Yes, of course. But the question is what to do.
Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
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Yes, of course. But the question is what to do.
Welp, my life has become a source of entertainment. Only really four options to be honest:
- I let it go
- I cower out
- She has a boyfriend or just isn't feeling it
- I get her number and I plan something
ZackieChan
Member
What do you like to do? Do that, as long as it's something she might enjoy as well.
Something slightly outside of both of your comfort zones but not something that completely freaks you two out either.
hydrophilic attack
Member
Well, I wasn't really feeling it with this girl. Don't think I'll continue with her. Also, we seemed to be looking for slightly different things. I'm pretty sure she liked me quite a bit more than I liked her, and I think she would have been up for a relationship. But I don't think we were really compatible. We talked it through like adults, so I hope there are no bad feelings on her end.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Right and if it was one of the first dates I wouldn't think much of it but I figured at this point I was out of that. Even more so with how our last date went.
How do you make it official in your mind?
What city do you live in?
Gothenburg, Sweden
First off, beautiful city.
Second, the five minutes I have been googling, it looks like there is a ton of things to do.
Hit up:
Gothenburg Museum of Art
Universeum
Aeroseum (There is coffee and a flight simulator here)
Horticultural Gardens
The Natural History Museum
Keillers Park (hike up to get a view of the city)
Gunnebo Palace
I also see in some pictures that there is a Ferris Wheel. Hot chocolate/coffee and Ferris Wheel date.
Now, of course I don't know where you live and how far those things are from you, or how much they would cost you, but those ideas are completely different from the dates you have had so far.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
I think some form of a relationship with a girl that added me on Facebook and messaged me out of the blue (we were flirting back and forth) isn't going to ever work out. She lives in a different city to me (not ridiculously far, but still) and she only wants a serious relationship and not casual sex, sadly. I asked her what kind of relationship was she looking for, being totally honest about my intentions about not being into long distance relationships, but I said to her that 'we could book a hotel room somewhere and act on all that flirting if you're into that', but, unfortunately she wasn't into hookups at all.
ZackieChan
Member
Damn, you went in.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
DatingAge taught me well.
ZackieChan
Member
I guess if that's what you were looking for, then good.
But from your other posts it sounded like you have almost zero experience with women. Seems a little fast to be going to "fuck me or gtfo," but maybe that's just me
Just had a mutual break up after dating for a few months. The passion sort of started to disappear and our interests just weren't at the same level. When we talked it felt like a huge burden was off my shoulder but it's been like an hour and while I don't regret our decision, I do feel a little bit empty. I know it will get better I just want it to come sooner.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
Rephrased that post into something hopefully more understandable. I essentially asked her if a short term fling was something she was into because I really dislike the idea of having a serious long distance relationship, but I still found her attractive. She, sadly, wasn't into casual sex.
ZackieChan
Member
I guess the weird thing is that you didn't even give it a chance. But oh well, you do you!
I'd say the wording was a bit...strong...with mentioning booking a hotel room and stuff (I'd just say "I'm not looking for anything serious right now" and leave it at that), but nothing wrong with being upfront about what you want.
EpitaphUnmei
Banned
Be like. thats good want to Netflix and chill?
Haha. You see I'd file that under insensitive, might as well ask for the duppy and leave.
EpitaphUnmei
Banned
My god, thats like suicide try to recover.
EpitaphUnmei
Banned
dont have to say it so bluntly just make it smooth your way its she either like you or not, just dont wait forever to ask her to hang out.
Date Two with S last night - she invited me to karaoke in DTLA with her friends for their bday. Kinda soon but it was spur of the moment after we had other plans. Went well, heavy petting/touching/making out. Her best friend and I hit it off and I also nailed my song during karaoke. She's very pretty and a good woman on the surface. Hiking next weekend in Malibu.
Date One with St today - texted a bunch and met for lunch. Went okay and then went to the Jurassic Museum where we opened up. Was quaint and romantic in some little ways and some randomly awesome ways. Kissed. We work well.
@Oblivion we should meet up. I'm in Sherman Oaks regularly.
Date One with St today - texted a bunch and met for lunch. Went okay and then went to the Jurassic Museum where we opened up. Was quaint and romantic in some little ways and some randomly awesome ways. Kissed. We work well.
@Oblivion we should meet up. I'm in Sherman Oaks regularly.
Is there some gymnastical way you can say there was an obstruction to interaction? How did you say it exactly?
Optional line ideas:
1) I got nervous when I saw because I was already thinking about you
2) If I said hi I knew I'd just keep talking to you and I had to be somewhere
3) I had to be somewhere
4) I think you saw me too Were you nervous?
I told her I wasn't sure if it was her because I'm bad at recognizing faces, but I don't think she believes me. Oh well.
What was the proximity? Since you've already played your card, don't play again. If she comes back, she comes back. If not, move on.
I moved on, never had a chance with her.
How do I make a girl know that I'm romantically interested? I went out with this girl yesterday and had a great time with her. I'm just worried I might have already entered the dreaded friendzone. I'm not sure we were in the same place yesterday. Even though I'm quite confident she had a great time, I'm not sure she considered our lunch as a date... A little background: this girl used to live very close to me and since her workplace is very close to mine and she doesn't have a car, I used to drop her at her job daily. Then she moved... And I didn't stay in touch because she told me she had a boyfriend. This is until a few day ago, she texted me and said that she had missed me and wanted us to hang out more often. I'm confused... Am I already in the friend zone? If so, how do i get out of it?
So a week ago i had a date, went awesome made out and had great chemistry. Yesterday we were suppose to go out again, last min she cancels but wants to set something else up next week, or lunch today. I work all day today so cant do that. What is your thoughts on this? I hate flakes and was half the mind to just not engage her again and look for something else, yet i get the feeling that if i give it time things could work out. Think i should keep after her, she is really cool. Or am I doomed and should keep looking for something new? I know pretty stupid, i did respond and just say "OK keep in touch and let me know if you have time and want to hangout sooner"
Why did she cancel? She wants to set something up, so no need to worry too much. It would've been today, but you're busy, so just chill until she contacts you. Keep yourself open for other girls as well. Don't overly focus on this one.
While cancelling last minute is shitty, she wanted to reschedule so you should assume she is still into you.
I don't know if this the right thread for it, but I'd like to have a discussion on having more sex. I'd outsource this on GAF as a whole but I dunno if that's wise.
Someone told me, since I've shed a decent amount of weight, I should think about things I felt shy and awkward about back when I was obese. I look at myself now, and I don't see someone who's ugly anymore (or, perhaps ever was, but that's besides the point).
At first, I was confused about his words since I've been making an attempt to do the things I want to do, like traveling more. But until recently, I've realized I've sort of put my own sexual drives on some sort of shelf and resorted to pretty much abstaining from dating or even going for casual sex. I did this because in the relationships I had prior? I wasn't happy about myself. This made sex not as enjoyable because I kept thinking "Why is this girl even letting me do this to her?" and "I'm not even good enough." Sex became more like a mandatory thing I felt like I had to pursue instead of going after it because I wanted to. To avoid any sort of conflict about it mentally, I resigned myself to my apartment. I don't think I got addicted to porn, but I think I came close.
So now, I'm ~35lbs lighter. I still heading toward my goal (lower BF% and/or healthy BMI). I compared pics of myself a year ago and before to now and I look better. I feel better too. Yeah, my depression is still there but I'm not as 'harsh' on myself as I used to be and my moods don't stop me from hitting the gym, and as I just proved today, it doesn't stop me from jogging a mile (something I just did and haven't done since I was a middle schooler!).
I've always been a sort of...promiscuous person. In my sadness, I sort of gave up on trying to share that side of me with others and kept it to myself. Now I want to have more sex and enjoy it more.
The problem? I don't know how. I'm in a weird mind about it. Some folks say to 'fuck girls who are below your standards' and I don't like that mentality idk. Perhaps I'm in denial, but I feel like I should sleep with someone I'm actually attracted to as long as what I'm attracted to isn't so absurd and ridiculously high maintenance (and it's not).
I want to show a girl a good time as well as have one on my own. I honestly can't remember the last time I felt like this, or perhaps this is the first time? No clue, but I'm lost.
Feel free to ask questions in case more info is needed. I figured I'd ask here because it's kind of hard to ask online "How do you have more casual sex?" and not be sent toward PUA shit.
Someone told me, since I've shed a decent amount of weight, I should think about things I felt shy and awkward about back when I was obese. I look at myself now, and I don't see someone who's ugly anymore (or, perhaps ever was, but that's besides the point).
At first, I was confused about his words since I've been making an attempt to do the things I want to do, like traveling more. But until recently, I've realized I've sort of put my own sexual drives on some sort of shelf and resorted to pretty much abstaining from dating or even going for casual sex. I did this because in the relationships I had prior? I wasn't happy about myself. This made sex not as enjoyable because I kept thinking "Why is this girl even letting me do this to her?" and "I'm not even good enough." Sex became more like a mandatory thing I felt like I had to pursue instead of going after it because I wanted to. To avoid any sort of conflict about it mentally, I resigned myself to my apartment. I don't think I got addicted to porn, but I think I came close.
So now, I'm ~35lbs lighter. I still heading toward my goal (lower BF% and/or healthy BMI). I compared pics of myself a year ago and before to now and I look better. I feel better too. Yeah, my depression is still there but I'm not as 'harsh' on myself as I used to be and my moods don't stop me from hitting the gym, and as I just proved today, it doesn't stop me from jogging a mile (something I just did and haven't done since I was a middle schooler!).
I've always been a sort of...promiscuous person. In my sadness, I sort of gave up on trying to share that side of me with others and kept it to myself. Now I want to have more sex and enjoy it more.
The problem? I don't know how. I'm in a weird mind about it. Some folks say to 'fuck girls who are below your standards' and I don't like that mentality idk. Perhaps I'm in denial, but I feel like I should sleep with someone I'm actually attracted to as long as what I'm attracted to isn't so absurd and ridiculously high maintenance (and it's not).
I want to show a girl a good time as well as have one on my own. I honestly can't remember the last time I felt like this, or perhaps this is the first time? No clue, but I'm lost.
Feel free to ask questions in case more info is needed. I figured I'd ask here because it's kind of hard to ask online "How do you have more casual sex?" and not be sent toward PUA shit.
IGHT good advice, she cancelled cause she had prep work to do and needed to get to it. What ever that means.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
I honestly think that my desire for non-committal, casual sex stems from missing out on that whole scene during university (3 years, was a mediocre time both socially and academically, sadly). I'm really jaded, in a rut and really depressed right now and have been for quite a long time now, so pursuing those kinds of relationships is appealing on so many levels because it would make me feel better about myself and make myself feel like a worthy human being after so many years of thinking that I'm not. I feel like I'm really rushing things right now because I'm trying to 'make up for lost years' psychologically. Recently turned 23 and finally figured out that time isn't on my side anymore. That experience gap grows wider with each year that passes.
Honestly, I didn't feel like dating Facebook girl (for a serious, committed relationship) because I get the impression that she's kinda crazy, she told me in our last convo that she was quite religious (whether it's the no sex before marriage kind of religious I can't say for sure, but I was showing mostly sexual interest and she seemed to show purely emotional interest, so that is plausible) and as I said before the idea of a LDR doesn't appeal to me. Everyone I know who's dated long distance has eventually had that relationship crumble sooner rather than later.
Honestly, I didn't feel like dating Facebook girl (for a serious, committed relationship) because I get the impression that she's kinda crazy, she told me in our last convo that she was quite religious (whether it's the no sex before marriage kind of religious I can't say for sure, but I was showing mostly sexual interest and she seemed to show purely emotional interest, so that is plausible) and as I said before the idea of a LDR doesn't appeal to me. Everyone I know who's dated long distance has eventually had that relationship crumble sooner rather than later.
I don't mean to alarm you, but you are still really young and far from outside of a time that seeking out casual encounters is unheard of.
Pasta_Soup
Member
I think the sooner you let go and stop fixating on your "missed years" of casual hookups in college, the sooner you'll find more success with women. It's just putting more and more unnecessary and self-created pressure on yourself for something that doesn't matter. And you are outright saying you would feel more valuable as a person if you were hooking up regularly. Basing your self worth as a human being on your sexual success isn't healthy or productive. It also gives off a subconscious vibe to other people, resulting in you seeming less attractive than you could be. Instead, think about what you can do in your life other than fucking girls that would make you feel valuable.
In college - I only had 1 sexual relationship and it was halfway through my senior year - and it was a complete emotional clusterfuck of a situation. Well, now I'm nearly 25, and I'm dating consistently and it's easier than ever. If anything, it becomes easier as you get older - as I'm sure you can also see by a lot of the other posters in this thread who find success regularly. You have PLENTY of time.
And yeah, definitely do not force a LDR relationship with someone you obviously aren't compatible with just because there's a change of some type of physical intimacy.
There was some girl I met in middle school that I had a lil thing with. Things didn't work out, but she would usually text me once a year/every other year for the last 7-8 years. I answered at the start but stopped answering after 4 years(she was engaged the last 3 years).
For shits and giggles, I messaged her today(I'm pretty sure I remembered the number right), congratulating her on her engagement. There was no ill intention and have no interest in getting back. I really just wanted to bother her for a change and I was bored.
She blocks me and changes phone number over night.
w.....t......f
For shits and giggles, I messaged her today(I'm pretty sure I remembered the number right), congratulating her on her engagement. There was no ill intention and have no interest in getting back. I really just wanted to bother her for a change and I was bored.
She blocks me and changes phone number over night.
w.....t......f
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Why the hell are you so obsessed with these "mixed years"? The only reason you're unhappy is the weird rules your attaching to stuff. You don't have to date that woman but there's nothing to catch up on and if 23 is over the hill for having sex or a relationship then we would all be fucked. You have a really bad mindset about things, I would talk to someone about it.
What do you mean wtf? It's weird and partially creepy to text people you haven't spoken to in years like that. If be worded out if someone I haven't talked to since middle school texted me about getting engaged. I don't think it's a ludicrous response from her.
She's been texting me for the last 8 years though. Its strange to actually reply back?
You stopped answering after 4 years, implying you ignored her for the last 3-4. She probably thought you changed your number and deleted your contact info. Then she gets a text from a number she doesn't recognize.....
I can see that, but changing your number? Just seems a bit drastic.
n64coder
Member
How do you know she changed her number? From another common friend?
She may have wanted to prevent further contact to avoid disrupting her current relationship.
I'm sort of in Royal Phalanx's position as well where I feel like I've missed out on the phase of my life where I should've been having sex regularly. When I word it out in this post, I guess it does look silly. I'm 25, but I won't lie that I do feel bad and sort of disappointed in myself. This is the first time in my life I actually feel like I'm a 'good enough' person to actively pursue sex. Not saying I believe I'm owed sex due to losing weight, but that I'm now more attractive and I have no qualms now with putting myself out there in hopes someone finds me attractive.
TMI about sex below in spoiler tags:
Put her in the crazy list in your brain and move on, or hit her up on FB or w/e and ask her if everything's okay since all you were doing was congratulating her.
TMI about sex below in spoiler tags:
Last night, I brought a girl over to my place. After watching Netflix and eating dinner, we had sex. It was disappointing because I couldn't remain hard and ended up wasting condoms because of it. I believe it was because I masturbated earlier that day. She seemed cool with it since she enjoyed her time with me, and she wants to met to hit her up later this week. I've decided I'm not going to masturbate until then.
I don't get it. I feel awkward that I suck at performing. This is compounding into my overall disappointment in how sparse my sexual experience is, and when I do actually have sex, I'm not having any sort of crazy orgasms. Instead, I'm looking at the act like a task or a job where it's my responsibility to get my partner off. I usually like it when I get sucked off, but this girl wasn't into giving or receiving oral sex.
I don't know if I have a problem physically. I even considered I could possibly not be into women but I feel nothing for guys aside from thinking some dudes are handsome to the point where I can see handsome qualities in myself.
At the moment, I'm thinking I'm just not used to being 'sexual' in the mental and emotional level. I spoke to a friend about it, and he asked me if I cleaned up my place. I did a little, but the thing is that I usually let my apartment get messy because I bring no one over at all. I've never in my life considered myself to be a sexual person because, again, I never had the self-worth to think that.
Is sex usually this...mental? I've always figured it to be a primal, carnal activity but wtf. I dunno if that's my lack of experience talking or my exposure to porn.
Speaking of, I've never come from penetration. This irritates me.
I don't get it. I feel awkward that I suck at performing. This is compounding into my overall disappointment in how sparse my sexual experience is, and when I do actually have sex, I'm not having any sort of crazy orgasms. Instead, I'm looking at the act like a task or a job where it's my responsibility to get my partner off. I usually like it when I get sucked off, but this girl wasn't into giving or receiving oral sex.
I don't know if I have a problem physically. I even considered I could possibly not be into women but I feel nothing for guys aside from thinking some dudes are handsome to the point where I can see handsome qualities in myself.
At the moment, I'm thinking I'm just not used to being 'sexual' in the mental and emotional level. I spoke to a friend about it, and he asked me if I cleaned up my place. I did a little, but the thing is that I usually let my apartment get messy because I bring no one over at all. I've never in my life considered myself to be a sexual person because, again, I never had the self-worth to think that.
Is sex usually this...mental? I've always figured it to be a primal, carnal activity but wtf. I dunno if that's my lack of experience talking or my exposure to porn.
Speaking of, I've never come from penetration. This irritates me.
Put her in the crazy list in your brain and move on, or hit her up on FB or w/e and ask her if everything's okay since all you were doing was congratulating her.
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