Okay, this sounds good. I know she's going to call me out on it within a week though, she calls me out when I'm quiet in class for just one day. And if I say I've been busy, she won't believe me and she'll keep pushing, so I don't know how to handle that. I'll probably just keep insisting I've been busy, because I don't know if telling her what the problem is will be good or bad. I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
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This some good advice and something I needed to read.
Kill Your Masters
Member
Brush her off in a polite way. You don't have to appear mad or sulking, just be indifferent. If she pushes you, walk away, you need to go, you have stuff to do etc. She rejected you, you are hurt, it's about you now and your self respect, not about feeding her ego and making her feel better for rejecting you.
BladeoftheImmortal
Member
Did I miss anything?
ZackieChan
Member
One guy got his dick played with, and the rest of us are up to the same old bullshit.
Hey y'all. First time posting in this thread, mostly because I haven't really been dating the past year or so because reasons. Anyway, I just need someone to talk through this situation with.
Friday night I go out with a close friend. She brings another friend along. Didn't think much of it. Anyway, it becomes clear through the night that my friend's friend is into me, I start buying her shots, and things proceed. We have a great time (or at least I did...) and when I dropped her off yesterday we did the whole "yeah, let's totally do this again sometime thing".
Anyway, this girl is really cool and I don't want this to be a one night stand. I'm on the autism spectrum so I'm completely shit at this sort of thing and need specific advice. How long should I wait before I text her is the most pressing concern. I was going to wait until tomorrow but I dunno. Don't want to appear clingy or anything as that's been a issue in the somewhat distant past.
Friday night I go out with a close friend. She brings another friend along. Didn't think much of it. Anyway, it becomes clear through the night that my friend's friend is into me, I start buying her shots, and things proceed. We have a great time (or at least I did...) and when I dropped her off yesterday we did the whole "yeah, let's totally do this again sometime thing".
Anyway, this girl is really cool and I don't want this to be a one night stand. I'm on the autism spectrum so I'm completely shit at this sort of thing and need specific advice. How long should I wait before I text her is the most pressing concern. I was going to wait until tomorrow but I dunno. Don't want to appear clingy or anything as that's been a issue in the somewhat distant past.
Why in the world would you say that? What would that accomplish?
Okay. If she asks me to go to meals with her, I'll go (sometimes), if she texts me, I'll keep my responses as concise as possible, and I'm not telling her I'm going to this dance thing. I have a group om going with, and that's that. She doesn't need to know I'm going.
Thanks for all the advice, everyone. I really appreciate it.
Krauser Kat
Member
i never understand the anti texting sentiment here. I send thousands of texts was getting laid 1 out of every 3 girls on the second or first date.
The only girls i didnt bang were the ones that i never texted with and just planned more dates.
The only girls i didnt bang were the ones that i never texted with and just planned more dates.
There's nothing wrong with texting, until you make it an issue. A lot of people asking for help here make it an issue. They text too long before asking a date, are content to just ever text, or overthink every text. And with all the nuance that can be lost through texting, for some people it's just better to keep communication to dates.
The weirdest thing just happened to me. I was going to do the laundry, so I emptied my laundry basket and put it in a bag to carry to the laundry room. I get to the laundry room, and as I'm taking out the clothes (mostly underwear since I had run out), I suddenly find a pair of black lace panties. I'm very puzzled by this but keep putting stuff in the washing machine, until I eventually find another pair, exactly like the first pair.
How is this even possible? The only person who has been here since I last did my laundry is the girl I'm currently dating. She's been here twice (Wednesday and Thursday the week before this one), so it kind of has to be her. But why would she hide panties in my laundry - we didn't even have sex (we haven't at all yet, just some cuddling and making out). I'm just so confused now. Do I ask her about this? Did she perhaps expect us to have sex when she came here on either Wednesday or Thursday so she put the panties there for some reason (no idea why) and then forgot about them? Like wtf is even going on.
How is this even possible? The only person who has been here since I last did my laundry is the girl I'm currently dating. She's been here twice (Wednesday and Thursday the week before this one), so it kind of has to be her. But why would she hide panties in my laundry - we didn't even have sex (we haven't at all yet, just some cuddling and making out). I'm just so confused now. Do I ask her about this? Did she perhaps expect us to have sex when she came here on either Wednesday or Thursday so she put the panties there for some reason (no idea why) and then forgot about them? Like wtf is even going on.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
Had a fucking shit day. Don't know if I should even go to the same meetup.com group anymore to be honest. Long story short, some real bullshit transpired at one of the group's events where this girl said that she "preferred using facebook over using her phone" when I asked her for her number on the way home,which is obvious bullshit. Now, she sent a friend request to me when we were talking (before I even asked for her number), but as soon as we part ways and head back home, I accept it, then I believe I was deleted straight after by her. I feel incapable of having a relationship or even socializing like a normal human being at this point. The event seemed really cliquey compared to the last one I went to (held by the same group), so I felt like I was bothering people if I tried talking to them. I'm on the autism spectrum so I have trouble with all this shit anyway. I wish my bastard brain would just shut the fuck up and stop making me feel like shit. Needed to get this off my chest, I'm in a pretty bad mood again. I guess I need a helping hand from GAF again.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Funny enough, this girl now this past Tuesday, I joked saying if we continue texting too much, we won't have anything to talk about when we meet up. She basically said well it wasn't be when it comes to holding a conversation.
But that all changed as the days went by since she says I can hold a conversation, good at quick liners, and playful.
Next time you see her, tell her "guess what I'm wearing?", then show her.
FortuneFaded
Member
Are you absolutely sure they are not yours?
Brilliant idea, what can go wrong?
I own zero pair of panties. I'm quite positive.
FortuneFaded
Member
Well, you now own 2 pairs.
eyeball_kid
Member
If a woman gives you a digital contact (email, FB, etc) instead of a phone number, it's usually because she doesn't feel comfortable enough yet to do so. Or perhaps she just wanted to be friends. I wouldn't classify either reason as 'bullshit'. No idea why she might have deleted your FB connection, though given the anger you're having right now, she might have felt that vibe when you asked for her number, and felt leery. Either way, I know it's hard to feel rejected by someone, but the point is not to take these things personally (and automatically assume bad intentions in the other person).
This story made me laugh so hard. Good luck with the panty mystery.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Jokab: either two things you can do with them: wear them or sniff them.
Did you host your parents recently
Royal_Phalanx
Member
What? Anyway, I'm sorry for ranting in my last post, I was just really frustrated at seemingly not clicking with anyone there and feeling sidelined and isolated. Ugh, my self esteem is still so easily destroyed. Sorry for being a pathetic whiner like usual. None of you deserve to hear my bullshit, I'm not the only person on this planet who has been rejected. I'll try and keep things constructive from now on.
God damn it I quoted the wrong person. That was supposed to go to the panties post whatever.
Anyway, keep your head up. Everyone has Ls, did you know Kate upton was turned down before? It happens.
ZackieChan
Member
Naw, man. We're here to help. Lots of lame girls out there, until you find a cool one. Keep at it!
@Ape - his mom's panties? I can't even.
Tell Kate I'm sorry. That lip tho
@Ape - his mom's panties? I can't even.
Or his dad's.
Tell Kate I'm sorry. That lip tho
Got a date tonight at The York. Kinda trending meh with this one. She's pretty and smart though so we'll see.
Date #2 next Saturday with Heather Graham's doppelgänger. She's interesting and an RN.
Date#4 with dick playerwither is this week.
I don't make it a habit to sleep with multiple people at once so I'm figuring this out.
Date #2 next Saturday with Heather Graham's doppelgänger. She's interesting and an RN.
Date#4 with dick playerwither is this week.
I don't make it a habit to sleep with multiple people at once so I'm figuring this out.
How do you keep track and have the energy for all of this? Like I struggle to talk to one person at a time and a date a week
davidwhangchoi
Member
the first one sounds nice
It's hard sometimes but I've had more in the queue tbh.
Things to note:
I don't constantly text them
I'm busy and they know it
I'm pretty detail-oriented so it's not hard to organize and remember.
Helps that I work from home too I think.
This is what I'm afraid of actually. I'm trying to focus. She's close by too.
ZackieChan
Member
Yeah, being busy and setting the expectation of that business is the way to go. I tell them (truthfully) that I often have to work at night, since I have clients in America or some other time zone (when I'm abroad).
Also, true playas smang on date 1 or 2. Dick playing? Nah, son.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Woof, just had one of the most awkward dates I've ever had. After like 3 hours I had to get out of there and just split. Asked her if something was wrong because she was acting really weird (didn't say acting weird) and she said definitely not. Thankfully I don't have another date planned for a week and a half so I can use that time to regroup. Never wanted out of a date with such a good looking person before. 
I wanted to get some stuff done today but agreed to this because we hadn't had a chance to meet up in the last week or so. Next time I think I'll just cancel so I can work on what I needed to get done today instead. Oh well.
I wanted to get some stuff done today but agreed to this because we hadn't had a chance to meet up in the last week or so. Next time I think I'll just cancel so I can work on what I needed to get done today instead. Oh well.
If you use certain messaging apps, wechat for one, you can search the chat history very easily. I travel a lot and often forget where certain girls are, or their name, or other important details lol. So I can set remarks and tags with key details (location, eagerness, etc.) then if I forget certain things I can use the search function (job, hometown, siblings, age, etc.). Just need to have a method and it's not so hard.
Woof, just had one of the most awkward dates I've ever had. After like 3 hours I had to get out of there and just split. Asked her if something was wrong because she was acting really weird (didn't say acting weird) and she said definitely not. Thankfully I don't have another date planned for a week and a half so I can use that time to regroup. Never wanted out of a date with such a good looking person before.
I wanted to get some stuff done today but agreed to this because we hadn't had a chance to meet up in the last week or so. Next time I think I'll just cancel so I can work on what I needed to get done today instead. Oh well.
What went wrong exactly?
davidwhangchoi
Member
i'm curious what happened as well. pretty girl that's acting weird?
User 479360
Banned
I have my first ever 3rd date (which follows my first ever 2nd date) on Tuesday. We agreed to go bowling Tuesday night.
I would've preferred a movie, since I could've tried holding her hand, but bowling is fine. I'm just not a big fan of it or good at it, which worries me. I gave her the option, though.
Looking forward to it.
I would've preferred a movie, since I could've tried holding her hand, but bowling is fine. I'm just not a big fan of it or good at it, which worries me. I gave her the option, though.
Looking forward to it.
1) congrats and good for you man
2) don't approach the date as this is your first/last third date
3) movie dates are terrible
4) bowling is fine and wayyyyy better than a movie because you can actually talk/get to know her
5) OWN your bowling shittiness - she's not there because of your bowling talent
6) have you touched her? the hand hold aspiration is concerning
She did you a favor. Allow me to sell you on bowling.
- You're given plenty of opportunity to check her out as the walks back and forth. Especially dat booty.
- It's inherently competitive. You can tease, you can flirt, and you can bet with ease. If you haven't kissed her yet, just ask her on the final frame "How about if I get X pins, I get to kiss you goodnight?" Not as good as just going for it, but better than asking her directly.
- It still lends itself to some touching. If she sucks more than you, offer to help her with her "form". If she's better, ask her to watch what your hands are doing, and then ask her to help you adjust. Or something. Most girls I date are worse at bowling than me...
- Or there's always dual-high-fives for strikes
- There's usually a bar.
If you need something to say so you know what you're doing..."The thumb guides the ball" "The little arrows are to help you aim. The dots before the lane are to help your feet start in the same place" "Throw the ball. Throw it like there's a baby chilling just beyond the foul line. Avoid the baby (this might not work if she hates babies)"
Dylan Sexbang
Banned
A few months later, I finally realized the girl GAF told me was all sorts of wrong is wrong for me. So I started an OKC in my new state, and am already starting to message girls. I'm not hoping for any replies, I'm not expecting anything. Hope leads to defeat, which leads to devastation. Just sending messages to people to say hi. Life is shit now, but it's not going to get better on its own.
Don't only use okc. Use tinder. Use bumble. Use tantan. Use them all. Meet people in real life too. Life ain't shit unless you want it to be. Don't wallow, go get a girl friend or bang someone or something in between. Whatever you want you can do it. You are in a new city and a new state, you can be a whole new person too.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Eh, if was multiple things but biggest was probably house much she was flipping emotions throughout the night. She flipped between hot and cold so much and then sort of space out a good number of times throughout the night too. It was just the weirdest date I've ever been on and it wasn't the first date we've gone on which made it weirder.
n64coder
Member
This is a good suggestion. Another option is to keep notes in OneNote.
ZackieChan
Member
Or possibly Salesforce or comparable cloud-based CRM products. Ayy lmao
Lol just saying it's not difficult to keep track. Especially if you are like me (and my man zackiechan over here) and travel a lot and meet girls from all over the world. Better than being lonely like most of the sad sacks in here.
Am I really weird in that I only can and will give my "attention" to one person at a time?
Mind you, I haven't dated much. I tend to make a friend through non-dating means, then end up in a relationship after if all goes well.
I have a really low "play the field" drive I guess? Practically non-existent.
Mind you, I haven't dated much. I tend to make a friend through non-dating means, then end up in a relationship after if all goes well.
I have a really low "play the field" drive I guess? Practically non-existent.
Hey dudes.
I've been single for over 5 years now, give or take 2 relationships that lasted about 2 months. I've been wanting to get back in the game for a while now, but I just can't find anybody that grab's my attention. There's plenty of pretty girls around, and I've tried to date several of them, but I always lose interest. I've tried Tinder (practically every day when I'm on the shitter) but to no avail.
Anybody experience the same thing? Any advice?
I've been single for over 5 years now, give or take 2 relationships that lasted about 2 months. I've been wanting to get back in the game for a while now, but I just can't find anybody that grab's my attention. There's plenty of pretty girls around, and I've tried to date several of them, but I always lose interest. I've tried Tinder (practically every day when I'm on the shitter) but to no avail.
Anybody experience the same thing? Any advice?
At what point do you lose interest?
Try focusing less on girls that are pretty and more on women that you enjoy or like lots of things about that have nothing to do with what they look like (pro tip: some women clean up really well, given the opportunity). It's not always the case but sometimes pretty girls can't hold a man's attention if they've been built up on the fact that their pretty is their only defining feature. You'll find your middle ground eventually.. or someone who fits both categories!
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