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[Gamerloid]

Welp, now life is playing games with me. My hoarse throat is almost fully healed, but I still need to keep quiet for a bit longer. My guess is that it'll be fully restored on Wednesday. The funny part is, on my way to work, I got there 30 minutes early so I was just relaxing outside the room to the lab browsing GAF haha. About 20 minutes until work, an accounting class ended and all the students are leaving.

You can guess who came out... That girl I posted about last time. Welp. What are the odds of that? Nothing to say in this post though, but I am surprised I was able to recognize her. I usually have trouble recognizing faces unless I encounter someone a lot or they have a significant role.

I can only take this as a sign... Hmmmmmmmm....

 

[Salamando]

I'm sort of in Royal Phalanx's position as well where I feel like I've missed out on the phase of my life where I should've been having sex regularly. When I word it out in this post, I guess it does look silly. I'm 25, but I won't lie that I do feel bad and sort of disappointed in myself. This is the first time in my life I actually feel like I'm a 'good enough' person to actively pursue sex. Not saying I believe I'm owed sex due to losing weight, but that I'm now more attractive and I have no qualms now with putting myself out there in hopes someone finds me attractive.

I have a sister who works in a nursing home. There is no end to the phase where you can have sex regularly.

For the rest of the issues...

Spoiler

Lay off the porn and masturbation. Excessive masturbation can condition your penis to only get off with your touch. Your prior porn addiction may have also taught your brain what sex is supposed to be like, so whenever you're with normal girls having normal sex, your head doesn't register it as sex...potentially leading to an inability to stay erect.

Clean your apartment. Not because of girls or who you're bringing over, but so you have a place you can be proud of. Does wonders for your self esteem.

Getting out of your head will help. The more you overthink every action, the easier it is to lose "the moment".

 

[ZackieChan]

Welp, now life is playing games with me. My hoarse throat is almost fully healed, but I still need to keep quiet for a bit longer. My guess is that it'll be fully restored on Wednesday. The funny part is, on my way to work, I got there 30 minutes early so I was just relaxing outside the room to the lab browsing GAF haha. About 20 minutes until work, an accounting class ended and all the students are leaving.

You can guess who came out... That girl I posted about last time. Welp. What are the odds of that? Nothing to say in this post though, but I am surprised I was able to recognize her. I usually have trouble recognizing faces unless I encounter someone a lot or they have a significant role.

I can only take this as a sign... Hmmmmmmmm....

Dude, you are waaaayyyy inside your own head. There is no sign. You wrote a bunch of posts here about this chick, of course you'd recognize her. And seeing her isn't some heaven-sent sign, it's confirmation bias. You probably saw a ton of people you didn't know in the meantime, and you were bound to see her again. Just relax

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

I can see that, but changing your number? Just seems a bit drastic.

How do you know she changed it? If a friend told you then she probably just said it to make sure she wasn't messaged again.

I'm sort of in Royal Phalanx's position as well where I feel like I've missed out on the phase of my life where I should've been having sex regularly. When I word it out in this post, I guess it does look silly. I'm 25, but I won't lie that I do feel bad and sort of disappointed in myself. This is the first time in my life I actually feel like I'm a 'good enough' person to actively pursue sex. Not saying I believe I'm owed sex due to losing weight, but that I'm now more attractive and I have no qualms now with putting myself out there in hopes someone finds me attractive.

TMI about sex below in spoiler tags:

Spoiler

Last night, I brought a girl over to my place. After watching Netflix and eating dinner, we had sex. It was disappointing because I couldn't remain hard and ended up wasting condoms because of it. I believe it was because I masturbated earlier that day. She seemed cool with it since she enjoyed her time with me, and she wants to met to hit her up later this week. I've decided I'm not going to masturbate until then.

I don't get it. I feel awkward that I suck at performing. This is compounding into my overall disappointment in how sparse my sexual experience is, and when I do actually have sex, I'm not having any sort of crazy orgasms. Instead, I'm looking at the act like a task or a job where it's my responsibility to get my partner off. I usually like it when I get sucked off, but this girl wasn't into giving or receiving oral sex.

I don't know if I have a problem physically. I even considered I could possibly not be into women but I feel nothing for guys aside from thinking some dudes are handsome to the point where I can see handsome qualities in myself.

At the moment, I'm thinking I'm just not used to being 'sexual' in the mental and emotional level. I spoke to a friend about it, and he asked me if I cleaned up my place. I did a little, but the thing is that I usually let my apartment get messy because I bring no one over at all. I've never in my life considered myself to be a sexual person because, again, I never had the self-worth to think that.

Is sex usually this...mental? I've always figured it to be a primal, carnal activity but wtf. I dunno if that's my lack of experience talking or my exposure to porn.

Speaking of, I've never come from penetration. This irritates me.

Put her in the crazy list in your brain and move on, or hit her up on FB or w/e and ask her if everything's okay since all you were doing was congratulating her.

Also, please don't contact her on Facebook or something else at all. Yes you were congratulating, but for whatever reason she reacted negatively. There's nothing to gain and only makes it worse by forcing more contact.

 

[Gamerloid]

Dude, you are waaaayyyy inside your own head. There is no sign. You wrote a bunch of posts here about this chick, of course you'd recognize her. And seeing her isn't some heaven-sent sign, it's confirmation bias. You probably saw a ton of people you didn't know in the meantime, and you were bound to see her again. Just relax

Heh, being told I'm waaaayyyy inside my own head was actually pretty effective. I was never told that before, but it's true, I automatically over process things. But you do overestimate my ability to recognize people. I mistook a girl for someone I liked before lol. My brain has gotten better at recognizing faces since this though.

Thanks though. Being told to relax was probably the best advice I could get. I wish someone would've told me that with my previous attempts...

 

[Jokab]

First off, beautiful city.

Second, the five minutes I have been googling, it looks like there is a ton of things to do.

Hit up:

Gothenburg Museum of Art
Universeum
Aeroseum (There is coffee and a flight simulator here)
Horticultural Gardens
The Natural History Museum
Keillers Park (hike up to get a view of the city)
Gunnebo Palace

I also see in some pictures that there is a Ferris Wheel. Hot chocolate/coffee and Ferris Wheel date.

Now, of course I don't know where you live and how far those things are from you, or how much they would cost you, but those ideas are completely different from the dates you have had so far.

Sorry forgot to respond to this. Good advice, I mean I know of all these places but they don't immediately pop up in my head when thinking of date activities. I'll keep them in mind!

Only issue as I see it is that they are all daytime activities, to me they don't feel like things you meet up for at night to go do, and she works until evening mon-fri. Kind of don't want to wait until the weekend to meet again, but as I said I also don't want to take her to my place, and other night activities fee kind of lame (like the movies or grabbing drinks).

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

As someone in their late 20's, I disagree that your early-to-mid 20's do not make you "too old", nor are you "missing out". Yes, university is great for meeting people, but unless you take your degree and move into the woods to be a hermit, it's not the end of your social/sex life when you graduate.

A degree opens up new employment opportunities, so you can move places, work somewhere else, and meet others that way. With more money, you can afford to travel more instead of staying in because you're too poor. There are so many options for foreigners and tourists.

Plus, society is changing. I know people in their 30's who go back to school, who have lived in multiple countries, who aren't married and have no intention of settling down. You're not tied to anything, anyone, or anywhere anymore. That's a lot of "any".

If you're in shape emotionally, physically, and financially, you will have no problems meeting people, no matter your age.

 

[n64coder]

Is sex usually this...mental?

Yes, it's very mental. If you're feeling stressed out or have anxiety, you will often not be able to perform. So if you lost your erection, just relax and do something else with her and it will likely come back unless you're not into the experience.

 

[Royal_Phalanx]

As someone in their late 20's, I disagree that your early-to-mid 20's do not make you "too old", nor are you "missing out". Yes, university is great for meeting people, but unless you take your degree and move into the woods to be a hermit, it's not the end of your social/sex life when you graduate.

A degree opens up new employment opportunities, so you can move places, work somewhere else, and meet others that way. With more money, you can afford to travel more instead of staying in because you're too poor. There are so many options for foreigners and tourists.

Plus, society is changing. I know people in their 30's who go back to school, who have lived in multiple countries, who aren't married and have no intention of settling down. You're not tied to anything, anyone, or anywhere anymore. That's a lot of "any".

If you're in shape emotionally, physically, and financially, you will have no problems meeting people, no matter your age.

I'm not saying it's the end, but in my experience building a good social/sex life gets a lot harder, especially if you have better luck in real life than online. The deck is stacked in your favour as an undergraduate, with parties, clubs for a ton of interests, sports, etc. Honestly a lot of my unhappiness also stems from the social side of things (so not only dating/sex) where I had 0 close friends and whilst other students were out having fun I was in my room a lot of the time only playing video games because I was too socially anxious to put myself out there. I resent myself for that. I recently have started to become more comfortable with putting myself out there, but it's always better to do this when it's easy, and not when it's hard. I guess I could go take a Masters' or something, but I hear that I shouldn't expect a undergraduate style social life because most postgrads are too 'grown up' for that kind of lifestyle, which kinda sucks for me since I've never properly experienced it in the first place.

I wish I could believe things will get better, but I find believing in that to be pretty tough when it seems that there's no evidence of that even happening.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

I'm not saying it's the end, but in my experience building a good social/sex life gets a lot harder, especially if you have better luck in real life than online. The deck is stacked in your favour as an undergraduate, with parties, clubs for a ton of interests, sports, etc. Honestly a lot of my unhappiness also stems from the social side of things (so not only dating/sex) where I had 0 close friends and whilst other students were out having fun I was in my room a lot of the time only playing video games because I was too socially anxious to put myself out there. I resent myself for that. I recently have started to become more comfortable with putting myself out there, but it's always better to do this when it's easy, and not when it's hard. I guess I could go take a Masters' or something, but I hear that I shouldn't expect a undergraduate style social life because most postgrads are too 'grown up' for that kind of lifestyle, which kinda sucks for me since I've never properly experienced it in the first place.

I wish I could believe things will get better, but I find believing in that to be pretty tough when it seems that there's no evidence of that even happening.

Dude, you really gotta get over the terrible mindset. There's more to life than fucking more random chicks than the next guy. Why is that the only meaning your life has? If you don't have any friends then MAKE FRIENDS, instead of spending your nights bring upset that somewhere in the world someone has had more sex than you.

Liked you know the actual problems that are causing you to be unhappy and you're doing nothing. Instead you're going to get a masters degree solely in an attempt to fuck more chicks.

You're not going to have an success anyhow if that's the way you approach things and that's the attitude you have. There's nothing desirable about it.

 

[Mediking]

Have you ever ran into a woman you really like and since you haven't seen her in a while... you felt incredibly happy?

Well, I ran into a crush today. I haven't seen her in a good while and I felt super overjoyed in the inside. I don't know what happened but I was incredibly confident and relaxed when I talked to her. I would like to be her boyfriend but at the same time... just talking to her is fine too. I don't know why my heart is content with just talking to her. Yeah, I drool at the thought of kissing her and holding her hand but at the same time... If I can just talk to her... I'm grinning like crazy on the inside.

 

[ZackieChan]

100% agreed. You've built up a perceived future of failure that doesn't reflect reality. And it's poisoning your current situation. Pull it together, man!

Edit: Mediking, that is a friendzone in the making, if there ever was one. The anime gifs seal your fate.

 

[vern]

Have you ever ran into a woman you really like and since you haven't seen her in a while... you felt incredibly happy?

Well, I ran into a crush today. I haven't seen her in a good while and I felt super overjoyed in the inside. I don't know what happened but I was incredibly confident and relaxed when I talked to her. I would like to be her boyfriend but at the same time... just talking to her is fine too. I don't know why my heart is content with just talking to her. Yeah, I drool at the thought of kissing her and holding her hand but at the same time... If I can just talk to her... I'm grinning like crazy on the inside.

lol.

 

[User 479360]

I haven't heard from the girl I went on a couple of days with in a couple of days. We were texting quite a bit. I don't know if it's just circumstance, or if it means anything.

I know it's easy to say that it likely means bad news, but I don't know for sure and perhaps it's just because I haven't texted her much in that span.

I would like to try something with her, but don't know if I feel an incredibly strong connection either.

 

[Mediking]

100% agreed. You've built up a perceived future of failure that doesn't reflect reality. And it's poisoning your current situation. Pull it together, man!

Edit: Mediking, that is a friendzone in the making, if there ever was one. The anime gifs seal your fate.

I'm doomed, eh?

 

[Gamerloid]

Yeah, I drool at the thought of kissing her and holding her hand but at the same time... If I can just talk to her... I'm grinning like crazy on the inside.

Its like you're preparing yourself mentality for when she gets with another man, if she's not already in a relationship with someone else.

 

[Mediking]

Its like you're preparing yourself mentality for when she gets with another man, if she's not already in a relationship with someone else.

I think she's single... I'm not even sure... Never even asked...

 

[Gamerloid]

I think she's single... I'm not even sure... Never even asked...

Well since you like her so much, go ask her out on a date. Make sure she knows it's a date and not some friendly outing too. You'll find out if she's single or if you're in the friendzone with that.

 

[Mediking]

Well since you like her so much, go ask her out on a date. Make sure she knows it's a date and not some friendly outing too. You'll find out if she's single or if you're in the friendzone with that.

I... I don't know how.... But I'm strangely at peace if I find out she's in a relationship or that I'm friendzoned. I don't know why I'm oddly okay if I find that out.

 

[Afrocious]

There's been some good advice in these last few posts. Also thanks for the responses to my sex issues. I guess I really do have a problem, and I've decided to take a step to fix what (most likely) might be an addiction - gonna only wack it off on a Sunday night after I get my paycheck deposited. I think this makes sense since this gives me 2 week periods where I'm not relying on pornography, and as a single dude, if I haven't had sex until that Sunday night before work Monday morning, I may as well give myself some pleasure.

As for the other issues being discussed - this might sound silly and like I'm against the thought when I'm not, but how does one get over the quantifying the amount of sex they have and making comparisons to others and stuff? I personally think the thought doesn't go away, but you'll be so focused on other things to not care about it since thoughts are toothless.

 

[Gamerloid]

I... I don't know how.... But I'm strangely at peace if I find out she's in a relationship or that I'm friendzoned. I don't know why I'm oddly okay if I find that out.

I take it you seriously lack confidence. That's probably why you'd be at peace, because then you don't have to make any moves. Even I knew how to ask a girl out, and I was 20 years old close to 21 when I first had a crush on a girl.

 

[Mediking]

I take it you seriously lack confidence. That's probably why you'd be at peace, because then you don't have to make any moves. Even I knew how to ask a girl out, and I was 20 years old close to 21 when I first had a crush on a girl.

Hahaha I have confidence! Honest!

 

[Sami+]

Them gifs tho. 👀

 

[Afrocious]

Them gifs tho. 👀

 

[Salamando]

As for the other issues being discussed - this might sound silly and like I'm against the thought when I'm not, but how does one get over the quantifying the amount of sex they have and making comparisons to others and stuff? I personally think the thought doesn't go away, but you'll be so focused on other things to not care about it since thoughts are toothless.

Recognize that everyone lies or embellishes their sexual history. Everyone. This also applies to just about anything someone can say about themselves. Income level, how fast they run a mile, the timeframe and budget for which their company will be able to complete their portion of a project even though both are downright ludicrous and as a result you're stuck working with people who it would be more costly to "fire" than it would be to pay whatever it costs them to finish...

Don't forget to focus on your positives.

Hahaha I have confidence! Honest!

Sounds more like you've put this girl on a pedestal. You get your heart all atwitter just from talking to her, and would be content doing nothing but that.

 

[Mediking]

Sounds more like you've put this girl on a pedestal. You get your heart all atwitter just from talking to her, and would be content doing nothing but that.

I just think she's special. Not putting her on a pedestal. She's not above me or anything. Honest.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

I just think she's special. Not putting her on a pedestal. She's not above me or anything. Honest.

No. Reread this.

Well, I ran into a crush today. I haven't seen her in a good while and I felt super overjoyed in the inside. I don't know what happened but I was incredibly confident and relaxed when I talked to her. I would like to be her boyfriend but at the same time... just talking to her is fine too. I don't know why my heart is content with just talking to her. Yeah, I drool at the thought of kissing her and holding her hand but at the same time... If I can just talk to her... I'm grinning like crazy on the inside.

You're clearly putting her on some animu-styled pedestal that's probably guarded by gorgons and shit. It's good that, at least consciously, you're attempting to prevent this, but phrases like "I would like to be her boyfriend" don't logically go with "just talking to her is fine too." And, seriously, drooling at the thought of holding her hand?

I advise you to read this entire thread (and maybe its predecessor threads) from the beginning. It contains a lot of sage advice, the lion's share of which is dedicated to situations similar to yours: where you have feelings for someone but aren't willing or able to act on them.

You felt confident and relaxed when talking to this girl, but you didn't specify the content of the conversation. If things were flowing naturally, why didn't you ask her out? What affirmative steps are you taking to grow a relationship with this girl? Do you have her number? Do you text? Do you chat on Facebook? Do you see each other regularly? (Presumably not.) Your heart shouldn't be content with "just talking to her," because clearly you want more.

 

[Mediking]

No. Reread this.



You're clearly putting her on some animu-styled pedestal that's probably guarded by gorgons and shit. It's good that, at least consciously, you're attempting to prevent this, but phrases like "I would like to be her boyfriend" don't logically go with "just talking to her is fine too." And, seriously, drooling at the thought of holding her hand?

I advise you to read this entire thread (and maybe its predecessor threads) from the beginning. It contains a lot of sage advice, the lion's share of which is dedicated to situations similar to yours: where you have feelings for someone but aren't willing or able to act on them.

You felt confident and relaxed when talking to this girl, but you didn't specify the content of the conversation. If things were flowing naturally, why didn't you ask her out? What affirmative steps are you taking to grow a relationship with this girl? Do you have her number? Do you text? Do you chat on Facebook? Do you see each other regularly? (Presumably not.) Your heart shouldn't be content with "just talking to her," because clearly you want more.

!!!! W-wwwoow..... I understand.... Thanks. I appreciate it.

 

[Llyranor]

Drooling at the thought of holding someone's hand without asking them out is the opposite of confidence.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Drooling at the thought of holding someone's hand without asking them out is the opposite of confidence.

Honestly, the best piece of advice I could offer anyone in the eventual OT6 is that you need to start getting rejected more: you should chase it, rather than fear it. Once it's commonplace, it won't matter anymore. Also, actual relationship problems dwarf "will s/he go out with me?" problems by orders upon orders of magnitude. Finally, and I guess this is trite, but: be the person you want to be with. That pretty much sums it up.

 

[ZackieChan]

Drooling at the thought of holding someone's hand without asking them out is the opposite of confidence.

Sometimes I drool at the thought of responding to posts in this thread, but my heart would be at peace if y'all get laid.

Or at least fap when the paycheck gets deposited.

 

[bluethree]

Honestly, the best piece of advice I could offer anyone in the eventual OT6 is that you need to start getting rejected more: you should chase it, rather than fear it. Once it's commonplace, it won't matter anymore. Also, actual relationship problems dwarf "will s/he go out with me?" problems by orders upon orders of magnitude. Finally, and I guess this is trite, but: be the person you want to be with. That pretty much sums it up.

I would add - rejection isn't always about doing something "wrong" and can often help you avoid girls you aren't necessarily compatible with (like if some girl rejects me for not being enough of an extrovert, which has happened! Wouldn't be happy with someone like that anyway)

I know this thread is all about how to suck less at dating, but remember you should be judging her/how she fits into your life too. Even if you were the most confident guy out there, some girls still wont care, and that's okay.

 

[Xun]

Pretty much hit the nail on the head.

We're not "official" yet, so a lot of my concerns are simply assumptions. I'm 26 and I believe she's nearing 30 from what I can gather. Not a massive difference, but I just fear she'll want to settle down when I'm not at all in that position. She's from Scotland.

I never "played the field", so I guess that's why I'm panicking? It's annoying since I'm a lot more confident now than I once was, I just wish I was like this a lot earlier. I'm trying not to think about it though.

I'm going to hers tonight for a "movie night", so that should be interesting...

Nothing happened unfortunately, although I should be seeing her again soon.

I honestly think that my desire for non-committal, casual sex stems from missing out on that whole scene during university (3 years, was a mediocre time both socially and academically, sadly). I'm really jaded, in a rut and really depressed right now and have been for quite a long time now, so pursuing those kinds of relationships is appealing on so many levels because it would make me feel better about myself and make myself feel like a worthy human being after so many years of thinking that I'm not. I feel like I'm really rushing things right now because I'm trying to 'make up for lost years' psychologically. Recently turned 23 and finally figured out that time isn't on my side anymore. That experience gap grows wider with each year that passes.

You and me both, although I realise that regretting about what I haven't done isn't exactly a good thing to dwell upon. It took me a while to realise that, but now that I do I've had more luck.

I'm starting to break out of my shell, which has been great. The only consequence of this happening now is that I'm not ready for a relationship in many respects and instead feel the need to "live my youth" (despite being 26).

I wish I could've done more when I had arguably better opportunities, but you can't go back so there's no point dwelling upon it. We've all just got to be positive and move forward from our regrets.

 

[Dragonborn]

...

 

[Krauser Kat]

Man guys,so everything is going great with my girl; but just yesterday she was telling me how during the summer of 2014 she kind of went crazy and she had sex with more people than I thought. I knew about 5 guys before me but apparently there was 3 others and shes probably made out with at least 20.

I know she is with me now and she loves me but I don't know why this is bothering. By this point we have probably been intimate more times than she was with all those guys combined but I just can't get it out of my head. I am not sure why and I was wondering if any one else had had a similar experiance and if so how did you get over it. She didn't tell me about the 3 or 4 extra guys because she was afraid I would judge her or look at her differently.

I feel confused guys

She is still the same person she was before the conversation. If you get all fucked in the head by it, you are both proving she was right about thinking men and you would judge her harshly. Its the past, it literally has no effect on the present other than your inner ego thinking she is more "damaged" than you previously thought. She still likes you, and trusts you with this information. Enjoy the trust.

If in the grand scheme of things. A girl who fucked 10 guys goes from ok to marry and damaged goods/deal breaker when you found out she fucked 14 guys. You have to own up to it and end it, and probably feel like shit for it, but at least you were honest with yourself.

 

[pieface]

Right GAF, generally when seeing a new person, how long does it take for you to decide that you are "exclusive"?

I'm going on my 8th date with a girl tonight, we've been having sex since date 3, i've introduced her to some of my friends and family, but she still has dating profiles up and stuff online which is fine, but when do you generally bring up the conversation about being "exclusive"?

 

[Shuggananas]

Right GAF, generally when seeing a new person, how long does it take for you to decide that you are "exclusive"?

I'm going on my 8th date with a girl tonight, we've been having sex since date 3, i've introduced her to some of my friends and family, but she still has dating profiles up and stuff online which is fine, but when do you generally bring up the conversation about being "exclusive"?

Uh if she's met friends and family I'd think things should be exclusive already

 

[gwailo]

Is she still dating other people or is she using the dating sites to chat with them?

 

[pieface]

Well, I don't think she's dating other people. Not sure if she's chatting to anyone either.

I'm not particularly bothered by it as she seems a very straight forward girl, but I was just wondering when people would generally have the "exclusive" chat? Or if they would even bother at all?

Even though we're meeting for the 8th time tonight, we've only actually been seeing each other for just over 2 weeks.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Man guys,so everything is going great with my girl; but just yesterday she was telling me how during the summer of 2014 she kind of went crazy and she had sex with more people than I thought. I knew about 5 guys before me but apparently there was 3 others and shes probably made out with at least 20.

I know she is with me now and she loves me but I don't know why this is bothering. By this point we have probably been intimate more times than she was with all those guys combined but I just can't get it out of my head. I am not sure why and I was wondering if any one else had had a similar experiance and if so how did you get over it. She didn't tell me about the 3 or 4 extra guys because she was afraid I would judge her or look at her differently.

I feel confused guys

It's fine you feel uncomfortable about her not being totally forth coming. But like your girlfriend having sex with people is just reality. If 4 extra guys you domt even know is the tipping point to an otjerwise healthy relationship I feel like there is other shit going on. And like honestly, maybe I just make friends with people who like sex cause I know many girls with counts well over 20. And like, they are in fine committed relationships sooo. . .

 

[Kyne]

Man guys,so everything is going great with my girl; but just yesterday she was telling me how during the summer of 2014 she kind of went crazy and she had sex with more people than I thought. I knew about 5 guys before me but apparently there was 3 others and shes probably made out with at least 20.

I know she is with me now and she loves me but I don't know why this is bothering. By this point we have probably been intimate more times than she was with all those guys combined but I just can't get it out of my head. I am not sure why and I was wondering if any one else had had a similar experiance and if so how did you get over it. She didn't tell me about the 3 or 4 extra guys because she was afraid I would judge her or look at her differently.

I feel confused guys

so..

she was right.

The past is the past. Live in the now.

@Mediking;
Let me put this in a way that you'll understand. Your persona is coming off as one of those loser anime side characters with the big circle glasses crushing on a girl on the far panel. Hold on..

Found it.

Don't be that guy.

Take a minute and dig deep for a bigger set of balls, and then pose a question.

 

[gwailo]

Well, I don't think she's dating other people. Not sure if she's chatting to anyone either.

I'm not particularly bothered by it as she seems a very straight forward girl, but I was just wondering when people would generally have the "exclusive" chat? Or if they would even bother at all?

Even though we're meeting for the 8th time tonight, we've only actually been seeing each other for just over 2 weeks.

2 weeks is too short -- DO NOT bring up any sort of conversation like that or you'll seem really clingy/needy.

In fact, you should never really have a formal conversation about it. If you two end up becoming an exclusive couple, it should happen naturally versus an awkward conversation that someone in junior high might have.

You're seeing her pretty much 2 out of 3 days, just chill -- she likes you and if you push things too much you will scare her off. Honestly, introducing her to friends and (especially) family after only 2 weeks is already pushing it.

 

[Afrocious]

Sometimes I drool at the thought of responding to posts in this thread, but my heart would be at peace if y'all get laid.

Or at least fap when the paycheck gets deposited.

*DaleCooperThumbsUp.gif*

Recognize that everyone lies or embellishes their sexual history. Everyone. This also applies to just about anything someone can say about themselves. Income level, how fast they run a mile, the timeframe and budget for which their company will be able to complete their portion of a project even though both are downright ludicrous and as a result you're stuck working with people who it would be more costly to "fire" than it would be to pay whatever it costs them to finish...

Don't forget to focus on your positives.

Yeah. I do feel positive about myself more than ever, but I guess I'm just not used to it and I'm definitely learning just because one works out, loses weight, etc doesn't make the negative thoughts go away. Though it's extremely cool to see and feel progress physically.

I guess I got another thing chewing at me. It's kind of silly but I'll spit it out. There's this girl I know online who lives in Seattle. I kinda grew to like her despite me living in North Carolina. She's now into this guy she met up there and fawns about him. I both feel bad and I don't want to intervene on her happiness/joy/w/e, and considering I live on the complete opposite coast of her, I know there's little to nothing I can do.

I think I just feel stupid for feeling bad. I know I can't turn my thoughts automatically off, but it still just feels bad.

EDIT:

I think this is indicative of a problem I have. I don't know how to deal or cope with girls I like who I'm cool with who end up going with or liking someone else. This is the second time in my life this has happened, and while this case isn't as big as the first one was, I still don't have a clue what I should do. Again, I'm not trying to steal girls or stop folks from doing whatever they want, but I remain feeling bad about it and try to distance myself away from these girls due to not wanting to feel the negativity inside.

I'm, however, beginning to wonder if the negativity is even a big deal at all. I know thoughts are toothless. Perhaps I should just swallow it, acknowledge and accept its there, and decide if bearing it is worth the friendship.

 

[pieface]

2 weeks is too short -- DO NOT bring up any sort of conversation like that or you'll seem really clingy/needy.

In fact, you should never really have a formal conversation about it. If you two end up becoming an exclusive couple, it should happen naturally versus an awkward conversation that someone in junior high might have.

You're seeing her pretty much 2 out of 3 days, just chill -- she likes you and if you push things too much you will scare her off. Honestly, introducing her to friends and (especially) family after only 2 weeks is already pushing it.

Oh yeah I'm not getting worked up or remotely all that bothered by it, I did ask whether you'd even bother having the conversation at all and I don't think I will. It's just a situation I've never really found myself in before and was curious in how other people deal with it.

Personally, I wouldn't bring it up untill she does.

My friends and family all hang out together so it weren't like I took her out to purposely meet family, we were just out drinking and people joined us!

 

[Mediking]

so..

she was right.

The past is the past. Live in the now.

@Mediking;
Let me put this in a way that you'll understand. Your persona is coming off as one of those loser anime side characters with the big circle glasses crushing on a girl on the far panel. Hold on..

Found it.

Don't be that guy.

Take a minute and dig deep for a bigger set of balls, and then pose a question.

Okay, okay. I get it.

 

[biggersmaller]

Honestly, the best piece of advice I could offer anyone in the eventual OT6 is that you need to start getting rejected more: you should chase it, rather than fear it. Once it's commonplace, it won't matter anymore. Also, actual relationship problems dwarf "will s/he go out with me?" problems by orders upon orders of magnitude. Finally, and I guess this is trite, but: be the person you want to be with. That pretty much sums it up.

This is great advice. I'm 32 and a lot of my married friends are hitting some pretty stressful points in their relationships, begging for the days when they were single. I'm married and have kids - even though my family is the shit - I laugh when I think about the days where I was wringing my hands at the thought of buying a cute girl in the bar a drink.

 

[Sheentak]

Had a pretty strange situation today which just left me feeling confused and awkward.
Met up with this girl i spoke to on okcupid, upon meeting me she was rather quite and would just give one word answers. Clearly she was not that into me which is fine I just thought i will be polite go for a few drinks and be on my way.

We take a while to go to this bar that she mentioned, We are walking for a good 15 minutes, Im trying to make conversation but shes mumbling and giving me one word answers so i cant really do much, then we get to this residential area where its just houses and a few general good stores and she suddenly turns to me and goes "Im going home" I blurt out a confused okay., Then before I can finish my sentence she goes into a full Olympic sprint as in running for her life while im left in the middle of absolutely nowhere
I Just stood there with a bewildered look on my face I guess she thought i was so ugly in real life she had to run home. Sent her a text saying how Im cool with you not liking me but sprinting away is just rude!

While i didnt particular care about her I now feel super self conscious about the way i look , we barely even spoke.. so it must have been the way i look

 

[Jokab]

Sorry forgot to respond to this. Good advice, I mean I know of all these places but they don't immediately pop up in my head when thinking of date activities. I'll keep them in mind!

Only issue as I see it is that they are all daytime activities, to me they don't feel like things you meet up for at night to go do, and she works until evening mon-fri. Kind of don't want to wait until the weekend to meet again, but as I said I also don't want to take her to my place, and other night activities fee kind of lame (like the movies or grabbing drinks).

She suggested drinking beer this Friday. My kind of girl.

 

[Kyne]

Had a pretty strange situation today which just left me feeling confused and awkward.
Met up with this girl i spoke to on okcupid, upon meeting me she was rather quite and would just give one word answers. Clearly she was not that into me which is fine I just thought i will be polite go for a few drinks and be on my way.

We take a while to go to this bar that she mentioned, We are walking for a good 15 minutes, Im trying to make conversation but shes mumbling and giving me one word answers so i cant really do much, then we get to this residential area where its just houses and a few general good stores and she suddenly turns to me and goes "Im going home" I blurt out a confused okay., Then before I can finish my sentence she goes into a full Olympic sprint as in running for her life while im left in the middle of absolutely nowhere
I Just stood there with a bewildered look on my face I guess she thought i was so ugly in real life she had to run home. Sent her a text saying how Im cool with you not liking me but sprinting away is just rude!

While i didnt particular care about her I now feel super self conscious about the way i look , we barely even spoke.. so it must have been the way i look

how does this thread keep getting more and more anime.

if you spoke on OKCupid I assume she knew what you looked like beforehand. As long as you didn't catfish her then I'm sure it wasn't your looks.

 

[Sheentak]

how does this thread keep getting more and more anime.

if you spoke on OKCupid I assume she knew what you looked like beforehand. As long as you didn't catfish her then I'm sure it wasn't your looks.

Picture was even a bad picture of myself honestly. Oh well got another date friday lined up this time im doing it in a shopping mall as I dont want to be stuck in the rain again.

Does anyone else do Coffee shops only for first dates? When i was younger id go out to dinner and stuff but eating a meal with somebody you might not like kinda traps you with them. Coffee you stay 30 mins and if you like them you can always do something else if not you can just leave