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[Daria]

meeting up with another match in a hour or so for food/drink, neither of us have picked a place yet. any advice on that? but then I know of a few kickbacks she said she might be interested in going to. I'm trying, gaf.

 

[gwailo]

You're going out on NYE without a place picked?

Kind of a bad move. Even Olive Garden takes reservations today. And if you get in somewhere it's going to be so loud and packed, it makes the idea of a date moot. Plus you'll probably pay an arm and a leg for dinner/drinks.

Invite her to your place and say you'll cook if she brings wine/champagne.

 

[Faabulous]

Well, I think its self explanatory. Dating or getting into a relationship at the place you work is a delicate game. I've found (and read) that relationships that do work, are when couples work in completely separate departments. It's hard to work with someone and then go home with them, all day every day. When you are at home, you may talk about work, and when you are at work you may talk about home. You know so much about each other in so little time, it feels you've been married for decades when you're not even there yet. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all.

So if you don't work directly together, you can make it work. I guess I'm just the kind of guy that doesn't mix business with pleasure. I like to keep my perosnal life separate from my career. If you are one of the few ones that can make it work, then much luck to you. To the uninitiated, however, I would not advise it.

You might be right bud. You might just be right. But what the hell.

We don't work at the same department, we don't even have the same shift, and I didn't tell the whole story, It's not a real job, it's and internship (I need it to graduate it's somehow mandatory here in Brazil, even if you're going down the academic path, I'm lined up for a masters after this), so while I really like working there it's not really career building. And fuck me, I'm dumb, even if/when it all goes to shit at least I enjoyed it while it lasted.

She is nice and really good in bed, so I'd rather be with her than anyone else right now, so I'll freaking bite.
In two months, when it all goes to hell, I'll come here crying and you can tell me "I told you mate".

You are a fucking idiot don't drink and drive

ALSO THIS ^^

 

[Daria]

You're going out on NYE without a place picked?

Kind of a bad move. Even Olive Garden takes reservations today. And if you get in somewhere it's going to be so loud and packed, it makes the idea of a date moot. Plus you'll probably pay an arm and a leg for dinner/drinks.

Invite her to your place and say you'll cook if she brings wine/champagne.

I live in a small city (35k population), there are a few local bars that won't be overly packed. I just started talking to her the day before yesterday so it's short notice.

the plan is get some food and/or a drink and then head over to one of my buddies house party. she's lives 15 mins in the other city and the cabs are free tonight. I'll have cash on me for a tip to get where we need to later on.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Heh. As I've said the last girl I blew it with where I became too emotionally invested was back in 2010, now she's a model. I always start out right and end up blowing it. Thankfully it's a rare occasion and doesn't happen with the women I casually date.

I don't have many friends, and so ill be spending New Year's Eve alone since these two friends are leaving out of state early in the morning and a couple I know are gong to their neighbors.

 

[Coda]

Well it's my birthday guys haha. One year away from 30...

Hope everyone's 2015 dating adventures end well this year or maybe start anew with greater stories and truths for the new year.

Thanks to everyone who has given advice here on this board and who I also hopefully helped with my previous knowledge.

 

[Interface23]

Set up a second date for sushi and drinks. Would love to do physical stuff but I can't because of my disability and the fact that I need surgery on my leg soon.

Hopefully this goes well so after I get surgery we can do fun stuff

Just gotta get it out of my head that she's my friend and get it in my head she's a potential girlfriend

 

[ZackieChan]

Heh. As I've said the last girl I blew it with where I became too emotionally invested was back in 2010, now she's a model. I always start out right and end up blowing it. Thankfully it's a rare occasion and doesn't happen with the women I casually date.

I don't have many friends, and so ill be spending New Year's Eve alone since these two friends are leaving out of state early in the morning and a couple I know are gong to their neighbors.

I'm not sure if being alone is better than going out with my sister and her boyfriend, but have a great night. Don't be sad - you're on the cusp of a whole new year with new possibilities. Maybe we can figure out a way for you to get a new job or start your own business. Come travel with me in Thailand, it's cheap!

Well it's my birthday guys haha. One year away from 30...

Hope everyone's 2015 dating adventures end well this year or maybe start anew with greater stories and truths for the new year.

Thanks to everyone who has given advice here on this board and who I also hopefully helped with my previous knowledge.

Happy New Year, and Happy Birthday! I'm 37 and having the time of my life. Don't worry!

 

[Deleted member 10571]

Well it's my birthday guys haha. One year away from 30...

Happy Birthday! Just keep in mind you'll always be younger than me :3

 

[gaiages]

That is naive. No one takes half a year to get over a simple breakup. What takes time is finding the right guy to open yourself up to. In other words, it's not that she needs time to heal, but that she needs time find the guy that both is and isn't what the last guy was.

I know a girl whose husband died in Iraq, and 4 months later got into a relationship with some guy. She said she fell in love. Would you say that's enough? Or you wouldn't? Either way, people love to celebrate the power and irrationality of love, but we somehow impose (or not) these arbitrary statutes of limitations. Who are we to judge? It's all about right person, right place, right time; OP isn't and wasn't in any of them.

So, I can certainly understand if it takes some time to get close to (the right) someone again, but this girl has already had sex with OP. Her "not ready for a relationship" is code for "not ready for a relationship with YOU". She's ready to let him slide his penis into her vagina, but not ready to make it an exclusive thing? Oh boy.

What are you talking about? Break-ups are an emotional thing and affect everyone in different ways. Anecdotal evidence of your friends isn't going to change that. I feel like you look at everything in such a sterile, logical view that you forget that things like dating are emotional subjects, and there's no one size fits all answer to everything.

Whether or not this girl was using the 'I'm not ready for a relationship' as an excuse or not isn't really what I'm arguing here, I'm arguing that generally, people need time to recover from relationships, and the amount of time depends on the person, their past relationship, and a number of other things.

I feel physically suffocated by this thread lately.

I feel... emotionally charged from these threads lately ;D (in a bad way)

Heh. As I've said the last girl I blew it with where I became too emotionally invested was back in 2010, now she's a model. I always start out right and end up blowing it. Thankfully it's a rare occasion and doesn't happen with the women I casually date.

I don't have many friends, and so ill be spending New Year's Eve alone since these two friends are leaving out of state early in the morning and a couple I know are gong to their neighbors.

Why are you looking up old exes? That's ain't a good idea bruh

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Oh I wasn't. We stayed friends for a bit, and I still have her on LinkedIn. I'm way over her. That hurt and took awhile to get over her. Now it's like, meh.

 

[Kopite]

Two things:

1) Bunch of friends are bringing me to a massage parlor tomorrow. I don't really know how to feel about it but it's happening. At least I won't have any insecurities about being a virgin anymore.

2) Actual dating advice required here. I've been seeing this girl for about 2.5 months. We've never actually clarified our relationship but I think we both know there's potential for us to be more than friends. We always go out for drinks alone and we've always talked at length about relationships and such,etc. What's the best way to bring this up, to tell her I've been falling for her? Should I just say, "Hey, lets go out on a real date?". I know things aren't ideal as most of Dating-Age will tell me I should have asked her out from the very beginning but I feel there's something here.

 

[Royal_Phalanx]

Hopefully 2016 will be a lot less shit, in terms of everything. Facebook reminds me of how alone I am on NYE.

 

[Xun]

Last night was a heavy one. I didn't get home till 10:30 this morning! I feel absolutely shattered.

I got chatting to a girl as my friend was DJing (she initially requested some music), but the conversation just kind of fizzled out until I bumped into her again at the end. As the pub was shutting, she said a few of her flatmates were hosting a house party so we ventured off to there.

She was all over me! Lots of dancing, grinding, kissing and she was complimenting me throughout. I think my shyness seemed to work in my favour since she said I was really cute.

Whilst we slept in the same bed nothing happened (she joked and said "No funny business tonight!&#8221, but as she was cuddling up to me it seemed obvious she liked me.

I have her on Facebook now, so fingers crossed we'll meet up again soon!

A part of me is stupidly still hung up over the other girl I mentioned before though, but I'm sure in time I'll start to move on.

A strange start to 2016 to say the least!

 

[Daria]

I left my house around 830pm last night, returned home at 3:30pm the next day. 'twas a good night

and again, why does my ex feel the need to text me at 4am saying happy new year. it's strange, they push you away and then when you start showing them that you really don't need them anyway, they want to try and reconnect.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

I left my house around 830pm last night, returned home at 3:30pm the next day. 'twas a good night

and again, why does my ex feel the need to text me at 4am saying happy new year. it's strange, they push you away and then when you start showing them that you really don't need them anyway, they want to try and reconnect.

You already know why.

Mine did the same thing this morning, including sending me a picture of her and her friend still in bed. Then, when I responded (I'll blame latent alcohol), she went silent. So yes, we both know the answer.

Focus on the positive, not the bullshit that has the potential to bring us down.

 

[The English Conquistador]

You already know why.

Mine did the same thing this morning, including sending me a picture of her and her friend still in bed. Then, when I responded (I'll blame latent alcohol), she went silent. So yes, we both know the answer.

Focus on the positive, not the bullshit that has the potential to bring us down.

Lol, this classic bullshit. You're right dude, just chiming in here, but that shit is such an easy catalyst to misery in the dating game.

Girls love doing that kinda thing. They got it down to a fine art at this point, I've noticed.

Hopefully 2016 will be a lot less shit, in terms of everything. Facebook reminds me of how alone I am on NYE.

It will be man, just gotta remain positive! Remember, Facebook is not the be all end of your life. I went through a spell of thinking "why ain't I having all that fun etc" but you're just seeing snippets of peoples lives and that's it. Be thankful that you don't post your entire life on FB.

Take stock of all the good in your life, whether it's friends or family, or both. Things will pick up from there bro, you can make sure of that!

 

[The Wall]

Two things:

1) Bunch of friends are bringing me to a massage parlor tomorrow. I don't really know how to feel about it but it's happening. At least I won't have any insecurities about being a virgin anymore.

Uh, depending on where you're from I wouldn't expect to lose your virginity at a massage parlour. Obviously, stuff happens in them but if you're expecting full-on sex you could get yourself in trouble with the staff, or worse, if your friends didn't do their.... research beforehand.

 

[JeffZero]

In 2014 I had dates with various women but my divorce was still too fresh on my mind and I didn't let those dates go anywhere meaningful. I wasn't honest with myself, and I wasn't fair to those women. Some of them were nice, truly.

In 2015 I felt bad about all that and shelled away for a whole year.

In 2016 I'm going to hop back into the field and post progress here while maybe offering tips and whatnot. I'm no guru (by any stretch) but I might have something smart to say, someday.

Maybe.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Man, I go on tinder to meet new guy friends, and I get a lot of gay men matching with me. I even posted not gay and looking to meet new friends.

are there sites to meet new friends?

 

[gaiages]

Man, I go on tinder to meet new guy friends, and I get a lot of gay men matching with me. I even posted not gay and looking to meet new friends.

are there sites to meet new friends?

Going to Meetup is your best bet, there. Dating sites aren't a good place to get new friends.

 

[User 479360]

I've had a date set-up for tomorrow since Monday, and it's with a girl I met online and have really enjoyed talking to. However, I'm nervous and wish I could easily push it back a few days or a week.

I started feeling crappy tonight and am not sure if I'm getting a cold or if it's my nerves. I told her and said I'd let her know how I feel tomorrow, because I don't want to get sick.

 

[The Wall]

Man, I go on tinder to meet new guy friends, and I get a lot of gay men matching with me. I even posted not gay and looking to meet new friends.

are there sites to meet new friends?

....GAF? lol

I've heard of meetup.com being popular in the past but smaller cities seem to get nothing. I had no idea tinder could be used in a "looking to meet for friends" context.

Problem is, so many people are on there for the meat that they could be completely closed off from the idea of interacting with a gender they aren't interested in having sex with or dating.

Meeting new people can be really, really hard depending on how life has played out for you, no matter how awesome of a guy you are. Any interest in a local sports league? I'm sure there's something in your area. That's a great way to meet new people, socialize, grab a beer after a game, etc.

I've had a date set-up for tomorrow since Monday, and it's with a girl I met online and have really enjoyed talking to. However, I'm nervous and wish I could easily push it back a few days or a week.

I started feeling crappy tonight and am not sure if I'm getting a cold or if it's my nerves. I told her and said I'd let her know how I feel tomorrow, because I don't want to get sick.

You've probably been told this before but try not to overthink it and just be in your best health and condition for when you two do meet. You already like talking to her and she wants to meet with you- that's a good sign. Keep being you but mindful or yourself.

 

[demon]

Man, I go on tinder to meet new guy friends, and I get a lot of gay men matching with me. I even posted not gay and looking to meet new friends.

are there sites to meet new friends?

.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

^haha.

I did go out last night and met these two couples, I was a fifth wheel. We went to a couple of places and they got my number. They were cool.

 

[The Wall]

^haha.

I did go out last night and met these two couples, I was a fifth wheel. We went to a couple of places and they got my number. They were cool.

Tch, see, you're fooling us all. You charismatic as fuck. Even when you're a "fifth wheel" you get a phone number!

 

[Gotdatmoney]

What does "get along" mean? How did you befriend this girl? Did you do so because she was attractive? And if you didn't, why didn't you tell her you found her attractive and initiate the kiss yourself?

Because initiating physical contact with your friends you have zero desire in dating can make things weird? Isn't that plainly obvious? I have zero problem reciprocating but I'm not gonna be the one to initiate because I don't want them to imply I want anything.

Why are you masquerading your initial approach as purely platonic? I mean, you can't possible like this girl yet, as you don't know her. All you have to go by is that she's good looking and seems nice.

I have no idea what you are talking about here. This has zero to do with why I addressed your post. All my post was saying is if you have a friend and they tried to make a move physically, I would have zero problem taking it up because I have no problem distinguishing dick from emotion.

Who said you have to make her your girlfriend? How old are you?

You implied you can't be friends with people you are attracted to. That implies you want more. This is the natural outcome, you know that.

And you know very well why you wouldn't try from the jump, because you are afraid of putting yourself out there and hurting your ego at the potential rejection. The only reason you lie to yourself you're just being friendly to this attractive girl you never met in your life, is to gauge your level of success in the event you do muster up the courage to ask her out. So you are not being a friend, you're being sneaky. Or a coward, as your example implies you wouldn't even make the move yourself, but reciprocate once she does.

So you didn't read what I actually said? Cause this doesn't even sorta apply to words I typed

And like I said in my previous post, you can indeed be friends with conventionally attractive women you don't find attractive. Those would be, you know, your real friends.

So now I don't actually understand how you are defining attractive. Good looking? Check. Personality traits I actually enjoy in a human being? Check? I know many girls in my life that fit that definition. I'm not trying to date them despite the attraction. Not interested. That's not rare.

I never said they are not separate. I said there is an order. Dick first, then emotion. You can't feel "feelings" for someone you are not attracted to, a point which I reiterated multiple times in my post, and point this post has still not proven wrong.

No I agree with this, you can't feel something for someone but claim zero attraction. But where does feelings come into what I took issue with? You can have friends you are sexually attracted to and just flat out now want or desire to be with or do anything with them. You can lack a desire to pursue or a desire to initiate physical contact. If you have people in your life you are sexually attracted to that you just don't want anything from, I don't find that odd.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Tch, see, you're fooling us all. You charismatic as fuck. Even when you're a "fifth wheel" you get a phone number!

I can get girls. The problem is that I meet that one girl that goes beyond physical looks, and then I eventually fuck it up.

I just can't get over your guys answers on this. I wish you guys were there to see it, but I can usually tell when a girl is teasing and put off.

I just don't know why it's hard to realize a girl may want to take it slow before sex, and that she was put off by my intentions. When we kissed in the car in front of her place, it was a good night kiss. She said good night and talk to you later. There were no other cues or signals.

Now something else I forgot to mention. When I was waiting for her outside for our third date, I went in for the kiss on the lips, and she turned her head and I got the cheek. But when we were walking to whatever destination we were going, she was holding my arm or hands as usual.

After I called it quits via text, besides the whole "physically suffocated" talk, she said she thought about giving it another shot, hence her saying how about Wednesday for our date and we'll work something out soon from her, but had no desire to.

That last part makes me think she didn't find me attractive? I mean, what? Would a super hot good looking guy had another chance with her?

Or am I over analyzing as usual? If the third date went differently, and her roommate didn't show up to bail her out, then yeah, we most likely woudlve gone out for a 4th date.

I know I'm beating a dead horse, but this makes me feel a little better talking about it.

 

[BravesCountry]

Have any non-smokers here dated a heavy smoker? I never thought I would date a smoker but it hasn't bothered me that much at the beginning, but I think that could be because its very easy to overlook things when things feel exciting. The potential future health issues bother me too...not sure what to think because everything else is great so far. I also feel like its presumptuous to think I could change a person.

 

[Coda]

Have any non-smokers here dated a heavy smoker? I never thought I would date a smoker but it hasn't bothered me that much at the beginning, but I think that could be because its very easy to overlook things when things feel exciting. The potential future health issues bother me too...not sure what to think because everything else is great so far.

I dated an Indian girl for a hot minute who smoked like a chimney and she even would smoke inside her apartment. There were also other factors as to why it didn't work out but it definitely got to me after a while regardless. It's pretty unattractive to me at this point, I don't mind weed though, sometimes smoke that myself.

 

[Llyranor]

Health issues aside (which are mostly only relevant if you're thinking of a LTR, I guess), I can't stand the smell. I just find it disgusting.

 

[BravesCountry]

I think the potential future health issues bother me more than the actual smoking does, I don't mind smoking myself once in a blue moon on a night out but its pretty rare. I do think the frequency with which she smokes could become a problem though.

 

[Llyranor]

If it bothers you enough for it to be a problem long-term, bring it up with them. If they're thinking of quitting and need support, offer that. If they go all defensive and 'how dare you comment on my smoking I don't comment on your anime pillow collection' or a 'mind your own business', then it might be time to rethink your expectations and priorities in this relationship.

 

[The Wall]

I can get girls. The problem is that I meet that one girl that goes beyond physical looks, and then I eventually fuck it up.

I just can't get over your guys answers on this. I wish you guys were there to see it, but I can usually tell when a girl is teasing and put off.

I just don't know why it's hard to realize a girl may want to take it slow before sex, and that she was put off by my intentions. When we kissed in the car in front of her place, it was a good night kiss. She said good night and talk to you later. There were no other cues or signals.

Now something else I forgot to mention. When I was waiting for her outside for our third date, I went in for the kiss on the lips, and she turned her head and I got the cheek. But when we were walking to whatever destination we were going, she was holding my arm or hands as usual.

After I called it quits via text, besides the whole "physically suffocated" talk, she said she thought about giving it another shot, hence her saying how about Wednesday for our date and we'll work something out soon from her, but had no desire to.

That last part makes me think she didn't find me attractive? I mean, what? Would a super hot good looking guy had another chance with her?

Or am I over analyzing as usual? If the third date went differently, and her roommate didn't show up to bail her out, then yeah, we most likely woudlve gone out for a 4th date.

Even if you somehow had inside info on where she felt things were between you two from her roommate or something, you'd STILL probably be overthinking it. Which isn't always a terrible thing- it means you like her enough to think about it, be nervous, etc. I just think that unless you have some insane chemistry with each other and she's "The One", overthinking is what's happening here.

I think that's part of what makes dating and actively pursueing someone so hard. Getting out of your head in a manner that allows you to present yourself to someone in the best way possible and let things happen naturally is a right of passage that hits some people later in life, if ever.

 

[Coda]

If it bothers you enough for it to be a problem long-term, bring it up with them. If they're thinking of quitting and need support, offer that. If they go all defensive and 'how dare you comment on my smoking I don't comment on your anime pillow collection' or a 'mind your own business', then it might be time to rethink your expectations and priorities in this relationship.

I'd say wait until the relationship gets more serious to bring it up IMO. At least that way you can make the argument that you care about her and worry about what it's doing to her health instead of making it seem like it's something that bother's you. It will make the gesture seem more sincere and thoughtful.

 

[ZackieChan]

Man, I go on tinder to meet new guy friends, and I get a lot of gay men matching with me. I even posted not gay and looking to meet new friends.

are there sites to meet new friends?

Haha, how do you not know that this isn't what Tinder is for? A straight guy on Tinder most likely isn't going to have it set to match with guys.

Meet up is one way. Hobby-related groups are another. Maybe try a board gaming group found on Board Game Geek?

What do you like to do?

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

I thought by switching to guys, it'd be the same guys looking for women, lol. On the plus side, a lot of very attractive gay men were matching up with me. I was getting alerts every minute.

Meetup app sounds good. I don't game. Going out to bars and watching football? Lifting weights? That's it I guess.

 

[BravesCountry]

If it bothers you enough for it to be a problem long-term, bring it up with them. If they're thinking of quitting and need support, offer that. If they go all defensive and 'how dare you comment on my smoking I don't comment on your anime pillow collection' or a 'mind your own business', then it might be time to rethink your expectations and priorities in this relationship.

I'd say wait until the relationship gets more serious to bring it up IMO. At least that way you can make the argument that you care about her and worry about what it's doing to her health instead of making it seem like it's something that bother's you. It will make the gesture seem more sincere and thoughtful.

I won't see her again till late January so until then I'll decide when I'm going to bring it up, I believe she mentioned she would like to quit before but I know that every smoker says this and doesn't mean she actually would. I would offer support though if that is what she wanted. Also I agree I don't think I would bring this up until the relationship becomes more serious, although it does seem headed in that direction.

 

[The Wall]

I won't see her again till late January so until then I'll decide when I'm going to bring it up, I believe she mentioned she would like to quit before but I know that every smoker says this and doesn't mean she actually would. I would offer support though if that is what she wanted. Also I agree I don't think I would bring this up until the relationship becomes more serious, although it does seem headed in that direction.

This seems like a really good plan and way to approach it. Some people are lifers, some people actually do want to quit but do so when they're ready (it can be a coping mechanism for some people to get them through something rough, then they fall down that slippery slope and keep at it).

If it begins to get serious and she wants to quit, approach it calmy and be supportive. Sometimes that's all a person needs if it's something they want to work towards anyway, or have tried in the past. She'll probably really appreciate you bringing it up if things are serious. Certain parts of a woman's health can particularly be ravaged by smoking too.

 

[Ape]

man since my girl left me dating has been sort of crazy.

I went on a date today, made out with her and we called it a night. so I hit up another girl and slept with her in a hotel. now tomorrow I'm going up to this other chick's beach house for a hook up.


this is getting out of control

 

[vern]

man since my girl left me dating has been sort of crazy.

I went on a date today, made out with her and we called it a night. so I hit up another girl and slept with her in a hotel. now tomorrow I'm going up to this other chick's beach house for a hook up.


this is getting out of control

Be careful.... I hear it becomes addicting, you know from other people, I've heard that... Yup.

Neogafs zackiechan I'm following in your grand footsteps tonight. And I know you know what I mean. Should be fun. Bringing the batting average up to .200.

 

[Ape]

Be careful.... I hear it becomes addicting, you know from other people, I've heard that... Yup.

Neogafs zackiechan I'm following in your grand footsteps tonight. And I know you know what I mean. Should be fun. Bringing the batting average up to .200.

man I was married for a loooong time. we are still technically married lol. I'm just enjoying myself right now. not looking to settle down again for a while.

 

[gaiages]

I thought by switching to guys, it'd be the same guys looking for women, lol. On the plus side, a lot of very attractive gay men were matching up with me. I was getting alerts every minute.

Meetup app sounds good. I don't game. Going out to bars and watching football? Lifting weights? That's it I guess.

In my area there isn't even a video gaming group on Meetup (although there's a Magic and board game group... ). Typically Meetup has a wide range of stuff to get into. I'm part of a walking meetup, for example (and a book club soon, too).

 

[neurochasm]

man I was married for a loooong time. we are still technically married lol. I'm just enjoying myself right now. not looking to settle down again for a while.

Anyone have a problem with your marital status yet? I've been separated for over a year, filing soon, and I think it's keeping me from putting myself out there more.

 

[ZackieChan]

Be careful.... I hear it becomes addicting, you know from other people, I've heard that... Yup.

Neogafs zackiechan I'm following in your grand footsteps tonight. And I know you know what I mean. Should be fun. Bringing the batting average up to .200.

Good luck bro.

Nothing could be worse than that one night I had in China, though.

My sabbatical is going well. *cry*
South Jersey Tinder sucks for me.

 

[AdventureRacing]

Have any non-smokers here dated a heavy smoker? I never thought I would date a smoker but it hasn't bothered me that much at the beginning, but I think that could be because its very easy to overlook things when things feel exciting. The potential future health issues bother me too...not sure what to think because everything else is great so far. I also feel like its presumptuous to think I could change a person.

Instant deal breaker no questions asked.

 

[Mortimer Brewster]

man since my girl left me dating has been sort of crazy.

I went on a date today, made out with her and we called it a night. so I hit up another girl and slept with her in a hotel. now tomorrow I'm going up to this other chick's beach house for a hook up.


this is getting out of control

That's the spirit. You do stuff like that and keep yourself out there and casual , one of these girls you see is more then likely to reveal themselves as a good long term match.

 

[CanUKlehead]

I won't see her again till late January so until then I'll decide when I'm going to bring it up, I believe she mentioned she would like to quit before but I know that every smoker says this and doesn't mean she actually would. I would offer support though if that is what she wanted. Also I agree I don't think I would bring this up until the relationship becomes more serious, although it does seem headed in that direction.

I've dated a heavy smoker, I don't smoke. Basically, we had a certain respect for each other. I didn't like it, I told her that, but I was also very careful in coming across that I don't want het to quit for me; she can quit if she wants, but do it for herself. She also knew I woudn't go for a smoke with her, she never smoked in my house, etc. I'm also vegetarian and she wasn't, and that wasn't an issue between us either.

But ultimately, it didn't bother me as much as it seems to bother you. Sounds like it could be a dealbreaker then.

The ashtray taste while makimg out can be pretty gross, granted.

 

[Ceallach]

Smoking never bothered me. I used to smoke before I vaped, so it's nbd.

 

[Assanova]

Have any non-smokers here dated a heavy smoker? I never thought I would date a smoker but it hasn't bothered me that much at the beginning, but I think that could be because its very easy to overlook things when things feel exciting. The potential future health issues bother me too...not sure what to think because everything else is great so far. I also feel like its presumptuous to think I could change a person.

I did. I thought I could do it, but in the end, I just couldn't. When we first started talking, she said that she was trying to quit, but once she knew that she had me, she had absolutely no intention of quitting. It was one of the main reasons why I eventually left her. Everything smelled like smoke and she thought it was okay to smoke in her car with me in it as long as she had the windows rolled down.