Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.

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davidwhangchoi said:
Hi KingK, if you got time and no others in line, just keep hanging out this coming semester now that she has more free time. nothing to really lose =)
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Hmm, I would say that this is a bad idea, if the thought behind it is to somehow convince her to be in a romantic relationship. If you're cool with just being friends, then that's fine. If you have ulterior motives, just skip hanging out and find someone else.

Kurt Angle said:
is second time going out too early to hang with friends?
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If I'm understanding you right, you want to bring someone on a second date to hang out with your friends? I think that might be too early, unless they have expressed interest in that.
 
ZackieChan said:
Hmm, I would say that this is a bad idea, if the thought behind it is to somehow convince her to be in a romantic relationship. If you're cool with just being friends, then that's fine. If you have ulterior motives, just skip hanging out and find someone else.
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ZackieChan is that your dog? or is that your honey trap technique. heheh

one more semester, let them hang and ride it out. why not? they've been chilling together for a bit, hey, you never know... he can still look for other relationships during... eh whatever =)

doubt he'll lose anything either way.
 
davidwhangchoi said:
ZackieChan is that your dog? or is that your honey trap technique. heheh

one more semester, let them hang and ride it out. why not? they've been chilling together for a bit, hey, you never know... he can still look for other relationships during... eh whatever =)

doubt he'll lose anything either way.
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Because KingK doesn't know the difference between hanging out and dating?

Sounds like he is strung up on her and it isn't healthy. This whole time he has been waiting for her to "be ready."

KingK, you asked her out for coffee. Awesome. That is more than what some here can say. Just do that again with another girl. And another girl. And another girl.
 
KingK said:
I could use some advice, Gaf. Apologies for such a long post.

Some background on my situation. I'm 23 and a virgin, and I've never had a girlfriend. Only ever kissed 3 girls and I was really drunk each time. Closest I ever came to a relationship was a girl way back in high school like 6 years ago who ended up dating my best friend for a time because I apparently waited too long to make a move. A little over a year ago, a girl came home from the bar with me and we watched a movie. I was drunk and we started making out, which eventually led to my fingers inside her/rubbing her clit and then me getting a blowjob. That was my first and so far only sexual experience. Honestly, while it definitely felt nice, I really didn't enjoy it half as much as I thought I would because I had just met the girl. I had gotten her number at the bar, but she never responded to any texts I sent her after that night, which kinda stung. A lot. I don't think it's necessarily sex I'm looking for so much as companionship and not feeling so damn lonely and depressed all the time (although sex would be nice too).

So back in late September I met this girl in one of my classes and asked her out to coffee afterwards. I got her number and a couple weeks later, in October, we had made plans to hang out at her place (she lives by herself in an apartment) and watch some Neflix. My friends were all building this up, saying that "netflix and chill" is some instant sex thing, but I tempered my expectations, hoping that we would at least just make out. So that night we chill and talk for a bit, have a few drinks, and watch Kill Bill. I was waiting for a time during the movie to make a move and try to kiss her, but it never felt like the right time since she never really cuddled up to me (though her feet were laying across my lap). Eventually, after the movie, she said she was getting tired and going to call it a night. As I'm leaving we hug and I said something along the lines of "can I kiss you/I've been wanting to kiss you all night." She said she wasn't looking for a relationship right now or something, and I got out of there embarrassed as fuck. I texted her the next morning to apologize for being so awkward and said we could just be friends if that's what she wanted. She said not to apologize, that her last relationship didn't go so well and she's really busy with school/work so she isn't looking for a relationship right now, but that she wanted to keep hanging out and see where things go.

Since then we still text more days than not (although usually not super long conversations), we got coffee a couple times a week on campus after the class we had together, and we hung out several more times. We went out to a couple movies, went bowling, went out for sushi, etc. but the most that has happened physically is a kiss on the cheek or holding hands. We didn't really see each other off campus much the last couple weeks of the semester because we were both so busy, and then she went to visit her family in Canada right after finals (she's not American).

She just got back yesterday and I'm supposed to come over to her place sometime this week with a bottle of champagne to celebrate the end of the semester. She only has one class next semester (the last one she needs to graduate) and mentioned that she'll have a lot more time to hang out now.

My question is, has this dragged on so long that I have no chance of dating her now? Have I been "friendzoned?" If when I go over there this week, nothing happens, should I ask her where this is going or if she's at all interested in a relationship with me? I really don't even know if we've been going out on dates this whole time or just hanging out as friends.
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This helped in a major slump https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-beige-phillip-show/id531521237
 
GK86 said:
Because KingK doesn't know the difference between hanging out and dating?

Sounds like he is strung up on her and it isn't healthy. This whole time he has been waiting for her to "be ready."

KingK, you asked her out for coffee. Awesome. That is more than what some here can say. Just do that again with another girl. And another girl. And another girl.
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Hi GK86, by reading his post, sounds like she just got of a relationship and wasn't ready for anything at the moment. (maybe an excuse maybe not) I think he wants to know if he's in permanent "friend zone" and if he no chance with her. so he's asking if he should bring it up now that she's coming back.

not sure about the strung up part... what's not healthy? not sure the drama.... she mentioned she wants to see where things go, it's not going to kill him to see things one more semester. if it's no go, then it's the same.

eh, maybe i'm a bit more laid back w/ relationships. anyways, i do agree KingK is a bit restless gassed w/ expectations.

one more semester...heheh
 
davidwhangchoi said:
Hi GK86, by reading his post, sounds like she just got of a relationship and wasn't ready for anything at the moment. (maybe an excuse maybe not) I think he wants to know if he's in permanent "friend zone" and if he no chance with her. so he's asking if he should bring it up now that she's coming back.

not sure about the strung up part... what's not healthy? not sure the drama.... she mentioned she wants to see where things go, it's not going to kill him to see things one more semester. if it's no go, then it's the same.

eh, maybe i'm a bit more laid back w/ relationships. anyways, i do agree KingK is a bit restless gassed w/ expectations.

one more semester...heheh
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How often does "I want to see where things go" after she's already denied him a kiss ever work? I feel like Patrice O'Neal's take on a "time ho" is apt here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9QOQNcpuiA
 
davidwhangchoi said:
Hi GK86, by reading his post, sounds like she just got of a relationship and wasn't ready for anything at the moment. (maybe an excuse maybe not) I think he wants to know if he's in permanent "friend zone" and if he no chance with her. so he's asking if he should bring it up now that she's coming back.

not sure about the strung up part... what's not healthy? not sure the drama.... she mentioned she wants to see where things go, it's not going to kill him to see things one more semester. if it's no go, then it's the same.

eh, maybe i'm a bit more laid back w/ relationships. anyways, i do agree KingK is a bit restless gassed w/ expectations.

one more semester...heheh
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He's in a friendzone, he just doesn't realize it yet. If she comes around at some point, great, but I doubt it. He'd be better off spending his time seeking a woman wants a romatic relationship with him. If he's okay spending time with this current girl with no expectations beyond friendship, then fine. I doubt it, though.

Dog is my dog's "sister" - my ex takes care of our dog and this is her 2nd dog. And yes, chicks dig it :P
 
oh god I think I'm addicted to tinder hook ups

its sort of like fishing, except instead of catching a fish you get laid.

I'm such a fucking whore
 
ZackieChan said:
If I'm understanding you right, you want to bring someone on a second date to hang out with your friends? I think that might be too early, unless they have expressed interest in that.
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yeah my buddies are going go karting so thought I'd ask her if she wants to cone along

but I've only been on 1 date with her
 
ZackieChan said:
He's in a friendzone, he just doesn't realize it yet. If she comes around at some point, great, but I doubt it. He'd be better off spending his time seeking a woman wants a romatic relationship with him. If he's okay spending time with this current girl with no expectations beyond friendship, then fine. I doubt it, though.

Dog is my dog's "sister" - my ex takes care of our dog and this is her 2nd dog. And yes, chicks dig it :P
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Hey ZackieChan, yeah, most likely, but i've seen this before and think it may work out (50/50). he put in the time, hate to see him drop it and not follow through one more semester...

but i agree w/ you and GK86, he may be in no condition to do the no expectations thing and it does take discipline.

i'd hold my nuts one more semester and ride out out baby, crash and burn.

that dog is freakin cute as hell =)
 
need more advice on studying engineering/computer science and dating. i spoke to a friend today who is also studying cs and he said i should ignore the women and concentrate on studies

thoughts?
 
ssharm02 said:
need more advice on studying engineering/computer science and dating. i spoke to a friend today who is also studying cs and he said i should ignore the women and concentrate on studies

thoughts?
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it really depends on the person. I know plenty of ppl that hooked up all the time on college and maintained good grades. even in stem fields. some others couldn't. you might want to take it slow if you're not sure, or just focus on school.
 
ssharm02 said:
need more advice on studying engineering/computer science and dating. i spoke to a friend today who is also studying cs and he said i should ignore the women and concentrate on studies

thoughts?
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All of the same advice we gave you before still applies. Nothing has changed.

You're free to keep studying. But for God's sake treat the people in the library like human beings and not JRPG NPCs.
 
When I first started using tinder. I matched with a pretty cool gal. We texted, always tried to get together, even spontaneously one day, but my shitty retail schedule always prevented us from seeing each other. We are finally able to meet, trivia night at a taphouse. She loves games.

So I'm there waiting for her. She shows up with another guy. Fuck me. Oh, it's her roommate? Damn, Jason, another roommate!? Yes, but he's gay. Anyway, her GF shows up, too. Now I'm feeling like an outsider and I'm coming off shy. I try my best.

After that night, we text here and there. Then I kinda ignore her.

Fast forward a few days ago, i shoot a message, ask her what she did for NYE and if everything is fine, and that we should get together. She said absolutely, and what any schedule is like. I tell her I'm off Monday's and Friday's. She says one of the Friday's will work. I ask her what about this Friday? We can get together and grab drinks. There's a nice wine bar in downtown Dunedin where you live. She says she has plans already. Ok, haven't spoke with this girl in over a month. Quickly asking her out in the coming days she may have plans. I say what about next Friday? And do you like sushi? Also, there's a great indoor/outdoor bar next door. She says she likes sushi, but only cooked, but next Friday I'm free, and no plans yet. Ok, huh. She also says I'll have to remind her a day or two before the date, because when we talked at getting together, she did mention a few days ago she has a lot of paper bids going out for her job, and it'll keep her busy for a week and a half.

So theres that. Also, I mentioned to her I didn't want her to think I was shy when we first met. I said her friends were great, but I felt like an outsider. She said I did come off as quiet, but understood why with a group of strangers.

And thats why i made sure the two of us should go out and have dinner.

I'm keeping my expectations in check on this one, GAF. I can go either way.
 
We tentatively rescheduled our coffee date to tomorrow night, but it depends on how I feel because I've been feeling crappy with some sort of cold or flu.

She had food poisoning on Sunday, so we didn't meet then.
 
Jason's Ultimatum said:
Quickly asking her out in the coming days she may have plans. I say what about next Friday? And do you like sushi? Also, there's a great indoor/outdoor bar next door. She says she likes sushi, but only cooked, but next Friday I'm free, and no plans yet. Ok, huh. She also says I'll have to remind her a day or two before the date, because when we talked at getting together, she did mention a few days ago she has a lot of paper bids going out for her job, and it'll keep her busy for a week and a half.
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Drop her like a bad habit. She's a monster.

ssharm02 said:
hahahah god damn bro
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Sorry to be harsh, but your old posts about your non-interaction with her/them were super weird and gave this kind of vibe. I hope you've at least loosened up around them!
 
Oh come on. Cooked sushi ain't so bad.

What am I talking about. I can only eat sushi with rice.

I'm taking this girl to the same sushi joint I took the girl that dumped me, heh. Even the bar next door.
 
Jason's Ultimatum said:
Oh come on. Cooked sushi ain't so bad.

What am I talking about. I can only eat sushi with rice.

I'm taking this girl to the same sushi joint I took the girl that dumped me, heh. Even the bar next door.
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Sushi with rice is fine.

I don't know wtf "cooked" sushi is. Like those gross tuna tempura rolls where they fry the whole thing?
 
Shrimp tempura, Mexican roll, immitation crab, and California roll.

Edit-just reread the msg. She just said she doesn't like raw sushi. Didn't say anything about cooked. Huh, shows how much I pay attention I her.
 
Ape said:
Get it!

I'm talking to this chick that is a little bit of a drive. shes cute tho. hopefully dtf.
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I'm talking to a girl on tinder now, she's 6 miles away. Can't tell her deal at the moment. Do you ask for their number pretty soon or far into the conversation?
 
LUCKY n WILD said:
I'm talking to a girl on tinder now, she's 6 miles away. Can't tell her deal at the moment. Do you ask for their number pretty soon or far into the conversation?
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depends on if your vibing good. like for instance Ill say something like "hey, if you want you can text me - (add number here) if not then that's fine too"

some ppl text some ppl say "i want to get to know you a little better first" shit like that

its never ruined a match for me thus far


omg I genuinely do not care about what this chick is saying,. I just want to bone her and never talk to her again already. ffs.
 
Llyranor said:
Seriously. This is the most offended I've been in this thread so far.

/sushisnob
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1397.gif
 
LUCKY n WILD said:
I'm talking to a girl on tinder now, she's 6 miles away. Can't tell her deal at the moment. Do you ask for their number pretty soon or far into the conversation?
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pretty soon into the convo. just say, "mind if I get your number? I absolutely hate using tinder for texting." Which is true, Tinder does suck for texting. I've never been denied a number using that line.
 
I've read some bullshit on NeoGAF but cooked sushi might be up at the top. That is just unholy.

I'm trying out Plenty Of Fish and there seems to be way more attractive. You haven't got that big Match % like on OKC either, which I find limiting.
 
is it wrong to text your feelings before the second date? nothing ended up happening during the first date so I kind of want to make sure we're on the same page.
 
Kurtofan said:
is it wrong to text your feelings before the second date? nothing ended up happening during the first date so I kind of want to make sure we're on the same page.
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Just go for the date, and find out the fun way! People don't want to read your journal thoughts about them before a date
 
Kurtofan said:
is it wrong to text your feelings before the second date? nothing ended up happening during the first date so I kind of want to make sure we're on the same page.
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The second date is the "real" first date. Congrats, both of you, on passing the initial interview. At the end, you'll both know if there's a spark of anything there. The third date, if you make it that far, is for assessing that.

Of course, if you do marathon dating, it kind of throws those rules out the window. But it's a decent rule of thumb nonetheless.
 
When I go to a sushi restaurant, I always order fried chicken.

Does this make me a bad person?
 
Ape said:
cant catch those feels man. on to the next one.
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This one has potential though. And I'm not ready to dismiss her so quickly, even if I am always ready to bail at the first sign of awful shit and got my guard up. She says she wants to be serious and isn't wasting my time or hers, but words are just words.
 
Kurtofan said:
is it wrong to text your feelings before the second date? nothing ended up happening during the first date so I kind of want to make sure we're on the same page.
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Do not do that!
NONONONONO.

Go for the second date and go for a kiss. Flirt a little before though and you'll be golden.
 
No Love said:
This one has potential though. And I'm not ready to dismiss her so quickly, even if I am always ready to bail at the first sign of awful shit and got my guard up. She says she wants to be serious and isn't wasting my time or hers, but words are just words.
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I think I'm in a similar position as you, my guard is up and it isn't coming down for a while, even if I meet a good one its going to end badly. and I know that's my fault just because my last relationship ended the way it did. so basically I'm just ploughing the fields.


Ok fuck. I'll admit I'm catching feels for my main. She's a great girl but I'm not settling down. This is frustrating because I know that I'm going to hurt her. Fuuuuckkkkk
 
Kurtofan said:
is it wrong to text your feelings before the second date? nothing ended up happening during the first date so I kind of want to make sure we're on the same page.
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What the other guys said. To add to it, there's a chance she might be scared off by you laying it all out for her. It's the conundrum of dating - you can't show your cards before you think the other part is on somewhat the same page as you. Else you'll either scare her off or disappoint her.
 
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