Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.

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I think they realise it's a pretty massive thing to tell. Also, why would they want to waste time with guys for whom it's an issue?

They're just covering their bases. If something serious develops, they won't need to go "Surprise! here's my son".

If she's like most single mothers, she won't introduce you to the kid for months. The most you'll notice is a lot of her stories involves her kid, and she'll be harder to schedule dates with.

Yep, both of these got it covered.

You should watch About A Boy.
 
I understand that she may just be looking for a quick hookup. Though I don't know why you'd post a picture of your kid on tinder and mention that you're a single mother if that's all she was looking for.

My biggest hold up is I have never been with someone at all and she has a kid.

After typing it out I guess my worries would apply to pretty much everyone considering I'm 28. Can't hurt to message her and get more experience anyway I guess.

Not every single mother is the same, but the one I met up with some years ago was clingy as fuck after a three dates.

Always calling, messaging, trying to get me to meet and spend time with her daughter.
 
Not every single mother is the same, but the one I met up with some years ago was clingy as fuck after a three dates.

Always calling, messaging, trying to get me to meet and spend time with her daughter.
That's what I'm worried kinda about, but I want to finally move forward with this part of life so I'll deal with it if it comes up. Otherwise I'll get some m ch needed experience and move on.
 
Back on the horse.

Had a great date last Wednesday in Studio City. Kissed at the end. Very natural. Has 2nd date last night and I wasn't feeling it. Sweet woman but not right for me and I was upfront. Good date though - tacos and UCB.

Had a date in Silverlake Friday. Cliff's Edge is good. Striped Bass was ace. Stunning woman with a personality I couldn't really fit with. We made out on Sunset Blvd. and said our goodbyes.

Sunday had a date with a beautiful Latina in Pasadena. We're different in a good way and I like it. It might work. Went well, made out at a few points; texts are getting sexual. Date two on Friday night near my place. Her look slays me a bit too.

Going to a hole in the wall in Mar Vista and then some crazy Jurassic Tech museum as a first date with a potential Saturday.

Two other interesting woman in the mix.

Cutting it down quickly. Trying to.


LA dating is fucking crazy.
 
Back on the horse.

Had a great date last Wednesday in Studio City. Kissed at the end. Very natural. Has 2nd date last night and I wasn't feeling it. Sweet woman but not right for me and I was upfront. Good date though - tacos and UCB.

Jelly about all of it. Can't wait to be in a city again. Flying to Austin for a week, then San Antonio for Pax South, then a month in Mexico. Can't do any worse there than I've done in South Jersey the last month...
 
Is asking someone to be your girlfriend after two good dates and lots of texting really that bad of an idea? What about over text if you're too nervous to do it in person?

Nah don't ask, it's 2016 dude. Wait until you're introducing her to someone and say "this is my girlfriend ___", then immediately turn and make direct eye contact with her. Assert your dominance on the relationship, it's sure to work.

(I'm playing lol honestly I don't think there's harm in having that conversation but two dates is way too early imo, I'd wait at least a month before trying to talk out where things are going)

-

I asked a girl in my psych class if she wants to grab lunch before our class on Thursday but she said she has class and won't have time. I'll ask her if she wants to come to the Arab film festival here on campus with me next week and if she shoots that down without a different offer I'll just let that one go ¯_(ツ)_/¯
 
Thanks. I... I... I really like to get to know people. When I meet a woman that I'm attracted to, I like to talk to her friendly and just see who she is. I know that's pretty much suicide though. If you don't quickly show physical desire then you don't stand a chance. But there have been times where I tried to show physical intimacy but I felt like a weirdo and a creepy guy. The best I can do right now with displaying desire for physical intimacy is: "Wow. You look freaking great." Or "You should totally be a model". I'm comfortable with saying that to women but I know its weak.

A small part of me does want to test Kristen to see if she would tell me herself that she had sex with Josh. But then again, what does she even benefit from for telling me she had sex with Josh? I always thought that her laughing and smiling with me was great stuff. Little did I know, she was rocking Josh's world the entire time. I wish I could go back in time to warn my old self from caring about her too much and thinking I was making progress to be her boyfriend one day when in reality... I was going nowhere. That's probably the thing that's bothering me the most: the illusion I had in my head that her smiles and laughs were signs she liked me back.

I was physically cringing reading this. This sounds like someone festering in high school drama. Laughing and smiling can potentially mean she's interested, but instead of spending all of your time trying to read signals and then fantasizing about her being into you, you can simply ask her on a coffee date and get your answer immediately.

You can get to know someone on the actual date, that's the point of dating. A 1-2 hour coffee date is hardly a big time investment, and you've already set up the situation to lean in a romantic direction, rather than befriending her beforehand in an attempt to gather information on whether or not she's worth pursuing.

From your story, it sounds like she's not dating "Josh". If you have the courage and can put aside your feelings of despair, ask her out. Though judging from your last few posts, I can't see any relationship turning out very well with your current mindset on dating and sex. I'd take Zackie's advice and read through this thread - you can learn a lot if you actually absorb and apply the information.
 
That's what I'm worried kinda about, but I want to finally move forward with this part of life so I'll deal with it if it comes up. Otherwise I'll get some m ch needed experience and move on.

I once had a woman bring her 3 year old to our first date at a bar. There was no second date.

But most single moms I dated were fine. They're just looking to get out of the house and away from the kid and have some fun. They tended to be pretty easy for quick hookups if that's what you're looking for.
 
Something about older women these days just gets me going. I'm 29 now but I pretty much find that I can't date any lady younger than 25ish.
 
Praying to the Dating-GAF gods that I get some tinder matches here in Texas this week. This hostel is a real sausage-fest. Sucks.

Being an old man who loves "yacht rock," I'm going to see Christopher Cross and Michael MacDonald tonight here in Austin. Maybe I'll pick up an older chick ;)
 
Praying to the Dating-GAF gods that I get some tinder matches here in Texas this week. This hostel is a real sausage-fest. Sucks.

Being an old man who loves "yacht rock," I'm going to see Christopher Cross and Michael MacDonald tonight here in Austin. Maybe I'll pick up an older chick ;)
Have you ever been to Japan? What's the Tinder scene like there? Spending some time there in April, and wouldnt say no to a hook-up or two.
 
man I totally forgot I had opened Tinder for a few minutes when I went out of town for a wedding over the weekend. Opened up today while sitting on the toilet and got 9 matches in a row, all 250+ miles away lmao

:)

edit: wait, no, make that :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)


there may be not enough happy smiley faces in the world to describe how i feel right now

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I just got flaked on two nights in a row by the same girl. After this and recently getting ghosted by someone in what looked pretty promising, dating just does not feel worth it right now. There's also this constant pressure to be or act like someone other than myself because there's this whole dating game and I really hate it. Might take a hiatus for a bit, feeling really burnt out.
 
Have you ever been to Japan? What's the Tinder scene like there? Spending some time there in April, and wouldnt say no to a hook-up or two.

I had a bunch of matches, but nothing really came of it. They're out there, though! I found a girl on Skout pretty quickly and we became kind of serious, so I didn't use Tinder long.

man I totally forgot I had opened Tinder for a few minutes when I went out of town for a wedding over the weekend. Opened up today while sitting on the toilet and got 9 matches in a row, all 250+ miles away lmao



P1QYppj.gif

It's those sexy photos of yours, bro.
 
Told girl I've been seeing for a few months that I liked her and asked her if she saw us going anywhere. Tearing up, she said she's thought about it but she was still pretty hurt by her last relationship(s) and promised herself she wouldn't get into one this year at least. I thought I handled like a champ, especially considering the dumb shit I've said before to other girls. She even mentioned that she read an article recently about 'nice guys' and how I'm not like them because I'm a genuine nice guy. She asked me if this would change anything between us, told her it wouldn't on my part but I decided I 'd stop texting her unless she inititates.

So, I definitely did the right thing here right? Some of my friends think I still have a chance, but I've no intention of hanging on to that lol.
 
Told girl I've been seeing for a few months that I liked her and asked her if she saw us going anywhere. Tearing up, she said she's thought about it but she was still pretty hurt by her last relationship(s) and promised herself she wouldn't get into one this year at least. I thought I handled like a champ, especially considering the dumb shit I've said before to other girls. She even mentioned that she read an article recently about 'nice guys' and how I'm not like them because I'm a genuine nice guy. She asked me if this would change anything between us, told her it wouldn't on my part but I decided I 'd stop texting her unless she inititates.

So, I definitely did the right thing here right? Some of my friends think I still have a chance, but I've no intention of hanging on to that lol.

Good on ya for stopping texting her. Me personally, the "will this change anything between us" question always in my mind is like "well duh".

I would just move on man. If you have been seeing a girl for a few months and she said no relationships I think you should just flatout cut contact. If people already know they are not going to date or go gf/bf territory I prefer they dont waste months of my life.
 
Told girl I've been seeing for a few months that I liked her and asked her if she saw us going anywhere. Tearing up, she said she's thought about it but she was still pretty hurt by her last relationship(s) and promised herself she wouldn't get into one this year at least. I thought I handled like a champ, especially considering the dumb shit I've said before to other girls.

I'll take this opportunity to state once again that you showed guts by going for that girl in the "please respond" thread. Plenty of people in that thread who gave you the usual bullshit advice of "confidence, bro!" had NEVER asked a girl out in their lives. If I didn't get banned for it I would quote you specific people who just jumped on the train to make themselves feel like "ladies men", while posting on this very same forum how they couldn't even look a girl in the eyes.
Here you showed once again a great attitude: if confidence is what you are looking for, well confidence is going for what you want and it's not "wait three days to reply to a text". That's what you did here. You did good.

She even mentioned that she read an article recently about 'nice guys' and how I'm not like them because I'm a genuine nice guy.

This made me chuckle: she was trolling you to get even more validation out of the interaction, since apparently rejecting you wasn't enough.

She asked me if this would change anything between us, told her it wouldn't on my part but I decided I 'd stop texting her unless she inititates.

This was a mistake. You said you were ok with it, nothing should have changed. This is not going to work. What (might) have worked was keeping your word and show that you weren't phased by being rejected. Keep in touch with her. Girlfriends who are "just girls who are your friends" are great if you treat them AND yourself with respect.

So, I definitely did the right thing here right? Some of my friends think I still have a chance, but I've no intention of hanging on to that lol.

I think she is unsure about how to handle the situation, I don't think she unsure about what she feels for you. That's why it might look like she is still unresolved. Move on, but keep her around and don't change your relationship with her by quitting texts.
If you show that you aren't phased by a rejection she will feel comfortable around you and become a real friend.
 
This was a mistake. You said you were ok with it, nothing should have changed. This is not going to work. What (might) have worked was keeping your word and show that you weren't phased by being rejected. Keep in touch with her. Girlfriends who are "just girls who are your friends" are great if you treat them AND yourself with respect.

I think she is unsure about how to handle the situation, I don't think she unsure about what she feels for you. That's why it might look like she is still unresolved. Move on, but keep her around and don't change your relationship with her by quitting texts.
If you show that you aren't phased by a rejection she will feel comfortable around you and become a real friend.

I disagree. What he wants isn't what she wants. There's no point in hanging around hoping she'd change her mind. Don't be that guy who goes "oh she rejected me but we're still friends and it's totally not awkward at least until she starts dating someone else and then I realize I still have feelings for her but I don't want to ruin anything so I'll just suck it up and be miserable until she breaks up with him but even then she won't run into my arms."

If he can set aside his feelings for her and view her as a friend, then sure, keep in touch. But still, limit contact. Letting her initiate anything is a good move. Don't wait around for her.
 
GAF, I'm confused. Yesterday I saw the girl who told me she started Tinder back up again because she "was bored" (she was the one who brought it up on the first date) for the third time. She made us pancakes, I played her the guitar, we had good fun and it turned into a 8h hangout session at my place with some making out but not more.

Today I snapchatted her that I was tired so I was gonna watch disney movies with chips, and asked if she knew someone who might like that. She came over and we watched Aladdin. Afterwards more making out, but this time I tried to make more moves which she sort of (I'm not 100% sure) rejected by not moving her hands away from the bottom of her shirt when I tried to get there. Politely took (what I interpreted it as) the hint and a bit later she left because her sister had made food at home. I don't think her going home has anything to with things, she is getting up early and had way too little sleep last night because she was at my place until way past midnight.

However I'm not sure what to make of this. I initially took the "was bored" comment as that she was not looking for anything serious, so I went in cautiously. I then sort of suspected her to be disappointed when a 8 hour hangout at my place didn't turn into sex. But then she came over today again, but rejected my advances.

As I see it, there are two scenarios here. Either she was looking for only sex and wanted it today, but bailed out in the last moment. Or she doesn't feel comfortable/ready or whatever.
EDIT: Just figured that a third possible scenario is that she's on her period. But wouldn't you just say that outright then?

How do I play this from now on?
 
You tried to get laid after watching a cartoon? That's kinda creepy, maybe she got weirded out.

Kidding. I think you are just waiting to long to make your move and she is legit tired/bored by the time you are doing it and the mood is gone.
 
man I totally forgot I had opened Tinder for a few minutes when I went out of town for a wedding over the weekend. Opened up today while sitting on the toilet and got 9 matches in a row, all 250+ miles away lmao

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Lol I found that too. I went to my friend's place last night which was closer to the city and got a handful of matches last night. It's because a lot of people just keep their mile radius zones to like 20 miles tops.
 
I just got a disturbing phone call from a good friend of mine. He told me that another guy (who we both know) told my good friend that he had sex with a woman… this woman is someone who I really liked. My good friend (let’s call him “Ger”) sadly told me everything the guy (let’s call him “Josh” said in vivid detail. Josh was pretty much bragging about how he had sex with the woman (let’s call her “Kristen”).

I genuinely thought there was chemistry between Kristen and I. I really freaking did. The way she smiled at me… laughed at my jokes…. All that time she was having sex with another guy. And to think I foolishly thought I had a chance! HA! I’m laughing at myself!
Josh apparently claims Kristen and him both saw it as just sex. Not a “relationship” but just only sex. Now I am virgin but I still consider just having sex with a person as a relationship. Just because you aren’t going to movies or dinner or other date situations… doesn’t mean it’s not a relationship.

I’m gonna get over this but right now this hurts like crazy. I REALLLYYYYY liked her. I even overcame the “she’s out of my league” mindset. Looking back on it, I didn’t think Kristen and Josh would get together because they never really talked that much when I saw them in the same room. Kristen almost always came to laugh and joke with me. But there were times were they looked at each other weird…

Time to drown myself in video games and music. They oughta cheer me up.

*hugs*

Been there. Still there. Realize there are other girls out there and Kristen is not interested in you romantically. It's tough to move on but its what you have to do.
 
I'll take this opportunity to state once again that you showed guts by going for that girl in the "please respond" thread. Plenty of people in that thread who gave you the usual bullshit advice of "confidence, bro!" had NEVER asked a girl out in their lives. If I didn't get banned for it I would quote you specific people who just jumped on the train to make themselves feel like "ladies men", while posting on this very same forum how they couldn't even look a girl in the eyes.
Here you showed once again a great attitude: if confidence is what you are looking for, well confidence is going for what you want and it's not "wait three days to reply to a text". That's what you did here. You did good.

Can you post a link to that thread? Just curious
 
You tried to get laid after watching a cartoon? That's kinda creepy, maybe she got weirded out.

Kidding. I think you are just waiting to long to make your move and she is legit tired/bored by the time you are doing it and the mood is gone.

Hm, I guess maybe. She was only there for about two hours (1,5 of which was the movie) and I kinda wanted to watch the movie lol. We mostly cuddled during with some kissing, then I tried to make moves after it.
 
Okay, I feel like my luck on OKC's been even worse than usual, so I thought I'd ask for some advice. Here's ma profile:

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Apoplexyglass?cf=profile

Thoughts and suggestions?

My only comment would be to remove the thing about gaming.

Don't be ashamed of your hobbies. Just say you like gaming. No need to justify it to anyone.

I say this from personal experience. I used to hide that I play games or try and pretend I liked other things more. I've lately found that the more upfront and honest/confident I am about my hobbies, the more people are interested and respectful.

And if someone's willing to discount you for that fact alone, it never would have worked out anyways.
 
Really? I haven't met that many of them :P The video game club at university was a complete sausage fest, you were lucky if you had 1 or 2 girls go.

There's a difference between liking video games and wanting to join a video game club. Almost every girl I've dated in the past couple years has been a
dirty casual
mobile game player. But they don't play COD or JRPGs. More like Tsum Tsum ;)
 
Really? I haven't met that many of them :P The video game club at university was a complete sausage fest, you were lucky if you had 1 or 2 girls go.

Sometimes they hide it or have to treat their hobby like a dirty secret because it upsets certain types, or because it has caused them to be ostrasized in their youth. Or so they filter people more strictly because of the potentially unwanted attention it can attract.
 
Sometimes they hide it or have to treat their hobby like a dirty secret because it upsets certain types, or because it has caused them to be ostrasized in their youth. Or so they filter people more strictly because of the potentially unwanted attention it can attract.

back in the States i stopped playing games on public transport because of all the awkard nerds and strange people wanting to talk to me, can only imagine what it would be like to be a girl gamer D:
 
back in the States i stopped playing games on public transport because of all the awkard nerds and strange people wanting to talk to me, can only imagine what it would be like to be a girl gamer D:

Let's just say I slowly became more and more comfortable over the years with having shorter and shorter hair, and dressing like a tomboy or skid. I've begun to allow myself female attributes recently, slowly.
 
Really? I haven't met that many of them :P The video game club at university was a complete sausage fest, you were lucky if you had 1 or 2 girls go.
Well, as most gaming communities are, they attract a disproportionate amount of males. I wouldn't be surprised that some women just don't want to be bothered with a gang of potentially socially awkward guys.

Just from the stigma that the word "gamer" has, I would exclude it from the profile.

----

There's this girl in one of my classes that is pretty headstrong when talking to me. We've known of each other since last semester since I helped her with her skills on a pottery wheel out of pity.

Ever since then, she's been obviously approaching me out of interest. For instance, one day it got unusually cold in the Bay, and me being the typical bro, I was wearing shorts. She gets like, no joke, not even a half a foot away from my face suggesting that she was cold. Close enough for it to be awkward.

She is fairly good looking with super bright hazel eyes and dirty blonde hair and really athletic slim body. (I like a bit more, but hey.)

Now that I think of it, I don't even know her name, but she probably know since I was one of the more skilled people in the room.

I'm not even interested in dating exactly, but I keep getting occurrences like this that make me want to try.

My main problem with dating is showing that you care about the other and spending time with them, but my other problem is that I like to do some things alone. With that, and having to make yourself able to appeal to the person you're looking for, whether it is dressing well (which I have been dressing like a post-tropical lumberjack on a sailboat as of lately.), and trying to make yourself seem more interesting than you are (many people that speak with me find that I am interesting, for reasons I don't know about.).

I guess I'll kick my feet up and see how this turns out. I might have to drop this new class, so I'm going to have to get her number.
 
Really? I haven't met that many of them :P The video game club at university was a complete sausage fest, you were lucky if you had 1 or 2 girls go.

You needed a better video game club. The one I ran had ~20 members, 6 of which were female.

As much as I'd like a gaming girlfriend, I felt like that limited the pool too much. Now I just meet up with anyone and see what common ground we can find.
 
Finding a girl who isn't a gamer can be great. My wife has no interest in video games and it's fantastic because it allows me to have my own hobby/alone time. The longer you're in a relationship, the more you'll (likely) cherish your alone time.
 
Even better- you could find the unicorn that is a girl who enjoys video games just as much as you do.

Girls who enjoy video games aren't hard to fine. You just have to be open to the fact that they may not want to play Bloodborne for 10 hours or some shit.

Find me a girl that wants to just sit in a room, drink a bit, throw on some mellow mixtape rap and converse for hours. . .in middle of no where Canada. I dare you haha.
 
I've dated girls that play videogames but I personally do not like it. I much prefer dating someone with their own unique hobbies that we can do in tandem & dabble in each others hobbies.
 
Well, time for me to officially ask for advice. I wasn't planning on making any moves with girls until I eatablished myself, like purchasing a car and getting a new sleek/professional wardrobe (I have two part time jobs), but she's gorgeous so I'll make an exception.

Story goes like this, I'm at work, I tutor accounting at my formal community college. I'm recovering from a sickness, but my voice is hoarse so I don't want to talk unless sometime needs tutoring assistance or whatever. Idk how these people can understand me. Anyway, later in the evening she comes in when I looked at her, she looked like someone I knew. My first crush in fact, and she even has the same name. I guess I just like girls with the specific look they have, idk I never thought about having a type or anything. Whatever the case, I coildn't talk to her with my voice, so I just put it on hold. Maybe if I see her again I'll do something, plus I could get some advice from those with an outsider perspective.

How do I talk to a girl I'm interested in in a place of work where I also feel like I'm in a position of power of her since I'm one of the tutors for the class she's in? Do I just go about it quickly so we can move on with our business? Any good tips for a recovery if she says she has a boyfriend?
 
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