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[LordAmused]

Yesterday night, I got out for dinner with a girl I haven't seen for atleast a year. We talked for hours while drinking beer and wine and gosh it was good. I guess we used to have feelings for each other before I stupidly left her back in August 2014.

This was our first time together in a long time and sure enough, she doesn't have a BF but a fuckfriend. She told me she doesn't even like him, that he's boring bla bla bla. But he is a hockey player and it's only physical so far between her and him....

I don't know if I should bother with her again...we had a special relationship before August 2014, I'm not sure if it's worth the hassle....

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

havent been in this thread for awhile, because I haven't texted her since. Weekend is almost over and I've been going on with my daily life. Balls in her court now since she said she'll get back to me and figure something out.

Anyway, what does it mean when a girl says she was proposed to twice recently? She brought that up on our last date, and i know she's trying to tell me something.

 

[BananaPancake]

Anyway, what does it mean when a girl says she was proposed to twice recently? She brought that up on our last date, and i know she's trying to tell me something.

I think it means just that, that she was proposed to twice recently. I don't think there's any subtext there. Maybe if these happened in a joking way she was just trying to be funny by telling you.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Yeah, maybe I over analyzed it.

 

[BananaPancake]

Yeah, maybe I over analyzed it.

I do that myself sometimes, wondering was there any subtext in something someone said. That was a pretty random thing for her to say.

 

[ZackieChan]

Yesterday night, I got out for dinner with a girl I haven't seen for atleast a year. We talked for hours while drinking beer and wine and gosh it was good. I guess we used to have feelings for each other before I stupidly left her back in August 2014.

This was our first time together in a long time and sure enough, she doesn't have a BF but a fuckfriend. She told me she doesn't even like him, that he's boring bla bla bla. But he is a hockey player and it's only physical so far between her and him....

I don't know if I should bother with her again...we had a special relationship before August 2014, I'm not sure if it's worth the hassle....

Seems like either she's trying to make you jealous or doesn't care about you in a romantic way. Either way it ain't worth the hassle.

 

[Daria]

This is normal. I always ask what area of town a girl will be coming from and try to select a place that isn't clear across the city. I've never had a problem with it. Sometimes people just get busy and don't respond right away. It's normal.

is it also normal to not hear back from them into the next day either? that's what's going on right now. I'm not going to text her again now, maybe in a couple days to see if she's free at all during the week but whatever I guess

 

[Xun]

Some girls/people just can't deal with ANY silence, and if you're a naturally quiet person you don't wanna deal with them anyway. (not saying this is the case based on what you wrote).

Something might've happened with the guy, or you were imagining it, and I think your behavior after that might have come across as a bit needy and reactive (saying "I like you" probably too soon, etc.), which might have killed it. (Some women will completely cool off at the slightest hint of needy behavior regardless of how well things are going otherwise). She probably used "too quiet" as an excuse after that regardless of how true it was.

Honestly, this is something that should NEVER be done unless you're already in a relationship and want to take it to that next stage. Telling a girl you like her is always a shitty move if you're not already dating her. Here's why:

1. It makes it seem like you're already emotionally invested
2. Places pressure on the girl (nobody likes pressure)
3. Makes things go from casual to serious very quickly

IMO, it should be at the very top of the DON'T FUCKING DO THIS list. The best way to tell a girl you like her? Just ask her out and be flirty. Same shit. Girls aren't stupid, they'll get the message.

In your case, she just didn't like you from the start. She probably reciprocated your touching because she wanted to avoid an awkward situation. FWIW, I am friends with a girl who once dated a guy for weeks because she was too shy to reject him. People succumb to pressure sometimes, it happens.

This particular situation confuses me, however. You've admitted to being shy and the girl in question also called you shy. But you said you flirted with her? I hope your flirting wasn't half-shy-half-confident? That may have been awkward for her. Maybe you can shed some light on the situation?

Here's the other thing. You said you had your hand your arm around her, right? Don't do that. That's not the kind of flirting you want to do, that's shit couples do. You want to go for brief touching and use your eyes to convey interest. You want to have a strong gaze. Very important.

Lastly, a general tip for you. I don't know you personally but I have definitely followed your progress here with great interest. I have a feeling, and please correct me if I'm wrong, that you drink more to compensate for your shyness. Don't hit on girls while drunk. It makes you do dumb things, doesn't help when analyzing body language, and doesn't allow you to become comfortable with girls naturally. You don't want to rely on alcohol. Again, please correct me (and forgive me) if I'm wrong. This is just an assumption of mine.

Let us know what's up!

I really wish I could go back in time and handle this all differently, because to be honest this is all somewhat new to me.

I said I liked her because a few guys I know said I should just tell her that the next time I saw her, even if in retrospect it would've been a lot better to not say it. They thought it would've come across as endearing, but I definitely see where you two are coming from.

She was touchy with me at points as well, and unfortunately I probably handled my side of this badly. I do mostly use my eyes to convey interest, especially since I've been told (whether or not it's true) that I have beautiful eyes.

Unfortunately I do use alcohol to break out of my shyness a lot of the time, but in general I have made a lot of strides to improve my confidence issues. It's still work in progress, but as of now I'm a lot better than I once was. Work has also helped me tremendously in improving as well.

Based on what her friend told my mate she did like me at least at one point, I just wasn't forward enough which made her assume I wasn't interested. Her friend also gave some kind words to me after this all happened the other night, and told me the girl in question can not only be hard to read but also doesn't entirely know what she wants.

I'm hoping things won't be too awkward between us, especially since we'll be seeing each other a lot more from now on... It would be good to remain friends if possible at the very least.

 

[ZackieChan]

You're going to make a ton of mistakes and things aren't going to work out. That's normal!

 

[peanutbutterlatte]

Been talking to girls for a while and nothings happening. Think I'm too desperate for something to happen to be honest, just going to ignore dating for a while and focus on being happy alone.

Still, I mean, something good happening would be nice. I don't think I'm hideous or unlikable. Ah well :/

 

[gaiages]

texted the Tinder girl earlier and ended up getting a "[..] yeah! that would be fun" to lunch sometimes and then it hit a wall. I'm guessing my pushy response of asking where about she stays and that I'll find a place if she doesn't have a favorite is what drove to the no response.

though I could give it overnight but it's weird when 2-5 minute reply times turn into hours with some topics .?.

If you were just asking for her neighborhood, and not like her actual address, then that wasn't a bad move.

Sounds like she suddenly got cold feet with meeting up. Time for the next one~

 

[Assanova]

is it also normal to not hear back from them into the next day either? that's what's going on right now. I'm not going to text her again now, maybe in a couple days to see if she's free at all during the week but whatever I guess

Realistic scenario? Another guy has entered the picture. Best case scenario? Another guy has entered the picture and she isn't responding until she figures out what's going on with him. If it's the latter, she will eventually hit you with the "I was sick" or "having family issues" line.

 

[vern]

Ugh I just got duped by a girl on Tinder. It feels shitty man.

Story?

 

[Coda]

Story?

Just was a girl I recognized from modeling and started talking to her but she ended up being a scam artist and not really the person being advertised. Luckily I found out in time but it still was shitty and whoever was doing the catfishing was pretty good at it at first, it was convincing. I was sort of drunk so my perception wasn't on its A game to realize.

 

[bluethree]

Realistic scenario? Another guy has entered the picture. Best case scenario? Another guy has entered the picture and she isn't responding until she figures out what's going on with him. If it's the latter, she will eventually hit you with the "I was sick" or "having family issues" line.

something very similar happened to me with an online date. she stopped replying, i give it a few days and text her again, and even though we end up meeting it was very clear she had another date afterwards ("I have work later at 8!" - she's a school teacher and it was a Sunday night so clearly bs). Ended up being a waste of time.

 

[Ric Flair]

Realistic scenario? Another guy has entered the picture. Best case scenario? Another guy has entered the picture and she isn't responding until she figures out what's going on with him. If it's the latter, she will eventually hit you with the "I was sick" or "having family issues" line.

Either way if someone stops responding to me for a whole day I'd drop it. You've got to value yourself enough to know you deserve better than that. It takes all of two seconds to give a short response, if she doesn't value you enough to do that then she isn't worth your time

 

[Deleted member 10571]

Just was a girl I recognized from modeling and started talking to her but she ended up being a scam artist and not really the person being advertised. Luckily I found out in time but it still was shitty and whoever was doing the catfishing was pretty good at it at first, it was convincing. I was sort of drunk so my perception wasn't on its A game to realize.

Huh, that sounds crazy. Did the guy use the pic on purpose, because he somehow knew you'd know her face? Or was it complete chance?
I feel I quit the Tinder game just in time lol, never heard of these things.

 

[bluethree]

Either way if someone stops responding to me for a whole day I'd drop it. You've got to value yourself enough to know you deserve better than that. It takes all of two seconds to give a short response, if she doesn't value you enough to do that then she isn't worth your time

and even if she gets back to you, it's a clear sign that you're her plan b - why would you ever want to put yourself in that position?

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Another flake. Starting to get forever alone vibes at this point, never thought I'd say that outside of a joke. Feels pretty bad man. There must be a problem with me.

 

[dralla]

I went on a Tinder date yesterday. Texting with her was great but you always go in with some uncertainty since in person is so much different. Luckily it went really well. As soon we greeted each other for the first time I knew it was gonna go well. Her body language was easy to read and we knew we were into each other. We went out for drinks, she came back to my place for Amazon Prime and chill. I made sure to kiss her at the bar so we could get to the good stuff as soon as we got back to my place. She was actually more attractive in person which doesn't happen very often. Gonna see her again next week of course. yay

Another flake. Starting to get forever alone vibes at this point, never thought I'd say that outside of a joke. Feels pretty bad man. There must be a problem with me.

Yea, that's a real bummer. I've had three people flake the past three weekends. Not much you can do except move on. It's really nothing to do with you, it's them. You can't take it personal

 

[Daria]

If you were just asking for her neighborhood, and not like her actual address, then that wasn't a bad move.

Sounds like she suddenly got cold feet with meeting up. Time for the next one~

I said "but where about do you live?" in which I was just asking for her city but she could've read it as something else. and the only reason I kept it all in one text was due to people saying keep texts to just the minimal, use it to set up a date.

She also could've thought i was just pulling her along with responding late to her (maybe she's needy, ha).

Realistic scenario? Another guy has entered the picture. Best case scenario? Another guy has entered the picture and she isn't responding until she figures out what's going on with him. If it's the latter, she will eventually hit you with the "I was sick" or "having family issues" line.

I've just assumed someone else has stepped in and I'm put on the back burner for now. That's why I thought maybe I'll let it ride for right now, maybe shoot out a text in a few days asking if she's still down to get lunch. If nothing happens before breaks over, I'll gladly take the L and move on from it. It's just confusing when they'll reply within minutes for a hour long conversation, say yes to your date invitation and then not reply after.

and even if she gets back to you, it's a clear sign that you're her plan b - why would you ever want to put yourself in that position?

well I think I understand why they stop replying now. I probably should value myself more and not settle as someones secondary.

 

[Assanova]

I said "but where about do you live?" in which I was just asking for her city but she could've read it as something else. and the only reason I kept it all in one text was due to people saying keep texts to just the minimal, use it to set up a date.

She also could've thought i was just pulling her along with responding late to her (maybe she's needy, ha).



I've just assumed someone else has stepped in and I'm put on the back burner for now. That's why I thought maybe I'll let it ride for right now, maybe shoot out a text in a few days asking if she's still down to get lunch. If nothing happens before breaks over, I'll gladly take the L and move on from it. It's just confusing when they'll reply within minutes for a hour long conversation, say yes to your date invitation and then not reply after.



well I think I understand why they stop replying now. I probably should value myself more and not settle as someones secondary.

You're not getting it, are you? By texting her again, you are being needy. This is not attractive, at all. I know you're talking about taking your L and moving on after you text her again, but that's not the point. It's about getting out of your needy mindset, not about eventually taking the L.

 

[Daria]

You're not getting it, are you? By texting her again, you are being needy. This is not attractive, at all. I know you're talking about taking your L and moving on after you text her again, but that's not the point. It's about getting out of your needy mindset, not about eventually taking the L.

it took me a few posts in here and a couple people getting annoyed to get the point across, but I think I get it now. In all honesty, 75% of the failures I get are probably caused by my needy mindset and not the women.

so, moving on from this point, I just let everyone be if they don't reply.

Spoiler

and let them come back to me.

find someone who values my time enough to respond to my texts and is able to handle a date. i'm on the right track, right?

 

[Coda]

Huh, that sounds crazy. Did the guy use the pic on purpose, because he somehow knew you'd know her face? Or was it complete chance?
I feel I quit the Tinder game just in time lol, never heard of these things.

Yeah it was clearly a very meticulous effort to get personal information, etc. I reported the user after all of it. Tinder has got to be the worst of them all IMO, the odds are just stacked against you. I'm luckily meeting a lady tonight from okcupid to go see Star Wars so hopefully I'll finally have some fun/luck tonight.

 

[Royal_Phalanx]

Another day, another failure. Reddit meetup girl didn't reply (she didn't reply the first time I texted her soon after I met her either, so...) which is really frustrating because I thought we were getting along really well during the actual meetup (she was making physical contact, smiling, leading me places and trying to get me involved in general). I don't understand this. At all. It makes no logical sense. Whatever, on to the next one I guess. As much as I think 'foreveralone' communities like /r/foreveralone are pathetic and extremely toxic overall, I feel like one of their residents right now, honestly.

 

[Coda]

Another day, another failure. Reddit meetup girl didn't reply (she didn't reply the first time I texted her soon after I met her either, so...) which is really frustrating because I thought we were getting along really well during the actual meetup (she was making physical contact, smiling, leading me places and trying to get me involved in general). I don't understand this. At all. It makes no logical sense. Whatever, on to the next one I guess. As much as I think 'foreveralone' communities like /r/foreveralone are pathetic and extremely toxic overall, I feel like one of their residents right now, honestly.

It's all part of the process, best thing you can do is keep meeting people. Usually love and connections strike when you least expecting them to.

 

[Solideliquid]

So I’ve been dating this girl since October, she is a computer engineer, she is 34 and I am 35. She was born in the states but she’s from an Indian background. I enjoy dating her, we have a lot of fun, we have a lot in common, and we seem to really click. She has some strange hangups though. For example, her culture frowns on having relations with others unless married, and there a lot of arranged marriages in her culture. Her parents had an arranged marriage for example, and constantly put her down for seeing me, and staying out late with me. I have not yet met her parents however. But when she stays over at my place past 11pm, her mother starts texting and calling and tells her to come home. When she does go home she is met with dirty looks and negative comments about “nice girls don’t stay out that late, etc”. Her parents are verbally abusive toward her I feel, and recently her father shoved her during an argument.

Her parents were born in India and she has been living with them for about 4 years. She was in a relationship for 8 years, and it fell apart about 4 years ago and and she moved back in with her parents. Apparently the guy developed some substance abuse and mental illness close to their wedding date, as they were engaged. I feel like her father doesn’t care what she does and she barely speaks to him, but her mother has a pathological dependent relationship with her. My girlfriend feels really bad when her mother treats her this way, but does not seem able to speak to her mother about her behavior toward her.

I have been asking her to stay over, and she feels the fallout from her mom would be too much drama and stress and feels she can’t spend the night. Her parents live about 10 minutes away from my house. She also has very strange thoughts about sex, because she feels judged after a lifetime of being told she needs to be married before she can be with a man.

All together it’s getting very very tiring and I have been very patient with her, because I like her and I’ve connected with her in a way I rarely do with others. I’ve asked her to talk to her mom about letting her live her life and I’ve even told her she’s more than welcome to come and stay here with me for a few days or longer if things get really bad at home. Even so, she refuses to have a talk to with mom or make a decision to just ignore what her mother wants.

She often talks about wanting to get married *at some point* and I remind her that you can't just skip an important step like living with someone for a while before getting engaged (in my view), and you can't really start living with someone when you get into a huge fight with your family for spending a night or two. Heck, I want to take her to a nice resort for new years and it seems like that's not going to happen because she can't stay away from home for the night.

 

[Llyranor]

She often talks about wanting to get married *at some point* and I remind her that you can't just skip an important step like living with someone for a while before getting engaged (in my view), and you can't really start living with someone when you get into a huge fight with your family for spending a night or two. Heck, I want to take her to a nice resort for new years and it seems like that's not going to happen because she can't stay away from home for the night.

This relationship may eventually hit an impasse (or already has). You should stick to your guns (I completely agree that living together is a crucial step before marriage). I think the most realistic solution (other than breaking it off or her disowning her family) is you eventually meeting the family and trying to win them over by just being a decent guy. If they see that you're not just using her or whatever their perception is, maybe they'll ease down. If the parents remain completely unreasonable, she will have to eventually stand up for herself regarding her own adult relationship, or it will end in a break-up. You probably have to be a bit patient if you want to make this work.

Good luck and keep us updated!

 

[BravesCountry]

So I've been starting to see this girl about a little over a month ago, we went out on one date and ended up spending the next 3 nights together in a row and she slept over 2 of those nights, then she went on a trip for a week. We texted pretty much every day, some nights for hours on end, but towards the end of that trip the texting started to slow down.

When she got back, we had to slow things down a bit since we both had our respective finals in our school but we made time to hang out and went to a movie together and she slept over, then a week later right before she had to leave we had dinner and a small theatre show and she slept over that night too, so we have spent about 5 or 6 nights together in total over the course of the month during a time where she had a week long trip and we both were busy with finals. The in person moments are great, there is a definitely a strong connection and she acts very much like a couple when we are together. she is back in her home country for the next month and the time difference is putting a strain on communication. I just have no idea how she views what we are because she is three years younger and in undergrad and I don't know how seriously she is taking it even if it seems like its going well, and on top of that I generally would consider her a bad texter so far despite that week of strong communication (I wont get too into it but there have been a couple of instances where she definitely waited way too long day of to text about plans and keeping me updated where I felt that it was unintentionally rude but again I felt like its too early to start complaining about anything, we are just getting to know each other).

I'm worried that this huge gap in time is going to ruin the momentum we have going, so I want to keep in touch but I also don't want to be too overbearing. I also feel like its too early to ask what she thinks this is between us yet, but there is this huge gap in time that is putting a sort of freeze on everything at a very uncertain time of relationship forming. Any advice on how to keep things going this next month until we see each other again? We had a long conversation recently but I haven't heard from her after my last text in 2 days and thinking about just letting that be until she reaches out since I dont want it to feel like we have to talk every day. Other possibility would be to wish her safe travels and a great trip since she is flying to Kenya tomorrow, or just wait till new years to say something if she hasn't reached out by then.

 

[stn]

So I’ve been dating this girl since October

Are you Indian? If no, you'll probably have a lot of difficulty with this one no matter what. Sorry man, wish I could offer better advice.

 

[Royal_Phalanx]

Are you Indian? If no, you'll probably have a lot of difficulty with this one no matter what. Sorry man, wish I could offer better advice.

I remember trying to date an attractive Sri Lankan chick when I was in high school. She was German but her parents were really conservative when it came to dating guys. Didn't end up going out with her, obviously. The cultural differences are really hard to get past when trying to date South Asian women, I'm sorry to say Hope it goes well for you Solideliquid.

 

[Exploding8]

Alrighty, haven't been in this thread in a while since I've been too busy for the whole dating scene, but I need some advice.

So I visited a couple good friends I hadn't seen in a while around three weeks ago, and one's girlfriend brought a friend of hers with us. We all met at a restaurant and I sat next to my friends, which put me in a position where I couldn't talk to the new girl much. Later we all went to a bar for a bit and then to one of their houses and just chilled. From the little I learned about her she seems like a good person, she's definitely single, and she generally seems like my type, but there was never really a good time for us to get to know each other.

I never got her number, but I added her and a couple other of my friend's friends that I met there on facebook. Fast forward to this week, I'm away from university on break, and I noticed she just made an account on OKC. So now I definitely think I should ask her out, since we're both looking and such. I'm worried about waiting until I get back to campus though since online dating works fast, and I think she lives on campus.

I'm fairly sure I shouldn't strike up a conversation on OKC (unless she visits my profile, which would make things easier since I could just joke about how this is kinda awkward ). So I guess my best bet is Facebook. Would it be weird to send her a message asking how her break's going if she isn't online? Should I wait around on facebook until she hops online? Or maybe I'm wrong and using OKC could actually work?

I'm probably overthinking things. I tend to do that >.<

 

[GK86]

Why in the world would that be weird?

 

[Exploding8]

Why in the world would that be weird?

Idk. I guess since we only talked directly a little bit when we met and a couple times the rest of the night, I figure it might be strange to message her out of the blue a few weeks later. It seems silly to worry about that now that I'm writing it down though haha. Guess I'll message her tomorrow!

 

[Solideliquid]

Are you Indian? If no, you'll probably have a lot of difficulty with this one no matter what. Sorry man, wish I could offer better advice.

I'm from the Middle East but grew up in the states since a young age. She was born here in the US also. I think the main issue is she lives with her parents and is caught between her mother being very controlling and judgmental, and wanting to love her life along the lines of accepted American culture. Her parents don't see it that way.

 

[Reckoner]

I was confused for minute there. So you never go her number?

If so, then that's good. She came to you so you could lay out the logistics for her. I'm actually willing to bet she knew you were already aware of the information she went to deliver to you. However, you were in work mode and didn't get the hint.

This is good though. This means she tried--in her own pedestrian way--to plan this out. Her taking interest in arranging this thing, means she's hopeful about the encounter, all which is positive.

It's funny, even when she has agreed to go out with you, she still won't make the first move to plan the date; she still needs you to make the move! Guys often fail because they are never sure whether they should, and all most girls want is for you to do it already.

So get her number on Monday. When you talk/text, keep it light & short. Focus on the logistics of the date: when, how and where. Also, do NOT apologize for not making it happen on Sunday. Try to schedule it as soon as possible.

Nope. And today I didn't get it either because my boss changed my shift for early morning and she's coming later at closure. I hope tomorrow isn't her day off, like it was last week.

I'm afraid I'm being too passive, but I don't want to rush anything and get out of my way because of this. I already learned from a past mistake, but sometimes I worry if I let it get too much into me.

 

[Krauser Kat]

by the time New years day rolls around... i have been on a date every day since Christmas Day. I am already tired, lol. Thankfully one of them is at my house and im just making dinner.

 

[Royal_Phalanx]

by the time New years day rolls around... i have been on a date every day since Christmas Day. I am already tired, lol. Thankfully one of them is at my house and im just making dinner.

Bow chicka wow wow

 

[Kyne]

Alrighty, haven't been in this thread in a while since I've been too busy for the whole dating scene, but I need some advice.

So I visited a couple good friends I hadn't seen in a while around three weeks ago, and one's girlfriend brought a friend of hers with us. We all met at a restaurant and I sat next to my friends, which put me in a position where I couldn't talk to the new girl much. Later we all went to a bar for a bit and then to one of their houses and just chilled. From the little I learned about her she seems like a good person, she's definitely single, and she generally seems like my type, but there was never really a good time for us to get to know each other.

I never got her number, but I added her and a couple other of my friend's friends that I met there on facebook. Fast forward to this week, I'm away from university on break, and I noticed she just made an account on OKC. So now I definitely think I should ask her out, since we're both looking and such. I'm worried about waiting until I get back to campus though since online dating works fast, and I think she lives on campus.

I'm fairly sure I shouldn't strike up a conversation on OKC (unless she visits my profile, which would make things easier since I could just joke about how this is kinda awkward ). So I guess my best bet is Facebook. Would it be weird to send her a message asking how her break's going if she isn't online? Should I wait around on facebook until she hops online? Or maybe I'm wrong and using OKC could actually work?

I'm probably overthinking things. I tend to do that >.<

it's been about a day since this post so you can guarantee she's at least received 30+ messages.

act now, and fast.

 

[peanutbutterlatte]

I'm thinking there's too many factors to online dating to make it succesful. Like, how your profile look, how your pictures look, how you open your messages, revealing too much of yourself through your questions (you might casually say you might consider sleeping with someone on a first date, but a girl might interpret that as sleazy). It's just too much, and I'm having zero success with it :\

Every time I get in contact with a girl who looks semi-attractive I'm either ignored or get a very cold/disinterested response.

AAAAAH.

 

[Kyne]

I'm thinking there's too many factors to online dating to make it succesful. Like, how your profile look, how your pictures look, how you open your messages, revealing too much of yourself through your questions (you might casually say you might consider sleeping with someone on a first date, but a girl might interpret that as sleazy). It's just too much, and I'm having zero success with it :\

Every time I get in contact with a girl who looks semi-attractive I'm either ignored or get a very cold/disinterested response.

AAAAAH.

you're absolutely right. I spent 3 months of research trying to determine the perfect way to make a profile.

the punchline?

the first (and only) girl I messaged happened to be someone who didn't really care for profiles. The only reason I got her to go out with me was through our message exchanges.

Spoiler

we're still dating over a year and a half later.

 

[Assanova]

I'm thinking there's too many factors to online dating to make it succesful. Like, how your profile look, how your pictures look, how you open your messages, revealing too much of yourself through your questions (you might casually say you might consider sleeping with someone on a first date, but a girl might interpret that as sleazy). It's just too much, and I'm having zero success with it :

Every time I get in contact with a girl who looks semi-attractive I'm either ignored or get a very cold/disinterested response.

AAAAAH.

It's actually fairly easy. Once you get really good profile pictures, nothing else really matters outside of using common sense.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Just wanna throw it out there for everyone waffling over how or when to message, its acceptable to message a person you recently met on fb, text or otherwise. Like, when else will you message them. If you have a recent number why the fuck are you not going to text it immediately? If you think messaging someone you met 2 days ago is weird its def gon be fucking weird if you do it a month from now lol.

To anyone who thinks this is obvious, yeah it should be but apparently its not. If you feel like you're bothering the person you really shouldn't worry. Maybe you are maybe you aren't, you wont really know until you do it. I have a female friend who I talk mad sports with but that wouldnt of happened if I didnt like actually message her.

 

[jasonng]

Just wanna throw it out there for everyone waffling over how or when to message, its acceptable to message a person you recently met on fb, text or otherwise. Like, when else will you message them. If you have a recent number why the fuck are you not going to text it immediately? If you think messaging someone you met 2 days ago is weird its def gon be fucking weird if you do it a month from now lol.

To anyone who thinks this is obvious, yeah it should be but apparently its not. If you feel like you're bothering the person you really shouldn't worry. Maybe you are maybe you aren't, you wont really know until you do it. I have a female friend who I talk mad sports with but that wouldnt of happened if I didnt like actually message her.

I think this practice stems before the age of texting. Apparently there was a stigma where you can come off as needy if you call them right away. I never liked doing it because waiting to call would make me more nervous than I really needed to be.

Nowadays people don't have to respond to texts immediately so there's less of that stigma.

But I agree. Don't wait to call. I find that girls are more likely to reach back the sooner you reach them.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

I think this practice stems before the age of texting. Apparently there was a stigma where you can come off as needy if you call them right away. I never liked doing it because waiting to call would make me more nervous than I really needed to be.

Nowadays people don't have to respond to texts immediately so there's less of that stigma.

But I agree. Don't wait to call. I find that girls are more likely to reach back the sooner you reach them.

Maybe that is it. But there is a lot of people that in this modern age are afraid to message. Like why?

I feel like its one of two things both equally lame. The first is not wanting to be rejected which is like stupid.If you.can't handle rejection you cant handle dating . The second is this whole "I dont wanna bug him/her"shit which is like, so not attractive. In this digital age if someone doesnt wanna talk to you they will make it plainly obvious WHEN THEY IGNORE YOUR ASS. So who are you pressuring? A fb message or a text is like the most chill form of showing interest ever available. How are we still gon sit here and play this oh I dont wanna bug then shit?

I just wanna yell at people sometimes

 

[dskillzhtown]

I'm thinking there's too many factors to online dating to make it succesful. Like, how your profile look, how your pictures look, how you open your messages, revealing too much of yourself through your questions (you might casually say you might consider sleeping with someone on a first date, but a girl might interpret that as sleazy). It's just too much, and I'm having zero success with it :\

Every time I get in contact with a girl who looks semi-attractive I'm either ignored or get a very cold/disinterested response.

AAAAAH.

It's definitely not for everyone. I use online dating sites/apps, but not as my primary way of meeting people. It seems like such a game when it should be really natural. The last few women I have met online have been really great at the online part, but really poor in communication face to face. But that is just my experience. I know others have had more success.

 

[ZackieChan]

Maybe that is it. But there is a lot of people that in this modern age are afraid to message. Like why?

I feel like its one of two things both equally lame. The first is not wanting to be rejected which is like stupid.If you.can't handle rejection you cant handle dating . The second is this whole "I dont wanna bug him/her"shit which is like, so not attractive. In this digital age if someone doesnt wanna talk to you they will make it plainly obvious WHEN THEY IGNORE YOUR ASS. So who are you pressuring? A fb message or a text is like the most chill form of showing interest ever available. How are we still gon sit here and play this oh I dont wanna bug then shit?

I just wanna yell at people sometimes

And there's the overarching point that if you send a message at the "wrong" time and it ruins everything, they didn't want to hang out with you anyway. Do you really want to manipulate someone into meeting you only because of perfectly-timed messages?

 

[Gotdatmoney]

And there's the overarching point that if you send a message at the "wrong" time and it ruins everything, they didn't want to hang out with you anyway. Do you really want to manipulate someone into meeting you only because of perfectly-timed messages?

Lol true, this too. Text games are the worst games. My only rule about texting anyone are "I don't wanna be the only one to ever start a conversation". I'd rather not talk than be the only one talking.

 

[ZackieChan]

Lol true, this too. Text games are the worst games. My only rule about texting anyone are "I don't wanna be the only one to ever start a conversation". I'd rather not talk than be the only one talking.

I just let them text me, unless I'm feeling extra thirsty that day. Usually there's 5-6 going on at once, so I ain't got time for initiating everything and there's always SOMEONE texting.

 

[Daria]

matched with this chick, made up a poem about one of her pictures, she replies with the "hahahahaha" *heart emoji* and then I asked for her number.

I set my phone down and am continuing on with whatever I was doing. feels nice to not worry about if I'll actually get a reply or not because I can just go text somebody else in the meantime.

now that i think about it, lol, that was probably a bad move on my part to do so quickly.