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Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
- Start date
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If you can't do a real kiss (which trust me I understand lol) go for the cheek not the forehead. Are intentional forehead kisses even a thing? ¯_(ツ_/¯
The problem with this is the possible "oh he's going to kiss me" and the disappointment she then gets when you don't. Forehead kiss seems more like a family thing though, so I'd definitely advise against it.
What it always comes down to is confidence. If you're lacking it there's the possibility that she's just going to move on to someone who isn't. Which is my suggestion of either kissing her or not kissing her, as opposed to the fake out of a kiss on the cheek.
ElephantShell
Banned
I had a perfect chance for a kiss at the end of my last date and I didn't take it, I've been kicking myself ever since.
If you feel the vibe is right for a kiss just do it don't even think. I fucking wish I had.
If you can't do a real kiss (which trust me I understand lol) go for the cheek not the forehead. Are intentional forehead kisses even a thing? ¯_(ツ
I don't know it sounded like something cute :/
Heh, i've been running away from kisses and climax moments on dates since forever, even if i'd feel the moment is right, i probably wouldn't be able to do it.
Seriously, i tend to rush the farewells to avoid any kind of tension...
Honestly the best advice I can give you is go out on a lot of dates and build that confidence up. A kiss doesn't mean commitment, not in the slightest. Just go for it and don't think about it.
If you have to, do it on the second date, maybe do drinks on the second date and get yourself more relaxed. Whatever you had to do to relax and stop thinking. Once you get over that hurdle and go out on enough dates you'll get over the anticipation and tension and you'll make the move if it feels right.
Yeah, um, that makes it look like you don't have any interest in them, if you do something like that.
"ohitwasanicetimebye" does not instill confidence in the other party.
This.
Confidence, confidence, confidence.
Yes, being shy can sometimes come off as cute, but if you're asking for advice it's always going to come back to confidence, which isn't something you can just turn on, it's something that comes through experience; life experience, dating experience, etc.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
My second date initiated the kiss first, but it really depends on the girl. Get with the physical touching. Touch her leg, hand, etc, and sit close to her. If she reciprocates, then just just go for it.
If you are at a place where a couch is available, either one of your homes or a cafe or a bar or something, it's easy mode. Just sit closer and closer to her (easy way of doing this is by going to the bathroom and then sitting down really close to her), at some point touch her leg, look at her and go for it. Just a tip if you're having trouble.
Yeah i know, it's just something that comes natural, otherwise i go "ohshitohshitohshit should i kiss her is she expecting me to do something maybe i should bail out ohshitohshitohshit"
Although this girl is really nice, i don't want to screw up
Heh, i actually got a decent amount of those, still never helped in that...
Idk that would feel kinda forced, i'd every movement with the sole intent of eventually kissing her.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Well, I mean, will there be a bar there? How old are the two of you? As you're talking to her, make her smile and laugh. That gets her more comfortable around you. Then as you're talking to her, touch her arm or leg.
If you can't get passed that stage, then I really don't know where that leaves you in confidence. Or just go for it at the end of the night. As soon as my date felt more comfortable around me, that's when I became more physical, and then we have three different sloppy drunk make out sessions.
If you can't get passed that stage, then I really don't know where that leaves you in confidence. Or just go for it at the end of the night. As soon as my date felt more comfortable around me, that's when I became more physical, and then we have three different sloppy drunk make out sessions.
Yes, that would be the goal. Isn't that what you want? It's just one way. If you can come up with another, then go for it. Personally I find having a clear strategy helps when there's something I'm afraid of doing, which you seem to be.
Gotdatmoney
Member
The more you do it the more natural it becomes. You just gotta go in. If they pull away its a so be it.
ok guys here is a strange situation. I goto this public library and I have been going there non stop since August cause I am studying computer science and this library is really convenient for me. But I haven't really said a word to the librarians and there is this one really cute one who likes me. She tried making some advances on me, but i was a bit cold and walked away, I think I hurt her feelings. hmm now I really love this library, if I have a 4.0 GPA right now, its because I study here. But I think I really hurt her feelings pretty badly.
How do I smooth things over? I really like her, but should I really be dating while studying computer science? I think some of the other librarians are spooked out by my behavior
How do I smooth things over? I really like her, but should I really be dating while studying computer science? I think some of the other librarians are spooked out by my behavior
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
spooked out because...you study?
Gonna have to provide a bit more details there.
yea I am on the computer a lot writing code, I have noticed some strange behavior by the librarians, mostly because I am in 100% study mode while at this library. don't really talk to anyone, or say hi or bye. they smiled and tried talking to me and I ignored them so....er
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
i think i dont know why a public library has librarians that are so interested in getting a reaction out of you. are they all old or young or what?
are you sure that the "cute librarian" even actually "likes" you -- just because she smiles at you doesn't mean she has the hots for you. what are these "advances" you are talking about
i will post later, i should get back to studying discrete math
btw in general is it a good idea to date if you are studying something tough like computer science or engineering etc? I also have a part time job where i work 30 hours a week....i heard girls require too much attention etc
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
i guess. just realize you do have to at least spend some time with them...
Gotdatmoney
Member
Forget dating or smoothing things over for a second. If someone (anyone) is nice and tries to talk to you, why the fuck do you treat them like shit? Like you can't do the decency of extending a smile and a small greeting to people you see multiple times a week?
I think you need to advance in basic social skills such as not acting like a snob before you even think of dating . . . Anyone.
And please don't use "I have a heavy school load I do engineering/science" as an excuse for anything related to social interactions. I also did engineering with 30-35 hours of class a week and constant sleepless nights amd managed to have a very healthy social life, do extracirricular activities and maintain good grades. Life is not all studying.
ElephantShell
Banned
If she's cool and actually likes you she should understand that you're busy with work and studies. it is very possible to make relationships work with busy schedules you just have to make sure that the time you are able to spend together is quality time.
Going without any type of dating for 4+ years is a much worse idea. Trust me.
Don't stress so much about your GPA. Your post-graduation code portfolio will pay off a lot more, and since you're likely a Freshman/Sophomore, your code is likely not worth presenting yet.
And take a class on public speaking. Knowing how to talk to people is a rare skill for technical people. You don't know how rare until you've had to listen to dozens of presentations.....
Gotdatmoney
Member
Maybe next time you go there (or if you are there right now) you give a short "hi, I'm here all the time but I have never introduced myself, I'm ssharm". Might be a start
Royal_Phalanx
Member
Don't neglect the dating part of your life. This is literally the best time of your life to do it. It doesn't get any easier after you graduate, in fact, it gets a LOT harder since you can't reliably meet new girls after graduation. I'd say don't worry too much about grades (of course try and do your best), as long as you aren't failing you'll be fine. Experience is number 1. There were tons of people in my class who partied a lot, were really social, and got really good grades too, so it's definitely doable. I seriously regret not having a lot more fun in university and meeting lots more new people. I have done nowhere near enough of that which is why I'm looking at returning next September.
Write a VBA script to automate the affection levels of the female. That way, you can maintain your 4.0 GPA, and the female receives robust code.
Win win.
ZackieChan
Member
Oh my
Life is not an anime/jrpg. Treat others like human beings.
What were these "advances" she was making?
Shush, english is not my first language
ZackieChan
Member
I know.
It's still funny.
Yeah it actually is
Idk how would you call that moment at the end of a date, where both parts are expecting something to happen?
Shuggananas
Banned
Foreplay
ZackieChan
Member
Yeah it actually is
Idk how would you call that moment at the end of a date, where both parts are expecting something to happen?
It ain't the end
Ayy lmao
Your mindset makes me think you're not ready to date, no.
People can date while working and going to school (I've done it, though my major isn't ramping up the difficulty of its courses until the third year), but your mindset and thoughts of 'people need too much attention' and how much you seem to study suggests you don't personally have the time. Or the patience.
Per some women friends, in their eyes that would be worse than not at all.
DivineRage002
Member
I think you hit the nail on the head.
What defines an "interesting person to a girl"? That's what I'm having trouble with.
You're able to talk about stuff that they want to listen to. Means you've done interesting things that you can tell a story about, you're passionate enough about something that it just lights a fire in your speech, you're knowledgeable enough to carry out engaging discussions, or maybe you're just funny.
Were you to talk to a random guy at a bar whom you've never met before, what would you talk about? Besides sports.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Depends on the girl... You shouldn't be playing to what someone else thinks is interesting.
ZackieChan
Member
I would say that part of "working on yourself" is doing interesting stuff. Get yourself some ammo for those first dates and great photos for your profile!
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
The girl I went on a second date with asked me what was the most embarrassing thing to happen to me in public. Conversation kinda dried up, so she asked me that. I told her after class in college, I was talking to my professor. I had to piss really bad, but he just kept talking. I didn't want to be rude, so I let it go, and I had a big stain on a my khaki shorts. I covered my front side with my Jack Bauer Navy bag, and left.
Well, she was the only person I ever told that story to, and now GAF knows.
Well, she was the only person I ever told that story to, and now GAF knows.
Um. I see. Thanks for sharing...?
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
No problem. It wasn't like I leaked all over the floor. It was just big drops all over my shorts, lol.
This.
This is great if she has a peeing fetish. Otherwise, erm.... :/
PSYGN
Member
Lol, wtf. That's like something a little kid would do.
Bruce Springsteen
Member
Number 1 is showing you have a lot of confidence in yourself, this is through body language and voice, don't need to saying anything about your job and money to get that across. Also, interests, hobbies, quirks?
I just came out of a long term relationship myself, and I'm back on the dating scene. Honestly, I am a completely different person now that I see how I interact with women, I don't know if it's for the best of not
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
Maybe he's dating Hana from Prison School?
So to quote myself about you never know whats going to happen I got the "It's not a good time for me line" today. We never meet up again after she came over to my apartment last week because of schedule issues. It was such an odd event I don't know what to think.
She initiated a lot and wanted to have sex, but in her mind you turned her down, so she's moving on to someone else. Keep her number around but don't initiate anything with her and/or mope about her. Seems like a flake that might be fun in small doses (booty call) but is probably a pain in the ass drama queen if you actually try to date her.
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