Just popping in to second the hell outta this.
Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
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Just popping in to second the hell outta this.
I softball a date idea, get her to cosign and then I say let's do it, What's your number? Ez pz.
Solideliquid
Member
What are people's thoughts on marrying someone 10-12 years older than yourself?
I wouldn't but if it makes you happy go for it
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Fuck no.
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
I'd say that if you love them and get on well with them then the only potential impediment is kids/fertility.
Who cares about age?
ZackieChan
Member
I'm basically a 23 year old (at 37), so I can't imagine marrying someone in their late 40s. Also, I don't want to have kids, so women in their 30s or later are probably not for me if that's what they're looking for.
waveuponwave
Member
Worked for my parents. Go for it, if it's what you want, but make sure you're on the same page regarding your (long-term) expectations and your general life plans... like the question if/when to have kids could be an issue, I guess
Halcyon
Member
I think if you've gotten past the issue of just DATING someone 10-12 years older than you and things have been working out enough to consider marriage then it's not a terrible situation.
If you're 25 and she's 37 the issue would be having kids. If you're a woman and he's 37 then that happens all the time.
Not to sound grim but I think beyond kids the only other issue is that it's more likely that she will pass away before you when you both grow old and that age disparity will leave you at an age where you still want love but don't have it and maybe can't find it anymore down the line. Obviously this is a total hypothetical but is still something to think about. If you love her just go for it regardless though, it'd be a stupid reason to not to.
Just playing devil's advocate, I stated thats it's a total hypothetical scenario. It happened to one of my Uncle's though, his first wife was much older than him and died and he's still alive and just finally found a new wife, but it took many years and a lot of healing.
davidwhangchoi
Member
had a friend who just did that. he was 27 she was 37 at the time.
i told him have kids fast so they can have a mom when they get to college.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Yes. You should only text between dates to set up another date. If the time between dates is large, however, then you can throw in a "how's your week(end)" text every couple days.
every couple days seems right, that's what I've been doing.
Silphonica
Banned
My first gf ever was 28 when I was 17. I really liked her, but but If was still with her but the time im 35, we'd start to see a noticeable difference I think. I don't I think it would be off putting really. HOwever, whatever makes you happy you should pursue.
Kill Your Masters
Member
So this girl I have been seeing for less than two months got a little cold all of a sudden. Says she is a bit afraid of where this is leading (it has been going really good), but yeah now I feel she has become a bit distant (a bit less texting, we don't see each other as often, but she is also stressed from work, we still text on a daily basis). She also felt a bit pressured all of a sudden (I admit I am into her more than I have anticipated, and may have been more available than I should have)
So I give her space now, not pushing, not being needy etc., not even suggesting dates.. But I am always itchy to text or call, kinda afraid she'll get even less interested both ways, and in a weird "what the fuck am I supposed to do" spot.
Feels weird, usually I can sense when a girl really loses interest just from the responses I receive for a casual text, but here, its just like, there is still some, but definitely less.
So I give her space now, not pushing, not being needy etc., not even suggesting dates.. But I am always itchy to text or call, kinda afraid she'll get even less interested both ways, and in a weird "what the fuck am I supposed to do" spot.
Feels weird, usually I can sense when a girl really loses interest just from the responses I receive for a casual text, but here, its just like, there is still some, but definitely less.
Tell her you know she's busy,but ask her to give you a shout when she has a free night for the next date. Leave the ball in her court. If she never comes back with anything, there's your answer.
This tends to be my view on that sort of thing.
RedVladimir
Banned
She can smell you're ready to give up an arm and a leg for her from a mile away. Sure, space may help the situation, but that rarely helps on its own. You giving her space means very little when and if she requests your presence, you'd be willing to be there in an instant. And what is the point in making you romantically exclusive, if she can enjoy the benefits of your friendship and little to none of the commitment? If love was purely transactional, which it isn't but still, I'd say you're bringing about a very poor business proposition to this girl.
What have YOU done that other guys haven't done (or aren't doing)? Why is it that men don't ask this question more often?
If we establish the premise that people want what they can't have, then you need to be The Guy™ that other women want. So you need to go out there and date and give off the vibe that that is the case. Living in abundance will affect your life positively. You can still care about this girl, but you do not make her a priority. This, bizarrely and yet unsurprisingly, will rekindle her interest in you (it is still your job to demonstrate to her why she should stay with you long term, though). And if what you had was actually your chance to bring that in her and you got what you're bringing to us now, then move on. You simply can't strategize your way into a relationship.
You have to evoke that in her. Love is real, but it isn't spontaneous.
Why are you waiting for her text? She's not waiting for yours.
Do what she's doing: Live ya' life.
NEXT!
Do not dignify this with a response. If you feel you must, "k" will suffice. I think to put this level of ridiculousness into perspective, you have to ask yourself this: "Would you do the same with a girl you're really into?" Then there you go.
davidwhangchoi
Member
^lol
Silphonica
Banned
I'm going to give you advice that may take weeks/months/years to truly understand. Im only saying this because, Ive been there.
Chill man. Girls know when you act like this, its like how you know youre being watched. Girls know this shit, its not natural. When you start obsessing over every action she does, she wont want to act.
The unfortunate thing is, the only real remedy I have figured out is fuck up enough to realise that girls are mind readers and things go better when you be yourself, and exercise some chill.
Shuggananas
Banned
a few weddings in the beginning of january ok lol
don't bother
don't bother
waveuponwave
Member
You made your intentions more than clear. If she's intrested it's her turn to get back to you
I just finally got a text from the previous girl apologising for her behaviour and mixed signals. I can only assume her friend (who is now going out with my mate) told her to send something, although maybe she was feeling bad about it all/didn't know what she wanted?
I'm hurt, but at the same time I feel I can finally move on from her (even if I'll be seeing her a lot more from now on...)
In other news I'm meeting up with the girl from NYE on Saturday, so it's not all bad I guess! Hopefully it goes well.
Bruce Springsteen
Member
I met this girl in December towards the end of the month, we saw each other 3-4 times in 2 weeks and really hit it off. I then had to leave town for 3 weeks. Shockingly we've texted each other almost every day during that time.
Last night when we were texting she mentioned that point and said she "was proud of us" for doing so. Didn't know how to react to that over a text. She also was telling me to open up more and "she needs more".
I like this girl but she's saying some heavy stuff early on, a bit too much for me right now
Last night when we were texting she mentioned that point and said she "was proud of us" for doing so. Didn't know how to react to that over a text. She also was telling me to open up more and "she needs more".
I like this girl but she's saying some heavy stuff early on, a bit too much for me right now
Krauser Kat
Member
Its been a good week, Dating gaf.
Monday, went out to dinner and we came back to my place and watched drive angry which she got way more into than i would have imagined. Some make out time did happen but i was able to move it to the bed before long.
Tuesday i was able to catch a preview screening of Anomonalisa with another girl. We grabbed a quick eat and then i had made fudge earlier on in the week and she needed to try some. She came by and she got some fudge and some other others things. Yoga training people are pretty cool.
Wed i was exhausted but my figure drawing model cancelled and i didnt like the replacement so i hit up this cute blond who has been super into pole dancing for the past year. We had a great chat at the local bar and i walked her home. Could be something there.
Today i am going to chill. Then on Friday i meet a girl in grad school for drinks and she is totally my type so i dont know how that will go.
Monday, went out to dinner and we came back to my place and watched drive angry which she got way more into than i would have imagined. Some make out time did happen but i was able to move it to the bed before long.
Tuesday i was able to catch a preview screening of Anomonalisa with another girl. We grabbed a quick eat and then i had made fudge earlier on in the week and she needed to try some. She came by and she got some fudge and some other others things. Yoga training people are pretty cool.
Wed i was exhausted but my figure drawing model cancelled and i didnt like the replacement so i hit up this cute blond who has been super into pole dancing for the past year. We had a great chat at the local bar and i walked her home. Could be something there.
Today i am going to chill. Then on Friday i meet a girl in grad school for drinks and she is totally my type so i dont know how that will go.
Silphonica
Banned
quick question,when you were laying in bed together, did you try to initiate anything?
I'm going to be honest, if you didn't and she said "no funny business tonight", to me that says "please make a move". Don't confuse that with forcing yourself on her, but honestly, if she goes out of her way to get a reaction out of you, you should try your best. If she rejects you at that point, then yes, end it there, and im sure laying there with her close to you was nice. But personally I would have preferred trying to do something if I liked the girl. Because to me, when a girl sends a signal like that, and you don't do anything, shes very likely to change her mind next day. As in your case. Even if you try and you get rejected its the same situation.
ZackieChan
Member
Yeah, this has happened to me multiple times.
stn
Member
You messed up, man. You cannot dance, grind, kiss, and be in the same bed and not make a move to close the deal. You have to be gutsy and go for it all the time. Here's why. Let's say you're in bed and you make a move to have sex, and the result is she rejects you. That's good because you now know she's only out to waste your time and give you blue balls. As long as you're polite and handle rejection properly, you should always just go for it.Xun said:
In other news, I saw the creepiest shit yesterday while out. This guy, who was at least some kind of acquaintance with the girl he was talking to, kept kissing her on the cheek and trying to kiss her lips. But she was soooooo uncomfortable with it and obviously not into him. Yet he kept saying "its okay if its just a kiss" and proclaiming how he wanted to come watch her play volleyball at her university. Fucking CREEPY. Holy shit. I swear it sent shivers down my spine.
As much as some girls in the past have annoyed me with attention-whoring, men can really make me feel disgusted to have a penis sometimes.
Krauser Kat
Member
high five. you got this.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Ha. Another girl I'm texting just asked me how tall I am. I said 6'1, and said why. She said it makes her feel more safe being around a tall guy.
Bruce Springsteen
Member
I literally laughed out loud at that
Tall guys = generally more intimidating to other guys = less likely to be attacked or bothered while out in public while with guy
It's a pretty standard line of thought for women.
Bruce Springsteen
Member
Or that tall guys are just simply more desirable and attractive to women, which I have no problem with
Oh yeah, for sure, and the more honest answer in the end.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
I know that, sometimes the girl may be tall, too. I'm going Dutch on this girl. She's attractive, but I'm hoping for the girl I first met on tinder in ocotober goes well, even though I'm keeping my expectations in check. She at least agreed to a date.
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