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[Mr. Jimmy]

Hi GAF, I want some advice I hope I can express myself in this post just exactly the same I feel haha

I've known my girlfriend for about 4 years now, she's 3 years younger than me. Since the first moment we talked in college, the chemistry was there, we felt attached to each other. At that moment, I was at the end of a 3 year relationship and she was in a recently started one. After I broke up the previous relationship, we became very close because she supported me after the breakup and that kind of stuff, it was very hard for me.

Around almost a year later, we could not deny it anymore, we developed feelings for each other. She didn't want to hurt the other guy feelings but knowing all the circumstances, our situation was hurting mine. So I decided to walk away from her. For several months I felt a lot better regarding that but I knew that I wanted to be with her, I tried dating with other girls but it wasn't the same. So after a few months we ran into each other and she told me that she was single because of me. We started going out and it was awesome again! We were so different but our personalities matched perfectly.

After 1 year so so, I was already finishing my degree and also had my first job in a materials laboratory (we are both chemists) so I was incredibly busy, between my last classes, my thesis and my job I was exhausted. 7 am to 10 pm every weekday. I tried my hardest to keep the relationship but I only had time to see her once maybe twice a week. She was going through a rough time as well. We distanced ourselves and honestly I did great in everything I was working at the time, except with her. She felt really bad and wanted to break up. I conviced her that I was going to make up for everything then and I thought I was doing so. We went great for another year, year and a half and suddendly, out of nowhere, she told me she had a difficult time loving me back, because of what happened during our difficult times.

Again I put a lot of effort into the relationship, tried new things, was more considerate, supported her in all ways I could during 2, 3 months. She told me she wanted to love me back but she couldn't so we decided to take a break. We haven't seen each other in over a month, nevertheless we talk everyday but less than before. I really miss her, she has been going out with her female friends and she seems very happy, more than the time she was with me (the last period). Honestly I'm happy for her, I want to see her smile but I seriously won't stand if she starts dating someone else.

The previous relationship ended very similar to this. I had the opportunity to start as a teacher in high school, something that I love. But by doing that, I sacrificed time with my ex gf. Also, we started to grow apart from each other until she decided to break up with me. In less than a month, she was already dating a guy from her class and I felt really bad.

I don't know what to do know, her birthday is in two weeks and I already had plans, but I don't want to put pressure on her, maybe the problem is me but seriously, I have tried to be better she even recognized that.

 

[gwailo]

Both of you had no time off from previous relationships -- you were basically rebounds for each other, and those tend to not work out in the long run.

TBH you probably need time to yourself more than anything else. Go out and get work that you enjoy and build a solid foundation. If you're in a good place, a relationship should naturally happen. You don't always have to be with someone to be complete. Do you typically go right from one relationship to another?

 

[G-Bus]

This is the biggest crutch guys have nowadays. They fail to notice how valuable they are. What ends up happening is that what we bring to the table (wish is plenty when it comes to interacting with a woman), to us, seems to pale in comparison to that woman's beauty. So this girl coming strongly onto you is because you are a good dude (I hope). Realize she didn't just "gift" you her attention out of the kindness of her heart.

Keep being that dude and know that, while there are a lot more #1 Girls out there, there are also plenty of #2 Girls. That's the secret: it's a numbers game. You'll be less surprised as you start interacting with more (#2) women.

I have known girls who've fell head over heels with friends of mine, they'd confide in me (often to find out if the feeling was mutual), and when said friend was in the same room, they'd act with absolutely no sign of particular interest; like friends. It was straight outta the Twilight Zone. So yes, you're lucky Girl #2 is ballsy, but you'd be surprised how many other "#2 Girls" may think the same (right now) but have yet to be approached by you...

Had to chime in about this as its happened to me more than once.

Early twenties. Hung out with a good friend and his fiance a lot. Her best friend was around every now and again. She was crazy for me apparently. I had no idea until the fiance just let it slip one night over drinks that she really liked me. Had known this girl for months BTW.

Took me for a damn loop. There wasn't a single damn hint of anything between us. We were nice to each other but didn't really talk much. It's not like she would stare and smile or try and sit beside me. Absolutely nothing.

 

[Laekon]

She initiated a lot and wanted to have sex, but in her mind you turned her down, so she's moving on to someone else. Keep her number around but don't initiate anything with her and/or mope about her. Seems like a flake that might be fun in small doses (booty call) but is probably a pain in the ass drama queen if you actually try to date her.

It's probably more complicated then that. We didn't have sex cause I asked her if she was comfortable with something and she said she wasn't. I invited her back over 2 more times hoping we would have sex but she never came back over. I'm also over 10 years older then her and applying for grad schools in multiple states. But who knows. I won't contact her again just cause there is no reason to.

 

[waveuponwave]

The girl I went on a second date with asked me what was the most embarrassing thing to happen to me in public. Conversation kinda dried up, so she asked me that. I told her after class in college, I was talking to my professor. I had to piss really bad, but he just kept talking. I didn't want to be rude, so I let it go, and I had a big stain on a my khaki shorts. I covered my front side with my Jack Bauer Navy bag, and left.

Well, she was the only person I ever told that story to, and now GAF knows.

Why the fuck would you tell that story to a date? Seriously?!


I've had a chain of realizations in the last months, you know the "That girl totally hit on you and you didn't notice" kind. I was just awkward and depressed as fuck in the last years, busy in my bubble of "No one will ever be interested in you"... I'm probably projecting on some occasions, but it's still a good change of perspective, my self-confidence has gone up miles

It finally culminated when I realized a gay friend was totally hitting on me for a while. I'm straight and didn't know he was gay at the time when we hung out most, and he's ten years older, went back to college in his thirties. Hanging out with twenty-year olds at that age will always be a bit awkward, but I still thought he had a bit of a weird personal interest in my, I just didn't realize it was more than that.

He even asked if I had a girlfriend, confessed to me he was gay (just in an online chat, and I thought he was coming out generally), invited me to his place for a cup of coffee (not really the phrase you'd use just to hang out)...
I even contacted him again a while ago, thought it sucked we'd lost contact, and he again asked me if I was gay...

Being straight, it just never entered my mind, but I wonder if I've been as oblivious to girls hitting on me in the past...)

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

The girl I went on a second date with asked me what was the most embarrassing thing to happen to me in public. Conversation kinda dried up, so she asked me that. I told her after class in college, I was talking to my professor. I had to piss really bad, but he just kept talking. I didn't want to be rude, so I let it go, and I had a big stain on a my khaki shorts. I covered my front side with my Jack Bauer Navy bag, and left.

Well, she was the only person I ever told that story to, and now GAF knows.

What the hell is wrong with you?

 

[vern]

What the hell is wrong with you?

I don't think it's that bad as long as he is a good storyteller and good at self-deprecating humor. If he told the story like a sad sack piece of shit that pisses himself then yeah, maybe he shouldn't have said anything. If he was funny about it then the girl should find it endearing.

 

[Xun]

I've really got to get better at this whole texting malarkey.

I fucking hate it.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Normally I'd make a thread about this, but with my thread privileges being revoked until some time early next year, this is probably the best place to drop this question:

Do you guys think it's wrong to not want to date someone that has depression, bipolar, or another mental illness/disorder? Is it unfair?

I ask because the last girl I dated had that, and while I'm sympathetic (having two sisters with varying depressive/anxiety disorders), I found it endlessly frustrating and stressful. Maybe I'm the kind of person who gets too wrapped up in other people's problems, I dunno. But after her and dealing with my sisters for the last twenty years (sweet as everyone can be), I have zero interest in dating/marrying someone that has hardcore depression. I feel scummy saying it, but I had to put it out there somewhere. It's just so stressful and nerve-wracking.

 

[SystemBug]

Normally I'd make a thread about this, but with my thread privileges being revoked until some time early next year, this is probably the best place to drop this question:

Do you guys think it's wrong to not want to date someone that has depression, bipolar, or another mental illness/disorder? Is it unfair?

I ask because the last girl I dated had that, and while I'm sympathetic (having two sisters with varying depressive/anxiety disorders), I found it endlessly frustrating and stressful. Maybe I'm the kind of person who gets too wrapped up in other people's problems, I dunno. But after her and dealing with my sisters for the last twenty years (sweet as everyone can be), I have zero interest in dating/marrying someone that has hardcore depression. I feel scummy saying it, but I had to put it out there somewhere. It's just so stressful and nerve-wracking.

You may not want to date them but I do feel as though you should point them to a direction that leads them to get help.

 

[gaiages]

Normally I'd make a thread about this, but with my thread privileges being revoked until some time early next year, this is probably the best place to drop this question:

Do you guys think it's wrong to not want to date someone that has depression, bipolar, or another mental illness/disorder? Is it unfair?

I ask because the last girl I dated had that, and while I'm sympathetic (having two sisters with varying depressive/anxiety disorders), I found it endlessly frustrating and stressful. Maybe I'm the kind of person who gets too wrapped up in other people's problems, I dunno. But after her and dealing with my sisters for the last twenty years (sweet as everyone can be), I have zero interest in dating/marrying someone that has hardcore depression. I feel scummy saying it, but I had to put it out there somewhere. It's just so stressful and nerve-wracking.

Not everyone is equipped to handle someone with mental illness, and that's alright. If you cannot manage with someone that's depressed, bipolar, OCD, whatever, then it's better to break it off than try and deal with it, as the latter will inevitably make things worse. I mean, I know I can't really deal with the majority of it either--My mood tends to reflect those around me, so being around someone that is unhappy makes me equally or worse so, and that's a bad time for everyone involved.

You really shouldn't feel bad about it. Being there to support an SO is important, but it shouldn't be your job to fix them.

You may not want to date them but I do feel as though you should point them to a direction that leads them to get help.

While that is a nice gesture, I doubt the person on the receiving end of such advice would not appreciate getting told to go to a psychiatrist for mental illness from a near-stranger. If you were in an actual relationship with them, then yeah sure, totally, but not in the casual dating sense.

 

[SystemBug]

While that is a nice gesture, I doubt the person on the receiving end of such advice would not appreciate getting told to go to a psychiatrist for mental illness from a near-stranger. If you were in an actual relationship with them, then yeah sure, totally, but not in the casual dating sense.

That's true.

Most people I go to dates are actually people I have been friends with for a while LOL so my experiences are a little bit different

 

[Kieli]

What the hell is wrong with you?

Handsome people can get away with practically anything.

 

[ZackieChan]

It's probably more complicated then that. We didn't have sex cause

Spoiler

I asked her if she was comfortable with something and she said she wasn't.

I invited her back over 2 more times hoping we would have sex but she never came back over. I'm also over 10 years older then her and applying for grad schools in multiple states. But who knows. I won't contact her again just cause there is no reason to.

I can't imagine that this helped your future chances. Generally you don't want to pull out the weird stuff until you know them a bit better...

 

[Armadilo]

anybody use the happn app ? https://www.happn.com seems cool

 

[GK86]

I did for a week or so. Barely got two convos out of it. Browsing the list of people you crossed paths with was a chore.

Not worth the drain on the battery.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

I don't think it's that bad as long as he is a good storyteller and good at self-deprecating humor. If he told the story like a sad sack piece of shit that pisses himself then yeah, maybe he shouldn't have said anything. If he was funny about it then the girl should find it endearing.

I mean, yeah. I told the story in a humerous way. I was smiling and laughing while telling the story. And as I've said, I didn't completely soil myself. Headed to RR afterwards.

If she was turned off by that story, she wouldn't have initiated the kiss at the bar.....oh god, maybe she was turned on by the story!?

 

[M52B28]

Interesting.

Despite being surrounded by many women that can be models, I have no interest in them. Admittedly, they are beautiful, but apart from the attraction that I sometimes have to their bodies, they have no meaning for me.

It may sound wrong to say, but I'm having a hard time understanding it. I find myself taking interest in the women that aren't model status, make up cakers.

Part of me questions if it is simply due to competition. If I am dating a girl who is absolutely stunning, what kind of looks or remarks will I get behind my back? It sort of makes me want to avoid women with large breasts, or nice ass even though I love them.

Whenever I'm out and about, I observe other guys behaviors when I'm with or around one of these girls. They are fairly disrespectful with the looks that they give and the gestures that they make towards them. Also, since I'm not all that amazing looking and black, I get some funky looks wherever they are with me or sitting near me, as if they are my girlfriend or S/O.

It's strange being the guy that likes plain Jane when there are Victorias and Sofias around.

---------

As for dating in general, I've been reluctant. As a person, I have made basic breakthroughs with my looks. I find myself looking in the mirror and saying *I didn't know I looked this good." Compared to a lot of 235lb guys my height, I carry myself well and I have pretty apparent muscle definition. I am more comfortable with talking to women than ever, but I just don't want to deal with the energy that a relationship takes.

I love talking to women, I really do, but I just can't bring myself to care about some and commit to a relationship. It's either that, or I don't meet some girl's standards.

Funny because I usually have girls stumbling over each other to tell me how interesting I am. Maybe it's my confidence? Charisma? Voice? I don't know how I do it.,. And I don't know what's wrong.

Has anyone here had similar feelings or experiences?

 

[ZackieChan]

I mean, yeah. I told the story in a humerous way. I was smiling and laughing while telling the story. And as I've said, I didn't completely soil myself. Headed to RR afterwards.

If she was turned off by that story, she wouldn't have initiated the kiss at the bar.....oh god, maybe she was turned on by the story!?

Spoiler

Or don't - whatever you're into, bro

Interesting.

Despite being surrounded by many women that can be models, I have no interest in them. Admittedly, they are beautiful, but apart from the attraction that I sometimes have to their bodies, they have no meaning for me.

It may sound wrong to say, but I'm having a hard time understanding it. I find myself taking interest in the women that aren't model status, make up cakers.

Part of me questions if it is simply due to competition. If I am dating a girl who is absolutely stunning, what kind of looks or remarks will I get behind my back? It sort of makes me want to avoid women with large breasts, or nice ass even though I love them.

You may win the "overthinking it" prize of 2015! Congrats!

Just go out with hot girls? Or plain ones? Who gives a shit what other people will say? Do what you want!

 

[Xun]

I did for a week or so. Barely got two convos out of it. Browsing the list of people you crossed paths with was a chore.

Not worth the drain on the battery.

This.

Happn is fucking shite and certainly not worth the time.

Speaking of which I still have it installed...

 

[gaiages]

.

Dude, you can be attracted to whomever you want. Who cares? Just date who you find attractive, everyone has a different definition of hot.

 

[Bruce Springsteen]

It may sound wrong to say, but I'm having a hard time understanding it. I find myself taking interest in the women that aren't model status,

Realistically, how many women are truly model status? 1%? It's just not realistic that the average guy is going to end up with a girl who looks like they just walked out of the pages of Vogue. Nothing wrong with that, just the reality


I also don't get why you would care about others talking about you being with an attractive women, sounds like an excuse for yourself

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

Interesting.

Despite being surrounded by many women that can be models, I have no interest in them. Admittedly, they are beautiful, but apart from the attraction that I sometimes have to their bodies, they have no meaning for me.

It may sound wrong to say, but I'm having a hard time understanding it. I find myself taking interest in the women that aren't model status, make up cakers.

Part of me questions if it is simply due to competition. If I am dating a girl who is absolutely stunning, what kind of looks or remarks will I get behind my back? It sort of makes me want to avoid women with large breasts, or nice ass even though I love them.

Whenever I'm out and about, I observe other guys behaviors when I'm with or around one of these girls. They are fairly disrespectful with the looks that they give and the gestures that they make towards them. Also, since I'm not all that amazing looking and black, I get some funky looks wherever they are with me or sitting near me, as if they are my girlfriend or S/O.

It's strange being the guy that likes plain Jane when there are Victorias and Sofias around.

---------

As for dating in general, I've been reluctant. As a person, I have made basic breakthroughs with my looks. I find myself looking in the mirror and saying *I didn't know I looked this good." Compared to a lot of 235lb guys my height, I carry myself well and I have pretty apparent muscle definition. I am more comfortable with talking to women than ever, but I just don't want to deal with the energy that a relationship takes.

I love talking to women, I really do, but I just can't bring myself to care about some and commit to a relationship. It's either that, or I don't meet some girl's standards.

Funny because I usually have girls stumbling over each other to tell me how interesting I am. Maybe it's my confidence? Charisma? Voice? I don't know how I do it.,. And I don't know what's wrong.

Has anyone here had similar feelings or experiences?

Does anyone have different opinions on what they consider hot or beautiful? Yeah, probably pretty much everyone. Why are you forcing yourself to like something? Doesn't make sense at all.

 

[Philippo]

So, about the classmate i had a date with the other day.

I've asked her out again mentioning how i felt good the last time, she said yes but still has to figure out when, sadly we both leave on the 21st and won't get to see each other for a while, hope to see her at least a couple of times otherwise i kinda fear the iron will cool out during that time.

Anyway, yesterday our common friend talked with her, and told me that she finds me cute, liked going out with me and would like to keep seeing me, but apparently she's not currently looking for something serious because she just recently came out of a bad relationship, and it looks like to her i appear like a serious-type-thing-guy.
Even if i am that kind of guy it's not like i have engagement rings in my closet, i'm more than open to any kind of relatioship really, but i think it's kinda stupid this reasoning because she's still going out with me so i guess she's interested but doesn't really know what she wants?

But yeah i shouldn't trust word-of-mouth of this kind of things, i mean there are tons of variables like what she tells to a friend its not necessarily 100% true, or maybe she knew that girl was going to report back to me, maybe if i asked her she would have replied differently etc... I got kinda nervous when i heard that yesterday but mostly because i was half-drunk, but now yeah i should act like i never heard of this.

The only thing i can do is keep trying going out with her which is great and give my best, but i guess at a 2nd date it's well time to "consolidate" things before i fall into a friendzone of some sort...

And we come to my biggest problem... I am seriously scared as fuck of trying to kiss her.
I mean i seriously can't do it. Freak out at the simple thought of doing it.
Hell i can hardly make any flirtatious physical contact that doesn't pass as a friendly move, let alone something like that! I mean as i said before i tend to rush the parting moments because i hate the pressure, you can imagine what goes through my mind in those moments.

And the more i think about how i kinda have to do it, the worse the thing gets...

fakeedit: i know the last part makes little sense but damn i have problems even explaining my anxieties through text lol

 

[Jayof9s]

And we come to my biggest problem... I am seriously scared as fuck of trying to kiss her.
I mean i seriously can't do it. Freak out at the simple thought of doing it.
Hell i can hardly make any flirtatious physical contact that doesn't pass as a friendly move, let alone something like that! I mean as i said before i tend to rush the parting moments because i hate the pressure, you can imagine what goes through my mind in those moments.

And the more i think about how i kinda have to do it, the worse the thing gets...

fakeedit: i know the last part makes little sense but damn i have problems even explaining my anxieties through text lol

Just calm down (super helpful, I know) but seriously, you already know she likes you and thinks you're attractive. There's no reason to be anxious and wondering if she wants you to kiss her. If she goes out with you again, she does.

If you don't kiss her, she's going to start thinking you aren't interested in her. No pressure. Damn, I'm bad at this.

 

[ZackieChan]

Have you kissed a girl before? Once you've put the moves on a few, it becomes not a big deal. Unless, of course, you're putting this girl on a pedestal. Sounds like you are.

Dude, you can be attracted to whomever you want. Who cares? Just date who you find attractive, everyone has a different definition of hot.

I have a sneaking suspicion that none of these models want anything to do with him.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Interesting.

Despite being surrounded by many women that can be models, I have no interest in them. Admittedly, they are beautiful, but apart from the attraction that I sometimes have to their bodies, they have no meaning for me.

It may sound wrong to say, but I'm having a hard time understanding it. I find myself taking interest in the women that aren't model status, make up cakers.

Part of me questions if it is simply due to competition. If I am dating a girl who is absolutely stunning, what kind of looks or remarks will I get behind my back? It sort of makes me want to avoid women with large breasts, or nice ass even though I love them.

Whenever I'm out and about, I observe other guys behaviors when I'm with or around one of these girls. They are fairly disrespectful with the looks that they give and the gestures that they make towards them. Also, since I'm not all that amazing looking and black, I get some funky looks wherever they are with me or sitting near me, as if they are my girlfriend or S/O.

It's strange being the guy that likes plain Jane when there are Victorias and Sofias around.

---------

As for dating in general, I've been reluctant. As a person, I have made basic breakthroughs with my looks. I find myself looking in the mirror and saying *I didn't know I looked this good." Compared to a lot of 235lb guys my height, I carry myself well and I have pretty apparent muscle definition. I am more comfortable with talking to women than ever, but I just don't want to deal with the energy that a relationship takes.

I love talking to women, I really do, but I just can't bring myself to care about some and commit to a relationship. It's either that, or I don't meet some girl's standards.

Funny because I usually have girls stumbling over each other to tell me how interesting I am. Maybe it's my confidence? Charisma? Voice? I don't know how I do it.,. And I don't know what's wrong.

Has anyone here had similar feelings or experiences?

If you haven't been on actual dates with theses "models" I wouldn't assume you can score them whenever you want. Opposed to pondering about what women see in you you could like go on some dates and see?

************

As a side note. These days I have zero idea what constitutes a good looking guy lol. What I have pictured in my head is so very different from what most of my female friends seem to be into haha.

 

[isny]

Interesting.

Despite being surrounded by many women that can be models, I have no interest in them. Admittedly, they are beautiful, but apart from the attraction that I sometimes have to their bodies, they have no meaning for me.

It may sound wrong to say, but I'm having a hard time understanding it. I find myself taking interest in the women that aren't model status, make up cakers.

Part of me questions if it is simply due to competition. If I am dating a girl who is absolutely stunning, what kind of looks or remarks will I get behind my back? It sort of makes me want to avoid women with large breasts, or nice ass even though I love them.

Whenever I'm out and about, I observe other guys behaviors when I'm with or around one of these girls. They are fairly disrespectful with the looks that they give and the gestures that they make towards them. Also, since I'm not all that amazing looking and black, I get some funky looks wherever they are with me or sitting near me, as if they are my girlfriend or S/O.

It's strange being the guy that likes plain Jane when there are Victorias and Sofias around.

---------

As for dating in general, I've been reluctant. As a person, I have made basic breakthroughs with my looks. I find myself looking in the mirror and saying *I didn't know I looked this good." Compared to a lot of 235lb guys my height, I carry myself well and I have pretty apparent muscle definition. I am more comfortable with talking to women than ever, but I just don't want to deal with the energy that a relationship takes.

I love talking to women, I really do, but I just can't bring myself to care about some and commit to a relationship. It's either that, or I don't meet some girl's standards.

Funny because I usually have girls stumbling over each other to tell me how interesting I am. Maybe it's my confidence? Charisma? Voice? I don't know how I do it.,. And I don't know what's wrong.

Has anyone here had similar feelings or experiences?

This was a good read and made me laugh. Thanks.

 

[M52B28]

You may win the "overthinking it" prize of 2015! Congrats!

Just go out with hot girls? Or plain ones? Who gives a shit what other people will say? Do what you want!

Dude, you can be attracted to whomever you want. Who cares? Just date who you find attractive, everyone has a different definition of hot.

Realistically, how many women are truly model status? 1%? It's just not realistic that the average guy is going to end up with a girl who looks like they just walked out of the pages of Vogue. Nothing wrong with that, just the reality


I also don't get why you would care about others talking about you being with an attractive women, sounds like an excuse for yourself

If you haven't been on actual dates with theses "models" I wouldn't assume you can score them whenever you want. Opposed to pondering about what women see in you you could like go on some dates and see?.

This was a good read and made me laugh. Thanks.

^^ You're welcome.

I eventually end up hanging out with some of these girls because my friends photography business. I mainly help her set things up especially when we're doing shoots on the go, and naturally, when we're finished up doing work, we head out to lunch, dinner, whatever. There are a few in particular that I hang around with due to them going to my school.

They attract so much attention. Guys breaking their necks to look at them when they drive by, one instance, some pompous college bros yelled out the car window to tell one of the girls she has a "fat ass." while going to get some lunch.

I mean, I think they are attractive myself, but as said, the attention they end up getting is just absurd. It's like a carcass in a field with vultures coming in to get a look and taste of it.

Not even some of my friends can handle themselves lol. They sometimes ramble about how I should be trying to "get with them" and how "lucky" I am to be around them. They get confused when I say that I'm not exactly interested in dating them as if it should be my dream to. I've gotten stupid comments from my family as well, but my sister found that what I was saying was interesting when I spoke to her about this.

Lol, I've learned how fucking childish some guys can be.

Some of you can laugh at me if you'd like, I'm just sharing an opinion and thought to see if anyone feels this way.

Apparently, no one here really does, which is fine.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

^^ You're welcome.

I eventually end up hanging out with some of these girls because my friends photography business. I mainly help her set things up especially when we're doing shoots on the go, and naturally, when we're finished up doing work, we head out to lunch, dinner, whatever. There are a few in particular that I hang around with due to them going to my school.

They attract so much attention. Guys breaking their necks to look at them when they drive by, one instance, some pompous college bros yelled out the car window to tell one of the girls she has a "fat ass." while going to get some lunch.

I mean, I think they are attractive myself, but as said, the attention they end up getting is just absurd. It's like a carcass in a field with vultures coming in to get a look and taste of it.

Not even some of my friends can handle themselves lol. They sometimes ramble about how I should be trying to "get with them" and how "lucky" I am to be around them. They get confused when I say that I'm not exactly interested in dating them as if it should be my dream to. I've gotten stupid comments from my family as well, but my sister found that what I was saying was interesting when I spoke to her about this.

Lol, I've learned how fucking childish some guys can be.

Some of you can laugh at me if you'd like, I'm just sharing an opinion and thought to see if anyone feels this way.

Apparently, no one here really does, which is fine.

Nothing about my post was even somewhat laughing. Maybe you should go on dates with these people and figure out what it is they like about you. If you are going to refer to the girls you hang out as as models, maybe provide the context of you doint photography so people dont immediately assume you are full of crap.

Yes, men can fucking suck. That is notparticularly new to anyone in the dating. I think we all agree people should keep their shitty comments about women's bodies to themselves.

Anything else?

 

[Kyne]

^^ You're welcome.

I eventually end up hanging out with some of these girls because my friends photography business. I mainly help her set things up especially when we're doing shoots on the go, and naturally, when we're finished up doing work, we head out to lunch, dinner, whatever. There are a few in particular that I hang around with due to them going to my school.

They attract so much attention. Guys breaking their necks to look at them when they drive by, one instance, some pompous college bros yelled out the car window to tell one of the girls she has a "fat ass." while going to get some lunch.

I mean, I think they are attractive myself, but as said, the attention they end up getting is just absurd. It's like a carcass in a field with vultures coming in to get a look and taste of it.

Not even some of my friends can handle themselves lol. They sometimes ramble about how I should be trying to "get with them" and how "lucky" I am to be around them. They get confused when I say that I'm not exactly interested in dating them as if it should be my dream to. I've gotten stupid comments from my family as well, but my sister found that what I was saying was interesting when I spoke to her about this.

Lol, I've learned how fucking childish some guys can be.

Some of you can laugh at me if you'd like, I'm just sharing an opinion and thought to see if anyone feels this way.

Apparently, no one here really does, which is fine.

it's true, some guys can be childish, but your posts have been giving off a "I just found out what it's like to be a male grown up" vibe. Makes you seem a little condescending.

anyways, you're sweating stuff that doesn't matter.

 

[M52B28]

I don't understand. What about my post(s) makes it seem like that? I'm not trying to target anyone in this thread or anything of the likes by the way.

Anyways, I guess you can say it doesn't matter, but I find it pretty annoying.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

I don't understand. What about my post(s) makes it seem like that? I'm not trying to target anyone in this thread or anything of the likes by the way.

Anyways, I guess you can say it doesn't matter, but I find it pretty annoying.

You find men being shitty to women annoying? Cause like I guess the reality is that we can't really help you there. We all find it shitty to?

Otherwise your post comes across as overthinking mixed with I got lots of girls that want me (whih is positive). The first is pretty common for this thread (you got legit advice about that though) the later is more "well I dunno what you need help with if you got mad model girls wanting you".

So I guess, what is it you want advice on?

 

[gaiages]

I don't understand. What about my post(s) makes it seem like that? I'm not trying to target anyone in this thread or anything of the likes by the way.

Anyways, I guess you can say it doesn't matter, but I find it pretty annoying.

I mean I'm honestly kinda confused now. Do you not want to date them because they get a lot of attention for their looks?

 

[Salamando]

I mean I'm honestly kinda confused now. Do you not want to date them because they get a lot of attention for their looks?

I thought the entire second part of his first post meant he wasn't looking to date anyone, at all.

As for dating in general, I've been reluctant. ..... I am more comfortable with talking to women than ever, but I just don't want to deal with the energy that a relationship takes.

I love talking to women, I really do, but I just can't bring myself to care about some and commit to a relationship. It's either that, or I don't meet some girl's standards.

 

[JeTmAn81]

Normally I'd make a thread about this, but with my thread privileges being revoked until some time early next year, this is probably the best place to drop this question:

Do you guys think it's wrong to not want to date someone that has depression, bipolar, or another mental illness/disorder? Is it unfair?

I ask because the last girl I dated had that, and while I'm sympathetic (having two sisters with varying depressive/anxiety disorders), I found it endlessly frustrating and stressful. Maybe I'm the kind of person who gets too wrapped up in other people's problems, I dunno. But after her and dealing with my sisters for the last twenty years (sweet as everyone can be), I have zero interest in dating/marrying someone that has hardcore depression. I feel scummy saying it, but I had to put it out there somewhere. It's just so stressful and nerve-wracking.

As someone who is married to someone with major health issues, I'll say this: don't date/marry someone with major health issues.

 

[Interface23]

Girl i loved in High school and for a couple years after want to start hanging out again, she's still super gorgeous and I'm still insanely attracted to her but I'm not remotely over Canada girl. Do I risk it or do I tell her I can't have any part of it?

 

[M52B28]

I mean I'm honestly kinda confused now. Do you not want to date them because they get a lot of attention for their looks?

I thought the entire second part of his first post meant he wasn't looking to date anyone, at all.

Well yes, I'm not really interested right now. After reading through my post again, I'm really just mentioning the type of girls that I've been gravitating towards liking, and how so many of the girls that I'm around when doing a side job are constantly gawked at due to their above average looks. In that part, I mention my slight insecurity due to that. (ie feeling of competing for someone due to their looks.)

In the second part, I mention that dating takes a good amount of energy, and when in a relationship, it takes a commitment.

I will be honest, the post can be criticized as being gripe-ish, but at this point, I think it would be best to look past any tone that some of you associate with it.

Anyways, at the end, I'm just wondering if anyone has felt this way. (as said, bothered by the amount of attention that someone you're with brings.)

So, as of now, I find myself being interested in mainly a specific type of girl, but as said, I am reluctant to actually date because it takes more energy than I can actually manage to output at this time, especially with school being at critical moments.

Hopefully that explains a bit. If not,then oh well. Some things are better off not.

 

[Xun]

I thought the conversation between me and that girl was going well, but she's not responded since midnight Tuesday. Granted she said to me that she had to get up early for a long shift, but should I assume she's not interested if she doesn't respond?

I'm not sure whether to just leave it or send another message?

If she's playing games it's certainly working since it's all driving me nuts.

 

[GK86]

Message her. It isn't like you are suppose to talk daily.

 

[Krauser Kat]

a girl i had gone on 2 dates with and had sex with twice. Didnt get the take me seriously when i said on the first date that i had been in two monogamous relationships for the past 9 years and was only looking to go on dates and keep things from getting serious for a couple months before i try to find someone to date long term.

Its so strange seeing a reasonable person go kind of crazy in such a short span of time.

Oh well onto the others.

 

[Jayof9s]

a girl i had gone on 2 dates with and had sex with twice. Didnt get the take me seriously when i said on the first date that i had been in two monogamous relationships for the past 9 years and was only looking to go on dates and keep things from getting serious for a couple months before i try to find someone to date long term.

Its so strange seeing a reasonable person go kind of crazy in such a short span of time.

Oh well onto the others.

That's... unfortunate. But at least you were honest up front so she knew what she was getting into, even if she chose to ignore that. You can't really do any more than that.

 

[ZackieChan]

a girl i had gone on 2 dates with and had sex with twice. Didnt get the take me seriously when i said on the first date that i had been in two monogamous relationships for the past 9 years and was only looking to go on dates and keep things from getting serious for a couple months before i try to find someone to date long term.

Its so strange seeing a reasonable person go kind of crazy in such a short span of time.

Oh well onto the others.

I...have no idea what you're saying in this post. Can you explain again?

 

[Jayof9s]

I...have no idea what you're saying in this post. Can you explain again?

It sounds like he went out with a girl twice, told her he wasn't looking for anything serious. They had sex. She got upset that he didn't want anything serious.

 

[gaiages]

I...have no idea what you're saying in this post. Can you explain again?

I *think* he said that he was casually dating, told the person he was dating that he wanted nothing serious, she ignored him and wanted something serious, so it didn't work out?

Not sure exactly what he means by her going crazy or anything though...? It's hard to parse it all out.

 

[Krauser Kat]

I...have no idea what you're saying in this post. Can you explain again?

when we met for the first time. I went over my past dating history given its pretty simple. 2 relationships in the past 9 years pretty much back to back, because of this i am not looking for anything serious. She didnt say anything about that. I end up sleeping with her that night. We go to brunch a day later, i think she is really digging me and when the topic comes up again. Im like i just want to go on dates.

So thats done and i was bored tuesday night, and i had inside out and she wanted to see it so she came over and watched and spent the night.

We end up texting while i am at work the next day and she ask again and i give her the same answer again. and she just goes off on me for like 40 texts about how people should be upfront and our age group (late twenties) is disillusioned with dating and there are support groups for it, because it seems like everyone is wasting everyone elses time. I was like "sorry you thought i was wasting your time, i dont think any time that was fun and enjoyable is wasted, so ill see you around."

tonight im looking forward to though. I havent seen this other girl in a couple weeks and she is into star wars and were going to the local planetarium for a space balls and space/star wars themed event until late. Should be fun.

 

[Max]

We end up texting while i am at work the next day and she ask again and i give her the same answer again. and she just goes off on me for like 40 texts about how people should be upfront and our age group (late twenties) is disillusioned with dating and there are support groups for it, because it seems like everyone is wasting everyone elses time. I was like "sorry you thought i was wasting your time, i dont think any time that was fun and enjoyable is wasted, so ill see you around."

It's weird she said that because you were being upfront

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

I thought the conversation between me and that girl was going well, but she's not responded since midnight Tuesday. Granted she said to me that she had to get up early for a long shift, but should I assume she's not interested if she doesn't respond?

I'm not sure whether to just leave it or send another message?

If she's playing games it's certainly working since it's all driving me nuts.

I'm about to go on a third date (couple date) tomorrow, and this girl never texts me first. The last time we texted was Tuesday.

Don't get clingy like I did after the first date I had with this girl. GAF and even myself knew that was foolish, and don't ask her why she never responds to your texts. I guess some girls are like that.

 

[Jokab]

If you're really concerned about someone's texting habits, it's okay to ask why they it that way. Like there was this girl I dated who only responded around 9pm-10pm, then doing a big batch of messages responding to whatever I had written and then some of her own. Rinse and repeat next day. When I eventually asked her why, it was that she was very busy during the day and doesn't like having her phone up when being around people (which was pretty much all day every day because of her education) because she thought it made herself look distant. She also liked writing long messages which took a while, and there was rarely any downtime like that during the day. Naturally she responded quickly when we were meeting up though.

 

[ZackieChan]

tonight im looking forward to though. I havent seen this girl in a couple weeks and she is into star wars and were going to the local planetarium for a space balls and space/star wars themed event until late. Should be fun.

Same girl? Why are you seeing her again?

Or are you just really bad with pronoun usage?