I doubt they'll do anything to embarrass you or her.
Maybe you should look at another company? Keep in mind these old folks might have kids that are your age that they might want to introduce to you. In any case, don't rely on work/school to meet people. Find other places to meet people.
Just wait a bit for her to respond. The only thing about your text conversation is that I think the "we should get dinner next week if you want..." part is a bit wishy-washy. Be direct. Girls/women like guys who take charge. Instead, a few days later, ask her for another date. It would be good if you did something different than the first one.
With my wife, we met at a party the first time. Had dinner in Boston's North End for our first date. Took her to a jazz club for the second date. She did the third date idea which was to see the Maplethorpe's photography exhibit at the Museum of Fine Arts. She later told me that it was her way of testing me to see if I was racist or homophobic. No issues with me there. Just great black/white photography.
electricshake
Member
This. If you know you're going to be drinking, why take the car?
stn
Member
IMO, don't refer to yourself as that. It gives nice guy vibes. I know its not the same but just trust me on this one.
Personally I wouldn't give those types of compliments. Especially not on a first date. And her reply was definitely not proportionate to your compliment.
Deliberately. Either because she doesn't want to commit immediately or she actually has no intention of ever committing to it.
Shouldn't have done this, either. You already mentioned it once. But the second time it came off as lacking confidence since you added if you want.
She knows you want to get dinner. Time to cool off and let her suggest the idea. Onus is on her now to make a move. Just don't fall into the texting trap in-between while waiting for her to suggest a second date.
PSA: don't drink and drive. Leave the car at home. Seriously.
Omega Kirby
Member
So guys how should I proceed here. I think I'm messing up somewhere, might need to do something quick
Been dating this girl for about a month and a half. So far had four dates with her, two going out and two at her place.
We talk a lot, I make her laugh, touch zone is no problem; Can touch in any non sexual place with no negative reaction. Most of the time I can plant a kiss on her cheek. Though I haven't recieved one from her yet.
On the third date I tried to go for a kiss, got rejected but I laughed it off and payed no mind, probably my fault anyways since it wasn't a good place to do it but maybe she just wasn't ready?
Fourth date went swell, got to know more of her childhood and stuff. It was a short date but great, a picnic in a park. Didn't try to kiss her just to not come on too needy incase she was still not comfortable with it. We handholded for the first time, so there was that I guess. I dropped her off, another kiss on her cheek, a giggle from her and here I am.
So, what should I do now? Fifth date be the final chance to get a kiss? Or am I overthinking this and I should just keep going at this pace? Maybe ask her if I can kiss her next time? (I prefer spontaenous but meh)
Been dating this girl for about a month and a half. So far had four dates with her, two going out and two at her place.
We talk a lot, I make her laugh, touch zone is no problem; Can touch in any non sexual place with no negative reaction. Most of the time I can plant a kiss on her cheek. Though I haven't recieved one from her yet.
On the third date I tried to go for a kiss, got rejected but I laughed it off and payed no mind, probably my fault anyways since it wasn't a good place to do it but maybe she just wasn't ready?
Fourth date went swell, got to know more of her childhood and stuff. It was a short date but great, a picnic in a park. Didn't try to kiss her just to not come on too needy incase she was still not comfortable with it. We handholded for the first time, so there was that I guess. I dropped her off, another kiss on her cheek, a giggle from her and here I am.
So, what should I do now? Fifth date be the final chance to get a kiss? Or am I overthinking this and I should just keep going at this pace? Maybe ask her if I can kiss her next time? (I prefer spontaenous but meh)
n64coder
Member
How old are you guys? I wouldn't ask to kiss. At the end of the date when you say goodbyes, just try to plant a nice kiss on the lips. If she averts again, then you could ask her if something is wrong or perhaps she thinks of you as a friend, not as a lover?
- Status